


Meteor

by sty_silver



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:53:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 152,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23260522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sty_silver/pseuds/sty_silver
Summary: This story has its own website! Check it out at http://meteor-tvd.com/. (Not yet accessible on mobile.)-- ** --Meteor is an alternate universe take on the plot of The Vampire Diaries. It is a single-point divergence story: initially, the only change is the personality of Elena, but the further the story progresses, the greater the change she affects. Eventually, the plot becomes unrecognizable.Our alternate Elena is smart and analytical but easily scared, ambitious but careful, cares about the lives of strangers but will always put her own survival first. She will fight for what she wants, even at times when original Elena would be a mere bystander.
Relationships: Elena Gilbert/Stefan Salvatore
Comments: 38
Kudos: 48





	1. Prologue

Lexi squinted over the billiard table, giving her cue ball a measured strike. It hit its red twin with moderate velocity, propelling it into the hole in a perfect line. On the other side of the table, a rare smile appeared on Lee’s face as he watched her.

He put down his stick and waited for her to do the same, then they both returned to the other end of the bar where their drinks were still waiting.

“I appreciate that you didn’t dumb down your play on purpose,” said Lee as they sat down. “I wasn’t sure what to expect.”

“It’s only because of you,” said Lexi lovingly. “I usually would.”

“How many times have you played this stupid game?”

Lexi laughed. “Way too often. Thousands of times. Billiard’s been around for e-ver.”

“How long? Like fifty years?”

“Over two hundred. It went in and out of fashion over time.”

“Oh, wow.” Lee took a swing at his beer. “The guy over there is sleeping with his boss,” he murmured abruptly, pointing in the direction. “The one who isn’t talking right now.”

“Mhh,” made Lexi. “Yeah, I’ve heard. It’s distracted you during the game, hasn’t it?”

Lee nodded.

“You could go over and make him stop,” said Lexi neutrally, watching the man in question as he took a sip of his much stronger drink.

“It’s none of my business. I just wish I hadn’t heard. I wish you could turn it off.”

“It doesn’t bother most people,” said Lexi. “But either way, you can’t. Wanna leave?”

But Lee shook his head. “Gotta get used to it eventually. Might as well start now.”

* * *

About an hour later, there was a beep from Lexi’s phone. She fished it out of her pocket mid-sentence, then pressed a few buttons. Her face toughened as she read the message.

“Okay,” she said with a sigh, “forget all that. We should go.” She walked over to the counter, taking out her wallet along the way. When she returned, Lee was already waiting, and they stepped outside together.

“What is it?” he asked once they had put a few yards between them and the building.

“It was Matty. The blood the hospital was gonna throw out – he said they’ll use it after all. Maybe there was an emergency or something. I could ask, but it probably doesn’t matter.”

“Do we take some anyway?”

Lexi shook her head. “Not unless you want to risk having dead patients on your conscience.”

“So...”

“Go home,” said Lexi, “and don’t worry about it. Have some if you’re hungry. We have enough for about a week. This kind of stuff is why I keep a supply. It’s no big deal.”

“You’ll go hunting?”

“It won’t be much of a hunt,” said Lexi, “but yeah.”

“And you don’t want me to come along?”

“No,” said Lexi, looking at him as she did so, “I think that wouldn’t be safe at your age. And if we did, we should plan it better.”

Lee gave a single nod. Then, they leaned forward at the same time, exchanging a kiss.

“I love you,” said Lee.

“I know you do,” said Lexi teasingly. She waited for him to turn around before making for the opposite direction herself. She walked at human speed until the end of the road, then began to run at over a hundred miles per hour, stopping every few seconds to stand still and take a look around. Even though it was already past midnight, there was still plenty of life in the streets. It wasn’t until she passed into a different part of the city that her surroundings quieted down.

Unlike the large, uniform, multi-story buildings that had been prevalent before, here there were mostly smaller, single-family houses. Lexi walked up to the entrance of one that still had light coming out its windows, ringing the doorbell. After a few seconds, a middle-aged woman opened.

“Can I... help you?” she asked with some delay.

“You could invite me in,” said Lexi, looking her into the eyes as she did so. “That would be very helpful.”

The woman opened her mouth as if to say something, but then stopped. “... of course,” she murmured instead, “come in.”

“Thank you,” said Lexi warmly, stepping into the entrance. “Do you live alone?”

“With my son,” said the woman. “I think he’s asleep.”

“What’s your name?”

“Sarah.”

“I’m Lexi,” said Lexi, holding out a hand. Sarah looked confused but eventually took it.

“Why don’t you make us a cup of tea, Sarah?” asked Lexi, still holding her hand. “And don’t worry about me. I don’t want to hurt either of you.”

“I...” began Sarah, but once again, she stopped what she had meant to say. “... of course,” she repeated instead. “Do you, uhm, wanna take a seat in the living room? It’s the door right at the end.”

“Thanks,” said Lexi, “I’ll do that.” She walked through the hall, opened the door in question, and took a few seconds to examine the room before she took a seat on an old-school wooden couch. After a few more seconds, she took out her phone and typed up a message.

_Alright, no problem. Thanks for letting me know. We’ll be fine._

Once that was done, she pocketed her phone and folded her hands on the table, waiting for her host to return.

* * *

“Who are you?” asked Sarah as she served the tea, her hands shaking. “And what do you want?”

“You okay?” asked Lexi.

“I’m... not worried about... _you,_ ” said Sarah awkwardly, and in a tone as if she were surprised by her own words.

Lexi watched her, a slight frown on her face.

“I... guess that’s good enough? Anyway. Eyes at me, please.”

Seemingly without thinking, Sarah did as she was asked.

“Don’t freak out. Just in case. Good, good. Keep looking at me.” Lexi smiled. “Very good. I’m a vampire. Vampires drink blood. I’m hungry. But no reason to panic. I only need about twenty-five ounces. If there’s any reason why that’s a problem – any medical condition, illness, or whatever – I’m all ears.“ Lexi leaned back in her seat, taking a sip at her tea. “I’ll even heal your wound afterward.” she added. “And if you hold still, it’ll barely hurt.”

Despite Lexi’s words, Sarah looked unusually pale. “Please don’t,” she whispered.

“What’s the issue?”

“It’s... I’m...”

“Yes?”

Sarah opened her mouth as if to respond, but then closed it, and then opened it again-

“... I’ve already lost blood,” she said, though it sounded as if she had been trying to say something else.

“How?”

“I, um...” Sarah blinked. “It’s not important. I shouldn’t have brought it up. Forget it.”

Lexi raised an eyebrow. “Look at me, please,” she said, and once again, Sarah obeyed immediately.

“Why did you lose blood?”

“A vampire bit me,” said Sarah at once. “Two days ago.”

“Oh, you gotta be kidding me,” said Lexi. “The odds of that are... oh boy.” She dropped back in her seat, letting out a breath. “So that’s why you were so freaked out, even after I told you not to worry about me. Guess that makes sense...” She thought for a moment, then reestablished eye contact. “Okay – everything the vampire has instructed you to do doesn’t matter anymore. Got it?”

Lexi watched as Sarah blinked several times, then brought two shaking hands to her face.

“So, someone broke into your house two days ago,” said Lexi slowly. “He drank your blood – without your consent, I assume – and you thought it was a good idea to open the door for a visitor at this time?”

“She told me to act as if nothing had happened,” squeaked Sarah, now sounding even more frightened than before. “When you rang, I didn’t want to open, I thought it was her, but I couldn’t stop myself, I couldn’t, I had to open, I-”

“Hey,” interrupted Lexi, “hey, calm down. I get it. She was a real scumbag. What she did was cruel. She could’ve just made you forget instead. I’m sorry, I really am. And you still have nothing to fear from me.”

“It’s not... I’m not afraid of you.” Still breathing heavily, Sarah reached out with both hands, taking Lexi’s into hers. “It’s her,” she whispered. “She said she’d come back. She said she’d come back and kill me. She said she’d kill my son. She told me that, but I couldn’t run, I tried to, but I had to act as if nothing had happened, so I couldn’t, I couldn’t...” Her grip tightened. “You have to help me. Help me! Please!”

“Oh dear.” Lexi freed one of her hands to rub her left temple. “So, she made you wait for her, knowing what would happen but unable to do anything about it. Wow, what a bitch.”

“You have to do something,” begged Sarah. “Please...”

“What do you want me to do? Wait here until she comes back and kill her because I disagree with her life choices? I would have to kill every other vampire I meet, if I were like that. Besides, I wouldn’t be surprised if she never came back. Maybe she just wanted to scare you.”

“But what if she does? This is my son’s life that’s at stake. And my own.”

“I get it, but still, what do you want me to do?”

“At least make it so we can run,” whispered Sarah, “if you can.”

“I’ve done that already, I think. I’ve told you everything she’s done doesn’t matter anymore – that should have removed any compulsion from her. Is there anything you feel like you can’t do?”

Sarah, who was still holding Lexi’s other hand in between hers, seemed to pause at this, looking down at the table for a while.

“... no, not anymore. Thank you. You’ll let us leave?”

“Well,” murmured Lexi, “I’m hardly gonna compel you to wait, just so some bloodthirsty little shit can come and commit a double murder, am I?”

“And you won’t take blood from me?”

“Lady, I’ve asked you about your health for a reason. No, of course I won’t feed on you if you’re already short.”

“Then,” said Sarah, “then...” Nervously, she threw a gaze at the door. “... we’ll leave,” she whispered. “Right now. We can figure out what to do with the house later. We’ll pack our things, and we’ll take a cab and... and...” She took several deep breaths. “I don’t know when she’ll come back. Last time, it was in the middle of the night, but maybe... can... will you stay here until we’re gone? Please?”

Lexi nodded. “Go ahead,” she murmured, taking out her phone once again. “I’ll wait here.”

 _Will be late,_ she typed, _but don’t worry about me, I’m fine._ Her finger hovered above the send button, then she went back to edit the message. _I’ll probably be fine,_ she typed instead, then sent it. When she looked up, Sarah was still just standing across the table, looking at her.

“If she comes back,” she said, “can you protect me?”

“Well, my compulsion overrode hers, which means I’m older than her,” said Lexi. “Older means stronger,” she added. “But I don’t know by how much – could be any amount. If she’s a real threat, I can’t promise you anything. I’m not looking to get into a fight.” She took a breath, driving a hand through her hair. “But I’d say the chances that she’s old are... low. And if she is a newbie, then sure, I’ll kick her ass. It’s not like she wouldn’t deserve it.”

“And...” whispered Sarah, “if we’re _not_ here... if we’re not... and if she... is she just going to... kill someone else instead?”

“I have no idea,” said Lexi. “But if you want to make sure she doesn’t...” She lifted up her hand and pointed downward with her index finger.

Sarah lowered her gaze. “I’ll go wake up Aaron,” she said. “We’ll be quick, I promise.”

* * *

Zach winced as he heard someone behind him, turning around at once.

“Uncle Stefan.” He put aside the sheet of paper he had been reading. “You scared me. What are you – what happened?”

Stefan’s clothes and his hair were wet, enough so to lightly drip onto the carpet.

“There was an accident,” said Stefan, his voice distant. “A car drove off Wickery Bridge. Two parents and their daughter. I was close enough to go after them, but the man wouldn’t let me save him until I saved his daughter first. I did what he wanted, and now she’s alive, but it was too late for them. Both of her parents died.”

“Shit. Who were they?”

“I compelled someone to call an ambulance. They used the name Gilbert when they found her.”

“Oh my god. Grayson and Miranda?”

“You know them?”

“They’re on the council. Both of them. I see them all the time.”

Stefan took a step closer. “Their daughter. Did you know about her?”

“I...” began Zach. “I know she _exists_. I know that they have a son and a daughter. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her. Why?”

“She looks like Katherine.”

“... _what?”_

“She looks like Katherine,” repeated Stefan. “I couldn’t believe it. I first thought I had imagined it... I barely got a look at her when I pulled her out, she had her hair all over her face, and I went back for her parents as soon as I could. But when it was over...”

“You’re under shock, uncle. You’ve just been through-”

But Stefan cut him off. “I’m a vampire, Zach. It takes more than this to mess with my head. I didn’t imagine it; she looks like Katherine.”

“Okay,” said Zach slowly, “but so what? Sometimes, two unrelated people look similar. It doesn’t mean-”

“They’re not _similar_. She has the same face. I couldn’t tell them apart if both stood before me. What if it’s her, Zach? What if she’s come back?”

“Stefan, even if she were alive, they have raised their daughter for years – and besides, Katherine was a vampire. She was older than you. She would never get stuck in a car.”

“I know,” murmured Stefan, “but everything is the same. She’s even at the same age. What if it’s... a spell, what if...” He drove through his wet hair with both hands.

“Isn’t it far more likely that it’s a coincidence?”

“No. You don’t have as good of a memory for faces as I have. This kind of coincidence doesn’t happen. Only identical twins look this alike.” He began to pace around the room. “I have to do something,” he murmured. “I can’t leave now. If she has her personality, that means she’s dangerous...”

“That’s crazy,” said Zach. “What do you want to do? The girl just lost both her parents. She probably won’t even be going to school anymore.”

“Katherine turned me into this,” said Stefan, without even looking at him. “Me and Damon. You don’t know what he used to be like. He refused to join the army for ideological reasons. He wasn’t a monster, not when he was still human. And neither was I. Katherine has dragged us both into hell. If she has returned, if it’s some kind of a spell, even if she lost her memories... I can’t just leave her. I can’t let it happen.”

“So what, you’re going to murder her? Kill an innocent girl who just lost her parents, just because she looks like someone who’s been dead for over a hundred years?”

“I have to find out what she’s like,” said Stefan slowly. “I can’t find out how it happened, but I can find out if she’s like the monster who turned me.”

“Does that mean you want to stay? For how long?”

Stefan looked up, his gaze slowly settling on Zach’s face. He said nothing for a while, until-

“I’m sorry, Zach, but I don’t think I want you to remember this. I shouldn’t have come here. And I’m not planning to stay in this house.” Zach said something in protest when he realized what was happening, but Stefan simply ignored it, bridging the gap between then at vampire speed. “Forget that I was here. Forget everything I’ve just told you. You’ve broken a bottle of wine and just removed the splinters. You should get a towel to clean it up.”

He was gone a moment later.

* * *

The girl shrieked as he suddenly appeared in front of her, but there was no-one around to hear it.

“Calm down,” commanded Stefan, taking her head between his hands. “I’m not here to hurt you; we’re just having a chat. You’re relaxed and happy to talk to me. Do you understand?”

“Of course,” murmured the girl at once. Then, she smiled. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Amber.”

“That’s better. Do you know a girl named Elena Gilbert?”

* * *

“You can remember what I’ve told you last time,” said Stefan.

It was two months after the accident. Stefan was looking away as surprise and then anger flashed across Zach’s face.

“And,” said Zach after a while, “is she like Katherine? I know you didn’t kill her yet.”

“No,” said Stefan, “no, she is not.”

“Then why are you still here? Why didn’t you leave?”

Stefan turned around.

“I shouldn’t be. I’ve tried to leave – I did leave – but I had to come back, had to hear her voice again... it brings me back, Zach. Right back to 1864. I don’t even need to see her, just her voice is enough. It is so much like Katherine’s.”

“But 1864 was horrible,” said Zach. “You got shot, and you... you did what we know you did, and you lost everything. Why would you want to be reminded of that?”

Stefan paused, as if thinking about this for the first time. Then, he shrugged.

“It was horrible,” he echoed. “But it makes me feel.”

“Feel what? Loss? Sadness?”

“Yeah,” said Stefan, “and anger, and guilt...”

“Is that not worse than nothing?”

“I think nothing is worse than nothing. Don’t look at me like that, Zach. You don’t know what it’s like. I’ve lived in hiding for so long, just trying not to hurt anyone. I’ve grown numb. Every few years, I get a visit from Lexi, and I’m alive for a few days... then it all fades again. You know that witches say vampires are walking corpses? We’re not really alive. That’s what it seems like to me. But when I hear her voice, I can feel again... 1864 feels so much more real than what happened ten years ago...”

Zach was shaking his head. “Well, the council doesn’t suspect anything. They still know that vampires are real, but this time, it really was an accident... and there haven’t been any attacks in a long time. Things are safe, for now at least. But still, what is your plan? What do you want to do?”

“I have no idea. What should I do? Tell me.”

“Leave,” said Zach. “Leave the girl alone.”

“I have left her alone,” said Stefan. “She doesn’t even know I exist.”

“Good. Keep it that way.”

Stefan sat down. He had appeared in the living room this time, which had a massive wooden table in its center. His eyes trailed across the room, then landed on Zach.

“I don’t think I will.”

Zach sighed. “I know that Katherine made you against your will. I know it’s not your fault. You didn’t choose to be a...” He stopped. “But-”

“A what?” interrupted Stefan. “What were you about to say? What do you really think about vampires?”

Zach said nothing.

“I am not going to hurt you, Zach. I haven’t taken a human life in sixty-two years, and nothing you say has a chance to change that. If you secretly hate vampires...” He held out both hands. “So what? Do you think it’s the first time I’ve heard that?”

“I don’t hate vampires, uncle. I don’t. I hate Damon, yes, but not you.”

Stefan nodded in acknowledgment. “But?”

“If you want to know – I think that the world would be better off without your kind.”

Stefan laughed. “That’s it? That’s what you’ve been afraid to tell me? Of course the world would be better off without us. The world would be better off if _I_ had never existed. I know that. But it’s too late. I’m still alive, and I don’t intend to stop living any time soon.”

“As long as you have it under control,” said Zach. “But the girl-”

“Thank you,” said Stefan, cutting him off once again. “Thank you, Zach. I know what I’ll do now. Time for you to forget this conversation. I’ll probably come back for good, sometime in September.”

* * *

After another week, Elena began to leave the house again. Soon after that, she went back to school for the final month before summer break.

Stefan followed a rigid schedule throughout that time, hunting twice a day, once first thing in the morning and once come evening. It wasn’t rare that he would travel far to do it, exploring different forests in different parts of West Virginia, but always returning to Mystic Falls and the house Elena was living in. He would always kill exactly one animal every hunt, usually something the size of a fox, and drain it dry. He didn’t touch a drop of human blood.

He had seldom gone near the school building, where it was hard to stay in hearing range without being seen. But when the new year began, he went off to pose as a seventeen-year-old, compelling the secretary to believe documentation existed, and later the principal to make sure it did.

* * *

“You said you had it under control,” said Zach, on the evening after the first day of school.

“And I do. it wasn’t me.”

“Please, uncle Stefan. Mystic Falls is a different place now. It’s been quiet for years. But there are people who still remember. And you being here, it’s just gonna stir things up.”

“That’s not my intention.”

“Then what is? Why did you come back? After all this time, why now?”

But Stefan just gave him a look. “This is my home. I don’t need to explain myself to you.”

* * *

“We’re done,” said Sarah, coming down the staircase, carrying a trunk. She was followed by her son, a young man around twenty. “I’ve already called a cab.”

“I’ve heard,” said Lexi. “Well, I still have to compel you both not to spoil the secret. Don’t worry,” she added, “it won’t be like what your vampire bitch did. You won’t have to live your life as if you don’t know anything; you just aren’t allowed to tell anyone – or let them find out on purpose.”

Sarah nodded. “Do it,” she said, and Lexi went up to her and gave her the respective command, then repeated the procedure for her son.

“Do vampires burn in the sun?” Sarah asked afterward. “There’s so much here we couldn’t take... I want to know if we can come back.”

“Almost all of them do,” said Lexi. “Sorry, that’s all I’ll tell you.”

“Okay. ... well then.” Sarah picked up her trunk awkwardly. “I guess we’ll go outside to make sure we see the cab when it’s coming. Can you wait until it’s here? It should just be another minute.”

Lexi nodded. She was still sitting at the table, her hands folded. But when Sarah was about to open the door, she suddenly stood up.

“Wait.”

Sarah turned around. “Yes?”

“You got something to write?” asked Lexi.

“Uhm... yeah, sure. It’s, uhm, it’s in there...”

Sarah pointed at a drawer, and Lexi opened it, taking out a pen and a sheet of paper.

“I don’t think you will,” she said as she ripped the sheet in two, “but if you do ever have problems with vampires again and somehow live long enough to call for help... let’s exchange phone numbers. Just in case.”

Sarah nodded. “Thank you,” she said coyly. “Thank you for being... decent... despite what you are.”

Lexi’s mouth twitched. “Sure, you got it. Doing my best.”


	2. Beginning

_Dear Diary,_

_today I was asked, “how are you” at least 37 times. I still don’t know how to answer. I can’t say “I’m fine,” because that would be a lie. But saying “I’m not fine” doesn’t work, either. People are so used to everyone lying that they think the only reason for saying “I’m not fine” is that you want help.  
_

_I don’t want help, so I’ve tried to get creative. I’ve tried “still alive” and “could be worse” and “hanging in there” and “I’ll be fine.” The last one’s my favorite, I think. It’s not a lie – I’m sure I’ll be fine eventually, even if I don’t-  
_

I stopped writing. A crow was sitting on my parents’ tombstone. I frowned, trying to figure out where I minded it being there and decided that I didn’t.

“Okay,” I said, “hi, bird.”

The bird didn’t answer, and I turned back to my journal. But before I had written another word, I stopped. My sight had been clear mere seconds ago, but now, fog was creeping up at a rate I could observe in real-time. I could feel my heartbeat accelerating. Was this natural? I hadn’t seen fog appear this quickly before, ever. What was going on?

Not intending to find out, I stood up and stumbled away from the grave. A moment later, the same crow landed on another tombstone right next to me. I hadn’t even noticed it leaving before.

 _This wasn’t normal._ At least, it didn’t seem normal. Fighting down my paranoia, I turned around.

There was the outline of a person standing right next to my parents’ graves.

That was too much. I turned back around, running away as fast as I could. Of course, I stumbled over my legs almost immediately. I didn’t cope well with fear. I caught my own fall with both hands but then slipped. My head didn’t make contact with the ground, but my elbows and legs did, and it _hurt_.

“Are you okay?”

Utterly startled, I let out a scream before I could stop myself, then turned around to the source of the question. Some guy was standing there.

“ _No,_ ” I pressed forth behind gritted teeth. “Do I _look_ okay? Shit,” I added upon looking at my hands – there was blood.

Despite my words, I felt mostly relief – at least now, it seemed like I wasn’t in any immediate danger.

He turned around. “Sorry. Stupid question.”

“I didn’t say ‘leave’,” I protested. “I think I saw someone, that’s why I was running. Are _you_ okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” Despite his words, he wasn’t turning around. This wasn’t normal behavior – what was wrong with him?

But then he did, still looking non-threatening. At this point, I realized I had seen him before – he was the guy who had transferred into school today, and we had a bunch of classes together.

“Sorry. Do you need to see a doctor?”

I threw a closer look at the wound.

“No,” I decided, “I’ll be fine. But-” This was one of those situations where the smartest thing to do was socially awkward, and I forced myself to do it anyway, “-I really think I saw someone. I know I’ve probably just imagined it, there’s all this fog, but can we not stay here, please?”

I was pleasantly surprised when he didn’t protest. “Yeah,” he just said, “let’s get out of here. Do you need help?” he added when I grimaced at the still ongoing pain in my knees.

“I, um-” I resisted the urge to say ‘no thanks’. “Yeah, sure.” I picked up my notebook, then offered him an arm. He took it and, gently, guided me toward the cemetery’s exit.

“Thank you,” I said earnestly, once we were there. “Sorry, I know you’re in my history class, but I didn’t catch your name.”

“Stefan. I think I’ve caught yours – the teacher mentioned it. Elena, is it?”

“It is. Nice to meet you.” I tried to recall the point at which my name had fallen but came up blank.

“Nice to meet you, too. We, uhm, also have English and French together.”

“Oh.” I hadn’t paid much attention during class, neither to other students nor to the subject. The first day of school was usually safe to take easy.

I looked at him, trying to read his expression. There might be a benign explanation – some people were just really good with names – but it did seem noteworthy that he had remembered mine.

“When did my name come up?” I asked quietly, deliberately not breaking eye contact,

“You were being... scolded by Mr. Tanner. I think you were... writing in that.” He pointed at the diary I was still holding.

“Right... I was.“ I gave a sheepish smile as I remembered the incident. “Yeah, the, um, the class wasn’t that interesting. And I use these differently than most people,” I added. “Sometimes I write journal entries, but other times, it’s more of an all-purpose notebook. Helps to not think the same thoughts over and over again.”

Stefan nodded. “It does for me, too.”

I tried to smile. I wasn’t quite sure when I had decided to make this into more than a conversation, but we were past the point where I could pretend to myself that I didn’t know what I was doing. Moreover, it seemed to be working.

I couldn’t think of anything appropriate to say next, though, so I decided to simply go for it.

“Do you want to get a drink?” I asked coyly.

For a moment, I worried that I might have misjudged the situation, but then he nodded.

“I’d love to.”

“Great. Then, how about... today, at the grill, at six? At the fireplace?”

“Sounds good.”

“Awesome. Well – until then...”

“Can I walk you home?”

“Sure – I think my knee is fine, though.”

He nodded, took a step back, and indicated for me to lead the way.

“So,” I asked, “what were you doing here?”

“Visiting. I have... friends that are buried here.”

“Right,” I murmured. “Well, I hope I haven’t been keeping you.”

“It’s alright – I can come back later. What were you doing?”

I hesitated. I wasn’t eager to tell him about my parents, but I couldn’t fault him for asking, given that I had just done the same thing. And I couldn’t think of a way to dodge the question without lying.

“My parents died four months ago. Since then, I’ve come to the cemetery a lot after school. It’s actually just a nice place to be – quiet, no visitors at this time – usually.”

“Do you have siblings?”

 _Wow._ No follow-up questions, not even asking me if I was fine.

“Yes,” I said, “a little brother. Well, one class below me. We live with our aunt.”

He didn’t stick with this topic either. Instead, he asked whether I had always lived here (I had), and then we chatted a bit about the town. Before long, we reached my house. He excused himself without much ado and left.

I tried not to get too excited, reminding myself that people often gave a first impression that was better than what they were actually like. So far, though, he was the most pleasant person I had been around in quite a while.

Telling him about the way I used journals had been a deliberate move. The advice I had followed, which had worked like a charm, was to share something private so that the other person would feel pressure to do the same. Knowing private things about each other was a big part of feeling close to someone.

* * *

“You asked him on a _date_?” Bonnie echoed, sounding impressed. It was almost six; I had planned to arrive a bit earlier to spend some time with Bonnie, but she’d been held up. If Stefan was on time, he’d be here any moment now.

“We didn’t call it a date, but yeah.”

“Why?”

“Well,” I said, “guys used to ask me out, but no-one has done it since my parents have died. I guess it makes me unattractive? And I like him – at least so far. And he’s hot. Also,” I added with a shrug, “it’s the twenty-first century. Girls can ask guys out if they want to. Even if I’ve never done it before.”

“Caroline won’t be happy,” Bonnie informed me. “She seemed really set on getting with Stefan.”

“Oh.” I _did_ feel bad about this – a little. Not enough for it to change anything. “Well, maybe after tonight, I’ll lose all interest.”

“You really think that’ll happen?”

“I don’t know. You’re the psychic, remember?” We had talked about that earlier that day – something related to her grandma, but clearly just a joke to her.

“Oh, right.” Bonnie giggled. “I forgot. Okay, give me a sec. Grams says I have to concentrate.”

“Wait,” I said. “You need... a crystal ball.” A grabbed her beer from the ground beside me and handed it to her.

She took it, but then didn’t retreat her arm. Instead, she just kept holding on to the bottle, her hand touching mine.

Then, she suddenly pulled back.

“Bonnie?”

She stared at me, wide-eyed.

“That was weird. When I just touched you, I saw a crow.”

It took about a second of me being merely irritated before I remembered the scene at the cemetery. My carefree mood disappeared at once.

“What?” I asked numbly.

“A crow,” Bonnie repeated, there was fog... a man... I’m drunk! It’s the drinking. There’s nothing psychic about it. Yeah? Okay, I’m gonna get a refill.”

She disappeared.

_Fuck._

A crow, fog, a man.

She had not mentioned the cemetery, but she might as well have. The probability that this was a coincidence was approximately zero.

The only reasonable explanation was a prank. Unfortunately, it was not at all like Bonnie to pull this, not to mention that I had no idea how she would even know about-

“Hi.”

I winced, hard.

“Sorry,” said Stefan. “I did it again, didn’t I? Startling you.”

“it’s-” I began, but then stopped. He could be in on the joke. It was odd for Bonnie to plan this with him, but it was the only explanation I had. I didn’t know him well enough to rule it out. Maybe he had convinced her. Maybe he thought it was funny.

It certainly wasn’t funny. Either way, I was going to find out.

“Are you in on this?” I asked straight-up.

“In on what?”

“With Bonnie,” I said.

“Who’s Bonnie?”

I looked at him, pondering my options. Then, I realized that I was too freaked out to worry about seeming weird.

“Okay, listen. If you are in on this, I get it – you don’t want to spoil it – but I won’t take it well if you’re not honest with me now. If you’re in on the joke, and you want there to be something between us, tell me now. Don’t lie to me.”

Stefan left me no time to worry about having spoiled the chemistry. He shook his head immediately.

“I’m not in on any joke,” he said, “and as far as I’m aware, I haven’t talked to anyone named Bonnie recently.”

“ _Shit,_ ” I hissed. “Okay, I believe you. Sorry for being weird. Do you want to know what happened?”

He nodded, and I told him, wondering whether he’d insist that it was just a coincidence.

He didn’t. Instead, he asked if I had told anyone about it, which was a reasonable question.

I shook my head.

“And you’ve seen someone at the cemetery?”

“Yeah, I did. It was foggy, and I was already freaked out, but... I’m pretty sure.”

He frowned.

“You’re right,” he then said, “it can’t be a coincidence.”

“Then what?”

“I don’t know.”

I looked around, but Bonnie wasn’t in sight anymore. I assumed she had seen Stefan and decided that I’d prefer to be alone with him.

“Well,” I said eventually, “I promised you a drink, so...”

“Right,” he said, “let’s get one.”

We didn’t touch the subject again, even though I knew it was more important than how our already hopelessly strange date would go. Instead, we mostly talked about school, and I even told him more about the accident. I usually avoided the topic, but I noticed that it was different with him. He never made me feel like I had to say something or to feel a certain way. If you took that away, it turned out that I _liked_ talking about my loss.

But all of that came to an abrupt end when we heard the scream.

“That’s my brother,” I said immediately. We ran into the direction from which it had come. There was Jeremy, kneeling above-

Oh, no.

It took me a few seconds, then I recognized the girl as Vicki, a girl at our school that I knew Jer was interested in.

She was bleeding from the neck.

The sight hit me like a bag of ice. _Not another death_ was all I could think. _Not another death, please._ I had no idea whether she was alive or not, but she wasn’t moving.

“I’ll call an ambulance,” shouted someone, I didn’t know who. I blinked through my tears, looking around, and finally saw Caroline. I ran towards her, and she hugged me.

“Shh,” Caroline made. “It’s okay, Elena. She’s not dead.”

I wondered how she knew; probably someone had said it and hadn’t heard. I was more affected by stuff like this than normal people.

“Will she make it?” I asked, not daring to look myself.

“I’m sure she will. Come on, Elena, let’s get you away from her. There’s nothing you can do.”

“Stefan,” I murmured, “where’s Stefan?”

“I, uhm, I don’t see him. Was he with you?”

“Yes,” I said, then drew back my head to look at the scenery. I couldn’t see him, but it was also dark...

“Come on,” said Caroline, and I let her pull me away from the scene.


	3. Suspicions, #1

The party went on after the incident, but I didn’t go back out, and Caroline was loyal enough to stay with me. I didn’t deal well with death, or _possible death_ , or blood for that matter, and it had only gotten worse since the accident.

I had Caroline comfort me, and she even went out to confirm that Vicki hadn’t died and (according to the people from the ambulance) wasn’t in critical condition. Eventually, I calmed down, and the remainder of the evening transpired with a regained sense of normalcy.

At one point, Caroline abruptly changed topics.

“Stefan likes you.”

“Hm?” I made. “Why are you saying that?”

“Oh, come on, Elena! I tried to hook up with him earlier, but he just ignored me, and a minute later, I see him talking to you. And you didn’t even do anything. It’s always like this – guys just choose you.”

“Actually, I asked him out.”

“What?” Caroline stared at me, looking as if I’d told her we were getting married. “When? How?”

“I met him at the cemetery. I... tripped... and he was there, being nice, so I invited him for a drink.”

“Since when do you ask people out?”

“Ever since the accident, no-one’s been asking me. Well,” I added as I remembered a particular incident, “almost no-one.” I reached over the table, taking her hands into mine. “Caroline,” I said, “thank you for telling me that it’s bothering you, rather than complaining to Bonnie about it. I really appreciate it.”

I had tried for months – nay, _years_ – to convince my two best friends to tell me when something was bothering them. My patience for secrecy was low, especially if it was about something as petty as who got with the new guy at school.

“Thanks,” Caroline murmured, but she didn’t look happy. “But _usually_ you don’t even try. And I do. I try so hard. And guys never choose me.”

I drew back. “I’m sorry,” I said, and I meant it.

“What am I doing wrong?”

“I have no idea. You’re right, Caroline – I don’t try. It was the first time I’ve asked anyone. It usually just happens.”

Caroline still didn’t look happy, but I could tell that she appreciated my honesty. This was something I had noticed more and more recently: even people who lied all the time and thought it was normal for others to lie to them all the time often appreciated honesty when they got it.

“What was he doing at the cemetery?” She eventually asked.

“I think he was visiting dead relatives.”

I considered telling her about the incident and Bonnie’s apparent clairvoyant powers but decided against it. Not because I was planning to keep it a secret – I would tell her eventually, just not yet.

After that, the conversation shifted toward Vicki and the incident. However, I had promised Jenna to be home early, and I kept my promises, so I soon excused myself and went home.

Once there, I dropped onto my bed, opened my diary, and began writing.

_Dear Diary,_

_here’s a list of all the weird stuff that’s happened today:_

_– fog creeping up unnaturally fast_

_– a weirdly behaving crow_

_– I thought I saw someone in the fog_

_– Bonnie said that when she touched me, she saw “fog, a crow, a man”_

_– Vicki suddenly got attacked by an animal, but we only found her after she had passed out_

I stared at the list. Having written it down, I realized that it was even worse than I had realized. What Bonnie had said was, of course, the most noticeable thing, and the only reason why I had made this list. But the others were plenty weird, too. For example, the cemetery was almost always empty at that time of day. What were the odds of three people being there at the same time? And the fog... I didn’t know how likely it was, but I knew I had never seen anything comparable happen before.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t that helpful to brood over how strange the day had been. Judging the probability of things that had already happened was relevant to decide what had caused them, but in this case, I didn’t have competing explanations. It was worth taking notes, but beyond that, I didn’t know what to do except to keep my eyes open and perhaps talk to Bonnie.

I spend a while brooding over the problem, but without reaching a solution.

* * *

I saw Stefan again in English (the first class of the following day), where he apologized for his sudden disappearance on the day before. I assured him it was fine, but didn’t ask him out for another date, figuring that I’d wait for him to make the next move. He didn’t, though we had classes together every day; if he was still interested, he was going to have plenty of opportunities in the remaining week.

* * *

“They’re keeping her overnight to make sure there is no infection, but she should be able to come home tomorrow,” Matt said on the break between classes. I knew he had visited Vicki in the hospital, and I’d taken the first opportunity to find reassurance that she hadn’t died.

“That’s good news,” I replied, only now realizing how worried I’d been.

“Yeah.”

“Did you get in touch with her mom?”

“Called and left a message. She’s in Virginia Beach with her boyfriend, so... we’ll see how long it takes her to come rushing home.”

“I’m so glad she’s okay,” I murmured, my morbid mind imagining what it would’ve been like if she had died in the hospital.

“Yeah. And now there’s talk of some missing campers...”

“Did she say what kind of animal it was that attacked her?”

“She said it was a vampire.”

I froze in place. The books I’d been carrying fell to the ground.

“Elena?”

_A vampire._

Normally, I wouldn’t think much of it. The probability that Vicki was just delirious was so much higher than the probability that vampires existed that it wouldn’t even be worth a second thought.

_Normally._

But this had come _immediately_ after a sequence of inexplicable coincidences, all of which had taken place on the same day. Actually, this new piece also belonged to that group, since Vicki had been attacked yesterday.

“Elena?”

Suddenly, I remembered something else. Stefan. Yesterday. In the cemetery. I had hurt my hands. There’d been blood. He’d turned around for an unusually long time mid-conversation. It had been odd behavior, but not noteworthy enough on its own for me to pay much attention to it. Under normal circumstances, it would be ridiculous to privilege a sinister explanation over a harmless one.

But now – I would have to be an utter idiot to ignore this.

I picked up my books.

“Elena, are you okay? I’m sure she just imagined it. The doctors said she’s lost a lot of blood.”

I tried to think. Survival was my primary objective. If Stefan was a vampire, _and yes I was going to take this theory seriously, I was not going to ignore something that could kill me out of fear of thinking something embarrassing because that’s what stupid people did,_ so if Stefan was a vampire, then-

But, hold on – he had been _with me_ when Vicki had been attacked.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Sorry. It was just, I, uhm, the neck. Vicki’s neck. When we found her yesterday. It looked so much like bites of, you know, I just, so when you said vampire, it was just... a surprise.”

That was a lie, _but the situation was serious so it was okay to lie,_ and this was not the time to feel bad about it.

Matt seemed to buy it, and we both went to our next class.

A correction on my earlier thought: Stefan had not been with me when Vicki was attacked; he had been with me when she was found. But, nonetheless – we had been talking for at least ten minutes beforehand, and Caroline had said that she had met him even before that. And he sure hadn’t seemed like he had just bitten someone.

And then there was the fact that Stefan simply didn’t behave like a psychopath.

Well, if I was going to entertain the idea that vampires were real, then it could have also been a different one. That didn’t have to be a coincidence – Stefan had just appeared, so others might have come with him.

I wanted nothing more than to skip class, go home, write things into my diary, and get some time to think about it. But behaving suspiciously now would be stupid. I might have already botched the looking-normal part by dropping my books, but perhaps no-one had noticed.

The math teacher came in. I liked math – I was easily the best in my class at it – but right now, I would have preferred any other subject. This was the one where my not paying attention would be the most noticeable.

I tried and failed to focus, but at least I managed not to draw any attention to myself. And Stefan and I didn’t have math together, thank god.

After class, I made sure to get out of the building as quickly as possible so as not to run into Stefan. It worked, and I managed to get home without being attacked by vampires on the way. I got into my room.

I locked the door.

Then, I curled up onto my bed and pulled the blanket above my head. No light, no distractions. Now was the time to _think._

* * *

Vampires. And psychic/clairvoyant powers.

If one of the two was real, I had no trouble believing that the other was, too. Consequently, I decided to lump both of them together and label them the ’supernatural’.

What was my prior on the supernatural being real?

If asked two days ago, I’d have said something like ’one in a billion’. Now I knew that this was foolish. If I actually believed that it was one in a billion, I probably would have to conclude that all the evidence which had accumulated was purely coincidental. But I knew on a gut level that this was absurd, _more_ absurd than the idea that vampires were real.

I was reminded of something I had once read: if a one-in-a-million event happens that supports a one-in-a-million hypothesis, the correct thing to do is not to nod along, update on the evidence, and leverage the hypothesis towards fifty-fifty odds. In the real world, one-in-a-million things just _didn’t happen_ – it was always far more likely that there was a flaw in the surrounding logic.

The upshot for me was that I wasn’t going to excuse what had happened with a low prior on the supernatural. That left only two possibilities. One, the supernatural was real. Two, there was a different, benign explanation that could explain what had happened.

It did make me wonder what my prior, my real prior, on the supernatural was, though. There still had to be a number, it just wasn’t one in a billion. Perhaps one-in-a-thousand? One-in-ten-thousand? A hundred-thousand? One of those might be reasonable. Even if it was one-in-a-hundred-thousand, that might still be shaken by what Bonnie had told me. ’A man, a crow, and fog’. It was so specific. The way clairvoyants usually operated (or so I had believed until now) was by making predictions that were vague enough such that people who didn’t understand probability could reinterpret events to fit the prediction after the fact. Consequently, if Bonnie had said ’a man, a crow, and rain’ (which would have sounded equally mysterious), I’d have dismissed it on the spot, and wouldn’t have taken any of the succeeding events seriously. But she hadn’t. What she had said had fit the scene in the cemetery, and it had done so without me stretching or reinterpreting her words or making excuses.

It occurred to me that I should ask Bonnie about it. Maybe that would clear things up. If I was going to look for a mundane explanation, it was better to have more information – and if I ended up concluding that her powers were real, it would be nice to know more about how they worked.

I decided to call her, but not without calming down first. I wouldn’t ask her about it outright – Bonnie was not a good actress, and I did not think it wise to share my suspicions with her just yet. That meant I had to pretend it was a casual call – and to do that, I needed to be able to manage a normal conversation.

So I rolled over to my side, the more comfortable position, and tried to put my thoughts on hold.

* * *

I opened my eyes. It was completely dark. I realized that I had fallen asleep, which had not been part of the plan, and that my blanket was still wrapped all the way above my head.

I pulled it down and reached for my phone to check the time. It was still early afternoon – I couldn’t have slept for more than half an hour, if that. But I felt much calmer, and with the phone already in hand, I decided not to lose any more time and call my clairvoyant friend.

She picked up after a few seconds. “Elena? Hi.”

“Hey, Bonnie. Do you have some time to chat?”

“Sure,” said Bonnie, “I was just finishing with dinner. You okay?”

Talking to Bonnie was safe and familiar, and I easily managed the five-or-so minutes of casual chit-chat I had hoped for, and then some. After a ten-minute long discussion about fashion, when I was just about to steer the topic toward her supposed powers, she asked me how things were looking with Stefan.

“It’s... complicated,” I said, which was dodging the question but also true.

“You know, Caroline was really set on getting with him. She did all this looking into his background. Did she tell you?”

Now _that_ was interesting, even if it wasn’t the reason I’d called.

“No, she didn’t. But she told me about how she’s disappointed that he and I...” I didn’t quite know how to finish the sentence, so I left it. “Anyway, I think we’re good now.”

“Do you even know his last name?”

“No. What did she find out?”

“His last name’s ’Salvatore’, and he lives with his uncle at the old Salvatore boarding house. Let’s see... she said he hasn’t lived here since he was a kid, that they moved around a lot. And his favorite color is blue.”

His _uncle_...

And he hadn’t lived here ’since he was a kid’. This could mean all sorts of things, depending on how Caroline had obtained this information.

In trying to hide my real thoughts, I seemed to have sounded disinterested because Bonnie soon changed the subject again. After a few more minutes of unrelated talk, I finally asked her about the incident on the previous day.

“There’s no way I’m really psychic, Elena.”

“What did you see, exactly? And how did you see it?”

“I don’t know, I was drunk...” Bonnie’s voice trailed off, but I remained silent, hoping that would prompt her to say more.

It did.

“It was like... I was touching your hand when you handed me my beer, and I just _saw_ it.”

“Saw what?”

“I don’t know, it was like... there was all this fog... and tombstones, I think. And there was a man standing beside one of them. And there was this crow.”

 _Drat_. The tombstones were new, and they _also_ fit.

“It was weird. I’ve never felt – or seen – anything like this before. But I _was_ drunk.”

“Yeah, I’m sure it’s nothing,” I lied. “How did this whole psychic thing...?”

Bonnie sighed. “Grams says I’m a witch. My ancestors were these cool Salem witch chicks, or something... grams tried to explain it, but she’d been drinking and was rambling a bit. Crazy family, yes. But witches? No way.”

“Mh,” I made, which was very different from my real reaction. I decided that this was enough; we exchanged some more pleasantries and then ended the call.

 _Witches._ So if I was on the right track here, her powers could extend to things other than clairvoyance. If there were vampires out there attacking humans, having some supernatural element on my side might be useful.

But the more significant takeaway from this conversation was just how genuine Bonnie had sounded. This made the alternative non-supernatural explanation even less likely, especially because Bonnie was a terrible actress. She would never be able to lie so convincingly.

Suddenly, I remembered something Matt had said on the side: _missing campers_.

This gave me an idea. If there were vampires out there, then they might have had other victims even before yesterday. If they did, I decided, that would be the final nail in the coffin. Then, my leading theory would be that Stefan’s uncle was out there killing people and had attacked Vicki, and Stefan...

... Stefan might have one of any number of relationships towards his uncle and the murders. Perhaps he was a murderer himself but wouldn’t touch me in particular. Perhaps he was a murderer himself and _would_ touch me as soon as I got boring or defiant. Or, perhaps he was compliant. Or, maybe, he was trying to stop it, but it was outside of his power.

Having thought this, I felt a sick feeling in my stomach. The difference between the first three mattered a great deal to _me_ , but _all_ of them made _him_ a terrible person (or vampire). And I had no reason to believe that he was actively trying to stop the murders.

But I was getting ahead of myself. First, I was going to see whether there had been any more ’animal attacks’. I got out of bed, unlocked the door...

... and then realized that I didn’t even know how to check.

“Jenna?” I called.

“I’m here.” Jenna’s voice had come from what seemed to be Jeremy’s room. True enough, I found her there, holding what appeared to be a cheap shisha pipe.

“What’s going on?” I asked carefully.

“I’ve become my worst nightmare,” Jenny said darkly. “The authority figure who has to violate a 15-year old’s privacy. Thankfully, the 15-year old in question is so unimaginative that I didn’t need to violate it for long.”

“What made you do this?”

“Your ass-hat of a history teacher shamed me good yesterday.”

“I see.” I could easily envision Mr. Tanner blaming Jenna for bad parenting. Unfortunately, I had much more important things to worry about than Jeremy’s stereotypically bad coping habits.

“It’s a phase,” I said encouragingly, “he’ll grow out of it. Um – this may sound like a weird question, but do you happen to know if anyone died around Mystic Falls in the last couple of days?”

“No idea. I haven’t been paying attention to the news at all. Why?”

“Do you have any idea how I could find out?”

“Google?” suggested Jenna.

 _Google._ Right.

Despite being big into math, I was _not_ big into computers. I spend very little time in front of the screen, and if I did, it was usually to read articles. I did _own_ my own computer, but only because I hadn’t foreseen how little I’d end up using it.

“Thanks.” I ran back to my room, booting the machine. Then, realizing I didn’t know what to search for, I went back. “Do you have an idea what I should type in? There’ll probably be too many hits with ’death’ and ’Mystic Falls’ in them.”

“Google News,” supplied Jenna. I stared at her, blinking.

“Go to Google, click on the button that says ’news’,” instructed Jenna. “It’ll show recent stuff first by default.”

“Right. Thanks. And... sorry for not... it’s just that this is really important.”

I realized I was being stupid – a few minutes wouldn’t have mattered. But I was too anxious to care.

I opened firefox as soon as the desktop appeared, and typed ’google.com’ into the address bar. Sure enough, there was a button that said ’news’ which I had never noticed before. I clicked on it. Following a hunch, I only typed ’Mystic Falls’. If there _was_ a recent death, I probably would find it this way, and the advantage was that I might also find something that wasn’t about a death but was still relevant. After all, Vicki hadn’t died, either.

It turned out that I didn’t even have to scroll far.

Darren Malloy, 24, and Brooke Fenton, 22. Killed by an animal attack on September 5, 2009. Which was two days ago.

**_Crap._ **

I could feel myself about to cry once again.

Then I felt dizzy, as the gravity of the realization sunk in.

 _There were vampires_.

There _actually_ were vampires. At least, it was now more likely than not. I _believed_ there were vampires. I _expected_ there to be vampires.

And I also expected Bonnie to be a witch.

Hands trembling, I wiped my eyes with a sleeve and clicked on the back button to search for similar stories. I didn’t find any. I went back and added ’accident’ into the search bar; I also tried ’animal’. Nothing in the past few months.

This left only two possibilities. Either Stefan was the killer, or whoever it was had arrived along with him.

I closed my eyes, thinking.

A few minutes later, I went downstairs. I found Jenna sitting in the kitchen, holding her head in both hands and generally looking miserable.

“Hi,” I said, “I’m sorry again for ignoring what happened to you, but what I was asking was genuinely more important.” I took a deep breath. Jenna looked at me, and she seemed to realize how serious I was.

“What?”

“I think there are vampires in Mystic Falls.”


	4. Suspicions, #2

“What?” asked Jenna again, but this time in a tone that said, ‘this is a bad joke, and you should stop it’.

“I think there are vampires in Mystic Falls,” I repeated soberly. “I think Stefan is one and I think they killed Brooke Fenton and Darren Malloy, the couple that died two days ago. And I think my prior on vampires existing was something like zero point zero one percent, but I’ve seen enough evidence in the last two days that I now think it’s more likely than not.”

To her credit, Jenna didn’t give any reply indicating that she thought I was joking. She just stared at me.

“Can I tell you everything that’s happened?” I asked, involuntarily whispering. “Then you can form your own opinion.”

“Uhm. Sure,” said Jenna. “Shoot.”

* * *

“... and _after_ all that, I checked whether there’ve been any deaths in Mystic Falls recently. I didn’t remember it or anything. But I was right. Brooke Fenton and Darren Malloy.” I had memorized their names – if Stefan had an interest in me, I might be connected to their deaths. Either way, I would learn the name of every single person that died until I managed to put an end to it. “Think about that,” I added, knowing that most people had a harder time juggling probabilities than I had. “Animal attacks are rare – if I were wrong, that would have been a crazy coincidence.”

I made a pause.

“Well,” I then said, “what do you think?”

Jenna took a while to reply, and when she did, it seemed as if she was choosing her words carefully.

“I don’t think you’re crazy for thinking that... what you’re thinking. But I don’t believe there are vampires.”

“Okay,” I said, “so right now, what probability do you assign to me being right?”

This was advice I had read about – force people to quantify their uncertainty. If they committed to a number, it was harder to make excuses later.

“I don’t know. You want a percentage?”

I nodded.

“Twenty?” Jenna suggested.

“Twenty,” I repeated. “That’s fine. Twenty percent is one in five. That’s a one-in-five chance that somewhere in Mystic Falls, right now, are one more or blood-sucking murderers who have killed Brooke Fenton and Darren Malloy, and will probably kill more people soon. I think that’s more than enough to take it seriously. Especially if one of them is interested in me in particular.”

Jenna nodded. “I agree. But what do you want us to do? Move?”

“I haven’t thought about what to do at all,” I admitted. “Give me a minute.”

“Moving would be crazy,” murmured Jenna. “You’ve both lived in Mystic Falls all of your life. And Jeremy would have no idea why. Unless you wanna tell him-”

“Don’t tell Jeremy. I’ve told you because I know you’re a responsible adult who can think logically. Jeremy is neither of those things, especially not now.”

“I’ve noticed,” said Jenna, her voice dry.

“Maybe we should move,” I said, “but not right now. And not without reason. If we move right now, the same day that Vicki said she was bitten by a vampire – I don’t know if Stefan heard, but we can’t rule it out, especially not if vampires have superhuman hearing or can read minds...” I paused to shudder at the thought. “... they might draw the connection, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they kill anyone who finds out that vampires are real. Although,” I added, “if they can read minds and we _don’t_ move, they’ll also find out.”

“Why would they be able to read minds?”

“I don’t know. But if the universe has magic in it, it means we don’t know _anything._ We can’t just go on with our lives and accept that ‘oh yeah, there’s magic, but everything else is the same’. Everything we thought we knew predicted that there _wouldn’t_ be magic, so if there _is_ magic, all bets are off. We can’t be sure about anything anymore, so we also can’t be sure that there’s no mind-reading.”

Jenna seemed to accept the explanation, probably just trusting that I knew what I was talking about.

“What will happen with Vicki?” she asked next. “If they kill people who know-”

 _“Fuck!”_ I could practically feel myself turn pale. “Vicki. I forgot – I’m such a – hold on.” I ran upstairs to grab my phone. On the way, I noticed that my eyes were tearing up once again. More annoyed than saddened, I inelegantly washed them away with my hands, grabbed my phone and ran back down, pressing the buttons to call Matt on the way.

He didn’t take long to pick up. “Elena?”

“Matt, did you talk to Vicki again since we’ve last spoken?” I realized too late that my asking out of the blue ran counter-productive to the goal of not raising suspicion. “I’m just worried about her,” I added. “I didn’t get to visit myself. Is she okay?”

“Yeah, she’s fine. Relax, Elena.” (I could tell that he could tell I’d been crying, but that wouldn’t matter – it was too common for me to be suspicious.) “She woke up again like half an hour ago. I’m still at the hospital.”

“Oh. That’s... good.”

“She says an animal attacked her,” Matt supplied, even though I hadn’t asked. “I guess she was just fantasizing earlier.”

“Yeah. Well – tell her I said hi and that I wish her a... speedy recovery.”

“Will do. You okay?”

I felt the familiar stitch of annoyance at the question.

“Hanging in there. See you, then.”

“Yeah, see you tomorrow.”

I hung up.

“And?” asked Jenna immediately.

“She’s fine. And she now says it was an animal, not a vampire.”

“Does that make you less worried?”

“I’m not sure. I need to think. Actually, let me get my diary.”

I ran upstairs once again, fetched the book, and came back. Once there, I wrote ‘Theories about Vicki’ and underlined it.

“Let’s brainstorm,” I said. “One, vampires aren’t real, she was delirious, now she’s better.”

“Okay,” said Jenna, “two. She thought the same thing we did and realized she shouldn’t tell anyone.”

“I doubt it,” I murmured, but I still wrote it down below my own idea. “She’s not the type of person who would think logically about it. But anyway – three, she doesn’t remember anymore. Who knows what happens with your head when you almost bleed to death. She just said it’s an animal because that’s the obvious thing to say.”

“Four,” Jenna supplied, “the same vampire came by and made her forget. If there’s mind-reading, why not mind-manipulation?”

I wrote it down.

“We have _no idea_ what powers they have,” I murmured in agreement. “Do you believe in them now?”

“No,” said Jenna, “not really. But I’m taking it seriously.”

“Thanks,” I said appreciatively. “Okay – assuming we keep going about our lives – what happens if another person ends up dead? Today or in a few days? Another supposed animal attack? Will that be enough to convince you?”

“I... don’t know.”

“Think about it,” I urged. “If there are no vampires, what’s the odds of someone _else_ dying in Mystic Falls this week? It’s tiny. If you’re at one in five now and someone dies, you have to believe it. I mean literally. You _have_ to. It’s a probability thing. I can explain it to you some time if you want.”

“Unless it’s a ninety year old guy who dies in a hospital.”

“Right. Old age doesn’t count.”

“Fine,” said Jenna, “if another person turns up dead this week, I’ll accept that there are vampires.”

“And you can’t make excuses when it happens,” I added. “Who knows how they hide their tracks. It still counts if it’s a car crash or something.”

“Fine.”

I nodded, satisfied.

“Alright,” I said, “so what do we do now?”

* * *

Unfortunately, neither of us had come up with much in the way of useful precautions. Going to the authorities was out of the question, training in self-defense was almost certainly futile, and we had already decided not to move. The best advice came from Jenna: ‘don’t be out alone, especially not if it’s late and oh god I’m never gonna get Jeremy to listen to that’.

The critical thing would be not to raise suspicion. And so, I did my best to calm down, and the coming day, I drove to school with Bonnie, just as I always did.

* * *

“World-War II ended in...?” Mr. Tanner asked. “Anyone?”

I raised my hand. I was of the opinion that memorizing dates was, for the most part, utterly pointless, but this was one of the few cases where I was willing to make an exception.

“Miss. Gilbert?”

“1945.”

“Correct. Pearl Harbor? Anyone?”

I looked around, seeing no raised hands. I certainly didn’t know the answer. Instinctively, I threw a look at Stefan. Seeing how good he was with dates would be relevant information given that vampire-Stefan (who might be several hundred years old) would likely have an advantage, especially if vampires had perfect recall.

He noticed my look and raised his hand.

“Mr. Salvatore?”

“December 7th, 1941.”

A felt a shiver run down my spine. I didn’t think I would bother learning _exact dates_ even if I was a thousand years old. Perfect recall now seemed like a plausible theory.

* * *

After class, Stefan took the opportunity he had passed on yesterday and asked if I’d watch the upcoming comet with him. (Some celestial object that was only visible every thousand years or something.) I said yes, reasoning that this was what I’d have done ordinarily, and the best way not to raise suspicion would be to act as I usually would. But I regretted it almost immediately. Going on another date with a possible vampire seemed fairly reckless, and it wouldn’t exactly have been a stretch to make up an excuse.

Then again, being an active love interest might be safer than being a failed love interest.

* * *

“You understand this, right?” asked Matt during math, where he sat beside me. Unlike many of her colleagues, our math teacher encouraged students to ask their neighbors for help, as long as it was, in fact, about the subject matter.

“Sure,” I said. We were doing integrals, which I had about as much of a problem with as with any other subject (which was to say, none). “What’s the issue?”

“I know how to take the integral,” Matt said, “but this isn’t correct, is it?” He showed me his notes.

“We have to calculate the area between the graph and the x-axis,” I said, having identified his mistake immediately, “and this function is partially below the graph. So if you calculate the integral from minus five to three, you subtract this area from this,” I pointed at the parts below and above the graph, “instead of adding them. So what you need to do-”

“-compute the root first and then do two integrals?”

“Yeah, exactly.”

“Got it. Thanks.”

“Your antiderivative is right, though,” I added.

I turned back to my notes, finishing the calculation, then looked back at Matt’s. He was still writing. I kept watching until he was finished, at which point most of the class was still at it. His result didn’t match mine, which probably meant it was wrong. But, rather than pointing it out, I leaned over and whispered, “so what do you think about Stefan?”

Matt’s face seemed to tense a bit at the question. He and I had never dated, but he had expressed interest at some point, and I had told him honestly (and in as nice of a way as I had managed) that I didn’t have any romantic feelings toward him. He had never complained, but I knew it had bothered him. It was possible that it still did.

“He seems nice, I guess. Is there something between you two?”

“The beginning of something, maybe. I’m not sure how I feel about him.” Evasive but entirely true. “We’re not together yet.”

“He seems to be good at everything,” Matt murmured. Then, “I saw him at the hospital yesterday.”

I tried my best not to show my reaction. “Was he visiting someone?”

“I don’t know. I guess. I only saw him briefly.”

I decided against inquiring more. “Vicki’s fine?” I asked instead, even though he had already answered this on the phone.

“Yeah, she’s gonna be okay. You know, when I was there yesterday, she suddenly was out of bed and was screaming. I ran out and got a nurse to look at her, but when we were back, she was asleep again. It was weird.”

I couldn’t suppress a frown at that. This was almost _too_ easy. Confirming evidence was not supposed to be that readily available. The only way it could get better was if he had seen Stefan walk away upon his return to Vicki’s room. I considered asking but decided not to – this had already been more informative than I had hoped.

* * *

“I, uhm, I’m sorry if this is inappropriate,” said Stefan as we met to watch the comet. “I know we’re not really a thing... yet. Actually, I don’t... really know what we are...”

“Dating,” I supplied, “we’re dating.”

“Right. Well, in that case, I know this is a bit early for our second date, but...”

It was getting progressively harder to imagine him being a serial killer.

“I probably won’t be offended,” I encouraged him.

He gave a single nod, then pulled something out of his pocket. “I’ve had this for a long time, and I’ve never wanted to give it to anyone... until now.”

It was a tiny wooden box. I opened it to uncover a silver necklace.

“I’d very much like it if you’d wear it... for me. For... good luck.”

“I love it,” I said. I looked up to meet his eyes. “Thank you, Stefan.” I pulled back my hair and handed Stefan both ends of the chain so he could tie them together behind my neck.

Of course, I didn’t buy for a second that it was for ‘good luck’. An old, elegant but somewhat strange-looking necklace that Stefan was eager to give to me now, despite it seeming odd given where our relationship was at...

... a pendant that just happened to be _silver_ and from which I even noticed a peculiar but pleasant smell...

It might as well have ‘magical artifact’ written all over it.

And I genuinely loved it. I liked jewelry, I had always preferred silver over gold, and I liked the uniqueness and style of this particular piece.

I looked up again once he was done, and I realized that, if I were to follow my instinct, I would lean forward right now to kiss him. I liked Stefan more with every interaction we had; I liked his levelheadedness, his kindness, his measured way of speaking...

... and I _really_ loved this gift...

But I suppressed it. For all I knew, the necklace would turn me into a vampire. I had strong reason to believe it had some magical purpose, but not that this purpose was to protect me. There were all sorts of things a magic item could do to me that would be in Stefan’s interest but not in mine. More importantly, I probably had nothing to gain from taking our relationship to the next level – well, except for the obvious.

Thinking more about this, I realized it was entirely possible that _kissing_ him would turn me into a vampire. There was no guarantee whatsoever that it had to include bites. It wasn’t even _implausible_ – if there was some substance he had to transmit, kissing might do the trick.

“I love it,” I repeated instead. “If you ever want to give me something again, now you know my taste because you’ve hit it perfectly.”

“I’m glad,” he said, and we hugged. It had happened too spontaneously for me to think it over, but I was okay with it. Hugging should be safe.

“Bonnie says the comet is a harbinger of evil,” I said casually, though it wasn’t lost on me that, given what had happened, virtually anything that came out of Bonnie’s mouth now had some chance of being true.

“I think it’s just a... ball of snow and ice, trapped on a path that it can’t escape. And once every 145 years, it gets to come home...”

* * *

“Two campers have been found dead,” said Jenna, the moment I closed our front door behind me, “it was on TV a few hours ago.”

Predictably, this message caused me to cry, even though I wasn’t the least bit surprised.

_Two more people dead._

“Is Jeremy...?”

“He’s not home.”

“Well,” I said in a tear-strained voice, “those aren’t the deaths we’ve agreed on. I’ve already told you that there are missing campers. It only counts if... there’s someone else.”

“I know. But I was hoping they would turn up again.”

“I’m not surprised,” I murmured, drying my eyes with a sleeve. “But it’s still horrible.”

“What’s that?” Jenna asked.

“Oh. Right. That. Stefan gave it to me.”

Jenna took a step closer. “Can I?”

I nodded, and Jenna took the pendant between her fingers.

“Do you think-”

“Definitely. _Definitely_ magical.”

“Right.” She brought the pendant to her nose. “It smells so nice.”

“It’s probably the mystical blood flower. Wear it for ten days around your neck, and you turn into a vampire.”

Jenna looked at me.

“I’m partially joking,” I said. “But it’s probably not a good idea to take it off? If it’s meant to protect me, it’s a bad idea, and if he notices, it’s also a bad idea. And Jenna, I don’t think Stefan is behind the murders.”

“Why?”

I told her everything I had learned from Matt. “It seems like you were right and he went there to make Vicki forget – but we know he didn’t kill her, so he’s-”

“-covering for his uncle?”

“Well, yes. But what’s he supposed to do? It’s either that or killing her, and he chose not to kill her. That’s good, isn’t it?”

“I guess.”

Jenna sighed. Then she buried her head in her hands.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I’m sorry. It’s just... with Jeremy... and now this...”

This wasn’t a situation I commonly found myself in – usually, it was always me who didn’t have her emotions under control.

“Let’s sit down somewhere,” I said, gently guiding her into her room. _Better go upstairs_ , I thought, _in case Jeremy comes home_. We sat down at the edge of her bed.

Apparently, Mr. Tanner’s treatment had gotten to her more than I’d realized – and I hadn’t been the least bit helpful.

“I’m sorry for putting this on you,” I said. “And I’ll talk to Jeremy today. I promise.”

Jenna nodded, still hiding her head behind her hands. I figured that being in this situation might be more unpleasant for her than it was for me, given how she usually kept her cool. In fact, this was the first time I’d ever seen her cry.

I put an arm around her shoulder, trying to be comforting.

“I’m scared,” whispered Jenna. “Why aren’t you...”

“I am scared,” I said. But now that I thought about it, I realized that Jenna had a point: given my relationship to danger, it was strange that I held up as well as I did.

“I guess it’s just hard to be afraid of Stefan. He’s so nice.”

That made Jenna free her head to look at me.

“You’re not falling for him, are you?”

I thought about it.

“Not yet, but I think it’s going there.”

_“Elena!”_

“I can’t choose how I feel,” I pointed out. “I can only choose what I do. Do you think I should do anything differently?”

“... no,” said Jenna after a while. “If you reject him, that could be worse. Do you think it’s something supernatural? Your feelings for him?”

I thought about this, too.

“No,” I decided. “He has the type of personality that I’m drawn to in guys. Very calm. Steady. _Very_ easy to talk to. Smart and genuinely humble. If he’s putting on a character, he’s very _,_ _very_ good at it. And if he were manipulating my feelings directly, I’d expect to feel even more by now.”

“Okay,” said Jenna, “I believe you. But don’t invite him over for dinner.”

* * *

Jeremy came home over two hours later, and I lost no time fulfilling my promise to Jenna. I hadn’t said anything to him so far, and I generally wasn’t one to meddle in other people’s affairs, which I knew would give my words a weight that hers didn’t have. I tried to capitalize on that advantage by coming down as hard on him as I could, closing the door for discussion outright. I had decided to focus on his skipping classes, in part because it seemed like a more realistic goal, but mostly because that was the part which would cause Jenna trouble going forward.

He promised to attend classes from now on, and I expected him to keep his word, at least for a while.

* * *

The coming day (a Thursday) felt almost normal. Even though I knew that the current state of things – that was, me pretending not to suspect anything about vampires while deepening my relationship to Stefan and waiting for more people to turn up dead – couldn’t possibly be permanent, I seemed to have gotten used to it. I was less nervous during class, and barely nervous at all when talking to Stefan.

After school, he and I hung out near the football field where the school’s team (headed by Mr. Tanner) was playing. It was, of course, an all-male team; the girls were occupied performing what was probably the strangest practice the western world had ever come up with, also known as cheerleading.

We were in the midst of a conversation about our french teacher when a car pulled up right next to the cheerleading grounds. Initially, I only paid attention to it because it was playing loud music, but that changed when I recognized Caroline. She and the driver, both wearing sunglasses, exchanged a brief kiss before she stepped out.

“Caroline’s got a boyfriend,” I murmured. I walked over to greet her, expecting Stefan to follow.

“Hi, Caroline.”

“Elena! Hi...”

The guy in the car now stepped out and took off his sunglasses. He was exceptionally handsome.

“Elena?” He asked, and I nodded. “Pleased to meet you.” He reached for my hand and gave it a kiss.

“I’m Damon Salvatore. Stefan’s brother.”

My heart skipped a beat. Involuntarily, I noticed that Caroline was wearing a scarf.


	5. Damon, #1

“Pleased to meet you,” I said, realizing with some relief that my tone sounded normal. “I’m happy for you and Caroline.”

For once, the voice in my head that usually urged me toward honesty remained utterly silent. If there had ever been a moment when lying was necessary, this was it. There was a good chance, perhaps better than even, that this person was the murderer of Brooke Fenton, Darren Malloy, Marine Brown, and Robert Walsh.

“Thanks,” said Damon, and even in this single word, the touch of cocky irony was undeniable. “I am happy for you and Stefan. I wasn’t sure he’d ever get over his last,” he added in a murmur, as if to make sure his brother didn’t hear him.

Stefan stepped beside me. My gaze flickered toward his face. He did not look happy.

“Damon.”

“Hello, little brother. Well, Elena. Caroline. Ladies.” A few other girls had joined the spectacle, but Damon didn’t seem the slightest bit uncomfortable. He simply got back into his car and drove off.

He was the opposite of Stefan. This brief interaction had been enough to demonstrate that. Stefan was someone with a readily apparent commitment to treating people respectfully; Damon had violated this principle immediately by mentioning his brothers’ ex, presumably to sabotage our relationship. Stefan had this seriousness to him that was reflected in every interaction we’ve had, while Damon... he was what I imagined someone who thought life was a game to be like.

“Can we...” Stefan asked, gesturing in the direction of the football field. I nodded and followed him away from the others.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I had a brother,” said Stefan. “We’re not close.”

“There was no reason for you to tell me,” I replied numbly, “I didn’t ask.”

I shuddered. _Caroline was wearing a scarf._ It made no sense for her to be wearing a scarf. It didn’t even look good on her. I wouldn’t have hesitated to bet all the money I owned at even odds that the scarf was hiding something. Probably vampire bites.

If I didn’t do something, and do it _soon_ , Caroline might either turn or join the list of dead people. If she hadn’t turned already. I repeated it in my head: _Brooke Fenton, Darren Malloy, Marine Brown, Robert Walsh, and Caroline Forbes_. I could only hope that the lack of a stronger reaction from Stefan meant that bites alone were not enough to turn someone. There was no way he hadn’t seen the scarf or didn’t know what it meant.

I looked at him, and at that moment, I realized that I had already decided to trust him. To trust that he was a good person, even though he hadn’t stopped the murders from taking place. That my necklace, whatever it did, was there to protect me. Perhaps to protect me from Damon.

“Do you have other living relatives?”

“An uncle. I live with him. No-one else.”

 _And is the uncle on your side,_ I thought, _or on Damon’s?_

“I don’t like Damon,” I said. I was playing a risky game, but I had to find out whether or not Stefan would be willing to stand up to him. “Everything about him is off-putting. He’s not like you at all.”

Our eyes met. This was the second time I had the urge to kiss him. I resisted.

“You’re right. We’re not similar. Damon is... troubled.” He looked at me, seeming worried. He probably noticed that my heart was pounding – enhanced hearing would do the trick. I couldn’t even be upset at myself over this fact; I had literally just met what was probably a serial killer. I had every right to be scared. It was a small miracle that my eyes were still dry.

“Are you alright?”

“Damon frightens me,” I said. _Stay as close to the truth as possible._ “But yeah, I’m fine.”

“Frightens you?” Stefan echoed, and my heart sank. I was revealing too much. It was _unusual_ to be frightened by someone with whom I had interacted for less than a minute, a time during which he had done nothing overtly threatening.

On the other hand, merely feigning ignorance was no longer a viable long-term strategy. It probably never had been. My only realistic option to stop Damon was through Stefan...

 _Great plan,_ my brain supplied, _really, awesome plan. Make him choose between the brother he might have known for a thousand years and the girl he met three days ago. What could go wrong?_

But what else could I do?

 _In my defense,_ I thought, _Stefan has always acted as if he likes me, if not loves me._ And it didn’t seem as if he liked Damon. It wasn’t something I was comfortable gambling on, but what else could I do?

“He does. I know he was polite, but it seemed fake.” I made a pause but decided to go even further. “I’m worried about Caroline.”

Stefan put his hands on both of my shoulders, and his eyes met mine.

“Caroline will be fine. I’ll make sure of it. I promise.”

Well, wasn’t this progress?

I nodded. “Thanks.”

His hand moved down as if to take mine, but he hesitated. “Can I?”

I nodded again, and he took it. His touch was warm, and his skin seemed no harder than that of anyone else. That part of the legends couldn’t be true, then.

“We should exchange contact information,” I murmured. At this point, the ability to call him would be a definite plus. I got his number and gave him mine.

And now that I had decided to trust him...

... I might as well go all the way.

“There’s the founders’ party on Sunday this weekend. My family is always invited. Would you like to be my date?”

He paused to look at me.

“I would be honored... Miss. Gilbert.” He lifted my hand, which he was still holding, and briefly touched it with his lips. It was the same gesture that Damon had given just minutes ago, but this time, there wasn’t a touch of irony in it. It made me feel as though he really did consider it a privilege to accompany me.

“Before that,” he then said, “there’s the baseball game tomorrow. Are you going to be there?”

I thought about it. On the one hand, it seemed stupid – it was going to be darker and, therefore, easier to make people disappear without being seen. Unlike with the ball, it also wouldn’t seem strange if I didn’t go. But on the other hand, Caroline was virtually guaranteed to be there...

I valued my own life much higher than that of Caroline (or, for that matter, that of anyone else). But Caroline was likely to be in immediate danger, and I wasn’t. It would be at least a minor betrayal not to be there and look out for her.

“Only if you come with me.”

* * *

I brought Jenna up to speed as soon as I got home. She took the news about as hard as I had; perhaps, she had still held some hope that things would have a non-vampire explanation. If so, Caroline wearing a scarf appeared to be the final nail in the coffin.

“Before you told me this,” murmured Jenna, “I still thought you had to be wrong. I’ve asked around a bit, and it turns out that Stefan’s uncle, he’s called Zachary, has lived in that house for a long time, and people would have noticed if he hadn’t gotten any older I don’t think he’s a vampire. But-”

“I should have realized the house wouldn’t have stood empty,” I threw in, realizing how big of an oversight it had been. “That was stupid.”

“Yeah,” Jenna said, “exactly. But now that we got this Damon guy instead-”

“-we have another plausible killer,” I finished for her. “By the way, though,” I added, “we don't know that vampires don’t age. It’s a consistent part of the legends, but that doesn’t mean it’s true.”

“I guess. Do you think Stefan can do something about him?”

I bit my lip. I wanted to say yes, but I couldn’t.

“I don’t know...”

I realized that I wouldn’t be able to keep myself together for much longer. Meeting Damon had not been good for my mental stability.

“Imagine how many people he’s killed,” I murmured darkly. “Brooke Fenton, Darren Malloy, Marine Brown, Robert Walsh – that’s the body count _since Sunday_. Four murders in five days. If he’s a thousand years old... it’s _grotesque_.”

“You’ve read Twilight, didn’t you?” Jenna asked. I nodded. “All the vampires there taking killing so lightly. You turn into a vampire, you become a mass murderer. Maybe it’s really like that. Maybe we’re to them as... I don’t know, dogs are to us.”

“Maybe in terms of strength. Not in terms of intelligence, which is what matters.”

“Yeah, they would be _wrong_ – but maybe that’s how they think.”

I nodded. Jenna could well be right – perhaps that was how Damon viewed humans.

I thought back to him, to the five people he had presumably killed and to our encounter. Then, unable to keep it in any longer, I began crying. Jenna didn’t say anything, she just opened her arms. I leaned against her and wept.

* * *

I was too early for the game – Stefan wasn’t here yet. I figured staying near the stadium would make it more likely to run into people I’d rather avoid, so I distanced myself, taking a stroll into the direction of the parking places.

That turned out to be a mistake.

“Hello, Elena.”

I recognized the voice immediately, and the fear didn’t wait to come along. It was _cold,_ like ice. But I knew I had to manage a normal reaction, and I had no time to collect myself.

I turned around.

“Damon. What are you doing here?”

“I’m hiding from Caroline,” he said in an over-acted whisper.

“Why?”

“I needed a break. She talks more than I can listen.”

 _Screw you,_ I thought.

“That probably means she likes you.”

“Well, she’s... she’s awfully young.”

“You’re not that much older,” I said lamely, having failed to come up with a better response in time.

“I don’t see it going anywhere in the bigger picture. I think she’d drive me crazy.”

“Caroline does have some annoying traits,” I agreed. Frantically, I tried to decide what role to play. Would it put me in more or less danger if I seemed overly agreeable? It would probably make me less interesting...

I decided that this was a good thing. Stefan liking me should be enough to prevent him from killing me just for fun. So better if he thought I was boring.

“Hm,” he made. “Has Stefan told you about why we don’t get along? I’m sure you noticed.”

“I didn’t,” I lied, then regretted it instantly. I if played _too_ dumb, he’d notice it.

“He probably didn’t tell you because he didn’t want you to think he was on the rebound,” said Damon, ignoring my answer entirely. “It’s about his ex, Katherine. Who’s also my ex. It’s... complicated.”

Hearing this made me feel a little safer. Perhaps he would be satisfied with reminding me of Stefan’s ex to somehow poison our relationship. I hoped that was all it was.

“What was she like?”

“She was... arrogant. Very Manipulative. Not like you at all, I’m sure. And they were together for a while, but...”

‘Then she went for me’ was probably the implication.

“Then what?”

Perhaps it was my imagination (especially since the place was bathed in twilight and it was hard to see clearly), but he seemed disappointed.

And then,

I panicked.

There was no rationality behind it. The reasons for wanting to appear uninteresting still applied. But I couldn’t help it. For a moment, after I saw his reaction, I was convinced that I was about to die. That he was about to kill me, right here, simply because I had disappointed him, because I was boring.

“I won’t do the same.”

 _IDIOT,_ I screamed at myself just a moment later. _There was no reason to change plans!_

“Won’t do what?”

“You know what. I’m not Katherine.”

I could no longer interpret the expression on his face, but whatever it was, it wasn’t boredom.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” I said, “I’m sure.”

“You’re wrong. I’ve seen the way you react to me, Elena. You get flustered whenever I’m there. You want me.”

Had he really mistaken my fear for _desire_?

“I don’t.”

“Yes, you do.” He looked into my eyes. “And right now, you want to kiss me.”

It took me about a second to draw the connection. He _expected_ this to work, and even he was unlikely to be arrogant enough to attribute it purely to his masculine charm...

... but it didn’t work on me. Most likely because of the necklace. If true, its purpose had really been to protect me, to protect me from this person who was just about to kiss me.

All of that went through my head in a matter of seconds, leaving me little time to consider my reaction. Kissing him would hide the fact that I was wearing the necklace, _but if Stefan heard he would know I had done it freely and might consider it a betrayal-_

I took a step back, just before his lips reached mine.

“Nope,” I said, “sorry. I am attracted to you,” I added, “but not enough to betray Stefan.”

Why I had included the lie, I had no idea. It was _hard_ to be calculating during a conversation. I just didn’t have enough time.

He seemed taken aback.

“I see,” he said. “Well, I’m sorry for making you feel uncomfortable. I guess I better go check on Caroline.”

He left.

 _You’re not safe yet,_ another voice in my head reminded me. _We have no idea how good vampires see or hear or even smell._

I waited on the spot, barely moving a muscle.

Eventually, I realized that Stefan wouldn’t find me here.

I returned to the stadium, where I saw him waiting for me.

“Elena,” he said as I approached, “are you okay?”

Of course, he would notice how pale I looked.

I shook my head. I almost expected him to comfort me like Jenna had, but realized that the most intimate thing we’d done so far was to hold hands (and to exchange a brief hug after he’d given me the gift), and he wouldn’t consider it appropriate unless I made the first move.

So I did. I stepped closer, leaning toward him, and he took me between his arms.

“Damon,” I whispered, quietly sobbing.

His grip tightened. Now I regretted that I couldn’t see his face.

“What did he do?”

“He just showed up. I’m fine – he didn’t hurt me. He’s just really scary.” _And you should deal with it,_ I thought but didn’t say.

But if I was going to gamble on Stefan turning on Damon to protect me, I might be able to use what had happened to my advantage.

“He tried to kiss me.”

His grip tightened even more, but he didn’t say anything. Didn’t ask for details. It was almost uncanny, the way he always avoided saying things that would make me uncomfortable.

We remained in this position for at least a minute, until his voice broke the spell.

“We should go to our seats.”

I had forgotten about the game entirely.

I drew back. “Sorry,” I murmured. When we turned to the stadium, I could see Bonnie waving, and there were still a couple of seats free beside her.

“You’re okay, Elena?” she asked as we approached.

I figured I was still rather pale.

“I’ll be fine.”

I was not looking forward to the game. I didn’t particularly care about football to begin with, and I certainly didn’t care about it now.

And Caroline wasn’t here. My main motive for coming had been to make sure she was okay.

“Where’s Caroline?”

“She said she was looking for Damon,” replied Bonnie.

I threw a look at Stefan. He caught my gaze and seemed to guess what I was thinking, even though I wasn’t at all sure at all that I wanted him to go and look.

 _No,_ I corrected myself, _he should go._ I was surrounded by other people. I wasn’t in danger right now. Caroline was.

“I... have to do something,” Stefan announced and got up from his seat. “Excuse me.”

I realized, too late, that we should have tried calling her first.

“Are you two...?” asked Bonnie once he was gone.

“We’re fine,” I said, “it’s not about that. I think he’s looking for Caroline.”

“Alright,” said Bonnie. Then, “but are you two, like...”

“We haven’t kissed yet,” I said, “but maybe we will, soon. I like him.” I didn’t see any reason to lie about that.

The game started.

Mr. Tanner’s team was demonstrably weaker and got outplayed, hard.

I could not possibly have cared less.

This was bad. The situation I was in, was bad. Damon was virtually guaranteed to be a vampire, very likely to be a killer, and he was dating one of my two best friends. My only hope was that Stefan cared enough about me to stand up to his brother, even though he’d known me for less than a week. And me? I was physically weak, an emotional wreck, and, above all, human. I was completely and utterly defenseless.

My only advantage was that I wasn’t stupid. I might be able to – no, _had_ to make more out of what I had than Damon. But right now, I just had so little.

I tried to break the train of thought and instead focused on fighting back the tears. It would look odd if I didn’t get myself back under control.

“I need to go,” said Bonnie suddenly, “ladies’ room.”

“Oh,” I made. I didn’t like the idea of her leaving, but I had no idea how to communicate that – what justification could I possibly have to object to her going to the bathroom? So I stood up and let her pass.

The game continued.

A couple of minutes passed. Bonnie didn’t return.

Well, Damon would hardly have killed her on the way to the bathroom. I did my best to ignore the knot in my chest and resorted to closing my eyes. That immediately made it worse, so I opened them again, watching the game with a hollow gaze. Bonnie would, most likely, be back any moment now.

But more minutes passed, and she still hadn’t returned. And neither had Stefan.

A sense of despair gradually crept up in my chest.

I fished my phone out of my pocket, calling Bonnie. She didn’t pick up. I called Stefan. He didn’t pick up, either.

The feeling got worse. _Much_ worse.

I called Caroline. She picked up almost immediately.

“Elena? What’s going on?”

“Where are you?”

“At the game?”

This piece of good news did little to make the feeling diminish. And it was too dark to locate Caroline among so many people.

“Don’t leave the stadium. Stay where you are until the game is over. Then get home as quickly as you can.”  
  
“What the hell?”

“ _Do it_ ,” I urged. To hell with staying low – no, I couldn’t think that. I still had to be smart, even now. I shouldn’t tell her what I was afraid of. It wouldn’t help at all. She might even go out and look for Bonnie.

“Why?”  
  
I hung up. I didn’t know what else to do. Caroline knew me well enough to know how serious I’d been. That probably meant she would take the advice. Probably.

My phone rang; Caroline was trying to call me back.

I didn’t accept. Instead, I called both Stefan and Bonnie again. Nothing.

More minutes passed, and I had no idea what else to do.

More time passed.

I had tried calling them numerous times, always to the same end.

More time passed.

And more.

I gripped the edges of my seat as hard as I could. I would _not_ go out there. It was _completely_ out of the question that I went out there. If Bonnie died, I could live with it. That was the truth. _I_ needed to survive. _Me._ Not anyone else. Not Caroline, not Stefan, not Bonnie. I was so afraid of death that there weren’t words for it; it dwarfed everything else. It had been that way ever since I had understood the concept. My fear of death was absolute. If I went out there, I might die; therefore I wouldn’t; and that was the end of it.

I stayed put.

All throughout the game.

Bonnie never returned nor answered her phone, and neither did Stefan.

When the game was over, I stayed close to other people for as long as I could manage. When there was no-one else going into my direction, I ran. I kept running until I was home.

I walked upstairs into Jenna’s room. I closed the door behind me.

“Elena?” She whispered. “What happened?”

I sobbed. Then I ran toward her, throwing myself into her embrace.

I wanted to tell her, but I couldn’t. I could formulate the thought, but couldn’t speak it; couldn’t fight down the sobs long enough for words to come out.

“What happened, Elena? Tell me.”

I squeezed my eyes shut and focused on my breathing, until I finally managed to speak.

“I think Bonnie is dead.”


	6. Damon, #2

I woke up with fragments of a nightmare still in my head and the distinct feeling that something was different, something that wasn’t part of a dream. It took me a few seconds to realize that someone was sitting on the edge of my bed.

I opened my eyes and saw Jenna. One look at her face was all it took for me to know what had happened.

“Thank you,” I whispered, “for being here.”

I could feel the first teardrop falling onto my cheek.

* * *

Bonnie’s death had made bigger news than the ones before her since it had taken place so close to a stadium full of people. Even so, it was sold as yet another animal attack.

* * *

Caroline left several messages, asking me to explain my behavior and demanding to talk to me. I didn’t respond. When she called, I didn’t pick up.

Stefan called a bit later, apologizing for his absence on the previous day. He said something about having gotten into a fight with Damon, and I didn’t probe for more. He wouldn’t tell me the truth, and there was no point forcing him to come up with more lies.

I told him that it was okay and that he should still protect Caroline. His response was to assure me that he would, along with a cryptic comment that he would, quote, ‘deal with Damon’.

I wondered if he actually had a plan.

* * *

It was strange – I wasn’t angry at Damon. When I thought about him, I felt only fear. I remembered that yesterday had been similar: I’d been angry while he was there, but as soon as he had left, I had accepted his existence as mere fact. Perhaps my brain didn’t ascribe full agency to him, almost as if he really were a dangerous animal.

I also wasn’t angry at Stefan. I didn’t know if anger was warranted or not; I had no idea what he had done or tried to do, and what string of events had lead to Bonnie’s death.

The only person worthy of anger was me.

* * *

_Brooke Fenton, Darren Malloy, Marine Brown, Robert Walsh, and Bonnie Bennett._ I would remember their names, along with every other name Damon put on the list.

* * *

_Dear Diary,_

_here are all the ways in which I have failed to prevent Bonnie’s death:_

_1\. Didn’t prevent her from leaving (she would have listened to me even without a reason)_

_2\. Came too early to meet with Stefan. Could’ve been on time and Damon wouldn’t have been able to talk to me_

_3\. Didn’t think of calling Caroline before Stefan left_

_4\. Didn’t call after Stefan left, even though I’d thought of it  
_

_5\. Didn’t even call right after Bonnie left_

_6\. Didn’t prepare enough_

I stared at the list. I was angrier about the fourth and fifth points than I was about the third. It hadn’t occurred to me to call Caroline until Stefan was gone. Fine. But once he had left, I had remembered almost immediately. Why hadn’t I called her then?

I closed my eyes. Now that I thought about it, I had a hunch of what the answer was. If I had called right after Stefan had left...

... it would’ve made me look stupid. He left, and I called him right back. How _silly_.

But if I had called him back, he might have made an excuse to leave along with Bonnie or prevented her from leaving in the first place.

Instead, I had let Bonnie die. What a fascinating glimpse into my true preferences.

It wasn’t unusual, of course – most people were more concerned about not seeming weird than they were about saving lives, including their own. But I was supposed to be _better_ than that. I was supposed to do the right thing, no matter what.

I was supposed to make the most out of what I had.

And I had failed.

* * *

The last point was the worst. There were so many other things I could have done.

And there were things I could _still_ do.

My gaze dropped down to my diary. All of my secrets were written in these things. And they were still there when I left this room. My attempt at hiding them was a joke; anyone with two brain cells to rub together could just go into my room and read them. Jeremy could do it. Damon could do it. If mind control was possible, Damon could force Jeremy to do it. I couldn’t even be sure that it hadn’t already happened. Damon had shown an interest in me, for whatever reason. It was utter stupidity not to take precautions.

And if I was going to do better, I might as well start now.

There was no reason to make it complicated – I was living in the twenty-first century. Humanity had already created a device that did exactly what I wanted; it was called a safe. And it was trivial to get one. I just had to get up and do it.

So I did. I went down to ask Jenna where I could buy one, and she ended up coming with me. Half an hour later, I carried the thing back into my room.

It was a fairly small model, just large enough to put my notebooks inside. Its lock was electronic and guarded by a twelve-digit number. Since I’d foreseen difficulties memorizing twelve digits (and writing them down would have defeated the point), I had thought of a way to encrypt the number: I would choose a code word, then shift the first digit based on the first letter of the word, the second digit based on the second letter, and so on. An ’A’ would mean a shift of one, a ’B’ a shift of two, and so forth; if a digit wrapped around ten, I would start back at zero. I wrote the encrypted number onto a piece of paper, then put it at the same spot my diaries had been before – it would be easy to find, but only I would know what it meant. Once that was done, I grabbed a lighter and burned the page of the instruction manual that had contained the original number.

Its first digit had been a seven. The first digit of the encrypted number was a nine. It was fortunate that ’Bonnie Bennett’ had enough letters for all twelve digits.

* * *

I googled (I didn’t need Jenna to give me the hint this time) for ways to find out whether someone had entered my room. Ten minutes later, I attached a small piece of paper in between the door and the frame; if someone opened it, it would fall down, and I would see it when I returned. To outsmart this contraption, an intruder would have to notice the piece _before_ opening the door; if they only noticed it afterward, they might be able to put it back, but wouldn’t know what exact height it had been at.

Now I just had to remember to put it back at the same spot every time and tell Jenna to do the same.

* * *

“Don’t do stupid things out of social awkwardness,” I wrote onto another sheet of paper. “Don’t do stupid things out of social awkwardness. Don’t do stupid things out of social awkwardness. Don’t do stupid things out of social awkwardness. Don’t do stupid things out of social awkwardness. Don’t do stupid things out of social awkwardness.” I wrote it a total of one-hundred times. Then I took all three sheets, crumpled them into a ball, and tossed it into the trash.

* * *

I was going to suspect the supernatural everywhere going forward. Vampires were real. Witches were real. Magical artifacts were real. There was probably more supernatural stuff that was also real. Every decision I would make, everything someone told me, I would think about under this lens. If there was any chance that magic was behind it, I would take it into account.

* * *

I tried to remember everything Stefan had ever told me. Perhaps there had been hidden meanings behind his words. I came up empty.

* * *

I texted Caroline a lie, claiming that it had just been a feeling. I couldn’t come up with a better excuse, and what was the worst that could happen?

* * *

At some point, I lost the conviction to act. I lay down on my bed, staring onto the ceiling.

Every couple of minutes, I remembered that Bonnie was dead and felt a sharp stitch of pain in my stomach. Then,, I tried to think of something else.

* * *

My phone rang. It was Stefan, again.

I took the call.

Miraculously, he didn’t ask me whether I was okay. Instead, he inquired into my opinion on his behavior, probably trying to figure out whether he was still on good terms with me. I did my best to assure him that he was – if wouldn’t be helpful at all if Stefan thought I was angry at him. The plan was to draw him closer, not to push him away.

Then, he told me that Damon would take Caroline to the founders’ party tomorrow and asked whether I still wanted to go. I wasn’t in the mood, but the fact that nothing had happened to Caroline at the game didn’t mean nothing was going to happen to her this time. I also remembered my commitment from earlier – if he wanted me to go, and it appeared that he did, perhaps this was part of a plan?

I told him I’d come and tried my best not to think about it until then.

* * *

In the evening, the landline rang, and I decided to take the call.

It was Mrs. Lockwood, who opened the conversation by telling me how sorry she was before she got to the point. Apparently, my mother had agreed to donate a bunch of items to put on display during the founders’ party before she died, and Tyler had picked up the box earlier today, but a pocket watch was missing.

I hadn’t noticed any of it; presumably, Jenna had dealt with everything up to this point.

I agreed to look for the watch, then hung up. I went to Jeremy’s room and knocked.

“Come in.”

“Mrs. Lockwood is missing a pocket watch. Did you take it out of mom’s box?”

He hesitated, then nodded.

“Why?”

“It was supposed to be mine. Dad said it always goes to the first-born son.”

I hesitated. It was a conflict between Jeremy’s feelings on the one hand and a tiny chance that the pocket watch was a magical item on the other. Since I had no reason to suppose so other than my newly found paranoia, it would be rude at best not to let him have it.

“Give it to me,” I said in an icy voice. Jeremy didn’t protest – I knew he wouldn’t have; I was not someone he wanted to have an argument with right now. He gave me the pocket watch, and I left.

Back in my room, I opened it.

It was a pocket watch.

At least, it appeared to be just a pocket watch.

But if it was, would Mrs. Lockwood really have called me over it, knowing that my best friend had just died?

It was somewhat unlikely, but nowhere near unlikely enough to justify the suspicion. I knew perfectly well that I was just acting out in desperation.

 _Screw you,_ I thought, addressing no-one in particular, _I’m keeping it anyway_. I picked up the sheet with the encrypted combination from its hiding place and refreshed my memory on the code.

Then I locked the watch away in the safe.

And it felt good, even if it wasn’t going to be useful.

* * *

_Brooke Fenton,_ I reiterated, _Darren Malloy, Marine Brown, John Ward._

_Bonnie Bennett._

* * *

When Stefan and I walked up to the entrance of Lockwood Mansion on the coming day, Mrs. Lockwood herself was there to greet us.

“Elena! It’s so good to see you. Are you okay?”

“I’ll be fine,” I said, trying to manage a smile. “But I couldn’t bring myself to dress up properly,” I added apologetically. “Every time I’ve tried, I’ve just thought of Bonnie, and I couldn’t do it. I hope that’s okay.”

Indeed, while I had chosen to wear a skirt so as to not stand out too much, that was about the extent of my preparations, leaving me horribly under-dressed for the occasion. And I’d done nothing at all with my hair.

“Of _course,_ ” said Mrs. Lockwood, “of course, dear. Please, don’t worry about it. It’s so nice of you to come at all. The founders’ council meant a lot to your parents.” She turned to Stefan. “And you are...”

“Stefan Salvatore,” I supplied. “He’s my date for tonight.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Stefan.”

“Uhm, can we come in?” asked Stefan.

“Well, of course. Come in, please.”

We stepped inside.

The awkwardness of Stefan’s question wasn’t lost on me – it had seemed entirely obvious that we were allowed to come inside, especially given the people waiting in line behind us. I didn’t know why he had chosen to ask, but I filed the memory away for later examination.

“Elena, dear,” Mrs. Lockwood said as soon as we had made space for the people next in line, “did you find the watch?”

“No,” I lied, “I’m very sorry, Mrs. Lockwood. I’ve looked for it, but I just couldn’t find it.”

“Oh, well. I’m sure it’ll show up eventually. Please, don’t worry about it.” She excused herself, leaving me a bit disappointed. If the watch was important, she had done a fantastic job hiding her true reaction.

A moment later, I remembered that Bonnie was dead and felt the familiar stitch in my stomach. I ignored it and turned back to Stefan.

“You wanna get a drink?” he asked, and I nodded. It was a high-class event that included staff going around with plates of champagne, and it didn’t take long for us to run across one of them.

I looked around. There were lots of items on display here. A lot of history. Under normal circumstances, it might have been interesting to walk around and have a look. But right now, I didn’t want to see any of it. Instead, I took a sip of champagne, then linked arms with Stefan and prepared myself to follow his lead.

* * *

I had known Stefan for the better part of two weeks now, and within that time, there was yet to be a single instance in which he had done something to annoy me. As it turned out, he was not about to make this the first. I didn’t know _how_ he knew that I wasn’t interested in the Heritage Display, but somehow he did. Instead of taking me to look at things, he just guided me along the place. It was exactly what I wanted: having him close and having to pay minimal attention to our surroundings. But even then, I did not enjoy myself. My emotions were dominated by a mixture of anxiety and something difficult to place, perhaps best described as hollowness. I hated how everything depended primarily on factors outside of my control. I didn’t know if Stefan _had_ a plan. It wasn’t even _likely_ that he had a plan, all things considered. All I could do was to hope that his comment about dealing with Damon meant what I wanted it to mean – that, and I could try to not screw it up.

It was a miserable situation.

Every couple of minutes, I remembered that Bonnie was dead, and every single instance was accompanied by the same stitch of pain at the same spot in my stomach.

 _Please have a plan,_ I thought, not for the first time. _Please have a plan._

“Elena.”

“Mh?” I lifted my gaze, only now realizing I’d been staring down at my feet.

Damon and Caroline were standing in front of us.

Seeing Caroline immediately reminded me of the fact that Bonnie was dead, and I felt a painful stitch in my stomach. It took me a few seconds to realize that she had been talking.

“Sorry,” I said, “what did you say?”

“I was asking if I could borrow your date,” said Caroline, “because Damon doesn’t want to dance with me.”

“Oh.” I mentally gave myself a kick in the butt, a reminder that I was on a mission to not screw up.

“I don’t really dance...” said Stefan, before I had decided on a reaction.

“Oh, sure he does,” said Damon. “You should see him. Waltz, the Jitterbug, the Moonwalk... he does it all.”

“You wouldn’t mind, would you, Elena?”

That had been enough time for me to decide what to do. If there was a plan, Stefan was the one who knew all the details. Consequently, it was best to relegate decisions to him whenever it was possible. In this case, that was easily arranged.

“It’s all up to Stefan.”

“Well, _sorry_ ,” said Caroline, “but I’m not gonna take no for an answer.”

I felt mostly frustration as she grabbed Stefan’s arm and dragged him away. I truly hated not knowing what was going on. If being alone with Caroline was part of Stefan’s plan, then he had handled this masterfully – it looked, for all intents and purposes, as if it was entirely forced on him. But if it _wasn’t_ , then he’d just screwed up, badly. I felt _much_ better with him around, and I _hated_ being alone with Damon.

 _No,_ I corrected myself, _this is a good sign._ Stefan had literally never done something so disappointing as to leave me alone with Damon for no reason – which meant that there had to be a different reason.

I turned to look at Damon.

“I wanted to apologize to you for my behavior the other day,” he said. “When I tried to kiss you. There’s no excuse. And... I wanted to express my sympathies for Bonnie’s death. It was a horrible tragedy to happen to one of your closest friends. I’m so sorry.”

 _It’s a tragedy no matter who it happens to,_ I thought but didn’t say.

Damon’s expressed sympathy was actually the most genuine-sounding thing I had heard out of his mouth so far. But that fact did not make me feel better about him. On the contrary: it made him worse. If he was, in fact, genuine, it probably meant that he had killed Bonnie without knowing she and I were close. And he felt sorry for it because he hadn’t meant to hurt _me_.

It was _disgusting_. I _loathed_ this way of thinking, this strange pseudo-nihilism where everything was okay as long as it didn’t affect someone personally. I would _prefer_ if he had killed Bonnie on purpose, because at least then he’d be willing to bear a tiny part of the consequences.

I was too distracted by these thoughts to come up with a response, so I remained silent.

“Have you two been very close?”

I took the time I had to push down every instinct to lash out, and to remind myself that I had precisely zero leverage if he were to decide that I was his enemy.

“Yes.” My voice didn’t reveal any anger; it merely sounded like I was close to tears. I cleared my throat. “She was my best friend – I’ve known her for years.”

“I am so sorry _._ ”

He sounded even more genuine now, and it made me even angrier. I vividly remembered our previous encounter, right before he had killed Bonnie; the amount of guilt he had shown then was _zero_. And it was this fact, this silent assumption, that I would be fine with him being a murderer so long as it didn’t hit my own, that was the worst part of it all. I couldn’t remember a previous time when I had felt as deeply offended as I did now.

And the fact that I couldn’t correct him was killing me.

_I was so. angry._

I realized that I was crying. It was too much.

“Are you-” He reached out with an arm.

“ ** _Don’t touch me,_** ” I hissed, unable to hold back. “ ** _You-_** ”

I regained my composure there and stopped myself from saying whatever I would have otherwise said. I didn’t even know.

“I’m sorry,” I said instead, an act that required more willpower than anything I had done in a long time. “I’m sorry I yelled at you. You were just trying to be nice. It’s not your fault she’s dead.”

“Right,” murmured Damon. “Well, I hope it works out between you and Stefan, Elena. I hope he can help you get over your loss.”

With that, he disappeared.

As soon as I could no longer see him, I felt my anger receding. Soon, all that was left was the familiar feeling of anxiety... and a newfound sense of safety.

Damon would probably not hurt me. For whatever reason, I seemed to mean something to him. It was odd, but it was good for me.

There was a pain in my stomach when I remembered that Bonnie was dead.

* * *

“Are you okay?” Stefan asked when he returned about ten minutes later (I had stayed close to make sure he’d find me). I nodded. I wasn’t going to tell him what had happened; the last thing I needed was him having doubts about dealing with Damon. _If_ he had a plan... and hadn’t heard the conversation anyway.

“Do you want to dance?” I asked instead. I liked dancing, and even though I had initially planned to avoid it so as to not draw attention to my appearance, I was now largely beyond caring.

“I would love to.”

* * *

Stefan turned out to be an excellent dancer, which wasn’t the least bit surprising. But even being lost in the activity didn’t stop the thought of Bonnie’s death from reappearing at irregular intervals, each time accompanied by the familiar pain in my stomach.

I didn’t feel like talking, and, as always, Stefan seemed to infer my mood perfectly and adjusted.

After a while, I could feel the champagne doing its work on me, which made the situation more tolerable. I pulled Stefan off the dance floor to have another. He didn’t seem to mind.

“Can I leave you for a bit?” He asked. I nodded. This was good, even though I preferred to have him around – if he had a plan, he would be more likely to succeed without me around. He had needed me to get invited, but he was unlikely to need me for anything else.

“I’ll go find Jenna,” I added, hoping to indicate that he didn’t need to look out for me. He nodded and left.

I didn’t like to be alone, and I felt bound to my word even now, so I did, in fact, look for Jenna. It took me a while, but eventually, I found her. She looked at me, then indicated for me to follow her, but without saying anything. I did, and she guided me to an ancient-looking letter behind a glass frame.

It read: _The founding families of Mystic Falls, Virginia welcome you to the inaugural Founders Council Celebration on this, the twenty-fourth of September in the year Eighteen Hundred and Sixty Four_ (why it spelled out the date, I had no idea).

Then followed a list of names. I wasn’t drunk enough not to predict the punchline, so I wasn’t the least bit surprised when I found both Damon’s and Stefan’s names on the list. This lower-bounded their age by at least one hundred and sixty.

I looked at Jenna and nodded, glad that she had been smart enough not to communicate this verbally.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

She grimaced. “Logan tried to hit on me.”

Logan was her ex-boyfriend and the reason she had left Mystic Falls initially (after he cheated on her), before coming back to act as our guardian.

“And did it work?”

“Nope,” Jenna said, not sounding happy. “But he said he’d try again, until I give him a second chance.”

I wondered whether she had refused in part because of the vampire problem, but I couldn’t ask her, so I stayed silent.

“And you?”

“Could be better,” I murmured.

I figured I had to find something to do; otherwise, this party would drag on forever. So I asked her about how she had first met Logan. That was enough to kill at least a couple of minutes, and after yet another glass of champagne, the day was slowly getting tolerable.

Of course, being drunk didn’t stop the pain from returning every couple of minutes.

* * *

Stefan hadn’t come back, and neither had Damon or Caroline. This could mean both good and bad things, so I tried to stay positive. Caroline was probably not in danger, not if Damon wanted to avoid hurting me.

Eventually, it got dark, and the party began to thin out. Jenna asked me if I wanted to leave, and I said yes. If Stefan had needed me for anything other than getting in, he would have asked; I had checked my phone regularly.

Jenna drove us home, and we got there without trouble. She waited until we had entered the house before she started talking.

“I think I still wasn’t sure. I believed it, of course, but I still was hoping that maybe... until I saw the invitation.”

“I was,” I said, “it’s been increasingly obvious.”

“Did Stefan do anything?”

“I don’t know...”

Jenna had known she’d have to drive, so she had left it at a single glass. I, on the other hand, was still quite drunk.

“Did he say anything? Did he text you?”

“Dunno,” I murmured. “But I checked before we left.” I pulled my phone out of my purse to check again.

There was the little blinking icon, and a tiny ’2’ next to it.

“He did send something. Two messages, actually. But it’s probably nothing important. He never told me he had a plan. I was just hoping.” My hands were shaking when I clicked on the button.

“-oh, shit.”

“What?”

I showed her the screen. The first message read:

_I’m sorry for leaving without saying goodbye. I had to look out for Caroline. She’s fine now. I think she’ll go to school on Monday, but I won’t be there for a couple of days. I have to take care of something._

And the second read:

_PS: Please don’t tell this to anyone, but I don’t think Damon will be coming back._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to instalment #1 of art vaguely related to this story.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grDODVw-Vbk


	7. Damon, #3

The coming days were a nightmare.

By any reasonable standard, my situation had improved dramatically. Before the founder’s party, my primary hope had been based on a vague comment Stefan had made on the phone. Since then, I had obtained direct confirmation that the problem was dealt with and a promise that Damon wouldn’t come back. In spite of this, my mood had been at a perpetual low ever since waking up on Monday. Something about the uncertainty made it near-unbearable to wait. Had Stefan killed his brother and was now covering his tracks? Had he beaten him and was keeping him prisoner somewhere? Was he shipping his body off to rest in a different place? Or had he simply convinced him to leave and was accompanying him now, traveling away into some other country?

Or was it something else entirely?

I just needed to _know_.

Many times, I wished I had just told him everything. If he knew that I knew, perhaps he would tell me what he had done. One time, I had gone so far as to type up a message on my phone, only to delete it without pressing send. What held me back was the fear that he would come and erase my memory, just as he had done with Vicki (who appeared to be dating Jeremy now, based on my encounter with her in our bathroom on the morning after the founder’s party). Stefan was, of course, going to know eventually, but the closer we grew until then, the less likely he was to go against my will. And as painful as it was to wait, I knew that a few days of agonizing didn’t compare to an increased chance of losing my memory. Whatever was going to happen, I had zero intention to forget about vampires, live a normal life, and then die of old age. Presumably, most people went through life without ever learning that vampires were real – and if that was so, it meant that losing my memory was tantamount to closing the door to the supernatural, forever.

To prepare for the eventuality as best I could, I had begun a separate diary in which I wrote down detailed summaries of every major event that had taken place since the beginning of last week, including things that I remembered clearly and would never write down under normal circumstances. That way, I would still have access to an imperfect backup, provided that whoever took away my memories left my diaries in place. In the spirit of my newly found paranoia, I had also made copies and hidden them in the cellar.

Bonnie’s death did its own part in making me miserable, though at least her memory returned less frequently now.

Other than documenting my frustration through writing, I spent a lot of my time working through a textbook on linear algebra. Math was one of the few things that could still distract me. I didn’t go back to school – with one of my best friends dying just four months after my parents, I knew that no-one would dare complain if I took a week off. Jeremy was going back to classes, though, which was good. He and Bonnie had barely known each other.

Caroline was a mess. She had suffered severe memory loss – presumably, she had seen things she wasn’t meant to see during the founder’s party, and either Stefan or Damon had corrected that error. She remembered attending the party with Damon, but this was followed by a gaping hole that ended with her lying on the ground on the outskirts of Lockwood’s property. The most surprising part of the story, though, was the piece of jewelry she had found lying beside her: an amber crystal attached to a silver necklace. Given what I suspected about the events of that day, this was difficult to make sense of. My first guess had been that it was a protective item that Stefan had given to her after taking out Damon, but this theory implied that Stefan had just assumed Caroline would wear it, which seemed like a stretch. A more plausible explanation was that Damon had simply given it to her, in which case its purpose was far less likely to be benevolent.

Given this, it had seemed unwise to let Caroline keep it. To my own surprise (and despite the fact that I hadn’t been able to name a single reason for wanting it), I had managed to convince her to give it to me. It had been an ugly process that had involved me making her feel bad on purpose and crying about it later, but I didn’t regret it. The necklace had changed residence from around Caroline’s neck to the insides of my safe, and that seemed worth the emotional cost. Miraculously, I had even managed to end the day back in Caroline’s favor.

I wished I could have told her everything, but I couldn’t justify doing it. If it was customary to kill humans who knew about vampires, the knowledge would put her in serious danger (especially if mind-reading was a thing), and there simply was no good reason to tell her now rather than in a few weeks when I had more information. So instead, I kept my mouth shut and became even more impatient.

It was Thursday evening when the wait finally came to an end.

* * *

Jenna was home when the doorbell rang – she didn’t stay out late anymore – but I was the first to answer it. Outside stood Stefan.

“Hi,” he said, “can I come in?”

“No. Jenna and Jeremy are home.” I stepped outside instead. “What happened?”

“Damon’s gone. He won’t be coming back. I think things can go back to normal now – if you’re still talking to me.”

I closed my eyes, feeling the all too familiar frustration about being kept in the dark. I had expected to end the wait _knowing what had happened_.

“Stefan,” I said as I reopened them, “I need to know what’s going on. Tell me.”

“Does it matter? He’s gone for good, Elena. I dealt with it.”

“You can’t–” I stopped myself, feeling that the frustration was clouding my judgment. “Okay, just – let me think.”

If the only way to obtain the information was to tell him...

... but if I did, what had been the point of delaying it all this time?

I noticed myself wanting to keep it a secret now to justify my prior decisions, before realizing how stupid that was. It didn’t matter what I had done in the past – at this point, telling him was either a good idea, or it wasn’t.

I mulled it over, and eventually reached a decision. I couldn’t spend more time like this. The prevalence of long term considerations over short term suffering might have worked in the abstract, but in reality, I simply lacked the willpower to go on... and besides, Stefan would notice something was up if I spent every other moment agonizing over Damon.

So I would tell him. But first, I would do everything I could to decrease the probability of a bad outcome.

“Do you promise not to do anything with me against my will?”

“What?” asked Stefan, seemingly perplexed.

“Do you?”

“Of course.”

“And do you promise,” I said quietly, “not to take this off?” I took the pendant in between two fingers.

“I promise.”

“Swear it,” I urged.

“I swear it.”

_Alright then._

“You’re a vampire.”

Instinctively, I closed my right hand around the pendant. He didn’t say anything for a couple of seconds, then-

“You know,” he stated, sounding more than a little surprised.

“Yes,” I said drily, “I know. _And I don’t consent to you erasing anything from my memory,”_ I added. “If you do it, you’ll be breaking your vow.”

“I will never mess with your memory if you don’t want me to. But how do you-”

“Later,” I cut him off. “First, I need to know what happened with Damon. What did you do?”

“Elena...” his voice sounded strained. “You have to understand... Damon-”

“-killed Brooke Fenton, and Darren Malloy, and Marine Brown, and Robert Walsh, and Bonnie Bennet. I know what he did, Stefan. I _don’t_ _need_ _convincing_ that he’s a murderer. _I need to know what you did to stop him.”_

Stefan’s expression was inscrutable, but finally, he answered.

“I locked him away.”

“Good,” I said, “but why didn’t you come back sooner?”

“He... he might still be dangerous. Damon is stronger than I am because he drinks human blood. He might be able to call for help, even if he’s locked in a cell.”

“Then why are you here now?”

“I didn’t want to keep you waiting for longer. I don’t think he’s strong enough to reach out anymore. It’s been four days without blood.”

“You don’t _think?”_ I echoed. “How sure are you?”

“I... don’t know. I’ve never done this to another vampire before.”

I felt as if my eyeballs were bulging out of my skull. _Why were other people so utterly insane?_

“Go back,” I said immediately, trying very hard to remain calm, “go back right now. Go as fast as you can.”

“Are... are you sure?”

“ ** _Yes!_** _”_ I snapped. “Go there _right now_. _Go and call me when you’re there._ **_Go!_** _”_

“Alright.” He turned around and ran – _much_ faster than any human could move.

I ground my teeth together, my heart pounding. I couldn’t _believe_ he had left when there was still a chance Damon might escape. If he was still capable, he was obviously going to do it as soon as Stefan left. And if he succeeded, we might lose everything, _everything._ More people would die. Stefan might die. I might die.

I went back inside and ran upstairs to fetch my phone, all the while barely realizing what I was doing. If Damon got away, if he escaped now... tears dwelt out of my eyes at the mere thought. It was too much. If, after all that, he was _successfully_ captured and _then_ got away, it would be beyond the pale; it would be _worse_ than anything that had happened before, including Bonnie’s death. He couldn’t make it out; it wasn’t _allowed_ to happen. Not now. Not after we’d already _won._ And I knew that it shouldn’t take long; I didn’t know how fast Stefan could run, but it had looked extremely fast. Eighty miles per hour, I estimated, perhaps more. He should be back at the boarding house in under two minutes. Soon.

_Soon._

My stomach turned upside down as the call didn’t come, and I began suspecting the worst. If Damon had still been in his cell, then Stefan would have called by now. This was the same person who had always avoided making me feel uncomfortable, who seemed to understand me so well. He’d know how horrible it would be for me to wait. He would have called the moment he had arrived. The only explanation for the delay was that my worst fears had come true.

_No no no no no no no no_

Perhaps Stefan wouldn’t even survive.

I knew I was still crying, but I didn’t care to wipe my eyes. It didn’t matter, nothing mattered, except that Damon had escaped, that he had gone out and killed more people, that everything was going to-

My phone rang. I clicked on accept in a millisecond.

“Elena?”

“What happened?”

“It’s under control,” Stefan said, and a wave of relief washed over me. “But you were right. He was about to escape.”

_!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

“When I got back, I found him just breaking out of the cell. He’d gotten Caroline to come and get-”

I didn’t hear the rest.

It was too much.

I was delirious. Some part of my brain registered that Stefan was still talking, but it couldn’t comprehend the words anymore. It was just too much.

Seconds. It had probably come down to _seconds_. **_SECONDS._** If I had taken just a few seconds longer to convince him to go back, or had thought for just a little bit longer, I would have lost _everything_.

 ****It was as if the fact that it hadn’t happened, that we had been so outrageously lucky, as it if was so fragile that it wasn’t final yet, as if it might still slip away...

 _No,_ I thought. _No. We've won. He’s still captured._

_He's still captured._

_And I won’t let it be close again.  
_

I didn’t know how long it was until I regained the ability to communicate.

“Elena?” Stefan’s voice said from out of the phone, “Elena, are you okay?”

“I’ll come... over,” I said groggily, “unless you think there are other vampires out there... and it’s too dangerous.”

“No,” said Stefan, “you’ll be fine. Want me to call a cab?”

I thought about it, taking at least twice as long as I would have ordinarily.

It _was_ the fastest way. And that was the only thing that mattered.

“Yes.”

* * *

As soon as I had paid the driver (far too much because I didn’t want to wait for him to dig out the change) and got out of the cab, I ran toward the Salvatore residence. I didn’t have to knock; a man was standing in the entrance, apparently waiting for me.

“Are you Elena?” he asked as I approached.

I nodded, halting in front of him.

“You saved my life. Damon was about to kill me. He had his hands on my neck when Stefan arrived.”

I could feel the tears coming back upon hearing this. I didn’t know what to say.

“Can I hug you?” he asked, and I managed a nod. He took a step closer and took me into his arms. I leaned against him for a while, silently sobbing.

“Thank you,” he murmured, “thank you so much. I will never forget what you did today.”

I didn’t know how long it was until he drew back.

“You’re... Zachary... aren’t you?”

“Yes. Call me Zach. I’m Stefan’s distant nephew.”

 _Nephew,_ I thought, _of course._ I had never connected the dots, but obviously, if he was a human, then he was much younger than Stefan, despite looking older.

“Where is he?” I managed.

“Are you sure you want to-”

“ ** _Yes._** _I need to see that he’s still locked up._ ”

“Follow me,” said Zach. He led me into a luxurious living room, through what seemed to be a hidden entrance and then downstairs. We ended up in front of a heavy, iron door with a barred hole at eye height. Stefan was standing beside it, and there was light flooding out of the hole.

Without hesitating, I stepped up close enough to look into the cell. There was a wooden table, and on its stood more than a dozen potted plants, all of them looking alike. Above hung a trio of brightly shining lambs. And there, lying on the floor in front of the table, was Damon.

“Elena,” said Stefan as I turned around, “are you-”

“I’ll be fine. Now that I see him locked up, I’ll be fine.”

It was the truth. Seeing him did what nothing else could have. I had needed to know, to know with _certainty_ , that he was still captive.

I took a few steps closer, standing beside Stefan.

“Could he still be dangerous? If he summons another vampire...”

“You can’t summon vampires. It only works on weak, young creatures. Animals, children, young adults. And Damon is much weaker than I am now. Elena,” he added, “I’m so sorry. You were right. It was reckless to come to you. I should have stayed longer to make sure.”

“Yes,” I said dryly, “you clearly should have.” I closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling of receding tension and of relief.

“What happened?” I murmured. “I only caught a bit of it when you told me on the phone before I lost it.”

“He summoned Caroline,” said Stefan, while I threw a look over my shoulder and noticed that Zach had left. “She opened the lock. Zach tried to stop her, but he was a few seconds too late. Caroline got away, but Damon got out. He was about to snap his neck when I came back. It was so close. I told him I’d kill him if he killed Zach, and he knew I could, so he left him and just tried to run. But like I said, I’m much faster than he is now. I caught him and locked him back in. Then I caught up with Caroline. I erased her memories. I can’t be sure it works, since I don’t feed on human blood, but it worked with Vicki.”

“Good,” I murmured, “good, good.” The shock was over; I could listen to the description and simply observe the facts without losing my mind. “So Caroline is the only potential problem, right now. Do you mind if I call her? She’s a terrible liar. If she knows something, I’ll figure it out on the phone.”

“Go ahead,” said Stefan, and I grabbed my phone and called, but went upstairs while it rang, just to make sure Damon wouldn’t make any noises she could hear.

I confirmed that Caroline didn’t remember anything relating to vampires – she seemed disturbed, for reasons she probably couldn’t place herself, but I didn’t see how she would pose an immediate risk. I ended the call as quickly as possible and called Jenna next, letting her know where I was and that the threat was over. Everything else could wait.

“Jenna knows everything,” I said to Stefan as I returned, “she won’t tell anyone.” (Stefan didn’t look surprised, which probably meant that he had heard the conversation from down here, implying that he had superhuman hearing, too). “How did you do it? I was hoping you’d be trying something at the founder’s party. What was it?”

“I had no idea how much you had figured out, Elena. Did you see the plants? Vervain. It’s poisonous to vampires. And it takes a few seconds to have an effect, so if you put it into a drink and a vampire takes anything more than a sip, it knocks him out. I knew he’d be too careful to take something from me, so I waited until I had a moment with Caroline and spiked her drink. I knew he’d drink her blood sooner or later, and he did. That was enough to make him weak.”

Hearing this marked the first time that I felt legitimately good about our victory and proud of both him and me.

“Well done,” I said, “that was clever.” I remembered the moment that Caroline had taken Stefan away to dance. Given what I knew now, this had been in Stefan’s interest – in fact, it had been precisely what he had needed to execute his plan. Which meant he had played it perfectly; rather than being eager to go with Caroline, which might have evoked Damon’s suspicion, he had appeared resistant, presumably knowing that Caroline would insist anyway. (In fact, I now realized, Caroline had most likely acted on Damon’s orders.)

“Bonnie’s death,” I inquired next, “how did it happen?”

“I... when you told me to leave, I found Damon. I didn’t know where Caroline was, but I knew that if I was with him, she wasn’t in danger. I had overheard your conversation with him before. I knew what he’d done. I was angry, but I still believed in him. I... I tried to appeal to his good side. I wanted to convince him that there was still a part of his humanity left in him. And then Bonnie... she just walked by. He didn’t even wait to see who it was, he just jumped at her, and he...” His face was twisted in pain. “... he drained her blood until she was dead. It was my fault. He did it to prove me wrong. I’m so sorry.”

At any other time, hearing these details would have wrecked my mental state. But right now, I barely felt anything. It was no worse than what I had expected, and it didn’t hold a candle to what I had been through a minute ago.

“I think it’s far-fetched to blame you for her death. I’d put a lot more blame on myself... but never mind that now. Was that when you decided you had to stop him?”

“Yes.”

I nodded, thinking back over the past two weeks. What Stefan had told me made sense of his behavior. He didn’t consider Damon a friend, but he hadn’t tried to fight him outright, either. He had cleaned up after him in the case of Vicki, and probably for previous murders, too. But Bonnie’s death had pushed him over the edge.

It _shouldn’t_ have taken Bonnie’s death, of course. He should have stopped Damon sooner, probably a hundred years sooner. Still, it was probably the best explanation I could have hoped for. He had tolerated his brother’s actions for far too long – a terrible mistake, but something I was willing to accept.

And it showed that he really did care about me.

“How did you find out?” asked Stefan quietly. “Did Damon tell you?”

“No. It all came down to Bonnie. Remember what she told me, on the first day we met? She said she saw ‘fog, a crow, a man’. That fit the scene from the cemetery perfectly.”

“But how did that-”

“It’s too specific to be a coincidence,” I explained, “which meant that she must have known it. So either a prank or supernatural. But everything pointed against it being a prank. It’s not like her at all, and you promised me that you didn’t tell her, so she’d have to have been there. But – like – really? And even if she _had_ somehow pulled it, there’s no way she could have lied as convincingly as she did. I couldn’t come up with a solution, and then Matt told me that Vicki said she was bitten by a vampire-”

“Yeah,” said Stefan, “that’s why-”

“-you went there and erased her memory,” I finished for him. “Of course, she had just lost a lot of blood, and could have been fantasizing – ordinarily, I wouldn’t have made much out of it. But the stuff with Bonnie was more than enough to make me take the vampire theory seriously. So I went and checked for any deaths that had occurred in Mystic Falls recently.”

I turned back to look through the hole. It hadn’t been lost on me that he was still conscious, cowering on the bottom of the cell but occasionally moving.

“Five people,” I said. “You’ve murdered five people since you came here. Unless you’ve also made trips to other places and killed even more people there.”

“Elena...” Damon crawled into a sitting position so that he could look at me. “I’m sorry about... Bonnie. I didn’t know she was your friend.”

“ _You fucking spineless_ _child_ ,” I hissed, the anger I had last felt at the founder’s party now coming back to me. “You really think _Bonnie_ is the reason I’m angry. You think the only reason to care about other people is because they’re close to you, and you feel something for them, but as long as they’re strangers, it’s okay to kill them. You think you can murder – **_murder!_** – innocent people _without even feeling bad about it_ because they’re just _strangers_. I bet you never learn the names of the people you kill. And you think I’m the same way. Guess what. **_I’m not._** ”

Furious, I pulled one of my diaries out of my purse, which I then threw into a corner without a second look. I flipped through the pages until I found the right one.

“ ** _Brooke Fenton!_** _”_ I spat. I held up my diary such that its front faced the hole, making sure that both pages were visible. “That’s the first person you killed. And the person you see on the right page, that’s her mom. Her name’s Angela. And her dad. Walter. Her sister. Caroline.” Retrieving the diary, I saw with some satisfaction that he was still looking. I flipped the page, then showed him the next one. “ ** _Darren Malloy._** He’s the other person you killed, on the same day. And his mom. Lauren. His dad. Thomas. And the forth person you see is his best friend. _He_ had a best friend. His name’s Morgan Headley. And _you killed Darren._ You killed Morgan’s best friend. You took _just as much_ from Morgan as you took from me.” I took the diary back into my grasp so I could flip to the next page. I didn’t waste time looking at it myself; I knew what was on it. “ ** _Marine Brown._** ” She was the only one where I hadn’t been able to find pictures of her family, so took the book back to flip it one more time – but not before making sure that he had at least a couple of seconds to look at the face of his victim. “ ** _Robert Walsh_** _,_ " I said about the final page. “Here’s his mother, Emma. His father, Nate.”

I retrieved the book and snapped it shut.

“And yes,” I said icily, “Bonnie Bennett. But _every one of these four murders is as much of a tragedy as hers._ ” I got as close to the cell as I could without touching it. “If you had killed her on purpose, Damon, at least you would be willing to pay the price of _feeling uncomfortable_ when you face me. But no. You’re _worse_. You’re not willing to do that. Why feel uncomfortable when you can avoid it? You are a fucking coward. If you’d known she was my friend, you wouldn’t have killed Bonnie, would you? You’d have killed someone else instead. Then you could have stood up to me without feeling bad. But you still would’ve killed, killed someone else _whose life would be every bit as valuable as Bonnie’s was_.”

I took a step back.

“It doesn’t matter that you killed Bonnie. It doesn’t change a thing. Bonnie is insignificant compared to all the other people you’ve killed. It’s just another name on a list. And even those four? They’re not the real story, either. The real story is the countless people you’ve killed before them. Unless,” I added, turning to Stefan, “he only started murdering people when he got to Mystic Falls.”

It was barely worth answering, but Stefan shook his head.

“You will die in your cell, Damon,” I hissed, turning back around, “you will never kill another person again. Not ever. But,” I added, “if there are exonerating circumstances – by all means, tell me. If there’s something better than being too much of a coward to face the friends of your victims, tell me. Why do you murder, Damon?”

I knew the answer before it was given.

“I like it.”

I had no response. There was nothing else to say.

“You’re... right. I’m evil. I... deserve to die. But... so does Stefan. He’s killed... a lot of people...”

I looked at Stefan. He nodded slowly.

“Damon’s right. I’ve killed people. A lot of people. Enough to deserve death.”

“Quantities _matter_. A thousand people matter _ten times as much_ as a hundred people. _Every one of them matters_. How many people did you kill, Stefan?”

“A lot. I didn’t count.”

“Give me an estimate,” I insisted. “I need to know. It _matters._ ”

Enough time passed between my insisting and his answer for me to realize how afraid I was to hear it.

“Two thousand.”

Something worse than fear crept into my heart. Worse than disappointment. It was something I had never felt before, a sense of both dread and utter helplessness. I didn’t know if I could forgive two thousand murders, but I knew perfectly well that I could not afford anything else. I _needed_ Stefan. I needed him to take care of Damon, I needed him to protect me, and eventually, I would need him to turn me.

And yet...

... I couldn’t look past this. I didn’t _want_ to look past this.

“ _God-dammit,_ ” I murmured, seeing my tears drop onto the journal’s cover.

I sobbed. But I couldn’t give up now. I needed to pull myself together.

“How long?” I whispered. “How long since your last?”

“Sixty-two years. The last human was in 1947.”

“ _Why?”_

It had been phrased as a question, but it was a plea. I wanted there to be an answer. I _needed_ there to be an answer. If I had believed in a god, I would have prayed for there to be an answer.

“There’s a switch. If you’re a vampire, there’s a switch you can flip. It turns off your humanity. You stop caring for people. After I turned, I did it to deal with my loss... with it off, I was worse than Damon. Lexi, my mentor, she helped me to get myself back under control, only a few months after I turned. But I slipped again in 1912. This time was much worse. It took a decade for me to see Lexi again, and longer for me to recover fully.”

The hollowness didn’t disappear, but it lessened. This was better than what I had hoped for, or even imagined. If there was something that literally altered your personality, it meant that the person I knew was still real. It explained how I could have been so sure that he wasn’t a serial killer, even though he was.

But what applied to him...

“Did Damon-”

“At times,” said Stefan. “But not right now. It makes a difference, but it’s not as large as it is for me. He can kill with his humanity on.”

“Then you are nothing like Damon,” I whispered. _Even though you have killed so many._

“I’ve killed vampires,” said Stefan. “It’s been sixty-two years since my last human, but since then, I’ve killed two other vampires.”

“Why?”

“One of them killed a person I cared about. Just for fun. It wasn’t even for food. The other attacked me. He wanted something I had.”

“Both of them murderers?”

“Probably not at the scale of Damon, or me when I had my humanity off. But yes, I’m sure both of them have killed regularly.”

“Then you’ve repaired some damage there.” I closed my eyes once more. It didn’t stop the tears, but it made it easier to think.

What I had said to Damon had not been strategic. I had never planned to show the photos to anyone but Jenna. Neither had I planned to behave as if I was in charge, as if my word was going to decide his fate. There was more than one point at which Stefan could have rightfully pointed out that _he_ was the one who would decide what to do with his brother, not me.

Instead, he had answered every question I had asked, and it was evident that he cared about what I thought.

Just like it had always been. He had always cared about me, ever since the first time we had met.

And I was not going to remind him that I had no way whatsoever to contest any decision he made. I trusted my own judgment more than his, or anyone else’s. Whatever degree of authority I had stumbled into, I was going to keep it.

“There are things I need to know,” I murmured, “things about vampires. Will you answer the questions I have?”

“I’ll tell you everything you want to know. But can we go upstairs?”

“I don’t want to leave Damon unobserved,” I said. Inadvertently, I opened my eyes and threw a brief gaze at the cell, just to ease my paranoia. “Not if there’s any chance he gets out, no matter how small.”

“He can’t get out of this cell. He couldn’t break this lock even if he had his full strength. He’s far too weak now. And even if he did, I would hear it from upstairs. I’ve seen how fast he is now, he can barely run twice as fast as a human. And I’ll hear it if someone enters the house, too. Caroline could only get in because I wasn’t there.”

I considered this.

“You’re _sure_ you’ll hear it if he breaks out?”

“Yes. I can hear anything that happens in this cell, as clearly as you would if you were standing inside.”

“Fine.” I fetched my diary and my purse, then threw a final look at the cell and followed Stefan upstairs.

“You want something to drink?” Stefan asked, and at once, I realized how thirsty I was.

“Water, please.”

He poured me a glass, and we sat down at a large dinner table.

“Give me a minute,” I murmured. The following would require me having a clear head. Stefan just nodded, not saying a word until I had calmed down and thought about how to proceed.

“You need to be honest with me,” I said eventually. “What you’ve done is horrible, but I think I can accept it. I won’t accept it if you lie to me. You’ve been doing it so far to hide that you’re a vampire, and that’s fine. I get it. But from now on, you have to tell me the truth. No lying to protect me, and no leaving important things out. It doesn’t matter what it’s about. Only the truth.”

Stefan looked at me for a while, then he nodded.

“Can Damon still hear us?”

“I don’t think so. He can probably hear just a little better than a human, at this point. It should deteriorate about as quickly as his speed.”

“Good.” There wasn’t any particular information I wanted to hide from him, it just made me feel more comfortable.

“How are vampires turned?” I asked. It was as good a place as any to start; this was information I needed to have, sooner or later.

“If you die with vampire blood in your system, you’ll be reborn as a vampire. Then, you have to drink human blood to complete the transformation, otherwise, you’ll die in about a day. But vampire blood also has healing effects when humans drink it, and if it prevents your death, you stay human.”

“What powers do you have?”

“We’re very fast. We have enhanced hearing and smell, and improved vision, though not by as much. Any disability you had as a human is repaired; there are no vampires with bad sight or unable to walk unless they’ve lost their legs. We can mind-control humans if we get to look them into the eyes, but not other vampires. We can also affect their memory. Those of us who feed on humans can reach out to other, weaker creatures. Damon managed to call Caroline and direct her to this place, but it should have been possible for her to resist. If she was younger, or if her mind was impaired, say if she’s drunk, he could have forced her to do things against her will. And something with a primitive mind like a bat, he can control completely. We never stop gaining in strength, so the older we get, the stronger we become.”

“My necklace protects me, doesn’t it? How does it work?”

“It does. It has vervain in it. Maybe you recognized the smell from downstairs.”

I hadn’t, but made the connection now that he said it.

“Will it also protect me if I ingest it?”

“Yes, as long as it’s in or on you. Obviously, if you ingest it, it won’t stay in your system forever.”

“You don’t have perfect recall, do you?” _Since you don’t remember how many people you’ve killed,_ I added in thought only.

“No. Your mental abilities don’t change much.”

“Is there some kind of authority? Something analogous to the Volturi in Twilight – have you read Twilight?”

“I have,” said Stefan, “but no. And we’re not as strong as vampires are in that world. You don’t need to burn a vampire to kill him. If you separate his head or rip out his heart, he’ll die. And our skin isn’t as hard as steel. And we do need to sleep. Also, vampires burn in the sun.” He held up his hand. “Damon and I have rings to protect us. That is what the second vampire I told you about wanted from me. Damon doesn’t have his anymore, of course.”

That was a lot more than I had asked for with that question, and I filed it back for later. For now, I was interested in something else.

“Do most vampires kill humans to feed?”

“No. Most vampires drink human blood and compel them to forget. But you can’t do it safely. The thirst for blood is too much. Sooner or later, you drink too much and kill someone. Also, ingesting human blood can be... bad for you. I am... particularly vulnerable to it. Most vampires don’t kill people on purpose, but they kill them accidentally. Or they’ll kill someone when they’re angry.”

“How often?”

“It depends. Maybe half a dozen times per year. More if they turned off their humanity and don’t have the motivation to avoid it. But you can only turn off your humanity when you’re young. Maybe in your first two-hundred years. Damon and I could still do it.”

“Then the real world is not as dire as Twilight paints it,” I murmured, “but it’s still pretty bad.”

In Twilight, almost every vampire became a mass murderer when they turned, and it was considered odd to think this was morally wrong. It was a comically pessimistic take on the moral code of the average human that had always seemed unrealistic to me, even though I considered myself to be rather cynical.

The real world was much better – six humans per year would only amount to a fraction of the body count that would accumulate if vampires killed every human they fed on. To think that most people were willing to trade several lives per year just to have tastier meals was still horrible, but it wasn’t _too_ horrible. Instead, it seemed about as horrible as I’d have expected. It wasn’t even hard for me to imagine how it went for most of them: first, they’d kill someone by accident and feel bad about it. Maybe they’d live on donor blood for a while. Then they’d promise themselves to be extra careful and go back to drinking human blood. They would succeed in not killing their victims over and over again until eventually, they stopped being as careful as they needed to be. Thus, inevitably, they’d kill again, and the entire process would repeat. And that would be that.

“Can anyone read minds?” I asked, and Stefan shook his head.

“But you could make me tell you things and then make me forget that it happened,” I pointed out, and he nodded.

“So the vervain is not that helpful,” I murmured, “since any vampire could easily force me to take it off. Or, if I ingested it, they’d have to keep me until it’s out of my system.”

I stopped my inquiry there and added it to my mental file.

“Any other ‘special talents’, like in Twilight? Supernatural gifts that only some vampires have?”

“No.”

“Okay... and no vampire authority?” I asked again. Stefan shook his head. “No police, no group that’s going around killing everyone who defies their rules... no coordinated enforcement of any kind...?”

“Not anymore. If you reveal our existence, you might call attention to yourself, and maybe some group of vampires somewhere will decide that it’s their job to kill you and clean up the mess. But that’s about it.”

“How many vampires are like Damon?”

“I don’t know. Not many. I think it’s like with humans – some people become murderers. It’s a much higher proportion because it’s easier to get away with, and because of the bloodlust – but still, most vampires don’t enjoy killing. Maybe one percent. What’s more common is vampires who don’t value human life, and will throw it away at their convenience.”

I ignored the feeling of disgust this description evoked; right now, it didn’t matter.

“How many vampires are there?”

“I don’t know, but it’s probably less than you think. Maybe ten thousand, worldwide. Perhaps a bit more. Mystic Falls is very unusual.”

A bit more than ten thousand... perhaps twelve thousand... that meant there were, roughly, two vampires for every million humans. And if the mean body count for each vampire was, say, thirty per year (most would kill less, but some a lot more), that would be about... if I rounded it up a bit further... about half a million deaths per year, worldwide. A rough guess, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it was off by a factor of two or more, but it still gave me a sense of the proportions.

I archived the thought into my imaginary file, then mulled over the information I had.

All in all, it painted a clear picture.

There was no vampire authority, which meant that there wouldn’t be ‘legal’ consequences. Mind-reading wasn’t possible, so no-one would figure out what I’d done and kill me for revenge (not that Damon was likely to have close friends, anyway). There was some risk that another vampire knew where Damon had gone, would draw the connection, and force me to confess – but it was small at worst, and I didn’t intend to leave myself vulnerable in the first place.

And Damon needed to be stopped. He was a psychopath, a serial killer, a monster. He was murdering with his humanity on, and he hadn’t changed for over one and a half centuries, so he wasn’t going to change now. At the very least, I could never be confident enough that he’d change to justify freeing him.

The only hurdle...

I looked up.

“Stefan?”

“Yes?”

“We need to kill Damon.”


	8. Meteor

“He’s my brother.”

“He’s a serial killer.”

“I know. But he’s still my brother.”

“Imagine he’d killed people you loved. Imagine he’d killed-” I stopped. It felt manipulative to use myself as an example, so I chose the only two other people whom I knew he cared about. “-Zach, as he was about to do, or your mentor, Lexi.”

“He didn’t.”

“But everyone he’s killed probably had someone who felt that way about them.”

“I _know_ he deserves to die, Elena. I know he deserves to die a hundred times over. But he’s my brother. if it was Jeremy, would you be willing to kill him?”

“Yes.” I closed my hands around my necklace. “And if you don’t believe me, I’ll take this off, and you can force me to tell the truth.”

Stefan’s gaze lowered.

“I know you’re right. But I don’t know if I can do it. And I wasn’t going to let him go free. I was going to move him to the family crypt once he’s weak enough, and in fifty years, maybe we could try again.”

“Sorry,” I said, “but that plan makes no sense. Why would he be better in fifty years? Why would being a mummy do this to him? Either it’s like a coma, in which case nothing’s changed for him, or it’s actively painful, in which case he’d only have more reason to hate you. And I’d object to it as torture, even for him.”

“It hurts at first,” murmured Stefan.. “After a few weeks, he’d stop feeling anything.” He opened his hand as if to grab something, but didn’t seem to know what to do with it. “I know it’s not a good plan. But I didn’t know what else to do.” He took a breath. “You can’t do it, so I would have to. With my own hands.”

“If that’s the issue, then I _can_ do it. Wait until he can’t move, give me a stake – or a gun, you said vampires die if you cut their head off, so a gun should work. I’m not afraid of getting-” I interrupted myself, and began again. “-that’s not true, of course, I _am_ afraid of getting my hands dirty. But I’m _more_ afraid of making the wrong choice. I _will_ do it if that’s what it takes.”

Stefan was grabbing the edge of his chair so hard that his knuckles turned almost white.

“I _can’t_. I _can’t_ , Elena. Even if you do it. I can’t let him die.”

“If we leave him alive, he’ll be free eventually. Otherwise, there’s no point. And then he will kill, and every single person he kills will be more blood on your hands.”

For the first time since I had known him, Stefan looked shaken.

“You don’t actually _like_ having him around,” I reminded him, relentlessly pushing my agenda. “He makes your life miserable. Would you have missed him if he hadn’t come to Mystic Falls?”

“No. But-”

“You and I would be together now,” I interrupted. “We wouldn’t have to spend our time agonizing over the person that none of us likes. And think of the people you’ve killed, Stefan. Two thousand people died because of you. This is your chance to fix it – to _really_ fix it, not just to stop making it worse. If we stop Damon, we save thousands of nameless people. Perhaps more people than you’ve ever killed. All of them have their own loved ones who would be heartbroken over their deaths. All of them will be alive because of us. But if we don’t-”

 _“Stop,”_ said Stefan, and I shut my mouth immediately. For a moment, and for the first time, I was afraid of him. Perhaps, I had finally gone too far.

But then he looked at me, and I knew he would never hurt me.

“I have to talk to him. If I’m going to kill him, I have to talk to him first.”

I bit my lip.

_“Elena!”_

“I know how _incredibly unfair_ this is to you and that I can’t stop you anyway,” I blurted, “but you have known this person for a hundred and seventy years and you’ve known me for less than two weeks and if you go down there and you think you have to choose between us and you choose him and you let him out-”

“I won’t.”

“I know that you think you won’t, but-”

“I won’t let him out, Elena. You have to trust me.”

I could feel the tears returning. “I’m not crying to manipulate you,” I said, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry! It’s the thought of you choosing Damon over me that-”

With supernatural speed, he approached me, taking my head between his hands. He didn’t push it; I knew he’d never risk doing anything against my will. He waited for me to move first. Then he kissed me.

And right then, I knew that I loved him. Moreover, I would never stop loving him. He was everything I liked and respected in other people, no matter what he had done in the past. I was drawn to him, he was drawn to me, and it would always be this way.

“I will never choose him over you,” he said, “and if you want me to, I will kill him today. But I have to talk to him first.”

I nodded. “I trust you.”

Then he was gone.

I closed my eyes, savoring the remainder of his taste on my lips.

I loved Stefan. It was good to think those words. It felt right. He was everything I wanted.

I wished I could have also claimed not to be afraid, but that I couldn’t do. Despite everything, it _was_ a one and a half century old relationship with a biological bond on top of it against something laughably young. Love was real, but so was time and kinship. Damon would try to talk himself out of it, and whatever he ended up saying, I wouldn’t be there.

But I had no choice, so I sat still, waited, and hoped.

* * *

“Elena.”

I opened my eyes. Stefan was back, and I knew from looking at him that he had not betrayed me. Without hesitating, I walked up to him and kissed him, and he returned the kiss.

“He wants to talk to you,” Stefan said after we parted.

“To me?” That was unexpected – but perhaps it shouldn’t have been. If Stefan had chosen me and would do as I wanted, then Damon’s only shot was to convince me to change plans.

“Do you want to go?”

“Yes.”

“You’re not afraid he’ll talk you out of it?”

I shook my head. “If he can’t hurt me, I’m not afraid of him. Not while I have this.” I took my pendant between two fingers. Stefan nodded and didn’t protest as I made for the stairs, alone. I didn’t know how well Damon’s hearing still functioned, so I walked up close to his cell.

“I’m listening.”

“Elena. You want... to save people, don’t you?”

I nodded.

“If there are other vampires... who kill people... you’d want to stop them, wouldn’t you? You’d be willing... to kill them... if it saves more human lives.”

I nodded again.

“If that is what you want, you’ll have to let me out.”

“Why?”

“Because if you do, I swear to you... I will make it my mission to kill vampires. Stefan and I... we work well together. Together... we can even take on vampires older than us. And most of them aren’t. They won’t stand a chance. No-one will stop us. We’ll bring... death to every vampire who’s ever killed another human. Only those with Stefan’s diet... or vampires who only feed on donor blood... will be spared. Think about it, Elena. We will save so many people... hundreds of thousands. Way more than I’ve ever killed in my own... bloody life as a serial killer. And you know you can trust me... because I’ll be doing what I like. And even if I slip up eventually... what does it matter... in the grand scheme of things?”

I took all of this in without saying a word or letting my face display any reaction. Stefan must have told him more about the way I thought. What Damon had said was essentially an appeal to my utilitarian ethics. It was calculated and even clever. He was targeting the one thing I wasn’t willing to compromise on, a carefully crafted attempt to persuade me to leave him alive.

But that didn’t mean he was wrong. And I didn’t even blame him for trying.

“And if you can forgive Stefan after what he’s done, you have to forgive me, too.”

“Okay,” I said, “offer noted. I need to think.” And I turned around and left.

* * *

“Elena,” said Stefan as I returned, “do you really think this way? Do you really think that saving a life makes up for taking a life?”

“Yes, really.”

“There’s never been a society that’s worked on that principle.”

“A moral principle doesn’t need to work as a law to be correct. Kant was just wrong about this.” I briefly wondered whether he’d know what I was talking about before I remembered his age and that there would hardly be a single philosopher that I knew about, but he didn’t. “Whether something makes for a good law depends on practical stuff that doesn’t have moral value. You can’t legally forgive people for murder because then you increase the incentive to commit murder, but morally, if you prevent a murder, you’ve _obviously_ done as much good as you’ve done harm if you’ve committed one. Both the world where you do neither and the world where you do both have one murder in them. They’re literally the same. Math does not make exceptions for human lives.”

Stefan didn’t reply, which I was grateful for. I needed to _think._

It was dawning on me that I had approached the question wrong. I hadn’t taken every aspect into account.

I had to start again. To start again, all the way from the beginning.

_What do I want?_

The first of my goals was simple. I wanted to live. I wanted to evade the disease of aging, to outlive the earth and the sun, to survive until the death of the universe, then prevent the death of the universe and go on living forever. I wanted to _live._ I wanted to live one more day, and tomorrow I’d still want to live one more day, and this would always be true. I wanted to live forever.

The second was not much harder. I wanted to save as many people as possible from dying, no matter the cause. Ending the perpetual mass-murder of humans was a part of that.

And third, I wanted to be with Stefan and to protect him and everyone else I loved, now and in the foreseeable future.

That was what I wanted.

What could I do to get it?

I had never thought of myself as important. I had never considered myself to be something more than a pawn on the chessboard. By the time I would be old, humanity would either have figured out a way to save me or not; if they had, I would take it; otherwise, I would die. And that was it. I had never assumed – nor even considered – that I could be more than an observer myself.

But now...

... there were so few vampires, and most of them seemed to have no ambition, let alone creativity... most of them were too incompetent to even get their own diet under control... and I _was_ creative, and I had Stefan by my side...

It was clear that merely changing species would not be enough to meet my goals. The idea that vampires were immortal was a fantasy. Vampires were immune to precisely one killer, namely disease (including aging), and more resistant to physical injury, but that was it. Moreover, the world was moving. A thousand years ago, the only way for a human to ever defeat a vampire would have been to drive a stake through their heart while they were asleep. Now, any human could kill a vampire by blowing their head off with a gun. And anyone who thought that the current phase of humanity, this stage of rapid progress, was _permanent_ or _normal_ or _stable_ was delusional. It was obvious that it would end, one way or another, and it would probably end _soon,_ relatively speaking _._ A vampire who was, say, a thousand years old would almost certainly not double their lifespan before the world had either ended or transformed such that their powers had faded into irrelevance. If we beat aging, colonized the stars, or even created AI – what would it matter that you moved around a little quicker, healed a little faster, and were a little stronger?

Becoming a vampire would keep me alive until things got real, which was good. It was a necessary first step. But everything after that was still a dark and scary unknown.

But now... perhaps I could do better than to stumble into that unknown blindly.

So far, I had nothing. Worse, I didn’t know what kinds of steps I would ultimately have to take to make a difference, to obtain power. But I knew that I wanted to. Not for its own sake, but because everyone else was insane. Because I was the only person whose judgment I trusted.

I didn’t know what the road ahead looked like, so I might as well start small. Gather experience, make preparations. Start in Mystic Falls. There was a lot that could be done here. Vampires might not be immortal, and their advantage over humans might fade over time, but right now, it was still immense. It was one thing that they were fast and strong, but the real story was the mind control. In today’s world, almost every person occasionally interacted with the public, and the ability to control any one of them... easily, cheaply, and reliably...

I hadn’t even spent five minutes thinking about all the doors this opened, and already, I had come up with numerous ideas.

If I had a month... two months... perhaps a year without distractions...

(Stefan probably didn’t even have weapons. How effective would, say, a flamethrower be against other vampires? And how hard could it possibly be to get one, or to get any other devices you wanted, when all institutions were governed by people who would grant you your every wish?)

And once I was better placed, less vulnerable... perhaps I would meet Stefan’s mentor, a much more powerful vampire, and almost certainly a good person... and from there...

My gaze drifted through the room, but nothing of what I saw made it into my awareness. In the past hour, a door that I had never dreamed of stepping through had opened. A sense of determination, of passion, took over, and for a moment, it felt real. For a moment, I really believed it. I saw myself in the future, at the center of a network of allies, all of whom determined to value human life, compassionate but also smart, ruthless... an alliance that was truly effective, led with creativity and strategy, all devoted to a greater cause...

And then, reality sank in.

I was a nervous wreck, literally unable to hit another person without breaking into tears, even if that person consented. (Caroline and I had once run this experiment.) And in the long-term, the goal would have to be something like, ‘establish an authority among vampires, outlaw the murder of humans, and enforce this rule mercilessly’.

And it still needed to be done.

But I wasn’t the one who would do it.

I probably had part of the required skill set. I was ambitious enough, and perhaps I was smart enough. But I was not scrupulous – in the abstract, sure, but not in practice. And I was not a fighter. I would never be able to stand up to my enemies. And I had no charm. I would never inspire people to follow me.

Unless...

“Stefan,” I asked, “does your personality change when you become a vampire?”

“It does. All of your natural traits get amplified. When I was a human, I already cared deeply for other people and how they felt. If they were hurting, I felt their pain, and I felt guilty if I was the one who caused it.”

I closed my eyes once more. That was the exact opposite of what I had needed to hear.

I would essentially become a walking waterfall.

It made sense, of course – it explained Stefan’s ability to instinctively know what I did and didn’t want him to do and say. It also made sense of Damon, and it helped explain why intentional murderers were _rare_ among vampires but much _less rare_ than among humans. It fit perfectly.

And it was the absolute and indisputable death sentence to any aspiration I had to be the face of a movement. I shuddered to even imagine how easily I’d lose my composure once I was a vampire.

Perhaps I _would_ still be able to change history. But it would have to be from the second row, working through someone else.

What was my calling, then? Should I wander the world to find the right person, someone who had all the character traits I lacked, turn them, and push them to do what needed to be done?

I opened my eyes.

My gaze fell onto Stefan.

Had I already found him? Stefan had many of the attributes of someone who could lead a movement. He was strong. He had amazing self-control. He was principled. And he looked the part – he was tall and handsome. He had told me that vampires didn’t have special talents, but that wasn’t quite true – they _had_ talents, it was just that those talents didn’t cross over into the supernatural. Stefan’s ability to understand emotions would be an invaluable trait in a leader. Unlike me, _he_ would be charming, and no doubt persuasive.

What he lacked was a non-insane view of ethics. But that’s what I was for.

It was clear that he felt enormous guilt – and rightly so. If I could convince him that the only way to redeem himself was to do what I wanted... I wouldn’t have to lie about it. The mass murder of humans _did_ need to be stopped.

I mulled all of this over, then remembered the decision at hand.

But...

... it wasn’t much of a decision.

Damon was volatile, and I had no reason to trust his word, nor any mechanism of enforcing it. Most importantly, he had been wrong – I wasn’t a true utilitarian. A true utilitarian valued all life equally. I valued my own life above everything else. Even if he was my best chance at saving as many people as possible (and I doubted it), I wouldn’t take the personal risk. I wanted to _live._ Keeping a deranged psychopath with the ability to kill me at the tip of a mood swing around was reckless at best and suicidal at worst.

And then, there were my friends. Even if Damon still cared about me, would that extend to Jenna, to Caroline, or to Jeremy?

In the end, my ambitions didn’t change anything. Damon’s presence was as detrimental for plans to live a normal life as it was for plans to make a difference. And anyway, going around murdering every vampire who killed people regularly... even if it were feasible and I could trust Damon not to betray me... it might be doing the world a favor, might be better than doing nothing, but it was not a stable solution. And the world _needed_ a stable solution. Compulsion had to be the only reason why the existence of vampires was still a secret, but even that wouldn’t do it for much longer. Not when more and more people walked around with cameras in their pockets, and surveillance became more and more common. Sooner or later, the world would know, and at that point, if there still wasn’t even an effort to stop the murders, the world was going to have a massive problem.

“Damon needs to die.”

“Did you really spend all this time considering his offer?”

My mouth twitched. “Not exactly. I had some other things to think through first.”

“I don’t think he ever intended to help you in what he said.”

“Probably. You know him better than I do. But even if he did, I wouldn’t accept his offer. Which means that it doesn’t matter.”

“So we kill him.”

“Yes. That’s what I think is right.”

Stefan nodded, and I knew that the decision was final.

“I have to get something. Wait here.”

He disappeared into the direction of the front door. It took me a while, then I realized that the upcoming task would require some kind of a weapon. And indeed, when Stefan returned, he was carrying a massive branch.

“I don’t have guns,” he murmured, “and I wouldn’t want to use one. If I do this, this is the way.”

Still moving with supernatural speed, he was over at the counter and produced a knife. For a human, it would probably have taken hours to do this work, and they would probably ruin the blade in the process (that certainly wasn’t meant for this purpose). But Stefan had superhuman strength, and he wasn’t afraid to use it. Every stroke cut out large pieces of wood, and he didn’t stop until what had once been a branch had become a perfect stake.

Around him had accumulated an impressively large pile of splinters.

I saw his hand shivering as he took the device into his fist. I wanted to tell him that it didn’t need to be _right now,_ that we could wait a few more days until Damon was no longer conscious, but I kept my mouth shut. Saying anything would be stupid – if would give him time to change his mind, and it would be cruel toward Damon. I wanted him to die, not to suffer.

“Do you want to be there?”

I hadn’t considered it – the practicalities were insignificant compared to the outcome. But now, I had to make a decision.

On an emotional level, I did _not_ want to be there. Witnessing a murder would be horrible. I _dreaded_ being there. And I didn’t need to. I trusted Stefan. If I said no right now, he’d go down without me, and all I’d have to do was to wait.

And yet...

Even though I didn’t care much about courage, pushing Stefan to do this, to take his own brother’s life, and then not having the guts to even _observe_ it... I would feel pathetic.

“I’ll be there.”

“You don’t have to be, Elena. There’s no reason to be ashamed for wanting to sit it out. I won’t think less of you.”

It was almost scary how well Stefan understood me.

“But _I_ would think less of me. I need to be there.”

Stefan said nothing, but I knew he had accepted my decision.

“We should tell Zach. He has a right to know.” I nodded, and Stefan left at vampire speed. Zach, apparently, had been in his private room the entire time. The boarding house was huge; I had no idea how many rooms there were. I waited for about a minute, then both of them returned.

“You’ll be there, too?” I asked hoarsely.

“I gave Stefan the vervain,” he said. “And I told him that Damon needed to be stopped. This is also on me.”

Stefan left us no time; he didn’t move at vampire speed, but he didn’t slow down, either. Zach took after him at once, and I followed, my heart beating violently.

A part of me – a big part – just wanted to go back. _If you had just gone slower,_ it said, _perhaps_ _they’d be done before you get there_.

Of course, that was a fantasy. I had said I would be there; therefore, Stefan wouldn’t do it until I was. And indeed, when I entered the room, I saw him waiting beside the cell, holding the stake behind his back. Only when we were both close – _much_ _too close not to see, far too close go back now go back –_ did he retrieve the weapon and entered the cell.

“ **No!”** Damon shouted; I hadn’t thought he could still be so loud, “ _Stefan, no, don’t”_

“don’t”

_“don’t”_

_“Stefan”_

_“no”_

_“no, Stefan”_

_“ **NO** ”_

and it had happened so fast

soon there was silence

it was as though i hadn’t been there

even though i could recall it

the memory

of the stake finding its target

When Stefan left the cell, his brother was no longer moving.


	9. Damon, #4

Damon was dead.

It was over.

I forced myself to look at him. His face was unnaturally white, and the stake was still stuck in his heart. There was no blood at all.

I wanted to apologize. I had to apologize. Not for the decision; it had been the right one; but for the pain I had caused Stefan. He didn’t deserve it, and that was on me. I needed to apologize.

Instead, I broke into tears. I felt disgusted at myself. I had no right to cry. I had been the one who had caused this, _I had made Stefan kill his own brother_ , and now I was the one crying, and it was _pathetic_. But that thought did nothing to stop the tears. And I knew that it couldn’t be any other way; I had seen someone die in front of me, but it was wrong, so wrong...

“You did the right thing, Stefan,” said Zach, being the first to break the silence. “Damon wouldn’t have just killed me, he would have killed more innocents. It was the only way.”

I couldn’t look at Stefan, I couldn’t, it was so much easier to stare at Damon’s body, but I still heard his voice, and I knew he wasn’t crying, was so much stronger than I was, even now...

“I know.”

Then, I felt his arms around me.

“ _No,_ ” I protested, “it’s my fault, Stefan, it’s my fault, I pushed you to do this, you shouldn’t-”

“Elena,” he just said, and I stopped. “You don’t have to apologize. You pushed me because it was the right thing to do. You know it was. And if I hadn’t done it...” I looked up to him, and he gently brushed a tear off my cheek. “... he would have killed more people. I know that now. I was lying to myself when I thought he could change. If I hadn’t done it now, I would have regretted my choice for the rest of my life.” He pulled me close to him. “Or... maybe not. Maybe I’m not that strong. Maybe I would have forgiven him. And then, no-one would have ever stopped him. Thousands more would have died. Zach’s right. You’re right. This was the only way.”

The fact that he wasn’t angry only increased the guilt I felt. I knew he was hurt, even if he didn’t blame me for it.

“We have to get rid of the body,” said Zach. “He can’t stay here.”

“We’ll go out and burn him.”

“You can’t completely burn a human body. The skeleton remains. You’ll have to bury the rest.”

But Stefan shook his head. “You can burn a vampire. Vampires are made to be vulnerable to fire. Damon’s body will burn completely. I’ve seen it happen before.”

I sobbed, burying my head against Stefan’s breast. I could feel his hand gently stroking my hair.

“Where do you want to do it?” asked Zach’s voice.

“It doesn’t make a difference. If there’s something left of him, it won’t be bound to his body now. We can take him somewhere into the woods. We won’t leave a trace. No-one will find out what happened.”

“Right now?” I asked weakly.

“We can’t wait. His body won’t stay in shape for long. Do you want to come?”

I nodded.

“Wait here.”

He waited for me to nod again before he disappeared.

“I hated Damon,” said Zach after a while. “He threatened me, and he killed people, but it was more than that. Every time I looked at him, something in me just... it’s hard to explain, and I don’t really understand it myself.” He looked at me. “Thank you for convincing Stefan. You did a good thing.”

I just nodded. Neither of us said anything else until Stefan returned.

“Take this,” he said, handing me a backpack. “Zach, I can’t carry more than two people at once.”

“I don’t need to be there,” said Zach. “It’s done. You’ve brought peace back to Mystic Falls, Stefan. I don’t care how we get rid of his body, as long as no-one can trace it back to this place.”

He gave me one last look, then he disappeared.

“How do we do this?” I asked. I hadn’t quite understood the plan.

“I’ll carry Damon with my hands, and you on my back, if that’s alright with you.”

I nodded. Stefan went into the cell and picked up Damon’s body in both arms. Then, he positioned himself such that I could climb onto his back, putting my arms around his neck.

“Are you comfortable?”

“It’s good enough.”

“Make sure you hold on tight. Remember that it’s almost impossible for you to hurt me.”

I strengthened my grip.

“Won’t anyone see us?” I asked while Stefan brought us to the entrance at human speed.

“It’s dark enough that I can hear people before they get too close.” We stepped outside, and he closed the door behind us. “Ready?”

“Ready.”

“I’ll try to be careful, but it will still feel strange. Closing your eyes might help.”

I closed my eyes.

Then, Stefan ran. I could feel the pull from his acceleration, but it was easy to hold on in spite of it. More unexpected was the wind – it was, I realized, just like sticking your head out of a car as it drove at full speed across the highway. But it, too, was manageable.

I didn’t talk and kept my eyes closed. I didn’t know how far Stefan intended to go, but at his speed, it couldn’t take long. After a while, I got used to the sensations.

I examined my feelings more closely. While I felt an immense amount of guilt still, most of it was toward Stefan. If I thought about Damon, about what I had done to him, there was mostly emptiness, and I knew that whatever amount of guilt I did feel was misguided. It was due to the blindness of human emotions, the same blindness that was the root cause of humanity’s collective insanity. Damon’s death was salient because it had happened in front of me, because I had _seen_ it. But whatever amount of worth there had been to his life, whatever amount of happiness he had felt or had evoked in others, it was a snowflake in the blizzard that was the lives of the people I had saved. Their happiness, anger, delight, sadness, passion, fulfillment, disappointment, resolve, satisfaction, and love – it was immeasurable. I if I could, I would have learned each and every one of their names and added them to the list below Zach’s, the list of people I had saved.

I could imagine a world where, every time someone made a decision, they themselves experienced a tiny sliver of the feelings this caused for other people. In this world, no-one ever murdered, and those with power delighted in helping the poor, for doing so was the greatest feeling in the world. Crime, inequality, and suffering, though still existent, were low.

That was not the world we lived in. But it was good to remember that this was the only thing that stood in the way. Strangers mattered. People whose names and faces I would never learn but who were affected by my actions, they mattered, mattered every bit as much as my closest friends. It was the one thing I knew to be true with certainty, and it was the reason why, even though I might have made numerous mistakes in the past two weeks, even though all of my ambitions might yet end up leading nowhere, nothing but delusions of a hopelessly naive high school girl, pushing for Damon’s death had been the right thing to do. It was the one thing I knew I had done well.

I halted my thoughts there and resolved to hold even more tightly onto Stefan. Eventually, I could feel myself being pushed against his back and knew he was slowing down. I waited for him to stay still to open my eyes. I didn’t recognize the place, but I noticed how much darker it was here, where trees surrounded us on all sides, than it had been back in Mystic Falls.

“I scouted the area before settling here,” said Stefan. “There’s no-one nearby. Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” Stefan went onto his knees, and I slid off his back. “What now?”

“We dig a hole.” He lowered Damon’s body onto the ground (the stake was still stuck in his heart) and held out his hand. I understood, took off my backpack, and handed it to him. He produced a shovel and a canister of what was presumably gasoline.

Then, he started digging. It was a fascinating sight – similar to him carving a stake out of an oversized branch. My eyes were just barely able to keep up with his movements.

I sat there and watched, thinking about how these details were always lost in stories. If the bad guy was killed in a book or movie, it was usually taken for granted that the body could be dealt with. I had never wasted time pondering the details. And this was just the easy version – I had a vampire on my side who could monitor the surrounding area and perform physical tasks in a fraction of the time it would take a human. I shuddered to think about what I would do if I were on my own.

When Stefan was done and returned to my side, I noticed that his breathing had accelerated.

“You do get exhausted,” I observed.

“Yes. We do. It just takes longer.” He took Damon’s body, and – gently – put him into the hole. I wondered what he was feeling and then decided to ask.

“Love,” said Stefan. “Hate. Guilt. Mostly sadness.”

He took the canister, pouring a moderate amount onto his dead brother. Finally, he produced a match.

He lit it.

“I’m sorry, Damon. You left me no choice. I’m sorry.” And without hesitating, he threw it into the hole.

As soon as the flames lit up the place, relief flooded my system. It was entirely unexpected; Damon had _already_ been dead. Burning his remains shouldn’t have made a difference, but it had. Apparently, I had needed every last trace of him to disappear to truly feel free.

I didn’t cry, not this time. Nor did I feel like I had just witnessed another death. Relief was the only emotion I felt. Relief that it was truly, irreversibly over.

I noticed the pressure against my shoulder increasing; Stefan had his arm laid around me and was probably doing it unconsciously. My first instinct was to ignore it – Stefan was the one who was in pain, not me. Whatever amount of discomfort I might feel was insignificant. But then I thought better of it. It might not mean much to me, but Stefan wouldn’t want to hurt me, no matter the circumstances. Enduring it purposefully would be stupid at best and selfish at worst.

So I tapped his arm with my other hand. “Too tight,” I murmured.

“Oh.” His grip loosened. “Sorry.”

“I love you.”

It hadn’t been planned, I hadn’t known I was going to say it, had not even realized it until the words were out. It felt horribly out of place; I should have waited until the next day, until the shadow of Damon’s death wasn’t quite so present. But it was true. I loved Stefan, far more than I had ever loved anyone else. And I knew he loved me. As I felt my heartbeat accelerating, I knew that my only fear was that I might have hurt him even more, that confessing now might have put a strain on the moment. I wasn’t afraid of his response because I knew what it would be. I could see it whenever he looked at me. Even if I had hurt him, it wouldn’t matter. Nothing I could do would change it.

“I love you, too.”

“I’m sorry for saying it now, I didn’t mean to, I’m-”

He didn’t let me finish. It was a long and passionate kiss, and unlike everything I had experienced before.

The flames were still burning. In fact, they were getting hotter.

“This happened last time, too,” said Stefan. “The only other time that I’ve seen a vampire burn. I don’t know why. But it means he’s close.”

Fast – much faster than a human would burn – Damon’s body was consumed by the flames. By the end, they were getting so hot that we had to step back further. And then, it was over.

I stepped forward, taking a look into the hole. It was just as Stefan had said: there was nothing left but ash, unnaturally white and unnaturally even. There was no sign that any part of him, no matter how small, had survived the process.

Stefan picked up the shovel, putting the loosened soil back onto the grave. He was done in no time. Zach had no reason to worry: no-one who came by this place would have any idea what had happened.

“Come on,” said Stefan, “let’s go home.”


	10. Revelations, #1

Stefan brought me straight home, then he left. I didn’t know how late it was, but I was drained, so I did the minimum to prepare for the night and went straight to bed. There was nothing that couldn’t wait until tomorrow.

* * *

I was decaying, slowly withering away from a lack of blood. Damon was guarding my cell. He said that he would give me just a little bit of blood, barely enough to keep my body from mummifying. I would stay conscious, awake forever, always hungry, always starving, always suffering.

Now, he put a body into my cell. I looked down and saw that it was Stefan. He was human and still alive, but he was bleeding. I couldn’t resist the hunger. I fed on him. Damon laughed. I had killed both of them now, he told me. I knew that I would stay in the cell forever.

I awoke bathed in sweat, my heart beating violently.

“Screw... you... Damon,” I murmured. I cried for a while, overwhelmed by a mixture of relief and horror. Then, gradually, the feelings receded, and tiredness took their place. Eventually, I drifted back into sleep.

* * *

When I awoke again, it was with a horrible taste in my mouth and a single image of an otherwise forgotten dream stuck in my mind. It was of Damon, standing tall despite his paper-white skin and the stake in his heart.

I could deal with nightmares, but the taste had to go. Groggily, I got out of bed and made it into the bathroom. Shuffling toward the sink, I tried my best to purge it with tap water. Then, I stripped out of my clothes and stepped into the shower. It seemed to help; not only was it nice and warm, but it was almost as if I was washing the last remains of Damon’s presence out of my skin. I took far more time than I usually did, and when I stepped out, I felt genuinely better.

I returned to my room, got dressed, then checked the time.

It was five past noon.

That meant two things. One, I had slept for about twelve hours, give or take. And two, Jenna might already be home.

I went downstairs and found her in the kitchen, having just returned from campus. I had to remind myself periodically that, in the midst of all this, she was still trying to work toward a degree in psychology. I wasn’t going to school anymore, but even if I were, I had no illusions about there being an equivalence.

I lost no time bringing her up to speed. Jenna had been by my side the entire time; she had a right to know what had happened. At no point during the story did she criticize me, but it was clear that hearing what I had done was a shock to her. I hadn’t told her everything that had gone into the decision, but I also hadn’t been shy about describing my essential reasons and how strongly I felt about them.

“I’m glad,” she said when I asked how she felt about it. “And I would never tell you that you did the wrong thing, Elena. We both know I’m not an authority figure to you. I just know that I could never have done it.”

“I couldn’t live with myself if I _hadn’t_ done it,” I said. “As long as you can still look at me...”

As a response, Jenna hugged me.

I felt a warmth in my heart, which turned into a shiver when, just as I expected her to let go, she tightened her grip.

There were a lot of unspoken feelings between us. She didn’t used to be a big part of my life, not while my mom had still been there. But after she had died, Jenna and I had become close – much more so than I had ever anticipated. I had never told her – might not have even realized it myself – but at some point, she had become more important to me than Jeremy or Bonnie; even more than Caroline. And Jenna probably felt the same way about me – Logan had cheated on her, and although there were plenty of people she was friendly with, I didn’t know if any of them truly meant something to her.

I tried my best to return her gesture, to put as much of my love into it as I could.

“Thank you,” whispered Jenna. I didn’t manage a response, but I knew it wouldn’t matter. Jenna of all people would understand.

We parted.

“Um... Bonnie...” Jenna cleared her throat. “Bonnie’s... her, um, her funeral. You might have forgotten about it-”

I had.

“-but it’s today. At four PM.”

The painful stitch returned – for the first time in a while.

“... right.” I forced myself to focus on the problem at hand. “Her grandmother. She’ll be there. That might be a problem.”

“Why? You mean-”

“I haven’t asked Stefan what he knows about witches, but Bonnie told me that her grandmother told _her_ that she was one, and given what’s happened, that probably checks out. So...”

“You think she’s a witch, too?”

“Yeah. And she might be a really powerful one.”

“Okay, but why is that a problem? Do you think she would do anything to you?”

I shook my head. “No. Not to me, no. But maybe to Stefan, if she knows what he is. Maybe she thinks all vampires are the same. I have no idea. I would have wanted him to be there during the funeral, but now, I guess I better call him over first. If you don’t mind.”

“No,” said Jenna, “of course not.”

I fetched my phone and began typing a message. I decided to invite him for one thirty – that would give me at least a little bit of time. My last meal was about twenty hours back, and I longed for some time to think and to write.

* * *

“Hi,” said Stefan as I opened the door for him. “Can I come in?”

“Well, I invited you here,” I said vaguely, then turned around as if to go upstairs.

Stefan didn’t follow. Demonstrably slowly, I turned around again.

“What would happen if someone threw you inside?”

I was, of course, being silly. There was no good reason to test my theory in this way when I could have just asked. My only motivation was to show off the fact that I had figured out yet another detail just by myself.

But there were worse things than trying to impress the person I loved.

“I don’t know. I don’t think it would kill me, but it would probably... weaken me and cause me pain. How did you figure it out?”

“Please, come in,” I said, and Stefan stepped inside. We exchanged a kiss.

“I’ve noticed it at the founder’s party. You asked Mrs. Lockwood if you could come in when it was obvious that we were invited, and there were people in line behind us. It was still just a guess,” I added truthfully, “but there was enough evidence to try it out. I wrote about it in my journal earlier.”

I stopped, having reached the upper floor. “This is my room,” I said, pointing into the respective direction. “But first...” I went to Jenna’s and knocked.

“Come in.”

“Jenna, Stefan,” I said, “Stefan, Jenna. I’ve told you he’s a vampire,” I added toward Jenna, “and I’ve told him that I’ve told you, so there’s no need for secrets.”

“Pleased to meet you,” said Stefan politely.

“I won’t tell anyone about you,” responded Jenna, sounding nervous. “Elena figured it out because of all the people who died, but I know you didn’t kill anyone.”

“Only rabbits,” said Stefan. I giggled, and I could feel the atmosphere in the room getting noticeably more relaxed. “Did Elena tell you about the invitations?”

“No...?” Jenna looked at me.

“I’ve only just confirmed it,” I said, waiting for Stefan to explain.

“Vampires can’t enter homes unless they’re invited in by the owner of the house, or someone related to the owner. Once a vampire is invited, the invitation cannot be taken back; he can come in whenever he wants. We have no reason to believe there’s another vampire in town, but you might still want to be... careful.”

“What if you invited a vampire before they turned?” I asked.

“That doesn’t count. You have to be invited as a vampire.”

“I’ll remember it,” said Jenna. Then, “I saw your name on the invitation for the original founder’s party in 1864. That was you, wasn’t it?”

Stefan bowed his head. “I was turned in the same year.”

“So you’re...”

“One hundred and sixty-one years old.”

“Wow. Doesn’t it get boring?”

“No.” Stefan made a pause. “In the early years after I’ve turned, it would often be... frustrating that I couldn’t work on something for more than a couple of years. I always had to move before people noticed that I wasn’t growing older. There are many things I would have liked to spend more time on, and more that I haven’t tried at all. So... no. It’s not boring.”

“Aren’t people getting boring, though?” I asked. This was something I’d always wondered – even in the abstract, before I had known that vampires existed. “You’re going to school here – haven’t you seen it all before?

“Some people are more interesting than others. But schools have changed a lot. And in the past century, I’ve mostly lived on my own. And you’re not boring,” he added, making me giggle.

“But we must both seem like children to you,” said Jenna.

Stefan shook his head. “In many ways, I think Elena has figured things out better than I or Damon had. Time can bring... wisdom, but only if you use it.”

“Damon did not act like he was one and a half centuries old,” I said in agreement. I had planned to avoid bringing him up, but since Stefan had done it first, I figured he must be fine with it. “But Stefan does.”

“Are you cool with talking about...” Jenna asked.

“It hurts to think about him, but I do it anyway. And I’m still glad that... I did the right thing. The... the pain will pass.”

No-one seemed to know what to say after that, so I decided to move on to the next item on the menu.

“Let’s go – we have stuff to discuss.”

We left.

“I’ve wondered what your room would look like,” said Stefan as we entered it.

I looked around. There was the safe, of course, and one of my journals was lying on the bed, and another one on the floor. The bedsheets were laced with so many spots of ink that it looked like part of the design at first glance. (Given how often I wrote while lying in bed, I knew I had no chance to avoid them altogether, so I figured there was no point trying to be careful.) Aside from that, everything was fairly normal – probably less decorated than most rooms of people my age. I didn’t own any posters.

I sat down on the edge of my bed.

“Bonnie’s funeral is today.”

Stefan nodded, indicating that he’d already known.

“It’s a safe bet that her grandmother will be there. She’s probably a witch – we weren’t sure if...”

“Sheila is a witch, but her family has a long tradition of hiding my identity. I don’t think she will want to hurt me. I killed the man who murdered her daughter.”

“You’re not afraid that she kills you without asking questions – could she?”

“She probably could. The Bennett witches I’ve met were really powerful, and witches can cast fire. But no, I’m not afraid.”

Our eyes met.

“But it wouldn’t be smart to take the risk even if it’s small,” he added.

That gave me a wave of satisfaction – mostly because it showed that he respected my way of thinking. Of course, it was far more important that he adopted it.

“I can go first and explain what’s happened,” I suggested. “If she reacts reasonably, I’ll text you. I can’t see her doing anything to me.”

Stefan nodded.

“If you don’t have anything else that’s urgent,” he then said, “there are some things I need to tell you.”

I thought about it. I _did_ have things to discuss, but I had a feeling that I’d want to know what he was about to tell me.

“Go on.”

“I promised not to lie to you – and I didn’t. I just left some things out. They weren’t important for the decision we had to make, and hearing them would have upset you. But I should have told you before we kissed. I didn’t know it was going to happen.”

Hearing this, I felt a warmth that I hadn’t felt in a long time, perhaps never. It was just _so nice_ how considerate he was toward what I wanted. He had clearly understood how important truth was to me.

I had never met anyone who was even a little bit like that. But I suppressed the urge to kiss him right then and there – I still didn’t know what I was about to hear.

“That sounds reasonable. Thank you for telling me now – it means a lot.”

Stefan nodded. He slid his hands into his pocket and produced a photograph.

“Katherine. She... looked like you.”

He showed me the photo. It hadn’t been an exaggeration – Katherine looked _exactly_ like me.

“Huh.”

I figured he was worried I’d question his affinity for me, given that I and his ex-girlfriend looked like clones. If so, he was wrong. The only thing I was worried about was what it meant for me. Was she my ancestor? Would vampires who had known her see me and think I was her?

“Was her personality-”

“I think it’s possible that you two are the least similar people I’ve ever met. And I’ve met a lot of people.”

I nodded. Given that Damon had described her as manipulative, this wasn’t surprising.

“Does it bother you?” he asked.

“I’m a bit worried that someone could recognize me as her and what that could lead to. But in terms of us, no. It’s...”

It was a bit embarrassing, but I decided to say it anyway to further the openness-thing we seemed to have going on.

“It’s kind of hot, actually. It makes me feel weirdly powerful.” _That you’re so attracted to how I look_ , I added mentally. The implication should be obvious enough.

Stefan reached out and took my hand. “I wouldn’t like her now. Physically, of course, but I wouldn’t like being around her. I’m not even sure how much of what I felt was real. She compelled me to drink her blood for weeks without me remembering it.”

“Thank you for saying that.” I smiled. “Do you think she’s my ancestor? Vampires can’t have children, can they? So she must have had a baby before she was turned?”

“I don’t know.”

I nodded.

“There’s something else,” said Stefan.

“Yes?”

“This one is probably... more upsetting. It can wait until after the funeral. It’s your choice.”

I shook my head. “Tell me.”

It wasn’t a choice – there was no way I could spend the coming hours without knowing.

“Are you close to Jenna?”

“Yes,” I said emphatically.

“Then, you might want to call her for this.”

 _Oh crap._ I had no idea what could possibly warrant Jenna’s presence, but it sure sounded like it was a big deal.

I went to her room and got her to follow me back. She took my desk chair and sat down in front of us.

“Jenna,” said Stefan, “I’m sorry for doing this. You may think I don’t have a right to. But it’s more important to me not to have secrets from Elena.” He made a pause. I looked at Jenna. Her eyes were wide open. If I read it right, she knew what he was talking about.

“You can tell her if you want.”

I turned to my aunt.

“Jenna?”

“ _I’m so sorry!”_ Jenna blurted out, “I’m so sorry Elena! It was your mother’s job to tell you and I didn’t think I’d have to and I wanted to tell you when you became eighteen and then the vampire thing happened and I realized it was absurd not to treat you as an adult and keep it from you but I couldn’t tell you while the vampire stuff was going on and, and, and I would have told you _,_ especially after today, I would have told you _soon_ I swear to god.” She made a pause. The only time I had ever seen her this upset before was when she had despaired over Jeremy taking drugs and skipping school.

“You were adopted.”

_Ouch._

Predictably, I started crying, even though I couldn’t even place the reason.

“I’m so sorry, I’m so so sorry-”

I cut her off by hugging her.

“It’s okay,” I said under tears, “I forgive you.”

“You- really? Just like that?”

“Yes. Look.” I pushed her away at arm’s length. “You _should_ have told me. I don’t know what it is with people thinking other people can’t handle knowing things. But I _get_ it – it hasn’t been that long since the accident, and it _was_ my mother’s job. It’s not like you waited years to tell me. And there was a reason. And I believe you that you were going to tell me soon. It’s okay. But please remember,” I added while wiping my eyes, “how reasonable I am about things like this. If ever you think I’ll be mad at you for something, just _tell_ me. I’ll _always_ want to know.”

Jenna nodded. “I promise. Thank you.”

“So, tell me what you know.”

“Your... your dad was about to leave the office one night,” began Jenna, ”when this girl showed up. She was sixteen, a runaway, and about to give birth. He delivered her baby and gave her a place to stay, but a few days later, she disappeared. Your parents had been trying so hard to have a baby, but it just... it hadn’t happened, and Miranda really wanted to be a mom. I think that’s what she wanted more than anything else. So they just kept you. And your dad forged the birth certificate.”

My father had been a doctor, so that part made sense.

“What else do you know about her?”

“Just her name. Isobel.”

“And you?” I turned toward Stefan.

“Nothing.”

“How did you know?”

“I checked the city records. Your birth certificate held up, but nothing else did. There was no record of your mother ever giving birth.”

“Yeah,” said Jenna, “if someone really looked, it would have never held up. Your parents were hoping that no-one would.”

“Okay,” I said, “I’m not sure how I feel about this. Give me a minute.”

I closed my eyes, thinking.

I loved my parents, and I was sure that they had loved me. I had already accepted that were weren’t similar. They should have told me and hadn’t done so, but I couldn’t say I was surprised. I knew them too well. They had _loved_ me, but they hadn’t _listened_ to me. And as far as I could tell, that was perfectly normal. Parents pretended to listen to their children because they knew that’s what parents were supposed to do, but they didn’t _really_ listen. If they had truly known me, they’d never have decided to keep this information from me for so long. The risk that I would stop loving them had been zero. They could have told me years ago, and nothing would have changed.

Those thoughts left a bit of a bitter taste in my mouth, but I knew they were true.

Still – I didn’t have their DNA – so what?

No, this didn’t change how I felt about my parents. My _biological_ parents, on the other hand...

I wanted to meet them. It was undeserved; my biological mother had done nothing for me except what nature had forced on her. She had clearly not wanted me. This didn’t make her a bad person; I didn’t know how her pregnancy had come to be, and it was fine not to want children. But it also meant that there was no logical reason why I should want to meet her. But I did. I had believed my biological parents to be dead – if I got to meet them after all, a part of the wound might heal.

I opened my eyes.

“I want to search for them,” I said, “but not today. Not anytime soon.”

I looked at Stefan, who nodded.

“Is there anything else?”

“Yes,” said Stefan. “About the... people who raised you.”

“My parents,” I said firmly.

“About your parents. And the accident. I already know the answer, but do you-”

“Yes.”

“Alright. Jenna, you don’t know this, either.”

He made a pause.

“Every couple of years, I come back here. To see Zach and see my home. Last spring, I was out in the woods, by Old Wickery Bridge, and I heard the accident. I was fast getting there, but not fast enough. I dove into the water and got to the car. Your dad was conscious, but he wouldn’t let me help him until I helped you. When I got back after saving you, it was too late.”

I had closed my eyes halfway through, but I could still feel the tears. After a while, I felt someone holding me, and I knew it was Stefan. I leaned into his embrace.

Both him and Jenna were patient, letting me remain like this while I digested the news. I could hear Jenna expressing shock and surprise and thanking Stefan for what he had done, and I could feel Stefan gently stroking my hair.

“Thank you,” I said eventually, my voice barely audible. I opened my eyes to get a look at Jenna.

“No-one knew how you got out of the car,” she said quietly. “They said it was a miracle.”

“I know.” I went back to closing my eyes. Stefan was still holding me, and I didn’t want it to end just yet. “If there’s nothing else... Jenna, could you...”

“Of course.” I could hear her stand up and leave the room.

“There is something else,” said Stefan.

I made a sound somewhere between a cough and a laugh. “Seriously?”

“Nothing as big. I don’t think it will bother you. But you should know that I... after I saved you and saw your face, I just had to get to know you. So, I... observed you for several months. Between the accident and the beginning of school, I was already watching you. You weren’t like Katherine, I knew that after the first day, but you also weren’t like anyone else I’d ever known. Eventually, I knew I had to do more than just watch. I didn’t know it would lure Damon into your life.”

Hearing this gave me a warm feeling and even helped me calm down. I _liked_ the thought of being the sole object of Stefan’s affections. I liked the idea that he was obsessed with me, no matter the reason. I liked the certainty that came with it, the feeling that he would love me no matter what.

Most of all, I liked the idea that he would never stop treating me the way he did.

“You’re right,” I cooed, “it doesn’t bother me.”


	11. Precautions

While my parents had still been alive, I had been in three different relationships, all of them with guys who had asked me out. The third and longest one had lasted for three months, and at the height of it... at the height of it, I might have claimed to be in love.

Alas, I hadn’t had a clue what love felt like. The difference between then and now was so vast that it would be absurd to call them by the same name. The truth was that none of my past relationships had ever reached the point where I had felt any real desire to just be with the other person. Now, leaning into Stefan’s arms and feeling his hand in my hair, I knew that I could have spent an hour like this without getting bored, without wanting more, because just being close to him was enough. Even though I knew that our time until the funeral was limited, I found myself delaying the moment that I had to return to reality... the funeral was only at four, it would be okay if I waited just a few more minutes...

Eventually, I gathered the willpower to open my eyes and draw back from Stefan’s embrace.

“Alright...” I murmured. “Assuming you don’t have anything else to drop on me...”

“No,” said Stefan, “I’ve told you everything.”

“Then, it’s time to talk preparations.” I picked up my diary from the bed beside us. Between breakfast and Stefan’s arrival, I had had about ten minutes to spend writing, which had been enough to come up with a small list.

“First thing. So...” I made a pause, thinking about how to best phrase my idea. “... I guess, statistically speaking, there’s probably no reason to worry about vampires. Based on what you’ve told me, my estimate was half a million deaths from vampires per year, worldwide. I haven’t gotten around to check yet, but it’s definitely below stuff like traffic accidents.”

“We do live in Mystic Falls,” Stefan said. “This town has a history with vampires. There was a time when many people knew that they existed, and some were actively hunting them.”

I nodded. “Right. And I was going to say, even if it is unlikely, I’d still like to be prepared. There could be some link to vampires we’re missing, and anyway, closing the door to normal accidents is nice, too.”

“But... how?”

“The most obvious thing for me is to drink vampire blood regularly. Then, worst case, I’ll turn instead of dying. As long as my body is still in good enough shape, at least.”

Stefan seemed taken aback.

“You want to drink... my blood?”

“Yes. Not for the sake of drinking it,” I added. “But it seems reckless not to.”

Stefan didn’t seem to know how to respond.

“It hasn’t crossed your mind,” I stated. He shook his head. “That’s _crazy._ You have a single trick that helps against a ton of different killers. Why would we ever not do it? I’m assuming you don’t need to be killed by a vampire for it to work.”

“No...”

“Then, unless you have a really good reason...?”

“Your injuries will heal unnaturally fast... someone might notice. But... alright,” he added reluctantly. “I’ll give you my blood.”

“It can just be a single drop per day if that’s enough to do the trick. Does the healing effect depend on how much you drink?”

“It does. I don’t know how much you need to come back if you die, but I’ve never seen it fail. It can’t be more than... I assume you want to be really sure that it works?”

I nodded.

“It can’t be more than about a spoonful. I’ve seen it work with that much before.”

“It could be different for different people.”

“Yeah, I... don’t think so. But I guess it could.”

“Let’s do double that, then, or something like that. I don’t wanna take any chances here. How long does it stay in my system?”

“At least twelve hours.”

“That’s less than I’d hoped... how much blood can you spare?”

“Enough. We can regenerate blood loss quickly by feeding more.”

“Can you store it?”

Stefan bowed his head. “Human blood lasts about forty days outside of the body. Vampire blood will last at least three months. Years if you freeze it.”

“That’s good. Then – how about we keep a supply of, say, half a gallon, and renew it about once per month? I drink a small amount four times a day. We should get a cooler or something; wouldn’t be good to store it in the fridge. And I’d like Jenna to drink it, too.”

“I’ll feel a lot better if you didn’t take it directly from me.”

“I would, too.” I hadn’t forgotten the anecdote about Katherine feeding him blood. “You don’t ever have to give it to me directly,” I added, “there’s no reason to.”

“Alright... I’ve never heard of anyone doing this, but it should work. Even if you suffer... severe injuries, you will heal after you transition. Just try not to lose a limb.”

“Will do.” I made a checkmark in my notes.

“Number two – vervain. When Damon tried to force me to kiss him, he seemed surprised when it didn’t work, so I assume you don’t notice whether the human is affected.”

“You can often tell from the way they answer questions,” said Stefan. “But you don’t feel a difference.”

“In that case, the obvious precaution is to wear it somewhere out of sight. I love my necklace...” I took the pendant in between two fingers “... but around the neck, everyone can see it.”

“They don’t know there’s vervain inside.”

“Right – but it’s an easy guess, and a vampire can always take it off just to be sure. So, I was thinking – I could use the necklace as a double bluff. I keep wearing it, but I also protect myself some other way. Then, if a vampire sees the necklace, they’ll assume I’m vulnerable once they take it off. Same for Jenna.”

Stefan nodded. I could feel that he was impressed. I suppressed a smile.

“Where would you wear it?”

“Maybe around the ankle? I could also ingest it regularly. It depends on how much you have and how much you need to be protected.”

“As far as I know, any amount does the trick.”

“It can’t _literally_ be any amount, though. What if it’s a microgram? It has to scale somehow. But, unlike with the transition stuff, it’s safe to test. For now, do you have a supply of jewelry?”

“I have a few pieces, but only to wear around the finger or neck.”

“Could you get it?” I was very much hoping he would take care of the practical side of things – that wasn’t my strength. I had no idea how I would go about getting something that both had holding capacity and could be worn somewhere out of sight.

To my delight, he nodded.

“Great!” I gave him a kiss. “We can make some tests today, after the funeral, to figure out how small of a dose will be safe, then you know what to look for. If a really small dose works, I might prefer to ingest it regularly, but we probably don’t need that for Jenna. And I’d like to have a few pieces in stock in case we ever want to protect someone else.”

“Alright. Was that all you wanted to discuss?”

“Of course not.” I threw a look at my notes. “That was just number two... I have six things in total. For now.”

I walked across the room to open my safe. At this point, I had done it often enough to have memorized all twelve numbers. “I wanted to show you my, um, collection of magic items,” I said, pulling out the piece of jewelry and the pocket watch.

“I took both of these,” I told him. “This one is very likely just a normal watch...” I held up the article in question. “... I just took it on a whim; it was the day after Bonnie had died, and I was desperate to do something. But this-”

“I don’t think that’s a normal watch,” Stefan interrupted me.

“...” I put the amulet aside, and instead handed him the watch. “It’s _actually_ magical?”

“I think so.”

“Unbelievable,” I murmured. “What does it do?”

“I think this is the device that was used by Johnathan Gilbert to track down vampires in 1864. If I’m right, it’s not just a watch, it’s also a compass – and it points to vampires.”

“But how-”

“You can take out the watch,” he said and did so, leaving only an empty case. “The compass is a separate piece. It needs to be put in. Was this from your father?”

“Yeah, he meant to give it to Jeremy. But before she died, mom agreed to donate it for the founder’s heritage display along with a bunch of other items. Jeremy took it out of the box, but Mrs. Lockwood noticed it and called me to get it. I took it from Jeremy, but-”

“-you told her that you didn’t find it,” Stefan finished for me.

“Does that mean they have the other part and want this one back?”

“Probably. It’s good that you kept this, Elena. If you had given it to them, they might have used it and-”

“-found you,” I completed the sentence. With the real killer gone, Stefan was, in all likelihood, the only vampire left in town. “Wow. That would have been...”

I paused, remembering what Stefan had done in the past – it was so easy to forget. If that were all I knew about him...

I was well aware that I had seriously considered Damon’s offer of going around and killing every vampire that regularly murdered people. And I stood by that. But the condition was doing a lot of work there. If, somehow, I were given the power to do this, I would, in fact, make sure that a vampire was a murderer before killing them.

Would the council do the same? If what Stefan had said was any indication...

“Do you think they’d just go out with it and try to kill any vampires they find?”

“I would not be surprised.”

“Then we should make sure that they don’t get it.” After a moment’s thought, I offered it to him. “Do you want to keep it? The council will expect the watch to be here. They might look for it.”

“Zach is on the council...” said Stefan slowly. “But I think his loyalty will be with me. And with you. You saved his life.”

“So, do you want to keep it?”

“... yes. I will keep it safe.” He took the watch and slid it into his pocket. “I will keep it from Zach, too, at least for now. Just in case.”

I nodded approvingly, then held up the amulet. “With this one, I think the chance that it’s magical is quite high. Caroline said she found this lying beside her after she woke up. She said Damon had taken it during the ball. Didn’t you take Damon to the cell right after he fed on her?”

“I did.”

“And you didn’t notice it?”

He shook his head. “I even checked on Caroline to make sure she was okay and compelled her to forget what Damon had done to her. But I didn’t see it.” He took the crystal in between his fingers. ”I have no idea what it is. I’ve never seen it before.”

“But it’s got to be magical. Damon wouldn’t care about it just because it’s pretty.”

“Yes, Damon has never cared about jewelry. You’re probably right – we can ask Sheila to take a look at it if she turns out to be friendly toward me.”

“Good. Until then, I’d say you also take it. It makes no sense to keep anything important in this room. There’s just no way it’s as safe here as it is with you.”

He nodded, and the amulet followed the watch into his pocket.

“What’s number four?”

“Money,” I said simply. “So... it would be easy for any vampire to become rich, wouldn’t it?”

Stefan thought about it. He had to _think_ about it. Which meant it hadn’t even _occurred_ to him before. I shook my head in disbelief.

“I’ve already accepted that most people don’t become creative even if they are centuries old, but _this_ one? It’s literally about _money_.”

“You’re right that it would be easy,” said Stefan. “Find a rich person, compel him to invite you in, take his money, and compel him to forget.”

“I refuse to believe no-one’s done that,” I said. “Which probably means that someone _has_ done it. You said there are only around twelve thousand vampires in the world. That’s not much. But how many millionaires are there? Actually,” I added, “probably a lot more than twelve thousand. So even if one in ten vampires becomes a millionaire-”

“I don’t think they do. I don’t think money is... as appealing to vampires as it is to humans.”

“Maybe. What about power?”

“What about it?”

“Why has no vampire taken over the US government yet? Couldn’t you just – I don’t know – catch five seconds with the president at a public event, and compel him to visit you later?”

“Vampires burn in the sun,” Stefan reminded me.

“Oh. Right.”

I had forgotten about this entirely – the only two vampires I had ever interacted with had not been harmed by sunlight.

“How common are rings like yours?”

“Rare. There might only be a few hundred vampires with daylight rings out there. I’m not sure how many witches know how to make them, but I don’t think it’s common. And as a vampire, you would not only have to find one of them, but also convince her to make you one. And witches don’t tend to like vampires. Even if you force them,” (he had probably guessed what I was about to say in objection), “the witch who enchanted the object always has the power to remove the spell later. It remains indefinitely if she dies, but I don’t think this is widely known. The Bennett witches have this secret,” he added. “Sheila could probably make any number of rings – if she wanted to.”

I wondered whether he was thinking about my future as a vampire – although, we should have access to Damon’s ring either way.

“How did Damon get one?”

“Katherine’s maiden was a powerful witch. She made rings for both of us. She is a direct ancestor of Sheila.”

I thought about it.

“Well,” I conceded, “if there’s only, say, three hundred vampires who can walk in the sun, then maybe no-one has gotten involved in politics yet.”

Still. Ten-thousand vampires – many of them reckless – could their existence truly be a secret? Or was it merely a secret to the general public? Did intelligence agencies know? If so, the president might carry vervain with him, perhaps without knowing about it.

I filed the thought away for later.

“Anyway,” I said, “money. It would be nice to have – say – two hundred thousand dollars, just in case.”

“Elena.” Stefan seemed... upset? I couldn’t quite place it. I was nowhere near as good at recognizing his emotions as he was at recognizing mine. “You’re not planning to live a normal life.”

“No.”

“What then? What are your plans?”

“Up until today,” I said slowly, “I had almost nothing to work with. I’m human – I’m weak – I knew almost nothing about vampires except that you were one, that Damon was another, and that he was killing people. My friends were in danger, people in this town were dying, and I had no chance to do anything about it myself. But now? With Damon out of the way, if I have you on my side – if we work together – we have real power. And unlike everyone else, I intend to make something out of it. And this is how you do it. You start by covering your bases. _And I’m good at it._ ”

“And what then?”

“Someone needs to stop the perpetual mass murder of humans.”

“You want to change the way the world works,” stated Stefan. It wasn’t a question, so I didn’t respond. “How, exactly, are you planning to do it? Do you want to... what, establish a vampire authority?”

“Yes,” I said, “probably. But not anytime soon. First, I want _stability_. I want to take a lot of time, _carefully_ and _thoroughly_ think about how to be _safe,_ get whatever items could be useful, make whatever other preparations we can think of, find the compass that’s missing to activate the watch, find out what the amulet is all about, find out what Damon was trying to do, deal with everything that links us to other vampires or anything else that could conceivably be threatening... and _then_ we can start to think about how to stop people from dying all the time... or even if we _can_ do anything about it. I don’t plan to try something that can’t work.”

I looked at him. With some guilt, I realized that I had taken him for granted – had simply assumed that he would help me in whatever I was trying to do.

“And you believe...” his gaze pierced into mine... “you believe that saving a life makes up for taking a life?”

Something clicked.

He had asked me this question before, and I had given an honest but rushed answer. I had been too absorbed in my own thoughts to draw the connection, to realize that he hadn’t just asked about it because it was something counter-intuitive that I’d said to Damon, but because it _mattered_. Because it mattered _to him_.

And it was obvious why. Stefan had told me that he had always felt for other people – when they were hurting, he felt their pain, and he felt guilty if he was the one who had caused it. That’s what he had said. And yet, he himself had caused pain, an unfathomable amount of pain, while his humanity had been turned off. If an average person felt guilty about a single murder, then how guilty must he feel, when both the level of empathy and the scope of the crime were turned up to the extreme?

And, and...

And Stefan valued my thoughts. I didn’t understand why, not really, but for whatever reason, and despite being ten times my age, he seemed to regard me as an authority on questions of ethics. He had even said so to Jenna: ‘I think Elena has figured things out better than I or Damon’. I hadn’t thought much about it then, but I now realized what an astonishing compliment it really was.

I took off my necklace, then slid off the bed so I could stand in front of him. I offered him the piece in my outstretched hand.

“Ask me again,” I whispered.

He took it. Then, he looked directly into my eyes.

“Does saving a life make up for taking a life?”

“Yes.”

I had spent a fair bit of time wondering what mind compulsion would feel like. I had pictured an invisible force of sorts – something in my head, bending my will. I had imagined a struggle, where the urge to say the right thing got gradually stronger. I had imagined searching for words that would receive the approval of truth.

Now, I knew that it was nothing like that. There had been no struggle. There hadn’t been _time_ for a struggle. My lips had formulated the words at once, without spending a moment consulting me. There had been zero agency involved on my part.

“I have killed over a thousand people, Elena. And worse, I pushed Damon to complete his transition. After we had woken up, he wanted to die, and I forced life onto him.”

 _Ow._ This, of course, made it even worse. But it wasn’t hard to see how it had happened – if he had turned off his humanity immediately...

”His blood is on my hands. The people he’s killed – every last one of them is on me. If I help you, will I redeem myself?”

“You will if we succeed.”

He closed his eyes.

I felt an icy cold shiver run down my spine.

Stefan was _crying._

The sight shocked me more than anything that had happened in the past two weeks. It was as if a law of nature had been violated. Stefan didn’t cry; _I_ cried.

“I’ve given up hope so long ago. I knew I could never redeem myself. It’s impossible. I’ve caused... so much harm.” His grip around my shoulders strengthened. “I love you, Elena. I love you and I trust you and I will help you, no matter what you want me to do.”

“Ask me what I feel about you,” I whispered. It was the most powerful gesture there could ever be – he could be sure of my feelings with a certainty that no human couple could ever hope for. He looked reluctant, but I wouldn’t pass up the chance. “Do it.”

He opened his eyes. There was something in his gaze that I couldn’t place.

“How do you feel about me?”

“I love you more than I have ever loved anyone else, and I expect that I will want to be with you forever or until I die.”

I had to go back and remember the words after they were out to realize what exactly my response had been. It was a surreal experience.

“How did you feel about Damon when he was still alive?”

“I was afraid of him, repulsed by his personality, and disappointed that someone so old could act so unethically.”

I blinked.

“ _What the fuck?_ ” I grabbed my necklace, then looked back at him. Something in his gaze had changed.

“I’m _sorry-_ ”

“You don’t get to compel me to tell you things I didn’t consent for.”

“I’m sorry, Elena.”

I waved it off. While I would usually consider it a big deal, right now, it was easy enough to forgive.

“Forget it. Why did you do it? You obviously had a reason.”

“When he tried to kiss you... you-”

_Oh dear god._

“ _Seriously?_ Because I said I’m attracted to him?”

He nodded.

“I was **_lying_** _._ I was _lying_ , Stefan! I was talking to a serial killer, I think it’s okay to compromise on truth in that scenario. I was trying to choose my words to minimize the chance that he’d kill me, and then I screwed up and got afraid, and then, dunno, I just sort of winged it. There wasn’t an ounce of authenticity in what I said. I was _repulsed_ by his personality. I _hate_ people who think life is a game. I _despise_ nihilism _._ Life is everything! It’s all there is! I like _sincerity_. I like _seriousness_. I like _compassion_. I like _thoughtfulness_. I like _you_ , Stefan. Damon is the _opposite_ of all of that! I was _never_ attracted to his personality! Not for a single moment!”

“I believe you.”

“Of course you do, I just told you under compulsion.” I shook my head. “And what if I had been attracted to him? Would it really have been a good idea to hear me confess it?”

“I don’t know. I wasn’t thinking. I just had to... I just had to know. Katherine... was toying with us... I had to know that you’re different.”

“I thought I’d given you plenty of proof in that direction.”

“You did. It was stupid. I’m-”

I kissed him before he could finish the sentence.

“Your insecurity is very unattractive,” I purred, “but I still love you. And with the proof you have now, maybe even you can stop worrying.”

I drew back.

“Right...” he seemed embarrassed and eager to return to normal conversation. “... so. Two-hundred-thousand dollars. I can get them.” I retook my position on the bed next to him, using the time to pull my thoughts away from his guilt and back to the topic at hand.

“... how?” I inquired. “The ends justify the means, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t minimize damage along the way.”

“I’ll find the biggest asshole worth at least fifty million dollars and convince him to give it to me.”

I nodded. “That sounds good. But do make sure they’re not a vampire,” I added. “Just in case we’re wrong and more vampires care about getting rich than we think.”

“I’ll be careful.”

“And there’s no hurry with this one. Alright...”

“Point five?”

I checked my notes. “Yes. Weapons.”

“... you want guns with wooden bullets.”

“I hadn’t thought about wooden bullets,” I said honestly. “Are they more effective?”

“Yes. It hurts more, and the wounds take longer to heal.”

“Then, guns with wooden bullets. And how about a flamethrower? That would be effective against vampires, wouldn’t it?”

“It’s the deadliest weapon against vampires I’ve ever seen.”

“Did you...”

He nodded. “I still have it. But I assume you want to have a small arsenal. Several different weapons to be prepared for everything.”

“Just in case,” I said. “I have no plans of using any of it anytime soon. I’ll tell you under compulsion if you want.”

He shook his head. “Give me a week. Last point?”

“Caroline,” I said. “Caroline needs to know. I’m not going to keep it from her, not now that the situation’s under control. And... Jeremy. He needs to know, too.”

Stefan didn’t seem surprised. “I figured you wouldn’t want to lie to them.”

“Do you mind?”

“It’s your choice, Elena. But there are reasons to keep it from them. Some people would prefer a normal life.”

“Are there, though? Given what you can do, isn’t it always better to tell someone? Let them decide whether they want to know it or not. If Caroline wants the normal life, we compel her to forget. I’ll give her a vervain necklace as a gift, and I’ll do my best not to involve her in other ways. But,” I added, “I wouldn’t hold my breath. I have a hunch that both she and Jeremy will want to know.”

“When do you want to do it?”

“I’d say we ask her to come over today after we talk to Sheila. Or, if she doesn’t want to, we can do it tomorrow. Either way, you should be there to demonstrate it.”

“And Jeremy?”

“I didn’t lie to Jeremy... and he didn’t suffer at the hand of vampires. I don’t feel pressure to tell him as early as possible. But I still want to tell him. And he needs to know not to invite anyone in. Probably tomorrow, I guess. Can be later if you prefer it.”

“Tomorrow is fine.”

I nodded. “Well,” I said, “that’s all I got.”

I looked at him longingly. At the same time, we both leaned forward and exchanged a long and passionate kiss. Then, he took me back into his arms.

“I love you,” I whispered.

“I love you, too.”


	12. Untitled

I hated funerals. I did not believe in souls or the afterlife, not even now that I knew the universe contained magic. Bonnie was not in heaven, nor was she “at a better place” or “at peace.” She was _gone_ , simple as that, and it was sad and tragic and unfair. There was no silver lining to death, nothing that somehow made it okay. There was the horrible side, and then there was nothing else.

When I had been with Stefan, I had thought of the funeral as merely a thing that would happen. I hadn’t anticipated it dragging on for as long as it did. I hadn’t envisioned how painful it would be; had forgotten how much I had loathed every moment of it last time, when my parents had died.

First came the ceremony in the town’s church. Bonnie’s body was presented in an open casket, and the belief that there was nothing left of her did not stop me from crying uncontrollably the moment I laid eyes on it. There was a priest, and he said a lot of things, most of them wrong, impersonal, and meaningless, and nothing at all that was wise or cathartic. Bonnie had not been religious; none of us three had been. I didn’t know who had decided that the ceremony was to proceed in this way, perhaps it was simply the norm, but I had my doubts about whether Bonnie would have been happy with it.

The worst part was when Caroline and I were asked to come forward. Refusing it would have been the smart thing to do, but when Caroline stood up, instinct compelled me to follow. Caroline stumbled through a couple of sentences about how much the three of us had done together and how much Bonnie had meant to her, a clunky speech but no doubt the most meaningful thing that had been said so far. Then it was my turn, and as expected, I didn’t manage a single word. After a few dreadful seconds, Caroline spoke up again, saying something about how I didn’t cope well with loss and a bit more about Bonnie and me. Then, she pulled me back to my seat.

By the time the service was over, I genuinely felt like I would have done better staying home, and to hell with what everyone would have thought about it. If it weren’t for Jenna and Caroline, I would have abandoned the plan and called Stefan to come and comfort me. There was no way I could have suffered through this alone.

And now, for the second part of the ordeal, Bonnie’s casket was put into a car that drove at walking speed toward the cemetery, and everyone else was to follow.

I had thought my nonexistent speech would be the worst part of it all, but the sight of the coffin being lowered into the grave was a serious rival. I intended to live forever, but if I were to die some day, I wouldn’t want anyone else to suffer through this sight. Nothing would offend me less than if someone chose to stay home instead. In fact, I wished that I lived in a world where none of this was the norm, where there was no ceremony and no public burial. There should be an opportunity to see the body one last time, but it should be in private, and no-one else should know who did or didn’t show up. That way, people would come if they wanted to, and only if they wanted to. But that was a fantasy, and as it was, the only good thing I could say about the burial was that it had taken less time than the preceding ceremony. Not long after the grave was sealed, it was finally over.

Sheila was still here. I wanted nothing less than to approach her now, but I did it anyway. Perhaps it was because I didn’t want to add failure on top of misery, or perhaps I didn’t want to disappoint Stefan, not after everything he had done for me. Either way, I simply overrode my every instinct and forced myself to walk up to her.

“Mrs. Bennett?”

She turned around and hugged me.

 _I need to talk to you, can we go somewhere?_ I thought; “I’m so sorry!” I said, “I was with Bonnie before she went if I had just told her not to go-”

“It’s not your fault, Elena. You couldn’t have known.”

“You’re wrong you’re wrong you’re wrong...” At least I was mindful enough to talk quietly. “I know what killed her, I know-”

“What did you say?” She pushed me away at arm’s length.

“I know what you are, and Bonnie,” I whispered, “and I know-”

“Quiet, Elena. We don’t talk about this here.” Unlike me, she wasn’t whispering.

“Can... can we go somewhere where no-one will hear us?”

“In the cemetery? No, Elena. If you have something to tell me, we can do it at my home.”

“N-now?”

“There is nothing left to do here. Come.”

I looked around as I followed her, but no-one was staring at us. She led me to her car, and I got inside. This hadn’t been planned, but I knew that this woman didn’t pose any danger to me. We could talk here or talk at her home; it didn’t matter. I sent Jenna a short message to inform her where I was, then we drove.

Neither of us said anything. On any other day, it would have felt strange, awkward, to spend the entire drive in silence. But normal intuitions didn’t apply, not now that the loss was still so powerful. Everything felt surreal, like a dream.

I was still crying when we reached her home. My usually excellent sense of time wasn’t working, either. I couldn’t have said whether it had been a twenty or forty minute drive.

“I will fix us some tea,” said Sheila. “You try to pull yourself together. Have a seat.”

I nodded. She handed me a pack of paper tissues and then disappeared into the kitchen.

When she returned and asked me how I knew, I told her the entire story, beginning with the scene in the very same cemetery we had just left behind us. When I got to Bonnie’s death, I left nothing out. I told her that I had talked to Damon before, that I had already known about vampires, and also that, for no good reason at all, I had failed to keep Bonnie from leaving. I told her what Stefan had said to his brother, being careful to mention that he hadn’t known Bonnie was nearby, and that he had fought to save her life. My visit to the boarding house, on the other hand, received a much shorter treatment. “I convinced Stefan to kill him,” I just said, “we burnt the body and buried the ashes in a hole in the woods. Damon is gone.”

I took a sip of my tea.

“All of that was just... yesterday. Even though it feels like he’s been dead for so long.”

“Damon was supposed to _protect_ her,” said Sheila, a bitterness in her voice that I heard for the first time. “He made a pact over a century ago to protect our family. He broke that vow.”

I hadn’t known that. I thought about whether I should tell her that it hadn’t been on purpose. My first thought was to do it. My second was to stay quiet since I had nothing to gain from her hating Damon less.

My third thought was disgust at myself for thinking this way. This woman was mourning the loss of what had probably been the most important person in the world to her. She had lost more than I had, she wasn’t dangerous, and she had a right to know.

“I don’t think he recognized her. He indicated that he didn’t mean to kill my friend.”

“That does not excuse his actions.”

“I know. I am not defending him. I just... I think it’s true either way. It is what it is.”

“You have no fault in her death, Elena. You did everything you could.”

Even now, I felt the familiar stitch of annoyance. `You did everything you could’ was one of those phrases that were seldom true, and yet, people kept saying it anyway. In this case, it was demonstrably false. I had _not_ done everything I could. In one of my journals, I had written down an entire list of ways in which I could have prevented her death.

But I didn’t say any of that. If Sheila didn’t blame me for Bonnie’s death, I was not going to try to convince her otherwise.

“What do you think about Stefan?” I asked instead. This was why I had come here, after all. I realized on the side that, at some point during the story, I had stopped crying.

“I am grateful that he avenged Bonnie’s death. You don’t have to worry. I will keep his secret.”

“He said your family has a history of that – of keeping his secret. You must have met him before.”

“I did. I met him in 1969, right here in Mystic Falls. I knew what he was even then. And yes, I have never told anyone, just as my mother and grandmother have kept silent before me.”

“Would you invite him in?”

Sheila’s gaze was fixated on me. This time, she took a bit longer to respond.

“Why is he not asking me this himself?”

“Because...” I took a breath. “Because I was afraid you would kill him just for being a vampire. He doesn’t have any fault in Bonnie’s death beyond what I told you, I swear to you, everything I’ve told you is the truth. But I’m sure there are people who think _all_ vampires are evil. And Stefan _wanted_ to meet you at the funeral. It was my idea to wait, and it was just a precaution.”

“I would never attack someone who hasn’t done harm to me or to my family, vampire or not. If what you told me is true, you have nothing to fear.”

“Then, I’ll text him to come.” I took out my phone, and when Sheila didn’t protest, typed up a short message. After hitting send, I realized that he might need her address. Sheila told me when I asked, and I relayed the information in a second message.

“I think Damon might not have come to Mystic Falls because of Stefan or me,” I said quietly. I hoped it was true; it would mean that Stefan had even less fault in Bonnie’s death than I had previously thought.

“Why?”

I told her about the amulet. Her face darkened.

“Do you still have it?”

“Yes,” I said, “and I think Stefan will bring it. We had hoped you could take a look. If Damon was trying to do something, then it’s possible that the danger isn’t over yet, even though he’s dead.”

The way she looked at me revealed that she knew something.

“What do _you_ think about vampires, Elena?”

“Most of them are... killers,” I said, slowly so as to give myself time to think about why she was asking. There had to be some connection to the amulet, but I had no idea what it could be. I decided to be somewhat vague while still being honest. “I definitely think it... _can_ be justified to kill them. I think it was justified to kill Damon, and I think it would have been justified even if Bonnie was still alive. But vampires are not intrinsically evil. Harming an innocent vampire is every bit as bad as harming an innocent human.”

“Does Stefan drink tea?”

“Um,” I made, somewhat surprised at the mundane question, “probably. Vampires have the same tastes they had as humans, I think.”

“I’ll prepare some more, then,” said Sheila and made for the kitchen. My mind didn’t take long to suggest the possibility of vervain tea, which seemed like a far-fetched idea, but I also didn’t want to take the risk. I had no idea what the amulet was, so I couldn’t entirely rule out the possibility that merely hearing about it had been enough to alter her goals in such a drastic way.

More plausibly, though, she had just wanted some time to think. While I couldn’t see her, I could clearly hear the water boiler, and Sheila didn’t return once it was done. Only when Stefan arrived did she show up again, opening the door for him. I noticed them shaking hands and wondered whether it had any significance.

“I’m grateful for what you have done,” said Sheila. “Elena told me. You can come in.”

“Make sure the tea doesn’t have vervain in it,” I whispered, so quietly that Sheila would never hear it – at last, not unless she had somehow acquired supernatural hearing of her own. Stefan gave me a nod.

When Sheila returned and offered him a cup, he first took what looked like a tiny sip. Nothing happened – Stefan had said it didn’t work immediately, but I had understood him to mean that the delay was on the order of seconds.

“Elena told me about the amulet,” said Sheila. “Do you have it with you?”

“Yes.”

“May I see it?”

Stefan handed it to her. Then, he looked at me and slightly shook his head.

“Do you know why Damon was here, Stefan?” asked Sheila. She hadn’t examined the amulet closely – either it wasn’t interesting after all, or she had recognized it immediately.

“No.”

“Do you know about the pact that Damon made with Emily in 1864?”

I didn’t know who Emily was, but I made a mental note to remember her name.

“No.”

Sheila gave Stefan a scrutinizing look.

“I am taking a big risk by telling you this. I trust that human life means something to you.”

“It does,” said Stefan. “When we killed Damon... it wasn’t just because of Bonnie. We wanted to prevent him from murdering ever again.”

“Very well,” said Sheila. “In 1864, Damon swore to protect Emily, her children, and any further descendants they might have. A vow which he now broke,” she added bitterly. “But in exchange, Emily promised to protect Katherine, and in doing so, she protected every other vampire in the church. All twenty-seven vampires that were meant to die that day are now sealed into the tomb below Fell’s church. They are starved, of course, but starvation cannot kill a vampire, as you well know. This talisman was used to seal the tomb, and now it can be used to open it. It was reactivated recently, with the arrival of the celestial comet.”

Hearing this stirred at something in my memory.

“Was Emily Katherine’s maiden?” I asked.

Stefan nodded.

“And the church – was this the one that was under fire by confederate soldiers? With civilians inside? We’ve talked about it in history class...”

Stefan nodded again. “What the history books don’t know,” he said, “is that they weren’t civilians – they were vampires. The townspeople had rounded them up, locked them into the church, and then set the church on fire. I thought everyone had died. But if they survived, then we know why Damon was here, and it has nothing to do with you, Elena. He was here to open the tomb and free Katherine. He stole this amulet on the day we stopped him.”

“You stopped him,” I corrected Stefan instinctively. I didn’t mind taking credit where it was due, but the initial capture of Damon had been Stefan’s work, and his work alone. He had come up with and executed the plan, whereas my only contribution had been to not screw it all up.

“I hope you do not share your brother’s obsession, Stefan,” said Sheila. “I know Katherine was playing with both of you.”

“I want nothing less than to have Katherine be free.”

“Then, we must make sure that Damon’s wish will not be granted. The tomb must remain closed.”

“I think both of you are missing the biggest takeaway here,” I murmured. “The reason we wanted to find out what Damon was up to was to make sure there’s no remaining link to other vampires. Now we know that there is. Who says that Damon is the only one with someone they loved locked into the tomb?”

I distinctly realized that I hadn’t taken vampire blood yet. We would remedy that as soon as we got home – and Jenna and Jeremy would have to drink it, too. We could not afford to wait any longer.

“They would have to know about what Emily did,” said Stefan. “But you’re right. There is a chance.”

“Good point...” I said slowly. “If everyone thinks they’re dead... and if we could be sure about that... how do you know about this, Mrs. Bennett?”

“Spirits talk,” said Sheila, and I froze. At once, I could clearly feel my own heartbeat.

“what,” i whispered.

“witches can communicate with the other side, elena. emily told me herself.”

everything had become unnaturally silent

_“ **there is an afterlife?** ”_

“the spirits of the dead can reach out to the living, yes”

the room had dissolved around me

i was falling

“no,” I heard a whisper, and I realized that it was my own, “no no no no no no”

I could feel Stefan holding me. I realized that I must have slipped off the chair.

“I’m sorry, Elena, I should have told you. I forgot.”

“... magic,” I said, “... vampires ... witches ... that ... but this ... I can’t ... Damon ...”

“No-one has ever come back from the other side,” said Stefan. “Right, Sheila?”

“A witch powerful enough can possess the bodies of the living, even after she has passed. But vampires cannot.”

I barely heard her. “Damon isn’t dead,” I murmured in horror, “he’s not dead he’s not dead he’s not dead he’s not dead he’s not dead-”

“He won’t come back, Elena. He’s gone. It’s as if he’s dead.”

My worldview was burning to a crisp around me.

I had already told Jenna that, if the universe contained magic, we didn’t know anything anymore. Despite that, I had gone on thinking that there were rules I knew about. Without realizing it, I had neglected my own advice. But _now?_

“My parents-”

“Only supernatural beings go to the other side,” said Sheila. “I’m sorry, Elena. Bonnie is still there, on the other side, but your parents are gone.”

My parents were gone? Really? What did Sheila know? _How_ would she know? Even if there was no evidence of humans having an afterlife, why _wouldn’t_ they? Why wouldn’t there simply be a different afterlife for humans, one that no-one could communicate with?

Up until now, my answer to that question had been that there were rules, and we understood the rules to some degree, enough to assign a vanishingly low probability on the existence of an afterlife for which there was zero evidence. But now, that reason no longer applied.

Death had been the one certainty. The only one left. Now it was gone, and nothing remained.

I tried to tell myself that it was a good thing. There was so much more hope than I had realized. If Bonnie’s mind was preserved, then it might be possible to bring her back, someday. It was _good._ It was a shock, but it was good, extremely good. It was better news than I had ever dreamed of hearing. My hopes of saving everyone I loved, the dream I thought had already failed, it was now reborn. No-one was yet lost forever, perhaps not even my parents.

But I did not understand the world anymore. Vampires and magic were nothing compared to this.

Unless...

... perhaps there was still death, only the goalpost had moved? Perhaps it was simply _harder_ to kill someone?

I was about to ask but then decided against it.

There was a tomb full of vampires in Mystic Falls.

Damon had meant to open the tomb.

Other vampires might attempt to open it in the near future.

The existence of an afterlife was likely to be the most important fact I would ever hear about. Even so, it had not changed the way things had transpired in the past weeks. It almost certainly wouldn’t change the coming weeks. As monumental as it was, it wasn’t the priority _right now._

I would deal with current events first. Once that was done, I would deal with the Other Side.

“Okay,” I said, “I’m sorry, Mrs. Bennett. I’m good now. We don’t need to talk any more about it.”

“You sure?” Stefan asked, and I nodded.

“If there’s an afterlife now, there’ll still be one in a year. But we will not be here in a year if we are killed by a thousand-year-old vampire who wants to open the tomb.”

“I still want you to know,” said Sheila, “that I have talked to Bonnie. I was worried she would be out of reach since she was only just discovering her powers, but that was not so. Though she has not cast a single spell while she was alive, the magic had already awoken in her, and her spirit was preserved. She told me about how she has died, and while she didn’t recognize her killer, what I know from her fits what I have heard from you. But do not ask me to relay messages to her, Elena. Only those who can speak to them directly must communicate with spirits. It is said that those who have broken this rule have gone mad with sadness. You may rest assured that Bonnie is not truly gone, but you must accept that you can never talk to her ever again.”

“I understand,” I said. While I questioned the wisdom of this rule as it applied to me, it was something I could live with. I would have liked to talk to Bonnie one last time and tell her how sorry I was, but simply _knowing_ that she was still alive was what really mattered. And she was – Bonnie was alive, it really was as simple as that. If Sheila could just reach out and talk to her, then it made no sense to call it death. At worst, it was as if she had traveled into a distant country and would never come back, but could still communicate. You would never say that someone like that had died, either.

And now I knew why I hadn’t seen Sheila cry at the funeral.

Everything I had believed was wrong. That was the upshot of all of this. Death _wasn’t_ final, at least not death in the ordinary way. There _was_ an afterlife. There _was_ something left of Bonnie.

I also remembered what Stefan had said to me, right after Damon had died. `If there’s something left of him now, it won’t be bound to his body.’ Just as Bonnie’s spirit was no longer bound to hers. Stefan had known.

I was going to have a serious talk with him about not telling me earlier. It had almost certainly been an oversight – he had clearly _wanted_ to tell me everything important and had simply neglected to mention the single most important thing. It didn’t even surprise me; this was what I was talking about when I said that everyone else was insane. I wasn’t angry at him, at least not much. But still.

“I might be able to destroy the amulet,” said Sheila. “That may make it impossible to get inside.”

 _Impossible_ , I thought, my mind now running on full cynicism, _ha, ha._ Did Sheila have an impossibility theorem? Was there a mathematical proof that the tomb couldn’t be opened through other means? At this point, anything less wouldn’t convince me.

Which didn’t mean that destroying the amulet was a bad idea.

“What do you think?” Stefan asked, looking at me.

“Give me a minute.” I closed my eyes, trying hard not to think about the newly discovered impermanence of death.

“It’s been nine days,” I murmured. “The comet appeared last week on Wednesday. No other vampire has shown up yet. That makes it seem like no-one but Damon was waiting for the comet. He also retrieved the crystal on the founder’s party. If someone else knew, they probably would have taken it before him... it couldn’t have been difficult...”

I thought about the imprisoned vampires.

“Say it’s impossible to open the tomb without the crystal,” _even though it’s not,_ “I don’t think I want to lock twenty-seven vampires into a room for the rest of time. That seems... cruel. Never mind the possibility that some of them might deserve to be free. Keeping them in prison... since there is an afterlife, it seems like a fate worse than death. And if it’s not impossible, someone might free them after all.”

I made a pause, thinking further.

“It’s also not clear that it will make us safer. Say someone does come, and we’ve sealed them in forever. They might want to kill us for revenge.”

“But we would prevent them from harming another person ever again,” said Sheila.

I shook my head, then opened my eyes to look at her. “No. We don’t know that there isn’t another way. If we want to ensure that no human dies, we should open the tomb and kill every vampire. In fact,” I added, “that seems strictly better than destroying the amulet. It’s safer for us since there might be another way to get in, and it’s kinder to the imprisoned vampires. So either we want to do that, or we might want to free some of them if they are innocent, but there’s no scenario in which I want to just throw away the key.”

“So, we keep it?” Stefan asked.

“Yes,” I said. “But we should think _very hard_ about how to make sure it’s safe.”

Stefan nodded, then held out his hand. Sheila let several seconds pass, but then she gave the amulet back to him.

“Emily isn’t bound to her word or something, is she?” I asked. “Speculating here, but say we open the tomb to kill every vampire – it would be a problem if Emily thinks she has to stop us to save them. Now that Damon has failed his end of the bargain...”

“No-one takes possession of me against my will,” said Sheila. “But no, I don’t think Emily would try to stop us even if Bonnie were still alive. And most definitely not now, after Damon’s betrayal.”

“And if we did decide to purge the tomb – to go in and kill all twenty-seven vampires – would you help us?”

Sheila gave me a long look.

“Perhaps.”

* * *

When Stefan and I stepped outside of the house, I thought about Bonnie.

There was no pain.

I was worried about her. I was afraid that I might not see her again. And I missed her. But there was no continuum between that and the belief that she had forever disappeared from the face of the world. The feeling of utter loss and hopelessness was all but gone.

In its place, I felt a significant amount of annoyance.

“Okay,” I said to Stefan, “you really have to promise me something.”

“What?”

“Next time I think someone is dead, and you know that I’m wrong, tell me _before_ I go to their funeral.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to instalment #2 of art vaguely related to this story.
> 
> https://luminous.elcenia.com/chapters/ch1.shtml


	13. Revelations, #2

“Hi,” I said as I greeted Caroline at the door. It was an hour later, and even though I had failed to ask her during the ceremony, she had agreed over the phone to meet us at the boarding house. “I’m sorry for making you come over this late. And Caroline, I’m sorry for how I’ve been treating you lately.”

“Hi. What do you mean?”

“The thing with the amulet,” _it’s amazing that you’re not angry at me for that,_ “and I haven’t been honest with you. But there was a reason. A good reason. I’ll explain everything in a moment.”

“Uh... okay? – wow.” Caroline’s eyes trailed the walls as she followed me through the entrance hall. Stefan was waiting for us in the dining room.

“Have a seat,” I said to Caroline. “This will be a shock.”

Caroline sharply inhaled, bringing a hand to her mouth. “Are you-”

“No – whatever you were about to say – no. It’s something else. Ready to hear it?”

She nodded.

“Stefan is a vampire,” I said without much ado, “and you don’t need to take my word for it, because it’s straightforward to demonstrate. Stefan?”

Stefan ran from one end of the room to the other and back.

“Supernatural speed,” I observed, “impossible to fake.”

Caroline’s eyes widened.

After a few moments, she took off her scarf, uncovering the bite marks on her neck.

“Damon did this to me. Was he-”

“Yes, and he’s dead now, so you don’t have to worry about him anymore. And yes, he was the one who killed Bonnie. But there’s an afterlife, so she’s not really dead-”

_“WHAT?”_

“-In fact, her grandmother can just talk to her whenever she wants because she’s a witch, and Bonnie was going to be a witch, too. But we don’t get to talk to her, only her grams does.”

_“Oh my god!”_

“I know it’s a lot – but it turns out that’s the world we live in. And,” I added, “you seem to be taking it better than I did.”

I waited for her to say something; when she didn’t, I figured I might as well tell her about the easy way out.

“Vampires have a bunch of powers – one of them is to compel humans to do stuff or to forget stuff. If you don’t want to be involved with any of this, Stefan can take away your memories.”

Caroline frantically shook her head.

“Please don’t. Please don’t mess with my head. That’s what Damon did, didn’t he? That’s why there’s so much I can’t remember?”

“Yeah. But don’t worry – it was just an offer. Stefan’s not Damon. He’ll only take away your memories if you ask him to.”

“And he won’t hurt me?”

“No. Stefan has a perfectly normal sense of morals, and he doesn’t drink human blood. Animals only.”

“Oh,” Caroline made. “That’s good.”

“You can’t tell anyone about us,” said Stefan. “That’s the only rule.”

“Don’t tell anyone,” echoed Caroline, “got it.” Her gaze bounced back to me. “So...” she said cautiously, “we’re in Twilight, right? You’re Bella, he’s Edward, and I guess I get to be Jessica?”

“Well,” I said, glad that she took it with humor, “thankfully, Stefan is not like Edward. And I, um-”

Caroline gave a nervous laugh. “Yeah, you don’t make a very good Bella.”

“Thanks. Also, vampires don’t sparkle, they don’t look like they’re made out of chalk – obviously – and they can eat, drink, and sleep like humans.”

“Right. Uhm... when you say drink... does that include...”

Stefan bowed his head. “Alcohol is popular among vampires. Helps with the cravings, and you can’t get a hangover. Doesn’t matter how hard you try. I have bourbon, scotch, liquor, vodka – or something lighter, if you want.”

“Vodka? Please?”

Perhaps she wasn’t so calm after all, because when she took the drink from Stefan, I noticed that her hand was shaking.

“You okay?” I asked carefully.

“Great,” said Caroline. “Vampires and witches? All good with me. At least it’s not aliens, right?”

“Well – do you want the full story? I haven’t been honest with you, like I said, and I’m really sorry for that. But I was always planning to tell you later, and here we are. I’ll tell you everything – if you want to hear it.”

Caroline took a sip off her drink, then scooted closer to the edge of the table.

“Tell me.”

* * *

It took us about twenty minutes to bring Caroline up to speed. Throughout, it became increasingly clear that she wasn’t feeling well, but I couldn’t quite place what was bothering her. The way we had dealt with Damon, while it hadn’t left her cold, didn’t seem to be it.

“Another, please,” she murmured after I had finished describing our visit to Sheila. I had already offered that Stefan could drive her home, but at this rate...

“Um,” I made. “Your mother...”

“Can’t I just sleep here? I’m sure you have a spare bedroom.”

“We have seven bedrooms,” supplied Stefan, “but your mom-”

“Oh, screw her,” said Caroline, impatiently holding out her empty glass. “What’s she gonna do? Come here and get me? I don’t think so.”

Given that her mother was a cop, that actually did not seem out of the question. Nonetheless, I didn’t protest as Stefan gave her another refill.

Caroline emptied it in a single draw, then she buried her head in between both hands, her elbows resting on the table.

“Great,” she murmured. “All of it. It’s really great.”

I didn’t know what to say.

“Are you going to turn?” She asked from behind her fingers. I had described to her how turning worked, including the fact that it could be done entirely without pain.

“... yes, probably. Eventually.”

Caroline’s head dropped onto the table.

“I hate my life...”

“What? Why? What’s wrong?”

She didn’t react. At this point, I was more than a little concerned.

“Caroline? Please, talk to me. What’s wrong?”

Her head surfaced.

“What’s wrong? _Seriously?_ ”

“Um, yes. Seriously.”

“Bonnie is _dead!_ Bonnie is dead, and you’re going to turn and I – do you know how many other friends I have, Elena?”

That hurt, and I had no idea how to respond. And Bonnie was not dead, but I knew better than to correct her.

“You did all of this stuff, and I didn’t do anything – except apparently trying to free my ex-boyfriend and almost getting someone else killed – but I don’t even remember doing it – and then you two killed my ex-boyfriend, and – do you need anything else that’s wrong?”

“Did... you actually like Damon?”

“ _No!_ I don’t know. I don’t think so. I was jealous of you, Elena. I’ve told you, guys never choose me – everyone always chooses you first – I thought at least now – but _of course,_ all he was really interested in was my blood – and he lied to me and bit me and messed with my head...”

I felt a knot forming in my chest. I had seen Caroline upset before, but never like this.

“I’m not even good at school – or at anything, except cheerleading, which you think is a waste of time – I’m obviously not good with boys, even though I try so hard – I try so hard – _and Bonnie didn’t even like me.”_

“What?”

“Bonnie didn’t even like me,” repeated Caroline. “She just – whenever there’s anything important – she always goes to you first – she’s never put me first – just like guys don’t. You know it’s true, Elena.”

I could feel my eyes watering, but what Caroline had said wasn’t entirely wrong.

“She still liked you,” I whispered, “even if-”

“She’s always chosen you first! You know I’m right!”

I nodded.

 _“And you don’t even have the decency to lie about it!”_ Caroline spat. “You’re unbelievable! Anyone else would just-”

“Do you want me to lie?”

“No, I... _GOD!_ ** _DAMMIT!_** _”_ Caroline hit the table with both fists. “I just hate _everything!”_

“Caroline!” I reached over the table, taking her hand.

“... what?”

“I love you. You’re my best friend, Caroline. You’ve always been. And even if Bonnie looked down on you sometimes, I didn’t, did I?”

“N-no. No, Elena, you never did. But you’re-”

“And I’m still here. Even if Bonnie is gone, we still have each other.”

_“But we don’t!”_

“Wh-... what?”

“You’re not there for me anymore! You’re with Stefan all the time, and now you’re going to turn, and you’re going to leave me, and-”

“Why do you-”

“You’re going to leave! Aren’t you?”

“No!” But the feeling of having uttered a lie caught up to me. “Okay, maybe,” I corrected myself. “I don’t know. I have no idea. I swear, Caroline, I have no clue where I’ll be in a year.”

Caroline stared at me, still looking angry.

“Do you know what my biggest ambition for this year has been, Elena?”

“U-um,” I stuttered, “be-becoming Miss Mystic Falls on the founder’s-”

“Yes! Becoming Miss. – _fucking –_ Mystic Falls! And since the hottest girl pities me enough not to compete, I might even have a chance to win. Yay me! Who cares about vampires and witches and living forever as long as I get to win some... dumb... worthless fucking title?”

“Caroline-”

“Meanwhile, one of my only two friends is _dead_ , and the other is going to leave me-”

“ ** _Caroline_** _,”_ I cut her off. “Just – you’re wrong! I don’t pity you! I’m, okay, yes – _yes,_ I’ve told you I wouldn’t participate, and yes, a part of that was because I knew it would mean more to you than to me, but it _wasn’t_ because I was just assuming I’d win, and I _don’t_ pity you, and it’s not just about looks, anyway, and also – _seriously!_ – you’re plenty hot!”

Caroline gave a short and humorless laugh. “You’re not into girls, Elena! You can’t tell.”

“Yeah – I am, actually.”

Caroline looked at me as if I had told her that I was an alien.

“... _what?”_

“I like girls,” I said plainly. “Guys too, obviously. It won’t _matter_ because I’ll never be with one because I’m going to be with Stefan forever – but I do.”

“How,” Caroline asked, “how, how, how did I not know that?”

“Because I’ve never told anyone except for my mom and Jenna, because no girl has ever asked me out, but guys have – and because I’ve never been in love, until now.”

Caroline was still staring at me.

“You’re joking.”

“No! I wouldn’t joke about something like this. Not now.”

“That’s something you tell your friends about, Elena!”

“Look,” I said, “I know you’ve gotten better at keeping secrets, and it wasn’t because of you, I didn’t tell Bonnie, either. I didn’t want anyone else to know, and I really don’t think it’s that big of a deal.”

While I said this, I realized that I hadn’t told Stefan, either. Did that make me a hypocrite? We had made such a big deal out of him being open with me, and I hadn’t thought to mention the one thing about me that he might plausibly want to know about. In my defense, the only reason why I hadn’t told him was that I genuinely didn’t think it mattered. This wasn’t a romance novel where me liking girls was destined to become a plot point; this was the real world. There was simply no reason why it should ever make a difference.

I tried to imagine that the situation was reversed. I didn’t think it would bother me – what I cared about was that Stefan loved me, and me alone. As long as that was the case, I wouldn’t care what people he did or didn’t find attractive. And I _had_ just confessed to him under compulsion, so it wasn’t like he had anything to fear.

Despite all of this, I was still nervous when I tried to catch his gaze – and more than a little relieved when he didn’t look angry.

“If you’ve never been with one, then how do you even know?”

“Seriously?” I asked – now, for the first time, feeling annoyed. “This isn’t some kind of alien concept to you, Caroline. Take the way you feel about guys – now apply that to girls and guys, and there you go. Did you need to be with someone before-”

“Alright – I’m sorry.”

I waved it off. “Bottom line,” I said, “I did not expect to just win if I participated. I swear it, Caroline – that’s just not true.”

“Okay, fine! Fine.”

She stared at me, no longer looking angry.

“You... really think I’m hot?”

I nodded.

“Then _why?”_

I flinched. I didn’t have to ask what she meant.

“... confidence? Or just bad luck? I don’t know. I don’t know what you’re doing wrong, Caroline. But I know it’s not looks – seriously, I don’t know what’s going on in your head if you don’t think you’re attractive, but that’s _crazy_. If you don’t believe it from anyone else, believe it from me.”

Caroline breathed in through the nose, and she looked like she was trying hard to calm down.

“What will I do if you leave me?” she whispered.

“I said I don’t know if I’ll leave.”

“But we’re already drifting apart.”

“... I don’t think that’s fair. There was a serial killer out there. And I had to keep things from you – but now, I won’t have to do that anymore.”

“So, things will go back to normal?”

“I... yes! Maybe. More normal. I think. I can promise you that I’ll try.”

Caroline looked at me with tears in her eyes.

“I’m not lying,” I said helplessly.

“I know...” Caroline sobbed. “I know, Elena. I know you mean it. I’m sorry. I don’t know what I’m saying. I’m just... if you go, I can’t... you’re all I have left.”

I hugged her. Now, both of us were crying.

“I want to turn, too,” Caroline said over my shoulder. “If you turn, I don’t want to stay behind.”

When I didn’t answer immediately, she pushed me away at arm’s length.

“Tell me that I can,” she demanded. “If you do it – promise me that I can, too.”

“You-” I stopped myself. This was important; I couldn’t say anything I didn’t entirely mean. “If you do it _right,”_ I tried again, “then I’m not going to stop you. But vampires who aren’t careful kill people **_and_** **_we two are not going to kill people_** _._ If you want to turn, we have to plan it carefully, think of what we do if you have trouble controlling yourself, and plan for that, too. And don’t forget that vampires burn in the sun.”

“Bonnie was our friend. Her grandma will make us daylight rings. You said that she knows how.”

“That doesn’t mean she’ll do it. Think about it – Bonnie was killed _by_ a vampire. Sheila might not be in favor of you becoming one yourself.”

“Whatever-”

“No,” I said sharply, “not whatever. Daylight rings are a big deal. There wouldn’t be a break to being a vampire – you could never see the sun. Just think about what that would do to your life.”

“Okay, _fine,_ but – but if she does make us daylight rings – and I promise to do it right...”

“Then, you can turn.”

“Promise?”

“Promise. Not that I could stop you anyway – but if you care what I think, then yes, I’m not against it.”

“Thanks,” Caroline murmured. Then she flinched, hiding her head between her hands. “Oh god, Elena. I’ve said such horrible things about Bonnie. I’m so sorry. I’m such a terrible friend.”

“You’re not a terrible friend, Caroline. I understand why you said these things, and you weren’t-”

 _“Don’t say that!”_ Caroline exploded. _“Don’t dare say I wasn’t wrong! Bonnie liked you better because **I’m a crazy control freak!** It’s not her fault!”_

I tried to put my arm around her, but Caroline pushed my hand away.

“ _Don’t touch me!_ Just – I want to go to bed. Can I go, please?”

“... of course.”

Caroline got up, and Stefan, who had faded entirely into the background until now, guided her outside of the room. I leaned back, wiping my eyes and trying to figure out what had just happened.

* * *

“Wow,” I murmured as Stefan returned. “I don’t even know what to say.”

“Caroline...” Stefan said slowly. “She’s usually very optimistic, isn’t she?”

“Yeah.”

“I think It’s hard for someone like her if things go so wrong.”

My response was a helpless shrug. It would have been a lie for me to pretend that I understood Caroline. I certainly wouldn’t have predicted her reaction. The truth was that I didn’t understand how most people thought – I just knew it when they said things that didn’t make sense.

“I’m sorry,” I murmured. “For not telling you that... you know. I swear, I just wasn’t thinking about it.”

“It’s alright. I’m not angry. I didn’t tell you about the Other Side, so let’s call it even.”

“Deal,” I said thankfully. “But... does it bother you?”

He leaned down to kiss me.

“No.”

* * *

On the following day, I came home around noon to meet an unexpected guest. It seemed as if Jenna had given in after all and had invited Logan to come over for dinner. Given the timing, they had probably met after the funeral.

If all he had wanted was to rebuild a broken relationship, I wouldn’t have minded – it was Jenna’s choice whether or not to give him a second chance. Unfortunately for him, the lack of a paper strip in the door frame of my room told me that he had something else in mind. I knew it wasn’t a mistake on my part; I distinctly remembered attaching it when I had left for Bonnie’s funeral.

I went over to Jeremy’s room. When he wasn’t there, I called him. He promised me that he hadn’t set foot into my room, and I saw no reason to think he was lying.

Since I had no interest in picking a fight, I waited until Logan was gone before I told Jenna, who did not take the news well.

_“ **That fucking lying bastard!** ”_

“Hey,” I said, “relax. He was probably instructed by the council to look for my watch. He’s just being loyal to them.”

But Jenna was having none of it.

“He lied to me. First, he _cheated_ on me, then he _lied_ to me and said he wanted me back, just to get a chance to sneak around in your room. That _fucking asshole_. I can’t believe I fell for him. I should have realized what was up when he took so long to, quote, go to the bathroom.”

“I don’t think this proves that he doesn’t care for you, Jenna. He can both like you and work for the council.”

“He lied to me! I thought you of all people would get how that feels.”

“I do – but still. Think about it from his perspective. If they expect this from him – you know how hard it is to disappoint people who rely on you. I just really don’t think it takes that bad of a person to-”

“ _Shut up, Elena!_ Stop defending him! This is the same guy who’s cheated on me. And he didn’t tell me that time, either – I found out about it myself. I _knew_ it was a bad idea to forgive him, and I was right.”

“Okay,” I murmured, “sorry. I just – I didn’t want to ruin something for you.”

“Oh, I’m definitely better off without him. I’m glad he was caught. Better now than later.”

“Alright... um, by the way – you didn’t invite him in, did you?”

There was no reason to suspect that Logan was a vampire – if anything, him working for the council made it even less likely – but I wanted to confirm that Jenna took our decision seriously, and the best way to ensure a rule wouldn’t be broken when it mattered was to avoid making exceptions altogether.

“I’m not- well, I _am_ stupid, clearly. But no. Do you know what he was looking for?”

I told her about the watch.

“ _Please,_ tell me it’s in your safe.”

“It’s with Stefan, actually. I gave it to him yesterday – we figured the council might think it’s here. Don’t worry, Logan won’t get it.”

“Good. Fucking bastard.”

“There are some other things we need to discuss,” I said carefully, “if you’re feeling up to it.”

“Sure,” said Jenna, “shoot. Distract me.”

* * *

On Sunday, Stefan and I told Jeremy, who took the news _much_ better than Caroline had. He did not ask to be turned, either – from what I could tell, he was still entirely satisfied with his life and his girlfriend.

* * *

Later that day, I visited the boarding house on a mission to explore the workings and limits of vervain. The results showed that there was, indeed, a minimum amount required for protection, but it was comically small: a tiny part of a leaf did the trick. When we tried it with less than that, the result was something closer to what I had imagined compulsion to feel like initially – there was a strong urge to do as Stefan had told me to, but my sense of agency was still present.

The upshot was that ingesting vervain daily should be practical after all. Even a dose four times the minimum amount would probably be small enough that a single plant would last for a year.

At some point after we were done, Zach came into the room to reveal that the council was searching for vampires. He also mentioned the compass. Nothing he told us was new, but it was good to confirm that he was taking our side.

“Would you let Stefan compel you to confirm that you won’t betray us?” I asked.

Zach looked offended. “I would never do that, Elena. You saved my life.”

“I’m sorry,” I said carefully, “I know this sounds like I’m mistrusting you. I’m not. I’m just against taking unnecessary risks, no matter how small. I would make _Stefan_ promise under compulsion that he’s not betraying me if it were possible.”

“Fine.”

“You’ve taken vervain, haven’t you?”

He shook his head. “I stopped after Damon died.”

“In that case – Stefan and I worked out a way to see whether someone is on vervain or not. We wanted to test it on someone else – do you mind?”

Judging by his gaze, the answer was yes.

“No, go ahead.”

Stefan stepped forward and looked at him.

“What did you have for breakfast this morning?”

“Two slices of bread, one with sausage, one with cheese, and two glasses of orange juice,” he said promptly.

“The idea is that no-one who’s faking compulsion would give that kind of a detailed answer,” I explained.

“Clever,” Zach commented. “Go on, then.”

“Are you planning to betray us?”

“No.”

“Would you consider it in the future?”

“Never.”

Stefan nodded and drew back.

“Thank you,” I said to Zach.

I had been wondering how answers were chosen under compulsion. It was noticeable that Zach had simply said ‘never’, whereas, when I had confessed to Stefan, I had added a caveat: ‘I _expect_ I’ll be with you forever or until I die.’ It was probably whatever seemed true to the victim – I did, indeed, expect to want to be with Stefan forever, but I knew it wasn’t certain.

In any case, now that Zach was in the clear, there was no reason to keep things from him.

“We have the watch,” I told him. “I gave it to Stefan to keep safe. But I’d like to have both parts.”

“Do you want me to steal the compass?” Zach asked, but Stefan shook his head.

“It won’t be necessary for you to take that kind of risk. I can do it.”

“The council wants me to supply them with vervain,” Zach warned us. “If you’re planning to compel someone...”

“I don’t think there will be a need for that. But just in case, I’ll get it tonight. You haven’t given them vervain yet, have you?”

“No. I wanted to tell you first.”

“Starting tomorrow, I don’t mind the council having vervain,” said Stefan. “Elena?”

“No – it makes sense. _Protection_ is good. Weapons, not so much. Are you just going to steal it?”

He nodded. “Don’t worry, Elena. I’ll know when someone wakes up. I can get out in time.”

“We don’t _need_ the compass... as long as they don’t have it. Don’t do this if it’s a big risk.”

“It’s not. Trust me.”

I nodded. It wasn’t lost on me that I hadn’t been shy of asking him for other things before. It certainly didn’t make sense for me to be more worried just because, this time, he had told me in advance what he was going to do.

“Alright. But send me a message once you’re back.”

* * *

As I had hoped, I awoke the next day to find the requested confirmation on my phone.

I smiled as I read it. Stefan was just so wonderfully reliable.

* * *

At some point in the coming week, I realized that things had begun to feel normal.

It wasn’t the old normal, of course – the life I now lived bore little resemblance to that from before the start of the school year. But that thought did little to make me nostalgic, for I knew I was happier now than I had been then – indeed, happier than I had ever been.

Within a week, Stefan had supplied me with everything I had asked him for, and I still had numerous new ideas. After two weeks, we had done several things that would have impressed even my past self, and I had only become even more ambitious as a result. And there had been nothing stopping us – vervain was not secretly worn by large swaths of the population, and nor had there been hidden obstacles to an excessive use of compulsion.

It appeared as if the world just _was_ insane, an anarchy through and through, and the only reason vampires weren’t in charge of it was that no-one had tried.

Even then, I had been careful to avoid anything that might plausibly attract attention. The list of people Stefan had compelled (an actual list – it was good to document stuff like that) was sizeable, but it wasn’t excessive. Moreover, there was no-one on it with a significant platform. In my mind, that too was just another precaution. I might not expect there to be consequences either way, but I wouldn’t take the risk – at least not while it wasn’t necessary.

On the twenty-sixth of October, I started going back to school. There hadn’t been a good reason to stay out for that long, it was just so _convenient_ not to go, and it seemed increasingly unlikely that my future was going to depend on my academic performance. At this point, I had decided to put off dealing with the tomb until at least the end of the year. We hadn’t seen a trace of another vampire yet, which probably meant that only Damon had known, but it would still be foolish to take the risk. The vampires had been there since 1864; a few more months would not matter.

Six days later, on a Sunday, I visited the boarding house around noon – I had long since gotten my own key. I walked through the luxurious entrance hall, hoping to find Stefan upstairs. But in the middle of the room, I froze. A woman I had never seen before had just come down the stairs. She was tan-skinned, blond, and was wearing nothing but a towel.

“Oh my god,” she said as she laid eyes on me. “How...?”

“I’m not Katherine,” I said automatically.

“Then... who... how...”

“Elena Gilbert. Stefan’s girlfriend. We don’t know how.”

I squinted at her. There was something about the situation... something about the fact that she had felt at home enough to use the shower... and that Stefan hadn’t been concerned enough to send me a message...

I could feel my heartbeat accelerating.

“Are you... Lexi?”

* * *

**End of Part I**

* * *


	14. Lexi, #1

“I am.”

“Oh my god.” Involuntarily, I brought a hand to my heart. “ _Oh my god!_ I had no idea you’d be here today. I thought it would be years before I met you.”

“Why would... what did Stefan say about me?”

“You’re...” I realized I was crying. “You’re the one... you... you brought him back when he lost his humanity. Twice.”

“Oh.” Lexi seemed surprised, as if it was nothing remarkable. ”Yeah, that’s me.”

I made a sound somewhere between a sob and a laugh. Then, I rushed forward and hugged her.

“Woah, hey!” Despite her surprise, she hugged me back after a while. “Are you alright?”

“I’m sorry,” I said as I drew back. “I’m sorry. I _tried_ not doing that.” I wiped my eyes, smiling. “I just can’t believe you’re here. I’m so happy.”

Lexi laughed, and then I did, too. My head felt dizzy.

“Stefan told me about you,” said Lexi. “But he didn’t mention the... similarity. You’re here to visit him?”

“I, um...” It took me a few seconds to comprehend the question. “... yes. Visit Stefan. Where is he?”

“In the shower. You wanna wait?”

I nodded.

“Well, I’m gonna go change.”

I nodded again, and she left.

I couldn’t stop smiling. When I went upstairs, I met Stefan, who was just buttoning up his shirt. There was no reason to say anything – he would have heard the conversation. I just waited for him to be done and take me into his arms.

“It’s my birthday,” he murmured, still holding me.

I looked up to him.

“You didn’t tell me.”

“I didn’t think it was important – but that’s why Lexi’s here.”

“Well, happy birthday.” I leaned up to give him a kiss. “I wouldn’t have known what to give you,” I whispered, then I kissed him again, “but I don’t think you could have asked for a better gift.”

* * *

“You do realize this is weird, right?” Lexi said as she returned, finding Stefan and me curled up together on the couch. “You and Katherine could be twins.”

Stefan shook his head. “No. Elena might look like Katherine, but it’s just on the outside. I’ve never met two people who are less alike.”

“So, you’re telling me there’s no connection? Just a total coincidence that your girlfriend looks like your ex?”

“Well...” Stefan seemed to squirm a little under Lexi’s gaze. “Okay, yes – you’re right – it’s not a coincidence. The... resemblance is what... drew me in initially. But I don’t like Elena because of what she looks like. I like her because she’s smart, really smart, and caring...” He pulled me closer to him. “... and because she pushes me to do the right thing, even if I don’t like it, even if she doesn’t like it.”

“And,” I added, “a little bit because of how I look. Come on.”

Lexi laughed.

“So what gives – are you related to her?”

“We don’t know – I’m adopted, and we haven’t tracked down my biological mother yet. It’s possible.”

“Mh-hmm.” Lexi took out a little makeup set. That made me look at her hands for the first time.

“Your daylight ring?” I asked, referencing the golden ring on her right hand’s middle finger.

“I wish.” Lexi sighed. “But no, it’s just jewelry. I don’t have one.”

I boggled at her.

“What?” she asked innocently.

“You, don’t, have, a daylight ring.”

Stefan had never mentioned this – I had assumed that the person he owed everything to, who was twice as old as him, would _obviously_ have a ring. He had told me that they were rare, but still.

“No... I’d love to have one, though. I’ve always been jealous of Stefan.”

“Well – okay – take Damon’s.”

I turned to Stefan, who understood the implicit question immediately.

“We both know you’ll be a vampire eventually, and I only have one beside mine. I wasn’t sure if-”

“Don’t be an idiot,” I cut him off. “Where is it?”

“You can’t transfer rings,” said Lexi, “they only work for the vampire they’re made for. And why would Damon give it to me, anyway?”

“If a vampire dies,” said Stefan, “the ring loses its owner. If another vampire touches it, the ring binds itself to him... or her.”

Lexi’s eyes widened. “I didn’t know that. But-”

“Wait,” I cut her off, “does that mean it’s bound to you?”

But Stefan shook his head. “I was careful not to touch it. The ring still isn’t bound to anyone. If you turn, I was going to-”

“ _Damon is dead?”_

Stefan nodded.

“ _Fuck!”_

“You didn’t like him,” I asked Lexi, “did you?”

“ _Like_ him? _Hell no_. But he was Stefan’s brother. What happened?”

“I...” Stefan began, but I was not about to let him take responsibility for this.

“I convinced Stefan to kill him,” I said firmly.

“ _You killed him?”_ Lexi stared at Stefan disbelievingly. He bowed his head.

“Oh my god. Why?”

Stefan took a deep breath. “The truth is... Elena is right. I wouldn’t have done it if not for her.”

“Then...” Lexi turned to me. “... why?”

“Because he was a perpetual mass murderer. He’s killed five people in the one week he was here.”

“And he killed one of Elena’s best friends,” Stefan murmured.

“Yes, but that is _not_ why I pushed you to do it. I did it to stop the loss of life, no matter whose life it is. I would have done the same if Bonnie were still alive.”

I turned back to Stefan.

“Where is the ring?”

“I don’t have confirmation that it works, Elena. I _think_ whoever touches it next will inherit it, but we’d have to test it to be sure. And if I’m right and another vampire touches it before you...”

“Where is it?”

“I’ll get it.” He was out of the room at vampire speed.

Lexi stared at me, looking shocked.

“Stefan was right,” she said after a while, “you’re not like Katherine. I’ve never met the bitch, but from what he’s told me, she never gave two shits about the lives of strangers.”

A few seconds later, Stefan returned, holding a tiny wooden box in his hand.

“Elena – if you turn, what-”

“You were going to give it to me?”

He nodded.

“Can I have it now?”

He hesitated but then gave it to me.

“Thanks.” I walked over to Lexi, offering it to her. “It’s yours.”

Lexi looked at the box, then at me.

“Are you sure?”

“Yup.”

“And... you’ve heard Stefan? If you give it to me, you’ll never get it back.”

I bowed my head, and Lexi took it. She could have rushed it, could have tried to touch the ring as quickly as possible to make sure I couldn’t take it back. Instead, she was careful, delicate in her movements, as if going wrong would risk destroying the box. Then, when the ring was exposed, she hesitated, offering me a final opportunity to change my mind.

“It’s yours,” I repeated softly.

Lexi reached out with her index finger and touched the ring.

Her eyes flickered upward to meet mine.

I smiled.

Lexi took off her own, golden ring and replaced it with what had once been Damon’s. She stepped across the room to open the curtains, but walked back as she did so, receding into the shadows as sunlight flooded the room. Then, carefully, slowly, she reached out with a hand.

It crossed into the light seamlessly.

Her skin remained unharmed.

“Wow...”

She took a step forward, now standing directly in front of the window.

When she turned around, and I saw the look on her face, I knew it was the happiest moment of my life.

“Thank you.”

I couldn’t talk; I was crying. But I managed a nod.

She bridged the distance between us at supernatural speed and hugged me.

My heart melted. Not even in my best moments with Stefan had I felt this level of satisfaction. Lexi not having a ring _when_ _Damon_ _had had one_ was injustice at a scale that defied description. Correcting this error was the most wholesome thing I had ever done.

“What if you turn?” Lexi asked over my shoulder, but I couldn’t respond. Even after she let me go, it took me a while to regain the ability to formulate words.

“Maybe... maybe Sheila can make one. If not... I don’t know. But it’s not your problem.”

She smiled at me, then hugged me again.

“I had no idea that rings worked that way,” she said to Stefan after we parted.

“Almost no-one knows.” I turned around. Though he was responding to her, his gaze was set on me. I wasn’t sure what his expression meant, but he didn’t look angry.

Was it... gratitude?

“Witches don’t want vampires to know,” he continued, “and any vampire who does know has all the reason in the world to keep it to himself. Most vampires don’t even know that daylight rings exist, but among those who do, many would be willing to kill to get one.”

“How did you...?” I probed.

“I overheard Amelia, Bonnie’s great-grandmother, in 1969. It was pure luck. That was right before she learned what I was.”

Lexi looked down at her ring, smiling. I felt another tear roll down my cheek.

“Let’s go out!” she said. “I wanna see the sun! But nothing public. Somewhere quiet.”

“We could go hiking?” Stefan suggested.

“Hiking! God, _yes!_ Let’s do it!”

Stefan nodded, getting up from the couch. He turned to me. “Do you...”

“I...” I had to clear my throat. “I would love to come,” I said in a hoarse voice, “but if you want to do this without a human component...”

“You can join us,” said Lexi, “as long as we don’t have to go at your speed.”

I shook my head.

“And you’re used to being carried?”

“Yeah, Stefan has carried me before.”

“Then come along! But make sure to have something warm. Vampires don’t get cold easily, but you might.”

I hadn’t anticipated taking a hike when I had decided to visit, so I hadn’t brought warmer clothes. I only had my purse, which I now took with me wherever I went. I turned to Stefan.

“I’ll get something for you,” he said immediately and was gone a moment later.

“You want to go with Stefan? Or...”

“Can I go with you?” I asked.

“Yeah, of course.” She stepped in front of me, and I put my arms around her neck, trying to get into a comfortable posture.

“Aw, you’re light as a feather.”

I giggled.

“I can be even faster than Stefan. Has he ever run at maximum speed?”

“Dunno. How fast are you?”

“I can do a hundred and twenty miles per hour. He’s lucky if he makes eighty.”

“It’s her age.” Stefan had returned mid-sentence, carrying a backpack. “And the human blood.” Seeing me already on Lexi’s back, he shouldered it himself. “All set?”

“You’re secure back there?” Lexi asked.

I tightened my grip. “I think so. Maybe don’t go at full speed right away?”

Lexi laughed. Then there was a blur, and a moment later, I was downstairs. She was noticeably less careful than Stefan had been – I felt the acceleration much stronger than I had with him. But I wasn’t in danger of falling off.

When Stefan opened the door, I resorted to closing my eyes. I held onto Lexi as tightly as I could while the wind blew into my face, and felt ridiculously happy.

* * *

It turned out that, when a vampire said ‘hiking’, what they meant was ‘let’s climb the mountain in a ridiculously short amount of time and chill out at the summit’. It couldn’t have been more than ten minutes until Lexi told me to get down, and when I opened my eyes, I found myself standing on a gorgeous mountain top. I had never gone hiking myself, so I was certain that I’d never been here before. To one side, there led a way downward at a gentle slope; to the other, a steep drop of several hundred feet.

“It’s so beautiful,” murmured Lexi as she stared across the cliff. Mystic Falls wasn’t visible, but there were several other towns that I couldn’t name. “I’ve forgotten what it looks like.”

Now that I wasn’t holding on to Lexi’s body anymore, it was quickly getting cold. “Cloak?” I asked Stefan, who nodded and pulled one out of his backpack.

“Do you remember in 1872?” He asked Lexi as he handed it to me. “I think that was the last time we went hiking together.”

It took a few seconds, then Lexi’s face lit up. “Yeah! That was back when you were into-”

“Yeah.”

“-painting. Man, you were not good.”

“I got better over the years. But by the time we met again in eighty-three, I’d already given up on it.”

“Mhh. But back then, we could only go out at night. And I still remember when we almost stayed out too late...”

It went on like this for a while. I sat down after about a minute, observing the back and forth with a constant smile on my face. I had, admittedly, not seen Stefan interact much with people other than myself before. Still, it was a safe guess that there weren’t many others he would be so carefree around. I couldn’t even imagine how it must be to know someone for over a century.

I gathered enough to infer that, unlike either of us, Lexi was a naturally outgoing person. It was also noticeable that there were a bunch of anecdotes about various phases in Stefan’s life, whereas, based on what I heard, Lexi had never struggled with much of anything.

After a while, I got cold even through the cloak and got Stefan to take the spot beside me. We exchanged a soft but passionate kiss as he drew me close to him. Afterward, the two of them returned to talking about how people’s lifestyles had changed over the decades.

Eventually, the discussion turned toward Stefan’s animal diet. I listened with interest when he described the different effects on his psychology, then decided to chime in for the first time.

“You’re feeding on humans and compel them to forget?” I probed Lexi. According to Stefan, this behavior caused inevitable fatalities, although I wouldn’t be surprised if Lexi had unusually good self-control.

“Oh, no,” said Lexi, “no no no no. I don’t like doing that anymore. Too risky. I got a bunch of friends working in hospitals – they supply me with donor blood.”

“And it’s risky because...?”

“Oh, you can never be sure they’re fine. Most humans can survive with, like, a liter of blood missing, you know, but maybe they’re already sick. I’ve had cases before when I had to give someone my own blood to save them, and believe me, that’s _not_ what you feel like doing when you’re feeding on someone. Plus, there’s always a chance they’re drinking vervain.”

“So, it’s all blood bags for you?”

“Yeah, pretty much. Sometimes I resort to animals when I’m out. Tried going full animal diet once – didn’t work out – but for emergencies, it’s alright. I like foxes,” she added with a chuckle. “If there’s no-one supplying, I steal it. I haven’t eaten fresh from a human since... 1991, I think.”

I smiled. Lexi would be in black digits even if she killed occasionally, but it was no less nice to hear that she didn’t.

“And what about you? I hope you don’t let Stefan take your blood.”

“Don’t worry,” said Stefan, “I’ve never taken her blood, and I’m not going to. She’s the one taking blood from me.”

Lexi’s eyes widened. _“Excuse me?”_

“I think it’s all part of her plan to take over the world.”

“I’ve been taking some precautions,” I said in response to Lexi’s demanding gaze. “All very careful, reasonable, good things.”

“She’s convinced her entire family to drink my blood,” continued Stefan, apparently delighting in making me sound crazy.

“ _A few drops_ of his blood,” I supplied the missing details, “twice per day, which we _never_ take straight from the source. Like I said. Very reasonable.”

“She even carries my blood around with her.”

I rolled my eyes, but opened my purse and held up a small hip flask. It was silver colored and perfectly opaque.

“Holy shit.” Lexi took the thing and opened the lid. She briefly smelled at it, then gave it back. “And you’re doing this... why?”

“Well, suppose I hear someone breaking into my house, and it’s been five hours since my last drop. I might not have time to run into the cellar, but I can take this out and take a sip. That way, even if I get killed two hours later, I still come back. Or, suppose I get abducted, but I get to keep my purse. It could be a life-saver.”

“She’s also made me steal her two hundred thousand dollars.”

“Money could be useful,” I said reasonably, “perhaps we’ll have a need for some expensive item at some point. I realize how being creatively careful can sound strange to insane people,” I added, “but you’ll notice that, for everything I’ve done, the benefits clearly outweigh the costs.”

“Insane people,” repeated Lexi. “That means like... me?”

“It means everyone,” I said darkly. “Every other person I’ve met so far.”

“Even that guy?” Lexi pointed at Stefan, who was still lovingly holding me and chose this moment to plant a soft kiss onto my neck.

“I’m in the process of converting him. I think sanity can be contagious.”

“Right...”

“It’s true,” said Stefan unexpectedly. “Spend enough time with her, and you start seeing things her way. Okay, look,” he added upon Lexi’s doubtful glance, “imagine something does happen to her brother. Say he gets into a car accident tomorrow. He would be dead if Elena hadn’t arranged the blood thing, and all it takes is me supplying her once per month. It’s no trouble.”

I turned my head to kiss him.

“It’s also different from vampires taking human blood,” I added. “There’s no threat of addiction. Blood just tastes gross to humans. I can assure you that it hasn’t become any better since I’ve started drinking it regularly.”

“Maybe if you hang around long enough, she’ll have an effect on you, too,” suggested Stefan.

“Well,” said Lexi, “I had planned to stay for just one day.”

_“What?”_

Lexi laughed at my apparent shock. “Relax, Elena. That was before I met you.” She gave me an affectionate poke. “There’s no way I could leave now. I’ll stick around for a couple of days.”

“Good.” I relaxed back into Stefan’s embrace. “Good, good. Actually... I would very much like it if you could stay... maybe for a bit longer than that...”


	15. Lexi, #2

“So I can be around when you turn?”

“No – although,” I corrected myself, “it would be amazing if you were. But no, that’s not the reason.”

“What then?”

“Do you know about what happened in Mystic Falls in 1864?”

“Of course. That’s the year Stefan was turned.”

“And he told you about...”

“Katherine, the church, the fire. Yep.”

“Well, what he hasn’t told you about – because we’ve only found out about it recently – is that the vampires didn’t die. When Katherine betrayed Emily by telling the town she was a witch, Emily made a deal with Damon: he would protect the rest of her family and their descendants, and she would save Katherine. Apparently, the only way she saw to do this was by protecting _everyone –_ so now, twenty-seven vampires are in the tomb below the church, mummified but still alive. At least,” I added, “that’s what we think happened. We haven’t actually seen them.”

“Emily used an amulet to channel the powers of a comet that passes earth’s orbit once every one hundred and forty-five years,” Stefan supplied, “and the same amulet can also be used to open it. But it only regains its power the next time the comet returns, which was-”

“-this year,” Lexi finished for him.

Stefan nodded. “On the ninth of September. That’s why Damon came here – he stole the amulet and wanted to open the tomb to free Katherine. But he only got to the stealing part. I injected him with vervain on the same night.”

“And the amulet...?” Lexi inquired.

“Is locked behind two inches of steel that no vampire in the world could break through,” said Stefan. “And protected by a very expensive alarm system.”

Lexi looked at him.

Then, she looked at me.

I smiled.

“Okay,” said Lexi, “so you guys could just open the tomb if you wanted to?”

“We still need a witch,” said Stefan, “but if Sheila is willing to help us, yes.”

“And the plan is to do – what?”

“That’s the dilemma,” I murmured. “One, we don’t want to free vampires who will kill humans once they’re out. Two, we don’t want to keep anyone in there who’s innocent. Three, we don’t want to keep _anyone,_ innocent or guilty, locked up indefinitely because it prevents them from passing on to the afterlife – better to be killed than to be a mummy forever. And four, we don’t want to be killed by a vengeful vampire who’s angry at us for whatever we’ve chosen to do. So far, the only thing we’ve done is to protect the amulet and to monitor the area around the tomb.”

“You want them to pass on... for their sake?”

I nodded. “Even if they’re serial killers, I still want to grant them an afterlife. I don’t think punishment makes sense if they can’t hurt anyone either way.”

“But are you sure you’d be doing them a favor?”

“Um...” I made. I did not like the question. “What do you mean?”

“Vampires who pass on just wander around on the other side forever,” said Lexi, “alone. That’s what I’ve heard. Is that really better than there being – just – nothing?”

“I think,” I said, my voice shaking, “I think this stuff makes me uncomfortable, and that’s why I’ve never considered it, but you may be right. I don’t know.”

I noticed myself thinking about it more, and resisted the urge to push the thoughts away. If passing on was worse than nothing...

... then that was absolutely horrible, and as far as vampires were concerned, it might make death into a fate _worse_ than what I had once believed, not better...

... and it might be a reason, the first good reason I had heard, not to turn...

It would even be an argument to keep them locked up forever after all, except that opening the tomb without the amulet obviously wasn’t impossible.

“It makes me uncomfortable, too,” said Lexi. “Hell, I just don’t want to die and find out. So what do you want... me to do?”

“Um,” I stammered, “um... I... nothing in particular. I don’t – I’m mostly thinking – there’s still a chance someone out there wants to open the tomb, even though we haven’t seen them yet, and in that case, it would be really nice to, like, raise our power level. Team Stefan/Elena only has one vampire, and he is one and a half centuries old – only counting vampire years – and feeds on animal blood. We did make some preparations that might help, but I’m still pretty scared of having to fight someone at Stefan’s age. But you’re three hundred and twenty-nine years old, vampire years only, and you feed on human blood. No-one turned around 1864 would be a threat to you. And... we’ve tried to find out as much about the tomb vampires as possible, and most of them seem to have been turned around that time. It’s not a stretch to think that people who were close to them aren’t too much older, either. Obviously, we don’t know that.”

“I think Sheila could burn any vampire in the world alive if she wanted to,” Stefan reminded me. “It doesn’t matter if they’re a thousand years old.”

“Right. But Sheila isn’t really on the home team, more on an allied team. She’ll help us with some things but not with others, and we don’t trust her with everything. And... I know witches are overpowered, but they’re also vulnerable. Like – let’s say I’m a vampire as old as Stefan who feeds on human blood. I have no moral qualms about killing innocents, and my goal is to open the tomb. Here’s what I do. I compel some kind of army veteran to wait somewhere in range of Sheila’s home with a sniper rifle. I choose some moment where you’re outside the house, and they have aim on Sheila. They kill her, I attack you at the same time; I’m stronger, so I presumably beat you; I force you to tell me the combination to the safe; I kill both you and me, and that’s that. I’ll grant you that most vampires aren’t creative enough to do that,” I added, “but it’s kind of not great if we’re all dead as soon as someone who doesn’t like us learns to think outside of the box.”

“I hope I’m never someone you want to kill,” murmured Stefan.

“No shit,” said Lexi.

I had lowered my gaze while I had been talking. It was a habit; looking at someone’s face was too distracting. When I raised it again, I noticed Lexi was staring down at her ring.

“I’m not sure if I want to stick around... god, I’m such a coward. But I know that I owe you, so...”

“You don’t owe me.”

“Come on, Elena. Of course I do.”

I disentangled myself from Stefan and stepped toward her, taking her hands in mine.

“Lexi. Without you, Damon would still be alive, Katherine would probably be free right now, and I don’t know how many people would be dead. I might be dead, too. I certainly wouldn’t be with Stefan. Everything I have, everything we’ve done in the past weeks, is because of you. _You don’t owe me a thing_. And we’re not even, either. If you want to stay out of trouble and won’t stick around now that you know what’s up, I totally get it.”

“Do you really?”

“Not wanting to risk being killed? _Hell yes!_ I’m _terrified_ of dying. Why do you think I make sure to have Stefan’s blood in my system at all times? And I don’t buy for a moment that it’s less bad if you’re already old. If you don’t want to risk getting involved-”

But Lexi shook her head. “Forget it. I’ll help you. Nothing’s even happened in the past month, right? It’s not like I’ll be stepping into a war zone. And if you turn, I’ll be there no matter what.”

“Alright – but you _don’t_ owe me. If you’re doing this, you’ll be doing us a favor. Which I’m very happy for,” I added, and Lexi laughed.

“Sure. I don’t mind doing you a favor. Although – if I am staying longer, I’d ask my boyfriend to move here, too. Do you think you can house one more person, Stefan?”

“Is it serious?” Stefan asked, not even bothering to answer the question.

Lexi bowed her head. “Very.”

One look at Stefan’s face told me that this was a big deal.

“Is he a vampire?” I inquired.

Lexi smiled.

“He is now.”

* * *

When we returned about an hour later, Lexi reminded Stefan and me why she had visited in the first place and insisted we do something to properly celebrate his birthday. We decided to spend the evening at the grill, and, with permission from both vampires, I invited Jenna, Caroline, and Jeremy to join us. I ended up spending most of the time with Stefan, but from what I could see, all of them got along great with Lexi, especially Jenna. We left shortly before midnight, and I decided to sleep at the boarding house.

When we finally went to bed, it was one in the morning. I curled up next to Stefan and fell asleep with his arms around me.

* * *

On the following day, I went down early for breakfast. Stefan and I had woken up to the same alarm, but he usually went out right away to feed. I was on my second sandwich when Lexi came down.

“Morning,” I greeted.

“Good Morning. Mind if I...?” Lexi made a gesture toward the kitchen. I shook my head, and she produced a bag of donor blood out of the fridge.

“How much do you drink per day?” I asked as she sat down beside me and started on her meal.

“Around forty ounces. Can do less, if necessary.”

“And is it...” I stopped there, only now realizing that it was a somewhat awkward thing to ask. Lexi looked at me questioningly.

“Well,” I said, hiding behind my sandwich, “I was wondering – I’ve asked Stefan how it is to drink animal blood, but it’s not really the same...”

“Oh, you want to know how good it feels?”

I nodded.

“It’s... pretty much just the greatest thing there is? I mean, that’s really the reason vampires are dangerous. It’s so good that many would do anything to get more of it.”

“If you say it’s the greatest feeling there is – what about...”

“Sex?” Lexi asked, and I nodded, blushing.

“Not even close.”

Though still flustered, I managed another nod. It wasn’t surprising.

“That’s why Stefan is the only vampire I’ve ever met to adopt an animal diet. I’ve tried it once, like I said. Lasted three weeks. It’s _way_ too much to give up.”

“And how,” I asked, “how large is the difference between drinking it directly and... like this?”

“Mhh...” Lexi took a sip through her straw before answering. “Zero.”

I made a surprised face.

“Hunting down humans is about the thrill of it. But the blood itself? There is no difference. Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying.”

“Isn’t it, like, warmer or something?”

“It would take at least a year for you to even notice stuff like that. If you turn, you’ll see what I mean.”

I could feel a rush of anger – if Lexi was right, then it made the behavior of other vampires even less defensible.

“Does it get easier?” I inquired. I was eager to hear a second opinion on everything relating to bloodlust. “I know that newborns can have trouble controlling themselves.”

“Kind of. The thirst doesn’t get weaker, though. You just get better at controlling it.”

I finished my second sandwich.

“Are you worried you might hurt someone when you turn?” asked Lexi.

“Worried, yes – but I think we’re well prepared.”

“Prepared how?”

“We’ve bought a house – pretty isolated, over a hundred miles from here. The plan is that I’ll stay there, at least for a while, probably locked into a room for a few days.”

“And then?”

“We’ll do some experiments. See if I can control myself around other people – see how bad it is if they’re bleeding, stuff like that. I’d only return once we’re confident I have it under control.”

“People rarely plan for their transition,” said Lexi. “Will be interesting to see how well you do. But – I’ll be there no matter what. Unless you were only being nice when you said you wanted me to.”

I shook my head. “I wouldn’t do that. I don’t do white lies. I would love for you to be there. We have a plan, but there’s always stuff that can go wrong, and Stefan can’t watch me all the time. Having another adult there would be great. Especially if it’s you.”

Lexi smiled warmly at me, then took another sip at her straw.

“Your personality as a vampire...” I inquired next, “... it’s like the one you have as a human but more extreme, right?”

Lexi nodded.

“Something I’ve been worrying about... um... I cry easily. You might have noticed...”

When I looked at Lexi, I realized that I was feeling much less embarrassed than I had anticipated. I didn’t understand why – Lexi wasn’t even saying anything – but somehow, she was giving me the feeling that it was okay.

“... it’s already pretty extreme – so if I turn and it gets worse...”

Lexi emptied her blood bag, then put it aside.

“That could happen,” she said, and my heart sank. “Although, you can never be sure how exactly you’ll change until you do. Some changes are predictable, but there’s almost always something that comes as a surprise. From what Stefan has told me, Damon wasn’t that bad of a guy as a human. I don’t think you would have expected him to turn out the way he did if you had met him then. And there are good surprises, too. You didn’t seem embarrassed by it,” she added. “Is it that big of a deal?”

“Depends on who’s with me. It’s fine if it’s you, or Stefan – or Jenna, Caroline, Jeremy, Matt, Tyler – anyone who knows me has seen me cry dozens of times. But I don’t like if it happens around other people, and it does... like in class...”

Lexi shrugged. “Not much I can say there.”

I nodded. “Thanks. For not lying.”

“Sure.” Lexi leaned forward a bit. “Now, tell me what’s going on with your mom.”

“What do you mean?”

“You said you haven’t tracked her down yet, but Jenna told me she found the address of an old friend of hers – Trudy?”

“Oh... yes, she did.”

“Why haven’t you gone to talk to her yet?”

I hesitated.

“I... don’t really know,” I said eventually. “I _think..._ I just really enjoy my life right now, ever since we’ve dealt with all vampire problems. I don’t feel like I _need_ to find my biological mother... and maybe I also thought it would be too much good at once if I did.” I rubbed my brow in thought. “Those are bad reasons,” I observed, “especially because waiting could make it harder.”

I stood up and carried my plate, jar, and knife into the dishwasher – the rest could stay there since Zach still needed to eat.

“Do you have plans for today?” I asked as I returned.

“Nothing important.”

“Then we’ll go today – if that’s okay with you.”

“You want me to come along? Why?”

“I’m a descendant of Katherine – probably – and Isobel’s my mother. That’s a link to vampires.”

“Not sure I get it – what do you expect to happen if you talk to her?”

“Expect? Nothing. But the cost of being unprepared if there’s something is at least a thousand times that of being careful if there’s nothing. A vague link is more than enough for me. I was always going to drag Stefan along – if you don’t want to come, obviously you-”

“No problem,” said Lexi. “I’ll come with you.”

“Good. Thanks.” I leaned back in my seat, satisfied – it felt good to finally have made the decision.

“How was the sex?” I asked, pointing at her blood bag. Lexi laughed.

* * *

Trudy’s home was in a lovely and expensive-looking area, with several proper trees standing in between her house and the neighboring one. I double-checked the address I had written down – 312 Boulder Eve – then walked up to the door and knocked.

Just a few seconds later, the woman I had seen in the photo opened, giving me a friendly smile.


	16. Anarchy, #1

“Trudy Peterson?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“I’m Elena – I think I’m the daughter of Isobel Flemming.”

That had the expected effect.

“My god...”

“You knew her, right?”

“Yes... yes, I did.” She took a step back. “I was just going to make tea – would you like some?”

I nodded. “I would. Thanks.”

“The, uhm... the kitchen’s this way...”

I entered the house, well aware that Trudy had not formally invited me in. I wondered whether it was intentional or not, but only until I noticed her looking outside of the door before closing it. It seemed like my caution had been justified, and I made a mental commitment to double down on instincts of this kind in the future. Stefan and Lexi had not waited in sight of the house, so I knew Trudy hadn’t seen them, but they were supposed to be in hearing range (at least, hearing range for Lexi). We had agreed on a signal for ‘I’m in danger’, but it didn’t seem warranted just yet.

Trudy invited me to sit down at the dinner table, then briefly disappeared into the kitchen to set up the water. I pulled the Gilbert compass out of my pocket and threw a look at it, careful to keep it below the tabletop. After spinning around a bit, the needle pointed away from the kitchen and into the direction of Stefan and Lexi. Trudy was not a vampire.

I could have tried whispering something to communicate with Lexi but decided against it. Instead, I pocketed the compass and took a look around. The room looked very nice. Everything was orderly, clean, and there was a tasteful and somewhat expensive-looking picture hanging on the wall. Whatever Trudy did for a living, she wasn’t short on money.

I wondered whether someone had known that I was going to show up here. It would be a rather large coincidence if Trudy just happened to know about vampires by chance, so _something_ was probably going on. But what it was, I had no idea.

Trudy returned. _She might be under compulsion_ , I realized as she sat down.

“So – I’ve seen a photo of you two as cheerleaders,” I said. “You and Isobel. How close are you?”

“Uhm... well, we used to be friends, but I haven’t seen her since she went off to have... you. We’ve kept in touch after that, for a while, but you know... people drift apart.”

“Do you know where she ended up?”

“She was in Florida, for a while... she was on her own. I know it wasn’t easy.”

“And,” I inquired, “what was she doing there?”

Trudy just shook her head. “I don’t know. We’ve only talked a few times. I think she got together with someone else... well, eventually she went to college on a scholarship.”

“Do you know where?”

“Somewhere in North Carolina. Duke, I think. Smart girl, smart school.”

“Right... and, do you know who my father is?”

“No,” Trudy said apologetically. At that time, I could hear the kettle whirring. “Sorry, I could never get her to fess up... uhm, let me just grab that.”

I mulled the situation over, thinking about how to proceed. Trudy did not feel threatening, and she was my only link to Isobel... I decided to continue the conversation, at least for now.

“What was she like?” I inquired as Trudy returned.

“Isobel was... she was very smart... it never got boring with her. She always had something she wanted to do. I got into cheerleading because of her.”

“Was she a nice person?”

“U-uhm... yeah, she was nice.”

It didn’t sound convincing, so I decided to dig deeper. “Nice to you? Or nice in general?”

Trudy seemed uncomfortable.

“Why do you ask that?”

“Well,” I said, “I want to know what kind of a person my mother is – not just the good parts.”

“She was... Izzy was... perhaps a bit selfish?” Trudy gave a nervous smile. “You know, it would always be a lot more about her than me, or anyone else.”

I nodded. “Thanks for telling me... you went to school together, right?”

“Yes.”

“How was she doing? In school?”

“Oh, she was good. Really smart. Always did really well. Even though I don’t think she was trying very hard. She got a scholarship, like I said.”

I could feel a small shiver run down my spine. Selfish and smart, and something was making Trudy at least slightly uncomfortable... I had no idea what any of it meant, but it didn’t feel right.

“What was her favorite subject?”

“History. Izzy loved history. She told me she wanted to become a researcher one day.”

“Was that what she studied at Duke?”

“I... think it was called folklore.”

“Was she religious?”

“Er... no. No, she wasn’t.”

“I was just wondering,” I said, answering the unspoken question, “most people who have a child but don’t want to keep it would rather abort than give it away. Though I’m very happy that she didn’t,” I added.

Trudy laughed nervously.

“We’ve talked a bit while she was pregnant with you. She was... considering it. In the end, she just didn’t make up her mind in time. And when it was too late, she realized that she didn’t want to give up her career.”

“I see...” I said slowly. “... well, I’ve been living in the same place my entire life... she knew where it was. If she wanted to find me, she could have.”

“I’m sorry...”

“It’s alright,” I murmured. “I had a mother who loved me.” I didn’t add that she had since passed away. “What about other guys? Do you know anyone she dated?”

Trudy shook her head apologetically.

“Izzy had a lot of relationships in school, but none of them lasted very long. I really have no idea. I’m sorry. Uhm... I think the tea should be about ready, now.”

She went back into the kitchen. I could feel my mood dropping. Selfish, lots of relationships, got pregnant early, didn’t decide what to do with the baby, gave it away to an ostensibly random family... not only did that not sound like me, it also didn’t sound like a person I would like very much. It wasn’t the relationships – I had had a bunch of those myself – but the unintentional child didn’t reflect well on her. There was a chance she had just gotten unlucky since most methods weren’t airtight, but it seemed more likely that she had neglected to use contraception altogether.

It was a bit odd – I was judging her for an act that had resulted in _me,_ in giving me a life that I very much liked and intended to keep. But still – the way someone handled their love life and unwanted pregnancies did say something about what kind of a person they were, regardless of the result.

“Here you go,” said Trudy, putting a cup in front of me.

“Thanks.”

I took a sip and immediately recognized the flavor. I had ingested vervain every day for several weeks, and Jenna and I had, in fact, made tea out of it once.

The fact that Trudy was serving me vervain tea suggested... what?

“I have some photos of Izzy and me,” said Trudy, “do you want to see them?”

One, it meant that I could be in more danger than I had anticipated. Two, it meant that Trudy was almost certainly not interested in harming me.

I had to make a decision, so I did. I lifted my hand and snapped my fingers twice.

“This,” I said to Trudy, “is vervain tea.”

“Oh, you recognized it?” Trudy was either playing dumb or still pretending for the chance that I knew the tea without knowing what it was good for.

“Yeah,” I said, “I’m also wearing some here.” I lifted up my pendant in between two fingers.

Trudy stopped smiling.

“I think you should go.”

I stood up, walking toward the entrance. If another vampire was on their way and they had been invited into the house before, there was a chance for things to end badly even if that vampire was a lot weaker than Lexi. As soon as they entered the house, she would no longer be able to protect me.

I opened the door. I couldn’t see them – too late, I realized that our planning hadn’t been precise enough; we had never specified what their reaction to the sign should be. Lexi must have heard the part about vervain tea, and she and Stefan had probably figured that it wasn’t enough to come out of cover.

“Stay close,” I whispered. Then I stepped back inside and closed the door.

“Please,” urged Trudy, “leave.”

“I think it’s better if you tell me what’s wrong.”

Trudy shook her head. “Just leave. Trust me.”

“Listen,” I said, thinking quickly. “If it’s just Isobel, vampire or not, I can-”

“You really, really need to leave,” said Trudy, and she resolved to open the door herself. She looked as if she was about to push me outside.

It felt like a mistake, but I didn’t know what else to do anymore.

“Fine.” I stepped outside, and Trudy closed the door behind me without saying another word.

I retreated back to the street – it probably wasn’t a good idea to stay around alone. I considered pulling out the compass, then heard a whistle. Turning into the direction, I saw Lexi standing a bit further down the street.

I hastened my steps. When I was almost there, Stefan appeared beside her.

“You’re alright?” He asked, and I nodded. “We didn’t know what to do. Lexi heard the sign, but...”

“My bad. Should’ve planned better.”

“What now?” asked Lexi.

“I... don’t know.” Nervously, I pulled out the Gilbert compass, only to remember, not for the first time, that it was useless with two vampires standing right next to me. “Okay – let’s go back to the car for now.”

Whatever we were going to do, leaving certainly wasn’t it. If Trudy was expecting a vampire (which would explain the tea and why she had kicked me out), I wanted to know about it. The reason to return to the car was a practical one: we were less likely to be overheard with the engine running and less likely to be seen if we were off the street.

_Goal: prevent a vampire from harming Trudy, prevent her from telling them I visited, find out what’s going on._

_Also, stay safe._

What we really needed was a place to watch the entrance without being seen or heard, so that we could react to whatever was going on. Unfortunately, it was the middle of the day, and there was no obvious place to hide from vision and no place at all to hide from hearing.

“Okay,” I said once Stefan had turned on the engine, “can either of you hide close to the house and keep an eye on the entrance? That way, we’ll hear it if she calls someone, and we’ll know if she’s leaving or someone’s coming.”

“I should go,” said Stefan. “Lexi will be better able to know what’s happening from far away. And she’s faster, too. And I’ve got some practice hiding.”

I nodded. “Take a vervain dart with you.”

He opened the trunk and produced not one but two of the weapons, handing me one of them.

“If we don’t see anyone,” I said as I took it, “I think we have to get our hands on her phone somehow. Anyway, good luck.”

We exchanged a kiss before he left.

“You push it into the skin,” I said to Lexi. “You don’t need to do anything else; It outputs vervain as soon as something touches the needle.”

Lexi took the device.

“Just how much stuff have you prepared, Elena?”

“Lots,” I said, not without satisfaction. “I can show you the list if you want. This one is a repurposed medical thing. Wasn’t easy to get, but we have a bunch of them. You have to squeeze out vervain flowers to get it into liquid form. Very high concentration.”

“And I thought this was going to be boring. Can I see the compass?”

“Yeah, of course.” I pulled it out of my pocket. “It’s not really a compass that points to vampires,” I said as the needle began to spin. “Otherwise, it would have already pointed in your direction. But every time I pull it out, I see it readjusting again. Probably a witch thing.”

We both looked at the needle as it quivered around, eventually pointing toward Lexi.

“Man,” said Lexi, “I’m so glad you took this. If the council gets their hands on this thing, that just smells like dead vampires. And one shot is all it takes. I almost wanna destroy it right now.”

“Does resistance to vervain not increase as you get older?”

“Resistance to everything increases, but if you hit me with this thing,” she held up the dart, “I’d bet you it’ll still knock me out. Not for long, maybe, but probably long enough to stake me.”

“The council doesn’t have vervain darts,” I said, “but they do have guns with wooden bullets. Anyway, I would offer you the compass if you could use it. But, really, there’s no risk the council gets it. It’s in the boarding house whenever we’re not using it, and it’s _very_ well protected.”

“I wouldn’t take it if you offered. I trust you way more than myself to keep it safe. You’re clearly putting more effort into it.”

That made me smile.

“Thanks.”

“Lemme just get something.” Lexi popped the trunk, stepped out of the car, and returned with a blood bag. “Makes you stronger,” she said as she opened it. “Wouldn’t wanna be unprepared.” She gave me a grin, and I giggled.

* * *

“I hear someone,” said Lexi. It had been about fifteen minutes, give or take, and we had stayed in the car the entire time.

I tapped her elbow, then put a finger on my lips. She nodded. I opened the door, stepping outside. While doing so, I heard a beeping sound from Lexi’s phone. A few seconds later, Lexi appeared beside me, showing me the screen.

 _Someone’s coming in a car,_ the message read.

“Can I...” I whispered, pointing onto her back. She let me climb on. Then, at an absurd speed, she carried me within sight range of the house.

“No-one else?” I asked.

“I only hear one car.”

Lexi whistled, and a few moments later, Stefan appeared beside us. He seemed to have hidden in the bushes between the two houses. After a few seconds, I climbed off Lexi’s back to get a better look for myself. At this point, someone had stepped out of the car and was approaching the entrance. It looked like it was a man, although we were too far for me to be sure.

“She’s opening,” whispered Lexi. “She asked, ‘may I help you?’ He said, ‘thank you for the text’.” She gave me a look, then went back to narrating. “‘I didn’t tell her anything. I kept my promise.’ He said, ‘good’. ‘The girl though, she knew something.’ Now he said, ‘that won’t be a problem.’ Well, that can’t be good. He said, ‘she won’t get any closer to the truth’. Trudy says, ‘good’. Now, ‘so I’m done?’ ‘Yes, you’re done.’ **_Shit!_** _”_

Within a second, Lexi was gone.

“Come on,” said Stefan. I climbed onto his back, and he ran, but when we arrived, I saw that the situation was already under control: the man was in Lexi’s grasp, the door was open, and Trudy was standing behind it, looking horrified.

“-just gonna chill now,” I heard Lexi say. “Take it easy, and no-one has to get hurt. He’s human,” she added toward Stefan and me.

“Don’t worry,” I said to Trudy, “you’re safe. Unless more people are about to show up. Are they?”

“No,” Trudy squeaked, “I don’t think so.”

“Could you invite Stefan and Lexi in, please?”

Trudy frantically shook her head.

“Lexi here,” I said patiently, “has probably saved more lives than there are people in Mystic Falls. And it looks like you’ve just become one of them. I think inviting her in is the least you can do.”

Trudy said nothing but still looked as if the thought horrified her.

“Are you being threatened by a vampire who’s over a century old?” I inquired. “If the answer is no, there’s nothing you have to fear. We can and will protect you.”

“... come in, please. And,” she added toward Stefan as Lexi dragged the guy inside, “I guess you can come in, too.”

“Thank you,” Stefan said to her. “Why don’t you take a moment to calm down? We’ll have a little talk with your guest.”

“Is he under compulsion?” I asked.

“Easy way to find out.” Lexi pulled him around and looked straight into his eyes. “Why are you here?”

“The lady said if I got the text, I have to come and kill her,” he said at once.

“Sweet, no vervain. What lady?”

“The beautiful lady with black hair. I don’t know her name.”

I turned around. “Trudy?” I asked. “Can you show us a photograph of Isobel? I don’t have it with me.”

“... yeah, of course.” Trudy disappeared into the living room and came back with an opened photo album. She handed it to me, and I handed it to Lexi, pointing at one of the pictures of Isobel.

“This woman?” Lexi asked the man.

“Yes, that’s her.”

“Did she say why she wanted to kill Trudy?” I asked.

“Answer her question,” Lexi demanded.

“No. She called it ‘cleaning up’.”

“If not for her, would you ever kill someone?” asked Lexi.

“Never. I only did what the lady told me.”

Lexi turned to me. “Do we just let him go?”

I shook my head. “He seems innocent, but he’s our only link to Isobel. Can you just tell him... dunno, not to be afraid, and to stick around a while? Also, tell him to answer all of our questions honestly, that’ll make things easier.”

“Sure.” Lexi turned back to him and relayed the commands. I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself down. Everything appeared to be under control; no more reason to panic.

“What now?” asked Stefan. “What do we do?”

“We catch Isobel,” I said promptly. “She’s demonstrated that she’s willing to murder for basically no reason – she could have compelled Trudy instead of sending someone to kill her – which probably means she’s a serial killer. In any case, it’s enough to create a moral responsibility for us to stop her.”

“Isobel sent him to kill me?” echoed Trudy. “I didn’t think... she’s threatened me once, but I never thought she would do that.”

“Vampires can choose to turn off their humanity,” said Stefan. “It’s possible that she was decent as a human, but isn’t anymore.”

“Do you want to lock her up?” asked Lexi.

I nodded. “Barring some exonerating circumstances, that seems like the appropriate reaction.”

“I know that’s not what I would have done, but I guess I see your argument.” Lexi looked at Stefan as if to ask for his opinion.

“I don’t want anyone to die,” said Stefan, “and I trust Elena to make the right decisions. She’s been right before.”

“All on board with the mission, then?” I asked rhetorically. “Alright – let’s catch Isobel.”


	17. Anarchy, #2

“Did you communicate with Isobel by phone?” asked Stefan.

The man nodded.

“Show me the call history.” Stefan stepped beside him, and the man showed him his phone without protesting.

“It’s this one,” he said, pointing at something on the screen.

Stefan looked at me. “It’s not suppressed. We could track it.”

I bowed my head. “Go for it.”

“Track it?” Lexi echoed. She gave me a disbelieving look. “Don’t tell me that you actually-”

“We did,” I said grimly. The truth was, it hadn’t even been difficult. I had been worried at the time, but once again, it had turned out that there was no obstacle between deciding to use compulsion in pursuit of a goal and that goal’s achievement. Every single vampire – certainly every vampire with a daylight ring – had the ability to acquire this power. They just had to do it.

And if there was a secret elite of people who knew about vampires, the head of the Virginia State Police wasn’t among them.

“It’ll take a few minutes,” I added toward Trudy. “In the meantime, tell us what happened.”

* * *

The backstory we gathered was short and went as follows: a few months ago, Isobel Flemming had shown up at the doorstep, and an unsuspecting Trudy hadn’t hesitated to invite her old friend inside. Without any preamble, Isobel had exposed herself, had threatened Trudy’s life, and had instructed her to text a specific number the moment someone came to her looking for Isobel. Since then, Trudy had read up on vampires online, and someone on a message board had told her about vervain.

“Anonymous people on the internet know about vervain,” observed Lexi as we got to that part of the story, “but professional law enforcement doesn’t. That’s kind of scary.”

“The problem is that anonymous people on the internet also know about the earth being flat and lizard people controlling the government,” I murmured. “For someone who doesn’t already know, it’s probably difficult to tell that the vampire stuff is different. But you’re right – it’s scary.”

I made a mental note to come back to this later. At some point, I would have to look into it myself, or perhaps get Jenna to do it.

Unlike Trudy, the man (whose name was Daniel) had first met Isobel at a bar. She had been flirtatious and had gotten him to follow her home. Eventually, she had compelled him to come and kill Trudy in the event that he got her message.

Why Isobel had involved him at all rather than compel Trudy directly, I had no idea. There probably was no good reason. Despite what Trudy had told me, and despite her being my mother, the truth was that Isobel simply didn’t seem to be smart. Her plan, if you could call it that, appeared to be needlessly complicated, and it looked like something that shouldn’t work. Which, as a matter of fact, it hadn’t.

No, all of this did not reflect well on her. Neither on her character nor on her intellect.

“I got it,” said Stefan, who had been waiting on the phone until now. “72 Woodhill Avenue. It’s a bank-owned foreclosed house. Very expensive.”

... and on top of everything, she had hidden at a place that we could have found without using tracking technology altogether. Whether I would have gotten the idea, I didn’t know, but it certainly wasn’t a smart place to hide.

“Alright,” I said with a sigh, “I don’t think there’s any reason to make this complicated. We just go to her house, stick a vervain dart into her, and that should be that. If it’s government-owned, we won’t even need to be invited in. Against someone smart, I would be worried about it being a trap, but as is... the only problem I see is that Isobel might expect a call from Daniel. But, I guess he can just answer and claim Trudy is dead.”

“She might come to check,” said Lexi.

“She might. I don’t think it’s likely. And she might be more careful if she comes here. I don’t think she’ll expect us to show up at her house.”

“Should we go right now?” asked Stefan.

“I think so. We’ll take the car. Trudy and Daniel come with us.”

“What?” asked Trudy, seemingly shocked. “Why?”

“Because there’s a vampire out there who wants you dead and knows where you live.”

“But – but, but aren’t you going to deal with her anyway? Can’t I just stay here?”

“No. What if she comes to check, as Lexi said, while we’re on the way? I’m not risking your life for no reason. If things go well, we’ll be back in an hour. But for now, you have to come with us. I want to guarantee your safety, and wherever Lexi is is the safest place in Mystic Falls.”

“What if there are other vampires there?” asked Stefan.

I shrugged. “We’ll rethink. We go there in the car, don’t talk – we’ll just drive until we’re in hearing range.”

“And if Isobel calls on the way?” asked Lexi.

“If she calls while we’re driving, then Daniel...” I paused. “... doesn’t pick up,” I decided. “If he tells her Trudy is dead, she might ask him to take a picture of her body or something. But if he doesn’t pick up, there could always be a mundane explanation. Alright.” I stood up. “Let’s go.”

* * *

72 Woodhill Avenue was on an absurdly luxurious and very large property – so large that there was no way to approach the building from the front without being the only car in a hundred-yard radius. But the back was much closer to the street, and Lexi indicated for us to stop before we had even gotten as close as was possible. Stefan drove the car onto a parking spot and turned off the engine.

With the vampires in the front, I was sharing the back row with our two involuntary companions. It had taken us about twenty minutes to get here, and Isobel still hadn’t called.

“I can hear her,” whispered Lexi. “It’s difficult because there’s much other stuff... gotta concentrate, filter it out...”

I waited, trying to guess the distance between us and the foreclosed house. It might have been a hundred yards, perhaps a bit more.

“... _oh_.”

“What?” I asked at once, immediately worried. I still remembered to whisper – it was quite unlikely that anyone in the house would notice our conversation, but even so, there was no reason to risk it.

“Isobel is... home and... having some fun.” Lexi turned around to look at me. “Sorry. Don’t shoot the messenger, okay?”

I stared at her. I had a hunch as to what she was talking about, but my brain wanted to reject the idea as obviously preposterous.

“They’re... at least three, I think.”

“Tell me you’re joking.” I brought a hand to my head, squeezing the top of my nose. “... please.”

“Nope.”

“What are the odds the other two are there out of their own free will?” asked Stefan.

“Zero?” suggested Lexi.

“Well... I’ve known vampires who have done this,” murmured Stefan. “You can compel people... not just to do things, but also to feel a certain way. That can make the experience very... passionate... so I’ve heard.”

He had turned around and was looking at me. Lexi was, too.

“Oh no,” I whispered once I realized that they were waiting for me to say something, “ _no._ Stop looking at me. I’m a seventeen year old virgin – and this is my own mother forcing people to have sex with her. I have no idea how to deal with that. You two are ancient. You decide what to do.”

“Fair enough.” Lexi turned back around.

“Are we sure they’re human?” asked Stefan. “We can’t risk going in unless we are.”

“No easy way to tell,” said Lexi. “I could try reaching out to them – they’re close enough – but if they are vampires, they’ll notice.”

“And the compass won’t help because of Isobel,” murmured Stefan. “So, what do we do?”

“Well,” said Lexi, “we could wait – maybe I’ll hear something that will clear it up. But it’ll be very awkward.”

She looked back at me.

“I’m not in charge,” I repeated stubbornly, feeling a not at all pleasant heat under my face. “If you want to wait, don’t narrate.”

Lexi grinned. If she was able to take the situation with humor, that was good on her. I wasn’t.

“You can’t hear them, can you?” she asked Stefan. When he shook his head, she demonstrably leaned back in her seat. “Well, _I’m_ not related to Isobel, and it’s nothing I haven’t heard before. I can listen to this for a while, if it helps.”

So we waited. I kept my eyes closed and tried my best not to think about what exactly Lexi was hearing of feeling.

The situation itself was awkward enough, but the presence of the two people sitting beside me made it even worse, despite the fact that neither of them had said a word since we had left Trudy’s home. This hadn’t been planned. We had been supposed to go in and out quickly, not wait around in a car like this.

But I knew that it was the responsible thing to do. There was no real cost to what we were doing, and if they were vampires, going after Isobel could be a devastating mistake.

After what felt like an eternity, I heard Lexi break the silence.

“They’re human,” she said. “And they’re not there because they wanted to be.”

I figured that I probably didn’t want to know how she could tell, so I said nothing.

“So what’s the plan?” asked Stefan.

“Give me a vervain dart. I’ll go in, get Isobel out, compel her two lovers to forget everything, and send them home. Shouldn’t take more than five minutes. You guys wait here. Sound good?”

I nodded.

“Are they close to done?” I heard Stefan ask.

“Doesn’t sound like it.”

“Then, I’ll drive us up the front. Isobel is unlikely to hear it while she’s busy, and it’ll be much easier to drag an unconscious body into the car.”

I heard the sound of the engine and felt the car moving. Five minutes later, give or take, we slowed back down. I reluctantly opened my eyes. We were on the property, albeit still not close to the house, and Lexi was getting out of the car.

She gave us a wink, then ran toward the house at vampire speed. Following an instinct, I got out of the car myself and re-entered at the front, taking the passenger’s seat.

“She’ll be fine,” whispered Stefan.

“Is Isobel still...”

He nodded.

“Tell me if anything goes wrong.”

“I think it was open,” whispered Stefan. “I didn’t hear a lock break.”

Meaning Isobel had not even been careful enough to lock her own door.

“Lexi says we’re good,” said Stefan, now talking at normal volume. “Isobel’s been taken care of.”

“Oh.” That had been very quick. I let out a breath, driving both hands through my hair. “Wow. Thank god.”

“She’ll need a while to compel them and-”

“-get everyone dressed,” I finished for him. “Got it.”

I felt a weight lifted off my chest, and realized that it hadn’t just been the awkwardness – I had also been afraid. Now that I could think more clearly, I had to admit that it made sense. Sex work was already a thing, and if you were a vampire without morals, you could get as much of it as you wanted, whenever you wanted, with whomever you wanted. You could even compel your victims to feel whatever you wanted. This was more than any human could ever hope to get, and it was virtually free.

I shuddered. Putting it like this, I began to wonder why it wasn’t more common – Stefan had made it sound like only a few vampires did it. Lexi had told me that drinking blood was better than sex, but still...

I flinched when, suddenly, I had another thought.

It might be that no vampire had ever bothered to get into politics. But there was something else on offer, something far more attractive for the average person, and far less dangerous...

How many guys were out there who wanted to have sex with Angelina Jolie? Or any other female celebrity? And if they could, how many would do it?

You could even turn it around. Ordinary rape was predominantly committed by men, but since you didn’t need force and you could make your victim pretend to like it...

( _No, not even pretend,_ I corrected myself. _You can make your victim genuinely like it._ )

... that should do a lot to make it attractive to women. Hell, _Isobel_ was a woman, and she was officially the first rapist I had ever met.

How many girls would like to be with Leonardo DiCaprio?

And anyone who was a vampire could do it. It would be laughably easy. Catch them at an event, or get a bodyguard to give you the address and visit them at home. Either way would work. And if the head of the highest installment of law enforcement in our state wasn’t wearing vervain, there was no way that celebrities were.

Among humans, it took a psychopath to rape a person. But among vampires, the same would not be true. Not if you could make your victim smile and say that they loved you. Not if no-one was using force, and no-one’s life was destroyed. Not if no-one hated you for it. If there weren’t consequences. Psychologically normal people might be tempted by such an offer. And the only thing holding them back would be their conscience. But what was one’s conscience if stacked up to this?

And then... it didn’t need to be just once. You could choose to stay with your victim. You could make them say publicly that they loved you. You could make them break up with their previous partner. If you wanted, you could make them marry you.

And you didn’t even need a daylight ring to do it.

I felt a sickness in my stomach that was unlike anything I had ever felt before. How often did this happen? Today, in the real world? How many celebrities had been with vampires? And was this the true reason depression and drug use were so high among them?

“Elena?”

I turned to Stefan.

“What’s wrong?” He seemed shocked. I only now realized that I was crying.

I swallowed. “Nothing... um... nothing that concerns us.” I cleared my throat, but the lump in it did not disappear.

“What do you mean?”

I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. I promise. I just realized something, but if I’m right, it’s been that way for years. It’s not... it doesn’t have any bearing on... any of this. I’ll tell you about it when we get home.”

I leaned forward and let him take me into his arms. I was shivering.

Lexi appeared not soon after that, carrying Isobel’s body with her. I wasn’t sure whether or not she had heard the exchange, but either way, she and Stefan allowed me to be lost in thought while they took care of the practicalities. Lexi compelled Daniel to remove all knowledge of vampires and called a cap for Trudy and him. Then, she went into the back row along with Isobel, so that we could keep the situation under control in the event that she woke up on the way home. I stayed in the passenger’s seat next to Stefan, brooding over the unsettling discovery.

In some sense, I knew I was making it into a bigger deal than it really was. The perpetual loss of life that vampires caused was much worse, and I had known about that for months. (And, of course, even _that_ wasn’t anywhere near the top on a list of humanity’s biggest problems.) No, in an absolute sense, this didn’t matter that much.

But it was ugly. It was really, really ugly. There was something viscerally appalling about the realization, something that cut deeper than the death of unnamed people. Perhaps it was the way it so callously exposed the world for what it really was: an anarchy. Not for most people – most people still lived their lives without ever coming in contact with the supernatural. But for those who did, there was no order, no law, no oversight. There was only strength. If you were strong enough, you could take what you wanted, from anyone. Isobel had taken what she wanted because she was stronger than the people whose lives she had uprooted, and I had taken what I wanted because I was stronger than Isobel.

And the scary part: there was only one reason why this was true, and that reason was sitting in the back row right now, twirling a vervain dart in her hand and giving me a grin when I turned back in my seat. Without Lexi, this would have been an entirely different operation, and knowing myself, I might well have called it off altogether based on the risk being intolerably high.

“What did you tell the humans?” I asked. “The ones with Isobel?”

“That they’ve just met and snuck into the empty house to have some fun,” said Lexi. “It’s up to them what they do now, but they don’t remember anything about Isobel.”

“Does that mean they were...”

“A girl and a guy.”

“Right...”

“We need to wait for Isobel to wake up before we can get home,” said Stefan. I was pretty sure that he had waited for me to stop brooding to say this.

“Why?” I asked. “Wait, never mind – she’s not invited in.”

“No problem,” said Lexi. “Isobel can’t refuse the invitation. Zach just has to say the words, and I can move her.”

“Right,” I said. “Let’s blindfold her if possible. I don’t want her to know where she is.”

* * *

It all worked perfectly – Zach wasn’t happy about the development, but he agreed to invite Isobel inside. We didn’t need to wait long for her to wake up, and when she did, Lexi got her into the cell without trouble. Watching this, I realized that the difference in strength between someone of Lexi’s age and a newborn was even larger than I had imagined.

I waited until Isobel was safely locked into the (now soundproof) cell before I said out loud what was bothering me.

“Please tell me that I’m wrong,” I added after I was done explaining, “and that this isn’t really a thing.”

“Oh, it’s definitely a thing,” said Lexi, her voice grim. “I’ve known a vampire who used to bring celebrities to parties. Well,” she corrected herself, “one celebrity. A singer. He was with her for a while – and a few years later, I’ve seen him with another. Also a singer. A rising pop star.”

“And he compelled her?” asked Stefan.

“Yup. Not sure if I’ve seen him do it, but man was it obvious. She practically worshiped him. And he wasn’t exactly a catch. And he wasn’t treating her well, either.”

“Did he sleep with her?” I asked.

“Obviously.”

“And did he think of it as rape?”

“You know the answer to that,” said Lexi.

“So is the solution to stop thinking of it as terrible?” I asked. “If no-one is hurt... should I just stop looking at it as a terrible crime, and instead as... I don’t even know what?”

“The solution,” said Lexi, “is to not think about it at all. Brooding over all the fucked up things vampires do is a recipe for depression. You need to suppress these things, Elena. Most vampires are great at that, let me tell you.”

Her tone was humorous, but I didn’t take the bait.

“How common do you think it is? Like, what’s the chance DiCaprio has been with a vampire?”

“Man, you’re shit at suppression.”

“Thanks.”

Lexi sighed. “It’s fucking high. I don’t know. I would be surprised if he hasn’t been with at least one before. I don’t think most would go so far as to force him to make it official, so you wouldn’t know by keeping up with celebrity gossip. Which I totally don’t, anyway. Do you?”

“No. But Caroline does, at least a little. I’ll have to talk to her about it.”

“Do you want to be miserable?”

“I want to know what’s going on.”

I looked at Stefan. When he noticed my gaze, he suddenly got up and, before I had realized what was happening, he was by my side and leaning down to kiss me. Even though it was unexpected, I returned the kiss. I could feel a cold shiver run down my spine as he took my head between his hands.

“What was that for?” I asked as he drew back, his face still inches away from mine.

“I’m not sure. Maybe I just didn’t want to see you unhappy.”

Involuntarily, I felt a smile on my face.

“Isobel made you think of this stuff?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

He sat back down – not in his old place, but right next to me.

“What are we going to do with her?” he asked.

“Well,” I said, “that’s the harder part. As of now, she’s at least a rapist, probably a murderer, certainly an attempted one. Do we assume she has her humanity flipped?”

“Sending people to do your bidding,” said Lexi, “throwing their lives away, being generally reckless, using humans as sex slaves...” She was counting the items on her fingers. “... yup, that sure sounds like someone who’s flipped their switch to me.”

“Okay – well, the two relevant questions are, one, what can we do to make her turn it back on, and two, how can we tell if she did it?”

“You can never tell for sure,” said Lexi. “I mean, if she was decent as a human, all the guilt’s gonna catch up with her as soon she turns it back on. You’d notice _that_ , but she could also be faking it. Problem in her case is... we don’t know why she turned it off in the first place. Some vampires do it to deal with loss, and in those cases, if they turn it back on, they’ll want to keep it on. But if she _wanted_ to turn it off...” Lexi shrugged.

“She’ll just turn it back off as soon as we let her go,” Stefan finished for her.

“Yeah,” said Lexi, “those are the really shitty cases.”

“If you’re willing to turn it off, knowing that it will make you a murderer, then you _are_ a murderer,” I said grimly.

“Fair enough,” said Lexi. “So, what do you want us to do in that case? I mean... are you saying we have to...”

“What? _No!”_ I said, my voice communicating genuine shock. “What the hell? She’s my _mother!”_

Lexi sighed. “Right,” she murmured.

“My _mother!”_ I insisted. “You have to remember what that means. Mother and daughter. Even if she’s a murderer, surely you can’t expect me to do _that._ Or allow it to happen.”

Lexi nodded. “No,” she said, “I get it.”

I threw a brief look at Stefan, who was staring down at his hands. His face was neutral, but I could tell that I wasn’t fooling him.

“I mean,” I continued, “could you really imagine the kind of person who would do something like that to someone they had such a tight bond with? Just for the greater good?”

Lexi returned my gaze.

Then, her eyes trailed over to Stefan.

Finally, they returned back to me.

“You would actually kill her.”

“How much of a hypocrite did you think I am?” I asked, feeling genuinely a bit hurt. “After what I’ve made Stefan do? The bond between Isobel and me is a joke compared to what he had with Damon. He’s known him for over a century, and I’ve never even talked to her.”

“I’m not sure I’ve ever internalized what you did,” said Lexi. “If it makes you feel better, I felt a bit disappointed while you had me fooled.”

“There’s no need to treat me with kid’s gloves,” I said. “If you think I’m being stupid or unfair, you can tell me.”

“We don’t know if it’s necessary to go that far,” Stefan reminded us. “Maybe she had a reason to turn off her humanity. We should talk to her and find out.”

“Right – let’s hope.” I looked around. “We should strategize how to best talk to her. Where’s my purse? I need my diary.”

* * *

An hour later, I approached the cell, alone.

The little barred hole you could previously see through now had a hatch you could pull up and down – this had been the trickiest part of soundproofing the room, but much was possible if you could simply compel any contract worker you hired.

I pulled it up so I could look inside. I saw Isobel – she was awake – sitting on the floor, leaning against a wall. When she heard the hatch opening, she walked up at human speed to face me.

Whomever she had expected, I could tell from her face that it hadn’t been me.

She opened her mouth, then closed it, giving me a scrutinizing look.

“... Elena?”


	18. Anarchy, #3

“Hello, Isobel.”

“Where am I?”

“You don’t get to ask questions,” I said. It was more difficult than expected to keep my voice steady, but I managed. “You ordered Daniel to kill Trudy. Why?”

“I thought you might be looking for me. I didn’t want to make it easy.”

 _If that’s what you wanted,_ I thought, _why didn’t you just kill Trudy – or better yet, make her disappear?_

“She was your friend in high school?”

“She was.”

“Then, why were you willing to kill her just like that?”

“Because human life means nothing to me.”

“Why?” I asked. If Isobel was willing to talk so freely about her lack of morals, perhaps this didn’t need to be complicated.

“Because the only person I care about is myself.”

She smiled, and that sent a shiver down my spine.

“My turn,” she said. “Where am I?”

“You don’t get to ask questions,” I murmured.

“Come on, Elena. You’ve just locked up your own mother. Least you can do is tell me where I am.”

“No. You don’t get to ask questions. I mean it. Have you always been like this, or are you just bad at being a vampire?”

“You want to reform me?” asked Isobel in a demonstrably derisive tone. “Forget it, Elena. I _want_ this.”

I suppressed the urge to express my frustration. Whether Isobel’s character had been drastically transformed or not, it was in her interest to make me believe that it was. Telling me that she couldn’t be reformed was, from her perspective, just plain stupid.

I thought back to Damon. I hadn’t realized how much decency there had still been left in him until right now. Damon had shown remorse about killing my friend, and while I had passionately accused him of not extending this to his other victims, he had, at least, acknowledged that he had done bad things. ‘I deserve to die’, he had said.

And he had not smiled when talking about the people he had killed.

Because his humanity had still been on.

Well – as long as Isobel was willing to reveal information freely, there was no reason to change tactics.

“Why wouldn’t it work? Vampires want to keep their switch the way it is. Of course you don’t want to turn your humanity back on while it is off.”

“Didn’t you hear me, Elena? I told you that I want this. I have no interest in going back to feeling sorry for anyone. That’s why I turned it off in the first place. Now, tell me where I am.”

She hadn’t even asked – she had ordered me to tell her – and somehow, I knew that she _expected_ me to obey.

“No.”

Isobel gave a sigh, and this was perhaps the most uncanny moment so far.

She sounded _annoyed_.

It was as if her being locked up was a minor inconvenience.

“Elena,” she said, “you do not want to get on my bad side. Don’t think I’ll spare you just because you’re my daughter. I told you. I don’t care about anyone but myself.”

I remained silent until I got my emotions under control. I even suppressed the urge to close my eyes and take a breath – I would not give her information, not even about the kind of person I was.

“Is there any reason why you’re still in Mystic Falls?” I asked, ignoring her question entirely.

Isobel gave another sigh. “You do not want to do this, Elena. Trust me.”

“Answer my question.”

“Not until you tell me where I am.”

“You don’t get to ask questions. I’ll come back tomorrow.”

And without awaiting a reply, I pulled down the hatch.

* * *

By the time I was back in the living room, I felt sick.

“Is this what people become with their switch flipped?” I managed.

“Yeah, the hubris is normal,” said Lexi. “Maybe it’s not always this extreme.”

“Alright then.” I sat down. “Let’s see how much hubris she has left tomorrow, after twenty-four hours without blood or distractions. Don’t visit her until then.”

I noticed Stefan’s gaze lingering on me. He looked as if he was about to say something, but when he did, he was addressing Lexi, not me.

“I haven’t told you this,” he began, “but when Damon was down there, I guarded him for about four days before I decided it was safe enough to go and visit Elena. That was before I had told her anything. Not that it mattered – she had already figured it out herself. But-”

“You figured it out yourself?” interrupted Lexi. “How?”

I told her the missing part of the story. “It was luck, mostly,” I added. “I would have never suspected vampires if Vicki hadn’t just told Matt that she was attacked by one.”

“You still deserve some credit for taking it seriously,” said Lexi.

“Yeah, well...” I gave the hint of a smile. “... never let anyone tell you that understanding the concept of prior probability and updating on evidence isn’t useful for real life.”

During one of our later visits to Sheila, she had mentioned that the presence of vampires could be a trigger for visions and the like from witches, especially if those witches didn’t yet have their powers under control. This meant that Bonnie giving me hints to the supernatural when I most needed them hadn’t quite been a coincidence. Of course, having her as a friend in the first place certainly was.

“When I finally told her,” Stefan continued the story, “her reaction was to yell at me and tell me to go back and make sure Damon’s still locked up. She thought it was obvious that I shouldn’t have left. I returned to find Damon in the midst of breaking out, a second away from killing Zach. I’m not exaggerating. He was putting his hands on his neck when I got there. I screamed at him to stop. For a moment, I thought he was going to do it anyway. I could see that he wanted to. I told him I would rip his heart out if he let Zach die. I didn’t want to be responsible for another death. So Damon let him live. He threw his body at me and tried to run. No chance, of course, he was starving, and it was still light outside, and he didn’t even have his ring. I caught him. Brought him back into the cell. Damon begged me to let him out. That was the first time he begged.”

I listened to the story with interest – it included details I hadn’t heard before.

“If you’re wondering why I really trust Elena, and why I’ve wanted her to talk to Isobel, this is the reason. She knew almost nothing about vampires at that point, and she still made better decisions than I did. And so it was with Damon. Now Zach is alive because of her. He’s not like us. Like Damon and me. He never did anything wrong. And Damon already killed his girlfriend.”

_Woah._

Well, _that_ was a lot more than a detail.

“He compelled him to forget?” I asked.

Stefan shook his head. “I did it. It was my fault. I broke Damon’s neck at the party in 1994. He did it for revenge. Killed most of the people there and murdered Gail while Zach was watching. She wouldn’t have died if not for me. It’s the same that happened with Bonnie. I provoked him, and he punished me by killing innocent people. I should have learned from my mistakes then, but apparently, I didn’t.”

I was about to ask why he had never told me, but the question never made it past my lips. Lexi had walked up to him when he had said this, and she put an arm around his shoulder. Next, though it was subtle, I saw the expression on his face change.

And, suddenly, I felt like a horrible person.

Lexi wasn’t blaming him. She wasn’t even questioning him. There was no judgment of any kind. Only comfort. And this was probably the reason why she had been able to help him. People didn’t like being judged. He wouldn’t have listened to her if she weren’t like this. Not for years at a time.

Conversely, _my_ reaction had been all about me, about why he hadn’t told me sooner. But wasn’t the answer obvious?

I tried to remind myself that there was a reason why I was the way I was, that true kindness didn’t mean doing what the other person liked best, but what was best for everyone. If Stefan was afraid to disappoint me, if he felt pressure to do better, that was a good thing. That pressure might save lives, and that was what really mattered. But it was hard to feel that way while watching him receive something from Lexi that I knew I would never be able to give him myself. My love for him was conditional – Lexi would be with him no matter what.

“I’ve once asked you whether you want to know things about Zach,” Stefan now said to me, _even though I had kept all of that to myself_ , “and you said no. That’s why I didn’t tell you.”

I felt like someone had stuck a knife into an already bleeding wound. But I wasn’t allowed to tell him that he didn’t need to worry. He _should_ worry. Keeping him from slipping up again overrode every other concern.

“Makes sense,” I murmured.

“I’m telling you now because I don’t know what I should do,” said Stefan. “Zach has never been with someone after that, as far as I know. Is it because of what I did? Should I tell him?”

“‘I hated Damon’,” I quoted numbly. “‘He’s threatened me, but it was more than that. Every time I looked at him, something in me... I don’t really understand it myself.’”

“Zach said that to you?” asked Stefan.

“Right after Damon died. I think you were in hearing range. If I remember it right, you had just gone to get some items for the burial.”

“I don’t remember it. I might not have noticed. If you’re a vampire, there are always so many sounds you can hear that it’s easy to miss things.”

Lexi drew back from him. “You should’ve let me do it,” she said. It was clear that she was criticizing him for the first time.

“You think it’s because of the animal blood?” he asked.

“Yeah,” said Lexi. “I mean, probably, right? You’re the expert, but you’ve told me compulsion isn’t perfect.”

“It’s pretty good,” I came to his help. “We’ve used it extensively, as you know. Things have gone shockingly well so far. No-one has ever been able to resist. Nor even show signs of resisting.”

“Yeah, people will do what you want,” said Lexi, “but Zach recoiling from Damon for reasons he can’t place, that sounds to me like exactly the kind of thing that falls under the difference between compulsion by Stefan and by me. And, like, compelling the head of the Virginia police force to track phone numbers for you isn’t exactly a traumatizing experience for him, is it?”

“We’ve done a lot more than that,” I said, “but I take your point.”

“I just know that there wouldn’t be anything left if I had compelled him,” said Lexi. “It would just be like it had never happened.”

“You’re right,” said Stefan, addressing Lexi. “You’re right. It was stupid. I should have asked you.”

“Well,” said Lexi, “we’ve all done more stupid things in our lives than I can count. Or, err...” She gave me a look. “At least Stefan and I have.”

“I’ve let Bonnie leave a stadium full of people to go to the bathroom because I was afraid of looking weird if I told her to stay,” I murmured. “And that’s just the one mistake that ended up mattering. I’ve done plenty of stupid things.”

“Zach has a daughter,” said Stefan, which was yet another unexpected piece of information. “Gail was pregnant when Damon killed her, but we could save the baby. I think that’s why I haven’t told him yet. I should have done it as soon as Damon died. But I was afraid of his reaction.”

“Shit,” said Lexi.

“I don’t see why this can’t have a happy ending,” I said. “You didn’t tell him because you wanted to protect her from Damon, right? But now Damon’s dead – and it’s only been two months. Jenna waited longer than that to tell me that I was adopted. Just tell him now – he may be angry, but he’ll forgive you eventually – he can go visit his daughter, and everyone will be better off.”

“I’m not sure he’ll be as understanding as you think,” said Stefan. “And this is his house. And he’s on the council. We can’t afford to lose his loyalty.”

“Not telling someone something because you’re afraid they’ll be mad at you for not telling them...” Lexi left the sentence unfinished. “Besides, Elena saved his life, and you killed the person who murdered his girlfriend. He kind of owes you, doesn’t he?”

“And remember that Zach said under compulsion that he would never betray us,” I pointed out. “And I know ‘never’ can mean ‘until I find out more’,” I quickly added, guessing what Stefan had been about to say, “my point wasn’t going to be that we’re fine and he won’t do it, it was that we can just ask him again. If it’s still ‘never’ after he knows, I don’t think we have to worry.”

“He’s not on vervain?” asked Lexi.

“I don’t know,” said Stefan. “I’ve barely talked to him recently.”

After that, no-one seemed to know what to say. Eventually, Stefan broke the silence.

“I have to think about it. I’ll have to stay here anyway to guard Isobel. One of us has to do it, and I’ve failed with Damon. It’s time to make up for that.”

“A difference between then and now is that the cell can’t be opened without a key anymore,” I reminded him. “Even if she lured someone here, they wouldn’t be able to free her.”

“They would still be a danger to Zach,” said Stefan. “And it’s possible that she contacts a human who then contacts a vampire.”

I nodded. He was right – even with the lock, it would still be foolish to leave the house unprotected.

“Well,” I murmured, “I do want to go home. Jenna deserves an update, and I would also love to get further away from Isobel for a while.”

“Can I come along?” asked Lexi.

“... to my place?” I asked, just to make sure.

Lexi nodded.

“Sure. Yeah. That would be great. And I don’t actually have a driver’s license,” I added. “I was going to walk, but if you’re going, could you drive us?”

“Sure.”

“And,” I probed after a moment’s consideration, “do you still have donor blood left?”

“I do. Why? Are you worried I’ll ask your brother for a snack?”

“No. ... I was wondering if I could have some.”

Lexi looked at me as if she expected it to be a joke.

“Why?”

I explained it to her.

“You’re insane,” said Lexi – but I could tell from her tone that she wasn’t upset. “That’s extreme, even for you.”

I shrugged. “Not sane enough to do it without you. I’ve considered it weeks ago and didn’t go through with it because it seemed like too much of a hassle to get human blood. And we both thought that having it around would be... problematic.”

“Better not to tempt the recovering alcoholic,” said Stefan.

“But with you having some anyway,” I continued, “it’s almost free. I’ll only need about five ounces. It’s partly because of Isobel,” I added. “She seemed so confident that she would get out – it’s worrying me a bit. I know her arrogance comes from the switch, but... you know. Just trying to be safe.”

Lexi gave a shrug. “Go nuts.”

* * *

“Thank you, by the way,” I said to Lexi once we were on the road. “For your help today. Um, left here,” I instructed, remembering that she had never been to my place, “and then left again after we pass the bakery. Anyway, catching Isobel would have been _much_ harder without you. So, thanks for that.”

“No problem,” said Lexi. Then, she laughed. “You know, Isobel didn’t even notice me until the dagger was stuck in her neck. You could have probably walked in there and staked her yourself.”

“Maybe. But that’s not what would have happened. Without you, we either don’t try at all or turn around once we hear there’s more than one person in there. No way I let Stefan go in there alone. Which means that Isobel wouldn’t be here right now... not to mention that you also made me go to Trudy in the first place.”

“Well,” said Lexi, “no problem, as I said. It was fun.”

“Isn’t that the kind of thing you explicitly didn’t want to sign up for?” I asked, referencing the reluctance to stay longer that she had expressed on the previous day.

“I had much more dangerous things in mind when I said that. Today wasn’t exactly scary, was it?”

“Only because Isobel is a moron, though,” I pointed out.

“You seem to really hate her.”

“Of course I do. _She_ _killed people.”_

“She didn’t do anything to you.”

“That doesn’t matter!” I said forcefully. “Judging people by how they treat you, that’s like... like-”

“-normal?” suggested Lexi.

“- _fucking stupid_ is more like it. And yes, probably also normal. But ‘normal’ isn’t good – no, just go straight here – normal means being like everyone else, and everyone else-”

“-is insane,” Lexi finished for me. “Right, right. Yeah, I think I understand you better, now.”

This was followed by a stretch of silence, interrupted only by my occasional relaying of directions. But Lexi had hijacked the conversation, and I still hadn’t said what I had meant to say.

I took a breath.

“My point with Isobel was that we got lucky. We will probably have to deal with other vampires in the future, and they won’t all be as easy to deal with as she was.”

Lexi threw me a brief look before her eyes turned back onto the road.

“If I didn’t know better, this would be where I begin to wonder whether you’re trying to get rid of me.”

“But you do know better,” I responded. I knew that this wasn’t a real concern – I hadn’t exactly made a secret out of how much I liked having Lexi around. “I don’t want to lie to you. I think what happened today makes it seem less dangerous than it really is.”

“Point taken,” said Lexi.

“So...” I probed, not quite knowing how to phrase my question.

“Elena,” said Lexi, her voice friendly but also firm, “do you think you have some sort of limited amount of goodwill from me left, and once I feel like we’re even, I’m gonna leave you guys to yourself and fuck off?”

“Um...” That was more observant than I had expected, and I had to think about it before responding. “Turn right, here. We’re almost there. ... um... well, I’m not sure if I _thought_ that, but I think I was considering it. Or... something like that.”

“You need to have a little more faith in my principles,” said Lexi. “You’re not the only one who’s allowed to care about people. I’m well aware that we might have just saved someone from ending up as Isobel’s dinner, even if I wouldn’t have gone after her myself. That means something to me.”

“Point taken,” I echoed.

“Besides,” said Lexi, “even if I were just doing this to pay you back – and I’m not – it would take _a lot_ more to break even. I’m not sure if you really understand how big of a deal this is.” She took her left hand off the steering wheel and waved it around, showcasing her daylight ring.

“I can... well,” I corrected myself, “I don’t know if I can really imagine it. But I was aware that it’s something many vampires would kill for.”

“Did you do it because you expected Sheila to make you one?”

“No,” I said honestly. I did, in fact, expect Sheila to do just that, but the truth was that my thoughts hadn’t gone there until after Lexi had already touched the ring. I knew I would have done the same thing even if Sheila didn’t exist.

“It’s here,” I said, pointing at the house. Lexi murmured something affirmative and parked the car.

“It’s not just that I’ve helped Stefan, is it?” she asked quietly after turning off the engine.

“No.”

“It’s because you really care. About all the people he killed – and all the people he didn’t kill because I helped him.”

“Yes.”

“I really don’t know if I deserve that, Elena.” Her voice sounded almost apologetic, and I noticed that she was staring down when she said this, which was rare for her. “I’ve never looked for vampires to help. I’ve just met Stefan at random, and he invited me to stay with him. I saw that he was in a bad place, so I helped. It was a total accident.”

“I already figured that was probably how it happened,” I said honestly. “That didn’t make me love you any less.”

Lexi smiled, then she loosened her seat belt and hugged me.

“I love you, too,” she whispered over my shoulder. “And you’re not getting rid of me, so stop trying.”

That made my heart sing. And it made me laugh.

“ _Thank you,”_ said Lexi when she drew back enough to look at me.

There were still things, true things, to be said about why she didn’t owe me anything. But, at the same time, I didn’t want to downplay the gesture, so I nodded.

“You’re welcome,” I whispered.


	19. Anarchy, #4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have it on good authority that "The Notebook" is Caroline's favorite movie.

There were people who had the ability to make social situations feel easier for everyone involved. Bonnie had been one of them. When the three of us had done things together, it had always felt safe and familiar. Now that she was gone, something was missing. Ever since Caroline’s breakdown at the boarding house, I had made sure to reserve a significant amount of time to hang out with her – we had a movie night planned just for tomorrow – but it was never quite the same, and I knew we both felt it. Everything took just a little more effort, came just a little less naturally. Bonnie’s charisma, her aura, whatever it was – its absence never went unnoticed.

Lexi had a similar but even stronger effect on those around her. Upon inviting her in, I figured we should first check in with Jenna to get her up to speed with the events of the day. But when we got to her room, rather than telling her about Isobel, Lexi asked what she was working on, Jenna said something about an assignment, and they began casually discussing her study program. It was as if Lexi were an old friend of Jenna’s, not an ancient and powerful vampire she had only met once before.

Five minutes later, they were still on the methodology of a study Jenna had to summarize for her assignment. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and made for Jeremy’s room.

“What is it?” he asked as I knocked. I came in, finding him lying in bed with his wireless headset on, presumably listening to music.

“Oh, it’s you.” He sounded relieved. “What’s up?”

“Lexi’s here.”

“Really? Cool.” He put his headset aside, looking as if he was about to stand up.

“Don’t bother.” I sat down beside him. “She’s busy talking psychology with Jenna. You know, college stuff. Don’t worry,” I added, “she’ll be here for a while.”

“Oh. Sure.”

“How are you?” I asked. I hadn’t talked to Jeremy in a while – I had certainly spent less time with him since meeting Stefan.

“Fine, I guess.”

I looked at him, raising an eyebrow. Despite his answer, I could tell he had something on his mind.

“Yes?” I asked eventually.

“I’ve been thinking.” He got up into a sitting position. “About turning. I know I’ve told you that I didn’t want to, but... I didn’t really know what it meant yet, you know?”

“And does this happen to have anything to do with...” I made a nod toward the door.

“Well, yeah.”

“Jer, that’s like looking at the happiest...” I stopped. “... well,” I said awkwardly, “I can’t think of a good analogy right now, but the point is, looking at Lexi doesn’t give you a representative picture of what being a vampire is like.”

“Because she’s so good at being one?”

I nodded. “Most vampires do not do as well as her. They’re depressed, can’t control themselves – all of the negative emotions are heightened – that’s why so many switch off their humanity.”

“How do you know that?” Jeremy interrupted. “Don’t you just know her and Stefan?”

“I’ve been obsessed with finding out what most vampires are like,” I revealed, which was not an exaggeration. “I’ve annoyed Stefan endlessly over this. I’ve even made him talk to some of the other vampires he knows.”

“And?”

“And, well – it’s difficult to say anything with certainty, there is no study – if there were, that’s one I would like to read, instead of all this boring stuff Jenna has to deal with...” My voice trailed off. “Um, but still – based on what I have heard, things aren’t pretty. Like, at all. It seems that many vampires, if not most, die within a year after being turned.”

“What?” asked Jeremy, sounding shocked. “For real? How?”

“Different ways. I think a common one is, they break into a house at night, drink from the people there, and then pass out in the middle of the room. Blood is like a super drug. Lexi told me it’s better than having sex – like, way better. And if you drink too much at once, I’ve heard it can have all sorts of effects, like-”

“And that kills them?”

“No. I wasn’t done – blood alone can’t kill you, as far as I know – but if you drink too much at once, it can make you high, like pot does to humans, or make you pass out. And if they pass out in the middle of a room – and they stay there until sunrise, when light comes in through the window...”

“You mean they burn to death?”

“Yup,” I said grimly. “Young vampires are extremely vulnerable to fire. Like, their bodies just burn way better than ours do. It’s a magic thing. If you’re older – older in vampire years, I mean – I think the pain will wake you up first, and you’ll probably be fine. But for a newbie, all it takes is falling asleep near an opened window once – just once – and that’s it for your eternal life. Or, you know, since this is America...” I gave a dry chuckle. “... if they let some of their victims live and then pass out, the victim can just take a gun and shoot their head off. You don’t need wooden bullets. A single shot from a regular gun can kill a vampire if it points directly at the head. This isn’t Twilight – their skin isn’t hard as steel.”

“Okay,” said Jeremy, “but-”

“I still wasn’t done,” I interrupted him. I hadn’t planned to have this conversation, but now that I was, I wasn’t going to be shy about describing all the reasons why premature transition was a bad idea. “Another killer is witches. They all know about vampires, they usually don’t like them, and if they decide to stop them, it’s usually not much of a fight – again, young vampires burn really easily. And then there are vampire hunters. Humans who have made it their task to kill vampires. They’re weaker, of course, but they usually have the element of surprise, and one hit is all it takes. _And,_ ” I said emphatically, “above everything else, _almost all vampires are fucking murderers, Jer_. Especially newborns. The blood is just so good, and they’re so powerful, they can do anything. And then there’s compulsion. And – just imagine you’re a new vampire, and you kill someone, right? What are your options? Well, you can either admit to yourself that you’ve done something horrible, or you can come up with some BS reason for why it’s okay. And if you do that, who’s stopping you from doing it again?”

“So, did-” Jeremy began, but I cut him off yet again – this time because I had a hunch of what he was about to ask, and I wanted to avoid the question.

“Besides, just think of what it means to burn in the sun. Even if you’re always careful and nothing happens. You can never be outside when the sun is up, ever.”

“You said Sheila will make you a ring.”

“I said I _believe_ Sheila will make me a ring,” I corrected him, “and I didn’t say anything about you.”

“But,” said Jeremy, “even after hearing all of that, _you_ still want to turn.”

“Yeah,” I said, “I think we can beat the odds if we do it right. Most people are idiots. And,” I added, “I wasn’t telling you not to turn. I think it’s crazy to grow old and die if you can avoid it. I was only saying, don’t look at Lexi and think that’s what your experience will be like. Stefan told me that he’s never met another vampire who’s done as well as she has.”

“Right.”

“And the only other example you have is Stefan himself, who’s done miserably.”

“Right...”

“And,” I added, “I don’t think I’m going to turn anytime soon. I’ve read somewhere that twenty-five is the ideal physical age for humans. No idea if that’s true, but it’s certainly not seventeen. And certainly not fifteen.”

“Well,” said Jeremy, “doesn’t really matter, right? Even if I turn ten years from now, it still means I don’t have to be afraid of dying.”

“ _Exactly!”_ I said enthusiastically. “Wait until you’re ready, and you can have the best of both worlds.”

I could tell that I had convinced him. Despite all of Jenna’s complaints about him being your typical rebellious teenager, I had always found that he listened to me most of the time. (Of course, I was aware how unfair this comparison was, given that, unlike Jenna, I had never had to tell him to stop doing drugs and such.)

“Did he ever bite you?” asked Jeremy.

That question caught me off guard.

“Like – Stefan?”

“Yeah.”

I shook my head.

“But he used to do all this awful stuff. You’ve said it yourself.”

“Um...” I made. “I... think it’s an all or nothing thing with him. He has his crazy ripper mode, where he’s a murderous psychopath, and his human mode, where he’s the gentlest, kindest, most considerate person in the world.”

“And aren’t you afraid he’ll go back someday?”

“I’m terrified,” I whispered. “I still have nightmares about it, where I dream that he kills me, and then you and Jenna, too. But I love him so much...”

Jeremy put an arm around my shoulder, and I tried to calm myself back down. My eyes were still dry, but I knew it wouldn’t have taken much more to push me over the edge. Not if it was about Stefan’s past.

The door opened, and Jenna stepped inside.

“Oh,” she made as she saw us.

Jeremy pulled back his arm at once, as if he had been caught doing something shameful.

“Ever heard of knocking?” he asked.

“Sorry,” said Jenna. “I, uhm, just wanted to ask you to come down.”

Meanwhile, Lexi had appeared beside her. I wasn’t sure if Jeremy had realized it, but I had been well aware that she would have heard every word of our conversation. I caught her gaze, and she gave me the hint of a smile.

“Why?” asked Jeremy.

“We’re, uhm...” Jenna cleared her throat. “We’re making dinner. I was hungry, and Lexi-”

“Didn’t you want to order Italian?” Jeremy cut her off.

“Yes, I wanted to, but-”

“Don’t you drink blood?” Jeremy asked Lexi. “And Jenna totally can’t cook, anyway. Did she tell you that she can?”

Jenna didn’t look pleased, but to me, the comment (on top of being true) felt like adequate payback for her entering the room uninvited.

“No,” said Lexi, sounding amused, “but I can cook. Jenna thought you might want to help.”

“Oh,” made Jeremy. “Err, sure.” He didn’t need to ask about vampires being interested in human food – Stefan had eaten with us before.

“Wash your hands first,” instructed Jenna, and I giggled. Jeremy murmured something unintelligible, then he stepped outside the room. Jenna followed.

“Nice speech,” said Lexi as we went down after them, so quietly that no-one else would hear it. “It’s good that you’re not encouraging him. Turning at fifteen is a shit idea.”

“Turning at seventeen can’t be much better,” I responded – even though I wasn’t planning to do that, either – but Lexi shook her head.

“It’s better, believe me.”

“Um, by the way,” I said at normal volume as we entered the kitchen, “I’m a vegetarian. Is that-”

“No problem,” said Lexi. “I can do without meat.”

“What are you making?” asked Jeremy. “Do you have a recipe?”

“Recipes are for newbies. Do you have vegetables?”

“In there,” said Jenna, pointing at the drawer, “and in the fridge.”

“That’ll work,” said Lexi upon inspecting the supply. “You can start by chopping onions.” She tossed one at Jeremy. “Do you have rice or pasta?”

“Both,” I said. No-one in our remaining family was a good cook, but I was the only one who, if nothing else, could say with a straight face that she was able to use the kitchen for more complicated things than making coffee. “Which do you want?”

“Rice,” said Lexi, who was busy opening various other drawers. “Which day do we have?”

“Err, Monday,” I said.

“Can I send one of you to buy stuff?” asked Lexi. “I can also work with what you have, but it won’t be as good.”

“Sure,” said Jenna. “I can be back in twenty minutes. What do you need?”

* * *

The resulting meal fell short of being the best thing I had ever tasted, but it was still shockingly delicious given that it only consisted of rice, vegetables, various spices, and coconut milk – ingredients that would have never had the decency to fit this well together if I had prepared them. But the more extraordinary part was just how carefree I felt. In a sad way, it reminded me of how much I missed my parents. I hadn’t felt like this since before the accident. I also hadn’t eaten this well since my dad had died, at least not at home.

At some point, Lexi asked Jeremy something about how he was doing, and in his answer, he mentioned that he had just broken up with his girlfriend. One look at Jenna was all I needed to confirm that this was a piece of information neither she nor I had previously been privy to. When Lexi asked why, Jeremy said something about how Vicki was beautiful and exciting but also ‘too hardcore’ and that she spent her time ‘hanging out with losers’.

There was no doubt in my mind that Lexi must have already had this gift as a human – just like Bonnie – and that it had magnified when she had turned. The only comparable thing I had ever seen was Stefan’s ability to know what I was feeling. It, too, was so perfect as to feel uncanny at times.

Aside from finally getting around to telling everyone about Isobel, Lexi also mentioned that she was planning to go to New York this evening. (When Jenna asked her how, she just smiled and said she was a good runner.) She would then return with her boyfriend, Lee, probably as early as tomorrow morning.

By the time we were done eating, I had already accepted that I wasn’t going to get any more time alone with Lexi until tomorrow. However, that changed when she unexpectedly said something about wanting to talk to me in private. Just a few minutes later, Jenna and Jeremy had left (noticeably, Jeremy had done so without helping to clean up, and Jenna only after doing more than half of the work), and Lexi and I sat down onto the couch. She had even managed to do it in a way that didn’t seem to have alienated anyone.

“When do you want to leave?” I asked. I pulled out my phone – it was only five-thirty, which seemed insane, given how much had happened today.

“Soon,” said Lexi. “I’d like to be there when Lee wakes up.”

“Right...”

He, of course, did not have a daylight ring. _Well_ , I thought, _meeting the only person to ever make Lexi fall in love for real will certainly be interesting_. But while she was still here...

“I was wondering...” I began.

“I was about to ask you something,” said Lexi, “but you go first. What were you wondering?”

“Well,” I said, finding it somewhat more awkward than I had anticipated, “um... well, you’re very old...”

“Very.”

I giggled. “Yeah. So, how are things not getting boring? I’ve asked Stefan the same thing before, but he hasn’t really... well, participated in society, I guess, as much as you have – plus, he-”

“-kept trying new things,” said Lexi. “He plays five instruments, is super literate, plays a bunch of different sports, and he tells me he can paint now, too. Not sure if I believe him.”

“Yes,” I said, “exactly.”

“And I don’t.”

I hadn’t quite known to what extent this was true, but since Lexi had said it herself...

“Yeah.”

Lexi shrugged. “They just aren’t. Some vampires have more of a problem with boredom, but I don’t. Today was fun – both catching Isobel and hanging out with your family. Can’t tell you much more than that.”

“That’s good news,” I murmured. It would be a while before I ran into this problem, but even so, it was something I was already worried about.

“Okay,” I probed, “but what about people? I have an easier time believing that you can spend some time with normal people and have fun, but to _be_ with someone – doesn’t that take... I don’t know...”

I realized that I was having more difficulty getting my intuition across than I had anticipated.

“So,” I tried again, “I feel like even I couldn’t be with many people my age because they would bore me. And if you’re three hundred and fifty... I know it’s a cliché for a vampire to fall in love with a human, but... I just don’t think I would have expected it to happen that much in the real world.”

“That’s a strange statement coming from you,” Lexi pointed out.

“Yes,” I said, “I’m aware.”

“You’re kind of right,” said Lexi. “Most people do become boring. To me, anyway. It’s sad, but it’s true.”

“But not Lee?”

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

“He’s honest,” said Lexi.

“‘Honest?’” I echoed. I didn’t know what answer I had expected, but this certainly wasn’t it.

“Yes,” said Lexi, “honest.”

“... aren’t I honest, too?”

“I’m not into girls,” said Lexi, and I burst out laughing. I couldn’t have said why – it wasn’t on purpose – but there was something about the way she had said it. I saw with some relief that Lexi didn’t look offended.

“Enough with the questions,” she said. “Now it’s my turn.”

“Ah.” I had to clear my throat. “Shoot.”

“Why haven’t you and Stefan had sex yet?”

I froze. I could feel the remainder of my laugh die on my lips.

I didn’t have to ask how she knew – when we had driven up to Isobel, I had, without thinking, mentioned that I was a virgin. It was just that... asking me about it seemed like it was breaking a rule... like it wasn’t allowed.

“Um...”

Lexi grinned. “Unless that’s too private.”

I shook my head. “It’s fine. You can ask me anything. But, um...”

“You’ve been together for, like, two months?”

“Yeah. A bit less.”

“And you’re obviously in love,” Lexi observed.

“We are.”

“And you’re not religious or anything like that.”

“God, no.”

Lexi laughed at the unintentionally ironic answer. “And don’t you guys sleep in the same room, anyway?”

“We do. We _sleep_ together all the time, even though we haven’t slept together yet.”

“Have you done anything other than kissing?”

“Nope.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know,” I said honestly. “Should I-”

“No,” said Lexi at once. “You _should_ not do anything – ever. Look – the biggest problem people have – certainly in relationships, maybe elsewhere, too – is feeling bound by expectations.”

I nodded. If someone three hundred years old was willing to share insights about what made people unhappy, I was going to take it _very_ seriously.

“If you haven’t done anything because you don’t want to,” she continued, “then that’s fine. It doesn’t matter why you don’t want to. But if you do want to...” She left the sentence unfinished. “And people do this all the time. You wouldn’t believe how many people – smart people – spend years not doing what they want without even realizing it. So. What do you want?”

“I don’t know,” I said honestly.

“Have you thought about it?” asked Lexi.

“Barely. Actually,” I corrected myself, “not at all. Um... like, I’ve thought about what I want in general, just not... you know, not when it comes to romance.”

“Then do that,” Lexi advised. “Did you talk about it with Stefan?”

“No. Should I?” I asked, only realizing what phrase I had used after the question was out.

“If you want to,” said Lexi. “And only if you want to. Just be aware that he’s an incredibly good guy, and that he’ll watch the sun burn down before pushing you into something you’re not ready for. So, if you’re just waiting for him – well, don’t. Trust me on this. I know him.”

“Does it hurt?”

Once again, the question had come over my lips before I could take it back. For a moment, I was worried I had asked something silly or inappropriate, but Lexi gave me a perfectly grounded answer, and her voice didn’t show any signs of disapproval.

“If you only do things you want to do and are ready for, then probably not. But there’s no guarantee. If it does, stop doing it, at least for that time.”

I nodded. “Thank you,” I said earnestly.

“I won’t be at the house tonight,” Lexi reminded me. She gave me a suggestive smile but became serious again momentarily. “You probably didn’t think about this when you asked me to stay for longer, but it’s actually a real problem unique to vampires. Anyone in the same house can hear you, always, no matter how quiet you think you’re being. Maybe this isn’t true for Stefan, I’m not sure, but it’s true for anyone on human blood. There are some who don’t care, but I’m not one of them, and I know you’re not, either. There’s no easy solution – you just have to find ways to be alone sometimes.”

I nodded again. For the first time since I had met her, I felt humbled talking to Lexi – usually, it was easy to forget how old she was.

“And by the way,” said Lexi, “there was never anything between us – ever.”

“It wouldn’t have bothered me,” I said, which was the truth. “Not with you.”

“That’s nice of you to say.” Lexi gave me a warm smile. “But even so – there was nothing.”

* * *

After school on the following day, Stefan drove me back to his place. Lexi and Lee had arrived in the meantime, but had gone straight to sleep – presumably, Lexi had stayed up all night.

When we arrived, we spent a few minutes strategizing, then I went down to interrogate our prisoner for the second time.

* * *

Isobel was sitting on the floor when I raised the hatch, her arms around her knees. She was looking at me but didn’t bother standing up.

“Is there any reason you’re still in Mystic Falls?” I asked, repeating the question we had left on yesterday.

“I want blood,” said Isobel. “And something to sleep on, and something to kill time with. Then, I’ll tell you.”

“I might bring you things – if you cooperate. Answer my question. And don’t lie – if you do, it will make it _much_ less likely for you to get anything.”

“Are you really gonna keep obsessing over this? Don’t you want to know who your father is?”

“Answer my question,” I repeated, not showing any signs of emotion. I did want to know who my father was, but I was not going to let Isobel dictate the conversation. We would either do it my way or not do it at all. And if the next thing she said wasn’t an answer, this would end.

“Screw you,” said Isobel.

I grabbed the hatch. “I’ll come back tomorrow,” I said, then shut it without giving her the chance to say another thing.

* * *

“That was cold,” said Stefan as I returned to the living room.

“I know,” I murmured. “But all she has to do is play nice, and I’ll cooperate with her. I still think we’ll have to kill her, but until then, I wouldn’t mind making her time more pleasant.”

“She didn’t want to tell you why she’s here,” he observed. “She tried to get you to ask something else.”

“Yeah. I don’t know what to make of it, though. Do you?”

Stefan shook his head.

“We’ll get it out of her,” I said confidently. “She went from hyper arrogant to only a little arrogant in one day. Being locked up does have an effect on her. And since all she has to offer is information, she’ll give it to us sooner or later.”

“That’s very cold...”

He stepped up behind me, pulling his arms around my waist. I felt a pleasant shiver run down my spine. Even though we had been together for a while now, stuff like this still had an effect on me.

“What are your plans for today?” he whispered into my ear.

“... I promised Caroline we’d go to the theater. She’s already reserved seats, I think. And afterward, we’ll watch some more at my place.”

Stefan already knew why he wasn’t invited – I would hardly be ‘devoting time to our friendship’ if I brought my boyfriend along.

“What movie is it?” he asked in between caressing my neck.

“Inglorious Bastards.”

Stefan laughed – a rare sound.

“It’s supposed to be really good,” I said. “We’re both excited about it. Oh, and Caroline wanted us to skip school tomorrow. The plan was to have a sleepover.”

“Mhh,” he made. “When do you go?”

“It’s at five...”

“Tell me if you do decide to skip classes. If you do, I think I can afford to stay home, too.”

* * *

Our two guests woke up about an hour before I had planned to leave, and I got to meet Lee for the first time.

‘Honest’ was certainly an accurate way to describe him. ‘Blunt’ would have been another. I had never met someone who was so direct, where it was so obvious that there was no filter between what he felt and what he said. And, despite Lexi’s diplomatic response on the previous day, I quickly realized that I was nothing like him. In a narrow sense, it was accurate to say that I was honest – I seldom uttered a falsehood on purpose. But that was because I made a conscious effort to be that way. It wasn’t uncommon for me to say something, then realize it wasn’t quite true, and correct myself. With Lee, it was effortless. He’d probably never had to correct himself in his life, given that this would require saying something untrue to begin with.

It was interesting, to say the least, that he was the person Lexi had fallen in love with. I had expected someone more like her, someone outgoing, with charisma, perhaps someone who shared her ability to make people around her feel at ease. Lee was none of those things. Perhaps there was something to the saying that opposites attract, a phrase I had never bought into before.

The first thing Lee said to me was about the ring I had given to Lexi – a scary prospect in retrospect, given that, if he had resented me for it, there was no question he would have told me as much. Instead, he expressed nothing but gratitude. The fact that the ring ostensibly put an obstacle between him and Lexi didn’t seem to matter to him, not as long as it made Lexi happy. It was humbling, truly, given that I knew I wouldn’t have felt that way in his position. Perhaps he simply loved Lexi more than I loved Stefan.

When I left for the theater, I didn’t yet know how he felt about humans, but it would probably be easy to find out – and if his commitment not to kill anyone was as strong as I hoped, I would ask Sheila to make him a ring. No matter how little regard he showed for his own happiness, knowing that I had made it harder for him to be with the person he loved so much didn’t sit well with me. And, if nothing else, I knew it would make Lexi happy, too.

* * *

After the film, which I had loved, Caroline and I went to my place, to binge not one but two additional movies. By the time we were done, it was past midnight. We went up to my room and got into bed (me in the real one and Caroline into an improvised one on the floor), but didn’t turn off the light. If we were going to skip school, we might as well stay up longer.

* * *

“He’s only ever loved one person. Even when she got old – even when she lost her memory.” Caroline sighed. “And he wrote to her every day for an entire year. It’s so romantic! I wish someone would love me like that.”

“Stefan would probably do that for me.”

“I know! And I’m so jealous!”

“If he pursued you the way Noah did, though,” I asked, “do you think it would work?”

“The point is that he’s _persistent_ , Elena. Even after she rejects him, he comes back again because he loves her so much.”

“I get that. But still-”

“No-one’s ever tried,” said Caroline, a sad tone to her voice. “Why – didn’t you think he was charming?”

“I found them charming when they were together. Him, not so much. And if someone actually pulled what he pulled in the first scene on me-”

“What about Allie? Did you like her more?”

“Yeah, Allie was cute.”

Caroline giggled. “Was she your type?” she asked teasingly.

“I don’t think I really know what my type is – but she made me feel something, so I guess.”

“Aww,” Caroline cooed.

“The movie’s so manipulative, though. I mean, her mom is just so comically evil...”

That made Caroline laugh.

“–she really was. Especially after we learn in the end that she understood after all. When she took her to the construction site.”

“That scene was unbelievable,” I said drily. “The way she was looking at her mother afterward really cracked me up.”

“You weren’t laughing, though.”

“I didn’t want to ruin it for you. I hate it when people do that to me.”

“That was nice of you,” Caroline said softly. “I loved that scene. Her mom was finally being honest with her. And we know she had the same choice when-”

Caroline stopped mid-sentence. The alarm had gone off in the room below.

“What the fuck?” she asked.

I could hear the sound of the front door opening. In an instant, I was wide awake.

“Stay down.” I pushed back my blanket. Within seconds, I was out of bed and in front of my safe. With shaking fingers, I began to type in the combination.

“What’s going on, Elena?”

“ _Shh!”_

I typed a digit wrong. My hand wasn’t steady enough. I pressed the correction button.

There was a scream. It was Jenna. She must have been downstairs rather than in her room.

“ _Oh my god!”_ Caroline shrieked.

“ _Quiet,”_ I hissed. I couldn’t identify what was happening next, but someone was assaulting Jenna by force; that much was clear.

I typed in the final number. To my relief, the safe opened immediately.

There were four items inside: a gun, two small hip flasks, and the Gilbert compass. I didn’t bother with the compass; it was too late for it to be helpful. Instead, I took out both of the flasks. Not by accident, the jeans I was wearing had an additional pocket at the side of each leg. I stashed both of them there, one in each. Then, I took the gun.

I walked backward until I hit the wall, taking off the safety along the way. Once there, I looked down at Caroline and put a finger onto my lips. She looked utterly horrified, but she nodded.

If it was a single person and a human, perhaps I should have come out to help Jenna instead. But even then, I didn’t like my chances. I had only used this thing a few times before, and my hands were shaking.

Something was happening in the room below. Someone was talking. But it was too quiet for me to understand the words.

Then, the unmistakable sound of steps coming up the stairs.

I put my finger around the trigger. All I had to do was pull it – that was it. Even I would hit the door from here.

And the worst part was that it had almost worked. Almost. But when the door opened, I didn’t shoot immediately. I was too afraid of hitting Jenna. Instead, I waited to see who it was, and when I did, I wasted another precious second staring at my own face before I pulled the trigger.

I got off one shot. That was it. I didn’t know how it had happened, how hitting her hadn’t propelled her backward. Perhaps I had fired in the same moment she had reached me. All I knew was that, when it was over, my mirror self groaned in pain, Caroline was screaming, and the gun was no longer in my hands.

Instinctively, I fell onto my knees to pick it up. I never got to it. Katherine hit me with the back of her hand, making my head jerk around and hit the edge of my bed. Then, everything was blazing agony.

“ _Fucking bitch,_ ” I heard Katherine hiss, although I couldn’t see her. Her voice, too, was exactly like mine. There was another scream from Caroline, then there was a loud _crack_.

Then silence.

 _Please leave her here,_ I thought, _please please please leave her._ Caroline was on vampire blood; we had both taken a few drops when we had gotten home from the theater. If only Katherine didn’t know, if only she left her there, she would be fine; she would turn, but Caroline had wanted to turn anyway; it would be fine it would all be fine; _leave her here leave her leave her, please-_

 _“ **Fuck!** ”_ Katherine spat. I heard an extended groan from her, then a clattering noise. I didn’t know what it meant, I couldn’t think...

There was something in my throat. I spat it out.

“You’re a fucking piece of work.” I received another slap into the face, this one lighter. “You’re still there? Hello? Earth to Elena?”

I coughed, then blinked. Again, l saw my own face. This time, it was blurry.

“This did not have to be like that, you know? I was going to be _much_ nicer to all of you, spend some quality time with Stefan, and Blondie here didn’t need to die, either. Well... at least not yet. But with you around, how long would it have taken for me to end up with a stake in my heart, huh?”

I could feel something hitting my stomach, hard.

“That was for killing Damon, _bitch,_ ” I heard her say, then I blacked out.

* * *

When I awoke, it was with the worst headache I had ever had. After a few moments, I realized that there was a sound. An engine. I was in a car. Probably in the trunk.

The next thing I realized was that I wasn’t tied up. A vampire had nothing to fear from me regardless, I supposed.

I opened my eyes. It was dark. I wanted to lift my head, but a powerful wave of nausea took over, and I vomited onto the floor. When it was done, I felt my awareness receding while dizziness crept into my head.

I slipped back into darkness.


	20. Anarchy, #5

When I woke up again, I was lying on the floor of a dimly lit room. I still felt sick, but my mind seemed to work with relative clarity.

A vampire, most likely Katherine, had broken into my house, had abducted me, and had probably killed Caroline. This meant that one of three things was true: A, Katherine had escaped from the tomb, B, Katherine had never been in the tomb, or C, there was a third vampire who also looked exactly like us.

But I pushed the thought away. For now, it didn’t matter which of the three it was. All that mattered was how I could escape.

I stood up, carefully monitoring the nauseating feeling in my stomach. I was neither tied up nor gagged. I looked around. The room looked like an ordinary cellar, albeit an unnaturally empty one. There was a light hanging from the ceiling, and a door at the opposite end of the room. Other than that, there was nothing: no windows, no furniture, no items of any kind.

I made a few steps toward the door but had to pause halfway through and lie down to make sure I wasn’t going to throw up again. When I felt capable, I walked over and pushed down the handle. As expected, it didn’t budge. Next, even though I had already felt them, I reached down to confirm that both flasks were still where I had put them.

I had been lucky. I had been very lucky. I only now realized just how many things could have gone wrong. I could have been killed already, or Katherine could have left someone to watch me... there had been no guarantee that I would ever have any time by myself, let alone without being tied up. But here I was...

Here I was, free to follow through with the plan. And yet...

... I didn’t want to do it. It was pathetic, but I knew it was true. I didn’t want to do it, and that was why the discovery that I _could_ do it had been accompanied by a rush of fear, not by relief. I had wanted to find an excuse, an excuse to discard the plan and to sit and cower and wait to be rescued. Already, I could observe my mind making up reasons for why it was okay to wait... Sheila would have cast a tracking spell, and they would use it to find me, and they would save me...

But the part of me that could think was the one in charge, and it wouldn’t let fear dictate my actions. Katherine wasn’t Isobel. She had made everyone believe she was locked up, and when she had struck, it had been hard, fast, and unexpected. This was not an opponent I could take lightly. For all I knew, both Stefan and Lexi might have already been taken out of the picture, stuffed full of vervain and locked up somewhere. Or they might be dead.

The plan was my best shot to win against Katherine, and I was going to do it.  
  
I was going to do it _now._

With shaking hands, I retrieved the flask from my left pocket. It probably hadn’t been twelve hours since my last dose of vampire blood, but I had thrown up since, so who knew if any of it was still in my system.

I held the flask to my lips and drank the entire thing. The copper taste it left behind was as disgusting as ever.

I retrieved the right flask next, putting it onto the ground beside me. Then, shaking so much that I could hear my own teeth clattering, I opened my pants and pulled them down to my knees. Using my left hand, I pulled the fabric of my underwear up on the left leg. And then...

... then, I buried the nails of my thumb and index finger into the patch of fake skin and ripped it out in a single motion.

I couldn’t suppress a whimper – removing it _hurt_. But that had been expected. I vividly remembered what I had told Stefan when we had discussed how to do this: ‘only an utter idiot would trade better security for less pain or awkwardness’.

I pulled my jeans back up and scanned the ground for the item that had been hidden below the contraption. I knew it was there; I had heard it hit the ground; but the light was so dim that it took me a while to find it. When I did, I held it under my eyes, turning it around to find the tiny plastic strip. I grabbed it between two fingernails and pulled, pulled until it had come off far enough to use my fingers. A few seconds later, the entire plastic film around the pill had come off.

And now, I knew there was no turning back.

Upon discovering how little vervain was needed to provide protection, it hadn’t taken me long to realize that I could do better than putting it into jewelry or ingesting it twice per day. And if I was going to keep an object tied to my body at all times, hidden at a place where no-one would find it, I might as well solve two problems at once. All it had taken were a few drops on the plastic film... and people had known how to turn vervain into liquid form since 1864.

But now, the contraption was gone, and the vervain was gone with it. If I backed out now, only my necklace, which Katherine could take off at will, would be left to protect me.

And I would never allow her to compel me. One way or another, no-one would compel me ever again.

 _Bite first, then swallow,_ I recited as I looked down onto the pill. _If you don’t, it will take longer, and it will hurt even more._

I held it between my teeth. I wasn’t ready. But I couldn’t lose time. Every second I waited made it more likely for Katherine to return before I woke up. I would not throw away my future because I was too afraid of feeling pain for thirty seconds.

Thirty seconds. That was all it would take. The doctor had promised us this much.

I closed my eyes.

Then, I bit down as hard as I could.


	21. Anarchy, #6

The pain had stopped. I was lying on the floor.

It had to have worked. It must have. It had been explained to us in no uncertain terms that the chance to survive a dose of this size was zero, and, according to Stefan, vampire blood had no chance of healing through something this destructive. But the way it had happened was irritating. The pain had simply vanished from one moment to the next. I must have been dead for a while, and yet, there was no sense that time had passed.

But perhaps that shouldn’t have been surprising. Death was different from sleep. If every function in my body had ceased, how could it know how much time had passed?

The only important thing was that Katherine hadn’t come back. I had been lucky one more time, and that was all I needed. From here on out, I would no longer have to leave things up to chance.

I looked around me. There was the second flask, the one I owed to Lexi. I grabbed it.

When I opened the lid, my doubts dissolved momentarily. A powerful shiver ran down my spine as I inhaled the scent of human blood, the most enticing smell I had ever witnessed. Without hesitating, I poured its insides into my mouth, and my throat burst into flames. This was the greatest feeling there was. Nothing compared to it. Endless, vast, powerful waves of pleasure rippled throughout my body. Every nerve in me was screaming, and then-

I howled in desperation when it was suddenly over. I wanted it. I needed it. _I needed more,_ ** _more,_** **_MORE._**

I was standing there, the flask still in my hand, and could only think that one thought. I needed more. I needed it now.

Then, I noticed the sounds. Traffic. I heard the sound of traffic from out of the cellar... and the sound of running water, infinitely quiet, but still there.

That bit of sensory data distracted me long enough to allow a tiny trace of sanity to make it past the rage and disappointment.

There was something I needed to do. Something else that mattered. What was it?

...

I turned around and ran to the door. Only once I was there did I realize that I could have run much, much faster if I had wanted to. I grabbed the handle...

... and then turned around, realizing that I was about to make a mistake. Hiding the way I had escaped was worth spending a few more seconds in this place, so I went back. Locating the items on the ground was much easier now than it had been before. I grabbed both flasks, and I had the good mind to touch it only through the fabric of my shirt when I picked up the vervain-covered plastic film. I pocketed everything, then returned to the door. I pressed down the handle and pushed.

There was a loud crack, and I was through. I ran up the stairs, still at human speed; I didn’t know whether I could control it, and it was better to give up just a few more seconds than to crash into a wall. It appeared as if this was just a regular house, but I didn’t investigate. Instead, I made straight for the entrance.

The front door was locked, and it turned out to be tougher to break than the cellar door. It wasn’t tough enough. When it cracked, I first opened it a tiny bit to make sure I wasn’t about to burn to a crisp. Then, when I confirmed that it was still dark, I pushed it open and ran, ran toward the sound of running water. I soon confirmed that I could see well enough to know where I was going, then I ran faster.

Much faster.

I got to what turned out to be just a tiny stream. I jumped over it and kept running. A few more seconds, and I could see the outlines of trees taking form in the pale light. Even though I had proven capable of navigating at vampire speed, I could no longer avoid bruises as I made it past them and didn’t waste time searching for a path. Before long, a branch cut into my face hard enough for there to be blood as I broke through a particularly dense part of woodwork. I simply ignored it. I knew I had long run far enough to be impossible to find, but I didn’t care. All I wanted was to get as far away from the cellar as possible.

Only when it got too dark to see well, even for my new eyes, did I slow down.

I lifted a hand to touch my cheek, where I knew the branch had hit me. There was plenty of blood. I tried to clean it with a sleeve, and in doing so, confirmed that touching my skin didn’t hurt. The wound must have healed already.

In fact, nothing hurt anymore. I must have collected dozens of bruises and cuts along the way, some of them fairly serious, but I no longer felt any of it. It was as though I had just run a moderately long track under perfect conditions, instead of bulldozing recklessly through a forest in the middle of the night.

I sat down next to a tree.

_Situation: I am alone, I have no idea where, I’m a vampire, probably have nothing to fear except Katherine._

_Katherine will not find me unless she has access to a tracking spell. Don’t know if she has something that belongs to me, so I have to assume that she does._ _Still, I probably have a bit until she finds a witch to cast one. I shouldn’t waste time, but I don’t need to rush it, either._

_Powers: very fast, very strong, very powerful senses, should be able to compel humans._

_Goals: contact Stefan and Lexi, get home._

_Solve._

_..._

_Plan: find a driving car, compel driver to give me their phone and drive me home. Can send them money later to compensate._

Only once the plan had been finalized did I realize how fully immersed I had been in my thoughts. This was new – and it was quite welcome. When I had tried to think hard as a human, I had always been easily distracted. Frequently, my mind had drifted into unproductive places, and I had had to effortfully push those thoughts away. That’s why I had always liked to close my eyes.

I felt a wave of euphoria at the discovery. It was so nice to know that there were advantages beyond what I had expected.

But then, I hadn’t seen the bad parts yet. As soon as I thought this, I felt my heart cramp together in fear.

... and that mood swing, too, was new.

And now, I realized that I had forgotten something. Given how utterly incapable I had been to resist the smell of blood, would I even manage to let someone drive me home without killing them?

This was precisely the kind of risk I had intended to avoid. Unfortunately, the situation had changed, and I could no longer afford such luxury. I had to get home _quickly_. I didn’t yet know if anything else required immediate action. At the very least, Caroline would now be a vampire, and she had been in the same house as Jenna and Jeremy. I shuddered at the thought, but I knew it wasn’t impossible that Jenna would end up dead, especially not if she had suffered open wounds from the break-in. Jeremy was probably in less danger as him getting hurt would require Caroline breaking into his room.

I started running again, albeit at a slower pace. I had to find a road.

It appeared that my eyesight was the thing that had improved the least. There was a noticeable difference between now and then, but it didn’t compare to my new sense of hearing. Even while running, numerous sounds reached my ears, mostly the rustling of leaves, but also steps onto the ground, the occasional cry, perhaps from a bird, and the distant sound of an engine...

I stopped. I took a moment to locate the direction, then ran toward it, now faster again. For a while, it got a little louder, but it also changed directions. I tried to speed up my pace, and then-

I arrived at a proper, asphalted road that went straight through the forest. I briefly considered chasing after the car but decided against it. I wasn’t sure I could outrace it, and I _was_ starting to get exhausted. Instead, I began running into the opposite direction at a fairly relaxed pace – perhaps five times as fast as what I could have managed as a human. It took several minutes, but eventually, I heard the sound of another car.

I stopped in the middle of the track. I wasn’t afraid, at least not for my own safety – in the unlikely event that the driver wouldn’t see me in time, I knew I could dodge. No, I wasn’t the one who was in danger. The person in the car, on the other hand... but I wouldn’t let it happen. If the urge became too strong, I would run away.

The sound of the engine got louder and louder, and finally, I saw the floodlights. Not long after that, I heard the screeching of brakes.

I waited. After a while, the door opened, and a man stepped out. Experimentally, I took a breath, but I couldn’t smell him yet.

“Hey! _Hey!_ What are you doing?”

He wasn’t coming closer, so I began walking toward the car. Every other step, I took a breath, prepared to turn around at a moment’s notice. But even once I could smell his blood, it was manageable. Apparently, there was a _massive_ difference between smelling blood out in the open and behind a layer of skin.

_I hope Jenna wasn’t bleeding... as far as I’m concerned, just need to avoid people with open wounds..._

“Can I help you?” asked the man when I was close enough to see him clearly. He looked to be about fifty, with a rough face and short, black hair.

I took a few more steps, then put my arms onto his shoulders and looked into his eyes.

“Don’t look away,” I said quickly, “don’t run, don’t scream, don’t attack me, don’t panic. Got it?”

“Got it,” he murmured immediately. That was good – while I had expected it to work, I hadn’t been certain.

I took another breath. It was still manageable, albeit somewhat distracting. It was now comparable to having a delicious meal put in front of me as a human – tempting, but certainly not something I would murder for.

“You’re alone?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Go back into the car, but don’t drive yet.”

He did what I asked, but I realized I had forgotten something. I leaned into the car, and he willingly looked at me. I wondered why – if eye contact was needed, wouldn’t it be enough to just look away?

“Follow every order I give you, and don’t do anything that... um, just, anything you... strongly suspect won’t be in my interest. Got it?”

“Got it.”

I stepped back.

“Open the door on the other side, please.”

He did, and I stepped inside. I breathed a sigh of relief as I sat down and put my seat belt on. Sitting in a working car felt _much_ better than wandering through an unknown forest.

“Okay,” I murmured, “first things first – oh, I forgot – look at me, please – thanks – answer every question I ask you honestly. Got it?”

“Yes.”

“How long to the closest town?”

“Twenty minutes, maybe, I’m not sure.”

“Good. Start driving.”

He did this, too. I figured I would have to work on this more – I hadn’t thought about what things to do in what order. For example, if I had only told him not to run, could he have just decided to drive away once he was back in the car?

“How do you feel?” I asked.

“Not good. Afraid. Freaked out.”

“Oh. I’m sorry. Um, if you can safely take your eyes off the road for a few seconds, look at me again, please.”

It took a while, then he turned his head.

“Believe everything I tell you, please. Now, eyes back onto the road – thanks. Um... I have absolutely no intention of hurting you – I just need you to drive me someplace. After that, you can go back to your normal life. Okay – do you have a phone?”

“Yes.”

I held out my hand. “Give it. Is it locked?”

He opened a drawer and produced a normal-looking cell phone.

“No.”

“Good. Okay, please, just keep driving – don’t talk.”

I dialed Stefan’s number. It was an enormous relief when I heard his voice through the phone.

“Hello?”

“Stefan?”

“ _Elena!_ Where are you?”

“Don’t know – but I should be safe. Where are you?”

“At the boarding house, with Caroline, Jenna, Jeremy, and Lee.”

A felt yet another wave of relief wash over me.

“Caroline turned?”

“Yes. Jenna, too.”

“Fuck,” I murmured. _Three_ new vampires at the same time – two of them seventeen years old – this was as far removed from a safe and responsible way of turning as you could get.

“Did Caroline kill her?”

“What?” asked Stefan. “Why would – oh, I see. No, Katherine killed her before she came up to your room.”

“Thank god. And Jeremy is fine? Human?”

“He is. He was sleeping when Katherine broke in. But Sheila is dead.”

I gasped. For some reason, this was not something I had even considered. It took just a few seconds, then I felt tears rolling down my face.

_Brooke Fenton, Darren Malloy, Marine Brown, Robert Walsh, Bonnie Bennett, Sheila Bennett._

It had been a while since I had repeated this list, and longer still since I had added a new name.

But it made sense. Sheila was the most obvious target for Katherine. She had never listened to me when I had told her that she could be in danger. Instead, she had continued to live alone, in a normal house and without protection. It couldn’t have been difficult to get her killed, and Katherine had probably done it without coming within a one-mile radius of the witch herself. And without Sheila, we had no more access to tracking spells. No way left for my protectors to find me.

I heard Stefan call my name, and only then realized that he had spoken it before, a few seconds ago, without me registering it.

“It’s our fault,” I whispered.

“It’s not what you have to worry about right now. Elena, did you escape?”

“I did.”

There was a pause.

“Does that mean... did you...”

“Yes,” I whispered.

Another pause.

“Are you okay?”

“No,” I said, sobbing. “But I was before you mentioned Sheila. I will be. I think.”

“Where are you?”

“In a car. No... no idea where. Hang on.” I turned to the driver. “Where are we?” I asked. “Like, which state?”

“West Virginia.”

I sniffed. “Okay – how long to – I don’t know – Charlottesville?”

“Around four hours.”

“Did you hear it?” I said back into the phone.

“Yes. You have to find a place to stay, Elena.”

“Why would I – _oh_. _Fuck!_ What time is it?”

“Almost five.”

“ _Shit – oh god, no no no-”_

“Elena!”

I barely heard him. I didn’t even know how much time I had left, why hadn’t I thought about it, what if there wasn’t anywhere, what if I couldn’t get inside, what-

“ _Elena!”_ Stefan said sharply.

“Y-yes?”

“In the worst case, you can just stay in the trunk for a day. Okay? You’re not in lethal danger. At least not from the sun.”

“Trunk,” I echoed, “right.”

“You have at least half an hour until sunrise. See if you can get inside until then.”

“Try to get inside in half an hour, otherwise, stay in the trunk. Got it. I’m sorry, it’s all just so much – oh, but if Katherine knows a witch, staying in one place is bad...”

“I’ll ask Lexi to come to you.”

When he said this, I remembered that Lexi hadn’t been among the people he had named as being at the boarding house with him.

“Where is Lexi?”

“She’ll tell you. For now, just find out whether you can make it, and then text me the address, or call me again if you can’t. I love you.”

“Right,” I murmured. “I love you.”

I hung up.

“Is there any place we can get to – any place that has curtains – within... let’s make it twenty minutes?”

“Probably.”

“Is there a hotel?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Then, drive faster, please. Go as fast as what seems reasonable without serious risk of an accident. Disregard speeding limits.”

“Okay.”

I could feel the car accelerating.

“What’s your name?”

“Max Castillo.”

“Max. I’m sorry about all this. Just get me to a hotel, please.”

* * *

Twenty-five minutes later, I closed the door of room 214 behind us. I had compelled the receptionist and had told her to write down the name Emily Parker as the person who had booked the room and to make up any other information she needed. It would have probably been possible to get in with conventional means, but it seemed safer this way, especially given my appearance. (I had had a chance to look at my reflection during the drive, and it wasn’t good. There was blood, and my clothes were dirty and had teared up at several places.)

As soon as I found the room with the bed, I texted Stefan the address and instructed Max to sit down. Then, I went from window to window and started closing the blinds.

“Don’t open them,” I said, “nor do anything else that has a risk of exposing me to sunlight. In the case that any other commands I’ve given you contradict this, this one overrides everything.”

Even though I knew I was still in danger, now that the adrenaline was receding, I realized just how tired I really was. I hadn’t slept for almost twenty-four hours, and the day had been more than a little exhausting.

And it wasn’t like I could do much if I stayed awake... if Katherine got here before Lexi, I wouldn’t be able to do anything either way.

“I’m going to sleep,” I said to Max. “Please avoid talking to anyone unless you have to, don’t leave this room – the entire hotel room, I mean – don’t do anything you think I wouldn’t like, don’t wake me unless it’s an emergency, and don’t try to get your phone back...” I thought for a moment. “I guess you can go into the other rooms, if you want, but I would recommend that you sleep. Oh, and you can’t take anyone‘s calls... sorry, just leave your phone with me. And please, don’t worry too much – you’ll be fine...”

I shuffled back to the bed, stripped out of my clothes (the fact that it was now entirely dark was convenient), and crawled under the blanket.

“And don’t kill me,” I murmured. “Night.”

* * *

There was a ringing sound.

I sat up at once, breathing heavily. A second ringing sound, and the memories of what that had happened returned to me.

I turned my head as the phone rang for the fourth time. It wasn’t my ringing tone. Of course not – it wasn’t my phone.

I could see a light from the phone blinking in the darkness. I grabbed it and took the call.

“Yes?”

“Hey there.”

“Lexi!”

“I’m outside of your room. Didn’t wanna break in.”

Only now did I remember that my night could easily have taken a far less happy ending.

“Thank god. Hang on.”

I turned on the light on my nightstand, then got out of bed at once, only to remember that I probably shouldn’t go out wearing only two pieces of clothing. I turned around. My remaining clothes were lying in a heap beside the bed. They were in terrible condition, but they were better than nothing.

I got dressed as fast as I could. Once it was done, I threw a look at the other bed. Max was there, but he wasn’t asleep.

“Are there any windows in the entrance hall?” I asked.

“I don’t know.”

“Go and look,” I instructed, then waited while he did so.

“No,” he reported as he came back.

“Good. In that case, stay in this room.”

I went outside – as Max had promised, there were no windows – and made straight for the hotel room door. I felt my eyes widen when I opened it.

Outside was Lexi, smiling at me. And beside her stood the most beautiful person I had ever seen.

“Hi,” she said, offering me a hand. “I’m Anna.”


	22. Anarchy, #7

“Uh-um,” I stammered. I had to remind myself that I had just turned and every emotion was heightened, and also I could see better than before, but _still_...

... there was something _absurd_ about how beautiful this girl was.

Realizing that I had spent several seconds just staring at her, I took her hand and shook it.

“Nice... to meet you.”

“Anna left with me,” said Lexi. “When Stefan told us you’re here, she offered to come and help protect you from Katherine.”

I stepped back to let both of them in.

“When you say ‘Anna’,” I asked quietly, unable to detach my eyes from her face, “is that short for Annabelle?”

“Yes.”

“The daughter of Pearl?”

Anna nodded.

When she had still been alive, Sheila had relayed some information about the tomb vampires to us. I knew about a dozen names, one of which was Pearl. Stefan had told me that she had a daughter named Annabelle, although he hadn’t known anything else about her. I had assumed Pearl had probably been turned in 1864 along with most of the others, and that her daughter would be dead by now. Clearly, that wasn’t so.

“And when you say you’ll help us...”

“I want my mother back. I know you have the amulet.”

“Well... I’m not in much of a position to decline help right now. But...”

“I’m not a butcher,” said Anna. “I don’t resent humans. I’m not like Damon, alright? And neither is my mom. No-one has to die if you help me get her back. You won’t have blood on your hands.”

I took all of this in but didn’t quite know what to make of it. Her saying this meant that Anna knew things about me, and I didn’t know how.

“I’m sorry,” I said cautiously, “I hope this isn’t a... rude thing to ask. But, um – how old are you?”

“Five hundred and seventy-one.”

“ _Oh my god,”_ I whispered. So much for Pearl having been turned in 1864.

It took me a while to digest this news. Anna looked young – perhaps younger than me – but she was _ancient._ She was over two hundred years older than Lexi.

“Do you know how old Katherine is?” I asked. Involuntarily, I was still whispering.

“Thirty-five years younger than me.”

... and she was older than even Katherine. That made her an invaluable ally.

“I’m not just offering you protection,” said Anna. “I have a good friend who is a witch – if you help me, I’ll have her make you a daylight ring.”

I stared at her unimaginably gorgeous face and tried to think about the situation rationally.

_It’s true that the amulet is well guarded. If she hurts me right now, it’ll probably hurt her chances of getting her hands on it._

_But still..._

_Lexi has been here for less than a week, and given her age, Stefan’s probably about as dangerous to her as I’m to Damon. Why didn’t she just force both of us to give it to her?_

“What are you...” asked Lexi, but I barely registered her.

_There has to have been a better way than bargaining with me now._

_And her offer is so generous. A daylight ring? That’s crazy – I couldn’t have refused her protection anyway. She didn’t need to offer me anything else._

_But maybe she doesn’t look at it that way. Maybe she never thought about whether or not I could say no. And if that’s true, perhaps she would raise it even higher..._

What I did next took about as much willpower as it had taken for me to bite onto the pill.

“How many daylight rings?”

Anna’s face toughened. I actually bit onto my lip to prevent myself from uttering an apology.

“How many do you want?”

“Four. Besides me, there’s Jenna, Caroline, and Lee.”

“I don’t know if she’ll make four. I’m sorry. She could – I don’t know if she will. But I promise you that I’ll try.”

Her concession almost physically hurt.

“Deal,” I said, offering her my hand. “You’ll help us deal with Katherine and try to get your friend to make us rings, and I’ll help you get your mother out of the tomb. Although,” I added, “we still need a witch, now that Sheila is dead. Will your friend-”

“She lives in Canada,” said Anna, “but Lexi said she knows a witch in Georgia. _When_ will you help me? Only after we’ve dealt with Katherine?”

I shook my head. “There’s no reason to wait. Especially if your mother will help us, too. We may do it as early as tomorrow night. At most, we’ll wait for another week.”

“Promise?”

“We’ll do our best to free your mother from the tomb,” I said, “and we’ll do it by the end of next Tuesday at the latest – provided we have a witch who is willing to help us. I swear it.”

I couldn’t suppress a strange feeling of power when Anna took my hand and shook it. Within two months, I had gone from nothing to having a literal vampire on my side, and now...

... now, I had three vampires with ten centuries worth of strength between them as allies. If I continued like this, who in the world would be able to stop me?

“Are you alone here?” asked Lexi.

“No, I compelled a human to drive me.”

“You might wanna let him go. If Katherine shows up and he’s still here...”

“Right...” I threw a gaze at the bedroom. “Let me just think about how to do this...”

* * *

“Hi,” I said to Max as I entered the room. I sat down on the edge of his bed. “You okay?”

“Fine.”

“Good. Sorry for all this, but my life was at stake, and I would totally do it again. Anyway, I’d like to compensate you. If you get to go home now – or go wherever you wanted to go – what is the smallest amount of money I would have to give you such that you would consider the entire thing worth it?”

He stared at me for a while, then-

“I don’t know.”

“Please think about it and give me an estimate.”

Although he might be unfamiliar with thinking about questions like these, I knew my compulsion would force him to try. It was conceivable that no amount of money was worth taking away his autonomy, but-

“One thousand dollars.”

I nodded encouragingly. I had been prepared to give him up to ten-thousand, perhaps more.

“Okay,” I said, “in that case, I would double it and give you two thousand, if that’s okay with you, since I’ve exposed you to some risk, too.”

“You... actually want to give me money?”

“Yup,” I said, and started pulling bills out of Lexi’s wallet. I had planned to have him give me an email or something and then send it to him later, but Lexi having cash at hand had made the direct method more appealing. “That was a real question – will you be offended if I give you more than you asked for, or is two thousand fine?”

“It’s... fine.”

“Good.” I put the bills onto his nightstand. “In that case, please take this – it’s exactly two thousand – get dressed, and then leave the room. I’ll wait for you outside. My friend will make sure you don’t remember any supernatural stuff – don’t worry, it won’t hurt – and then, you get to leave. I won’t bother you again. I’m-”

I stopped. I had been about to apologize, but, given his payment, it should now be as if I had just done him a favor, which meant there was no reason to apologize, was there?

“Never mind,” I murmured.

* * *

I only watched as Lexi took over the job of seeing him out. She began by asking him a bunch of questions – why he had been out so late (worked a night shift) and whether he lived alone (he didn’t). Then, she simply changed the story to my having asked him to drive him somewhere and paid him out of gratitude. She gave him a different description of what I looked like and chose a different hotel that was farther away to make the long delay believable (in her version of the story, it made less sense for me to want him around while I slept). She also told him to disregard any orders I had given him. Finally, she ordered him to go down into his car, and, once he started driving, to forget everything that had happened and only remember what she had told him.

And _that_ carried an implication that was not lost on me. It seemed almost unfair, in a way: compulsion was already the most powerful ability of any vampire, but the fact that you could specify a future point for someone to forget things made it even more flexible. I didn’t know whether Stefan was aware of this – if he was, he had never told me.

“Do you want me to escort him?” asked Anna, the moment he closed the door behind him.

“I don’t think there’s a point – even if Katherine catches him, he doesn’t know anything important.”

“She could hurt him.”

“She could. But there’s nothing special about him – she can harm innocent people whenever she wants, and there’s nothing we can do about that until we catch her.”

I turned to face her – god, she was so beautiful, it almost hurt to look.

“I think there’s some stuff you haven’t told us yet,” I said. “Or me, anyway.”

Anna nodded. “We’ve already made the deal,” she reminded me.

“Right... I promise I won’t back out. But let’s sit down somewhere. I imagine it’ll be a longer story.”

There were three doors in the entrance hall. I had only looked into the rooms briefly when we had arrived, but I remembered which one led into the living room.

I looked back at Anna. I had been so entranced by her face that I hadn’t noticed whether she was wearing a ring. But she had come with Lexi, so...

“Do you have a daylight ring?” I asked.

“An amulet,” said Anna, and lifted it up between her fingers. This, too, I hadn’t noticed before. “My mother has one, too.”

“Then...” I pointed at the door. “Could you two please go into that room and close all the blinds? I’ll just wait here and try not to catch fire.”

* * *

The room was spacious, with a large wooden table and, of course, a decently sized television. It was now entirely isolated from sunlight. I chose the spot on the table next to Lexi, who was just opening her backpack.

When she pulled out her hand, there was a moment when I wondered whether Katherine had somehow impersonated her and was about to kill me – only then did I realize that the gesture wasn’t a threat.

“In case Katherine does show up,” said Lexi. She held the gun at its barrel, offering it to me. “Might make you a little more relevant in a fight. Stefan thought I should take some with me just in case.”

I reached out with a hand but hesitated halfway. Was it smart to give a newborn a lethal weapon?

But then, I took it. At the very least, I should be _more_ likely to hit Katherine than anyone else, and that would make me an asset.

“Is there anything else we can do to prepare?” I asked, turning the weapon around in my hand.

“Probably not,” said Lexi. “But we’ll hear it if she comes. And I don’t think it’s likely. She doesn’t know you’ve turned, does she?”

“No.”

“Then, even if she can find someone to cast a tracking spell, she would have to expect a trap. And I also have this...” she pulled out a pair of vervain darts. “One for each?” she asked Anna, who nodded and took the device.

“If she comes, we’ll kick her ass,” said Lexi. “Just try not to shoot me.”

“I’ll only use it if she’s not alone or if there’s a good moment,” I said. “Otherwise, you two should be able to deal with her.” I turned the gun around in my hand. “I shot at her when she entered the room,” I murmured. “But only once. If I had been just a little faster, well, Caroline and I would still be human now. And Katherine would be our prisoner.”

I put it in front of me.

“I saw the blood in your room,” said Lexi. “Looked tough. By the way, your safe was open. Was there anything valuable inside?”

I froze.

I had been supposed to close it. But I could remember that I hadn’t; I had been too occupied with the problem at hand.

“What was it?”

“The Gilbert compass,” I murmured. “Fuck. I’m sorry.”

“Why was it with you? I thought it was with Stefan?”

“I’ve taken it... when I went to the theater with Caroline... it was because of Isobel... I thought, maybe there was a chance someone would try to get at me for her... so I took it just in case...”

The guilt was like a knife piercing into my skin. I could have sworn that I had never felt this guilty before.

 _Why is it so strong,_ I wondered, then realized the answer momentarily. Every emotion was heightened, including guilt. _I wonder if vampires ever get used to that. Might explain why they’re not smarter than humans. If you turn up emotions but leave thinking constant..._

“Well,” said Lexi, “at least the council doesn’t have it.”

I said nothing. The fact that I had potentially put Lexi in danger was the most painful part. We had even talked about how the compass could be dangerous to her. I had to keep myself from uttering another apology.

“I also have this,” said Lexi, pulling out a blood bag. “I thought you might be hungry.”

In an instant, the compass was forgotten.

“I am,” I breathed. “I’m very hungry.”

* * *

The taste was not from this world.

It was as if I were drinking liquid fire, but the burning sensation consisted entirely of pleasure. When I felt a hand on mine, pushing it downward, it took a lot of willpower to lower the straw I was holding, rather than to push the hand away and get back to drinking – or better yet, to punch its owner.

I groaned, yearning for the sensation to return. It was so unfair how short-lived it was; the moment the stream stopped, the pleasure simply vanished.

“You okay?” asked Lexi.

“ _Want more,_ ” I growled, my entire body shivering.

“It’s important to learn how to control yourself. Can make the difference if you ever feed on someone.”

I nodded, then shivered again, but this time for a different reason. The idea that I could kill another person was utterly horrifying.

“I think you’ll have to say that again,” said Lexi to Anna.

I looked at her angelic face, and it took me a few seconds to remember that I had asked her a question right when Lexi had given me the blood bag. As soon as my tongue had tasted the substance, I had failed to even notice that she was talking, let alone to comprehend the words.

“Sorry,” I murmured. “It’s only the second time I’ve ever fed as a vampire.”

Even now, the lust for more blood was so powerful that the only thing holding me back from grabbing the bag again and draining it to its end was the desire not to disappoint Lexi.

“I know it’s tough when you’re new,” said Anna. “It’s been over five hundred years, but I still remember. Anyway – I’ve said that I arrived here on the day of the comet. I knew Damon would want to open the tomb – he and I both thought Katherine was in there – so I watched him. I was there at the founder’s party, too. I didn’t come inside, but I gathered enough to know that Damon had stolen the amulet.”

“Why didn’t you steal it before him?”

“Why should I? As long as Damon wanted to get in, why should I get involved?”

I could think of several reasons, but I only nodded, indicating for her to continue.

“I also heard it when Stefan caught him. I know he locked-”

“Sorry,” I said, interrupting her again, “but Stefan told me he didn’t see the amulet. Of course, he wasn’t looking for it...”

“Yeah, so?”

“Just – why didn’t you take it then? Wasn’t it right there?”

“I told you,” said Anna, “I wasn’t going to get involved while Damon still had a shot.”

I opened my mouth, but then closed it without saying anything.

“Right. Sorry. Go on, please.”

“Well, Stefan locked him up and guarded him for a few days, but then he went to talk to you, and Damon-”

“How do you know that?”

This time, it had been Lexi interrupting.

“I had to know what was going to happen to him, so I watched.”

“You mean, you heard it from outside of the house?” asked Lexi.

“I can hear well, even for a vampire. And I told you that you might not like the story.”

“I don’t have a problem with it,” I said, “but I’m surprised. Just waiting while Damon slowly rots in a cell, that takes a lot of patience.”

“My mother has been in the tomb for a hundred and forty-five years,” said Anna. “A few more days are nothing. So yeah, I’m patient.”

“I don’t really know what vampires are like,” I murmured. “Damon didn’t seem particularly patient. He’s killed people in the time he was there – it’s so stupid. Even if you don’t care about human life – if you want to do something you’ve been waiting to do for over a century, you don’t complicate things by adding unsolved murders to the equation. At least, you go someplace else before you feed.”

“I’m not Damon.”

“Yeah, thank god. Anyway, go on, please.”

I wasn’t quite sure why I had said all of that. Perhaps I was nervous. The fact that the same person was both the most powerful and the most beautiful vampire I had ever met seemed like an adequate reason to be a little intimidated, despite the fact that her demeanor didn’t reveal the slightest trace of arrogance.

“Well,” said Anna, “this is the part you really won’t like. I heard Caroline arrive at the house, and I let her go in.”

“I understand,” I said. “You wanted Damon to be free, so it wouldn’t have made sense to stop her.”

In fact, the more reasonable question was why she hadn’t tried to _help_ Damon by compelling Caroline to free him immediately. At that point, it had still been entirely plausible that Caroline would refuse to let him out, and Anna could have compelled her to take that risk out of the equation. Even then, I couldn’t say I was surprised. Anna clearly didn’t weigh her options in this way – if she did, she would have taken the amulet when it had been so readily up for grabs.

Anna nodded. “But then Stefan came back in time. And then you came. I heard what you said to Damon – I know you’ve collected photos of all the people he’s killed. And then, you made Stefan kill him.” She gave a dry chuckle and shook her head in disbelief. “You’ve made Stefan kill his own brother – I could barely believe it.”

“Were you following us into the woods, too? When we burnt him?”

“No. But I heard you discuss it, and I saw you coming back. Well – at that point, Damon was dead, and I didn’t know what happened to the amulet-”

“I’ve made Caroline give it to me.”

“Okay, but like I said, I didn’t know. Next day, you went to the funeral of your dead witch friend. I’ve followed you to Sheila’s home and listened to your conversation there.”

It wasn’t a surprise at this point, but nonetheless – that was when I had _begun_ to worry about other vampires. Now, I knew that someone old enough to easily kill Stefan and me had been watching us the entire time.

“Maybe you’re right, and I should have done something earlier,” said Anna. “After that day, I knew I couldn’t. I know that witches have tracking spells, and I’m not stupid enough to think I can take her on. Otherwise...”

She left the sentence unfinished, but I could guess what she meant.

“Kidnapping me to trade me for the amulet would have made sense,” I said.

Anna nodded. “But now I couldn’t. And I would never murder her like Katherine did. But you said that you wouldn’t destroy the amulet, so I knew that if I just waited longer, I would get my chance.”

“And yesterday?”

“I wasn’t there when Katherine broke into your house, Elena. If I was, I would have stopped her. I wouldn’t have let her turn you and your family just so that I can better bargain with you. But I only heard about it when Stefan told you.”

I knew that by ‘you’, she was referring to Lexi.

“And...” I turned to Lexi.

“We were at the grill. You had your movie night with Caroline, so I dragged Stefan and Lee out to have some fun. Your alarm system worked – Stefan got the notification on his phone. We returned to your house immediately, but it was too late.”

“Yeah, Katherine didn’t need a lot of time.”

“We got the two guys that helped her,” continued Lexi, “but they weren’t friends of hers – just some unlucky people she compelled.”

“Oh – that’s how she got in.”

“Yeah,” said Lexi. “What did you think?”

“I figured Jenna invited her – all Katherine would have needed to do was pretend to be me and be invited once. Then, she could have come back weeks later.”

I mentally apologized to Jenna. Though it was understandable, I had still been a little disappointed that she had supposedly made this mistake. Now, I knew that she hadn’t done anything wrong.

“Maybe that would’ve worked,” said Lexi. “But she just compelled them, and they forced Jenna to invite her in. Then, she killed Jenna, and you know the rest. I don’t think she knew any of them had vampire blood in their system. She probably thinks Jenna and Caroline are dead. Anyway, Lee and I took care of the newbies while Stefan went to Sheila’s, but she was already dead. He said he found her body in her house. Someone shot her.”

“But,” I asked, suddenly horrified, “not with-”

“From up close,” said Lexi.

“Oh. Thank god.”

I didn’t know how often I had talked about it, but just then, I had worried that Katherine had somehow gotten wind of my ideas for how a clever vampire could kill a witch if they wanted to.

 _Having someone break into her house_ , I thought, _that’s just crude. All it would have taken was for Sheila to react a little faster, and the plan fails... or she could have taken up our offer... she didn’t need to live without protection..._

_The better way to do it would have been to shoot her from a distance or to set up explosives in her house or whatever. Still. Katherine might not be as smart as I am, but the fact that she plans at all... that already makes her a more fearsome opponent than Damon or Isobel. I just hope she doesn’t step up her game now that-_

“You’re listening to me?” asked Lexi.

I blinked.

“Oh. Sorry. This never happened as a human. I just... get... immersed... in thoughts or whatever much more easily than before. No-one told me about that part.”

“Everyone reacts differently to being turned,” said Lexi. “It’s just like I’ve told you. There’s almost always something surprising. Lee didn’t have your problems – instead, he was struggling with depression, and still is. Others can get moody, or violent. Others still become angry, or rude, or selfish. And some don’t have any problems, but that’s the exception, not the rule. You lose sight of what’s around you, and you’re bad with blood. If that’s all it is, it could be much worse. You wouldn’t wanna trade places with Lee. Or with Stefan.”

“Am I bad around blood?” I inquired. “Compared to other vampires?”

“You’re pretty bad,” said Lexi. “I’ve rarely seen anyone so helpless. Especially since I know you’re trying.”

“That means Caroline and Jenna might have an easier time than me,” I murmured. “That’s good to hear.”

“Try again.” Lexi pulled out her blood bag. “You didn’t have much last time.”

“You’ll stop me when it’s too much?” I asked, and Lexi bowed her head.

Nervously, I took the straw. I resolved to try my best to stay calm this time, to retain my senses even while I was drinking. I managed it for about three seconds, then the blood took over. The room around me dissolved, and other thoughts were pushed into a distant corner of my head. It simply felt _too good_ to care about anything else.

And it vanished. As of before, I felt Lexi’s hand on top of mine, pushing it downward.

I clenched my jaw in an effort not to scream. I felt Lexi grabbing my arms and realized how much I was shaking. I opened my eyes to look at her, and for a moment, a part of the disappointment was replaced by a feeling of affection. Desperately, I tried to lean into the change, to direct all of my thoughts onto the person I owed everything to...

... and it worked. Not perfectly, but it _helped_. After a few seconds, I noticed that the disappointment was almost entirely gone. It, too, was short-lived.

“I love you.”

Lexi leaned forward in her chair to hug me.

“I love you, too,” she said. “And don’t worry about the blood – it’s just practice. You’ll get the hang of it, it’ll just take a little longer.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a question for anyone who's read the story this far, regarding my version of Elena.
> 
> Would you describe her as... feminine?
> 
> This has no particular relation to this latest chapter. (And I'm still interested in this question even if you're not reading this chapter as it comes out.)
> 
> In other news, this story is now officially longer than the first Harry Potter book! :-) It's an arbitrary goalpost, but for some reason it's what I've been comparing it to. As far as fiction goes, I've never had a project that's made it this far.


	23. Anarchy, #8

I blushed a little when I realized that I had entirely forgotten about Anna’s presence. But on the other hand, I had every intention of becoming friends with her, so perhaps it wasn’t so bad that she had witnessed this moment.

“With Sheila gone,” said Lexi, picking up the story where she had left off, “we had no way of finding you. But I have a friend in Georgia who is a witch. The plan was for Stefan and Lee to stay and take care of the newbies, while I go and pay her a visit. That’s when Anna showed up and offered to help. We figured that I would need her more than Stefan – we didn’t know you had already broken free yourself, so we thought we might have to take her on. I’m just glad we decided to drive rather than wait for the next flight.”

I nodded, and my gaze drifted back to Anna.

“Sorry if this is inappropriate,” I said slowly, “I don’t mean this as an interrogation, just as a question. How much do you value human life?”

“A lot,” said Anna. “But I don’t think it’s my responsibility to police what everyone else is doing.”

“That makes sense. And... what about vampire life?”

“I think trying to kill every vampire who murders regularly is a suicide mission. And I don’t think Damon would have stuck to his word.”

“Right. But what do _you_ think about it? If you could be friends with someone who kills humans to feed, could you also be friends with someone who kills vampires to save humans?”

“It doesn’t work that way, Elena. Vampires aren’t that easy to find. You would need the Gilbert compass, and even then, you can’t use it anymore now that you’ve turned.”

That was not an answer – but I was hesitant to press the issue.

“You know what I think about the tomb vampires?” I asked instead.

Anna nodded. I had talked about it a bunch of times, and she had, presumably, listened in regularly.

“The problem here is, we can’t safely close the tomb. We probably can’t safely guard it, either. That means we risk anyone inside going free. That’s why I’m wondering what you would be okay with. Would you be fine with killing everyone other than your mother? And,” I added, “from my perspective, I have to be afraid of you betraying me. I believe you, I do, but if what you really want is to free everyone, that might be more important to you than keeping your word, and I probably wouldn’t be able to stop you.”

“Why would I want that?”

“I don’t know. What I’m trying to do here is reduce the incentive for us to betray each other. Just in case. If you’ve listened in on conversations, you know how I think. I like to be prepared. And if you want something else, I can compromise.”

But Anna shook her head. “I just want my mother back. Kill everyone else if you want. I don’t care.”

“Okay – but in that case, I still care. Do you know many of the tomb vampires?”

“A few.”

“And are there any you know to be murderers?”

“Yes. But I won’t tell you whom to kill.”

“You’re fine with killing everyone,” said Lexi, “but not with killing only the bad ones?”

She had taken the words right out of my mouth.

“I don’t want to have blood on my hands,” said Anna. “You can kill them, or you can let them out, but I won’t be involved.”

“But-”

I stopped.

There was no way to make sense of Anna’s refusal to be involved because her involvement didn’t move the world into a clearly defined direction. If the default plan was to leave everyone alive, her involvement would kill vampires; if the default plan was to kill everyone, her involvement would save vampires. And yet, she wasn’t even interested in which of the two it was.

But I had my doubts that debating the merits of consequentialism with someone twenty times my age would be fruitful, so I said none of that. Instead, I did my best to come up with an argument that would make sense to her.

“You wouldn’t be killing them. And you have some part in it, anyway. We’ll go into the tomb because of you.”

“I’m going into the tomb to get my mother back,” said Anna. “I don’t care about the others. But if I give you the names of other vampires, those vampires would die because of me. I won’t do that.”

“Alright,” I conceded, “I understand. Well... in that case, we’ll probably leave them there... no,” I corrected myself, “no, we can’t do that. Katherine would... that is...”

My voice trailed off. I realized that I wasn’t approaching the problem correctly. I had to start again; start from the beginning.

“Okay,” I said, “let’s shelve the tomb stuff for now. Why did Katherine kidnap me? Do you know? Did Stefan have an idea?”

“We all thought she was dead,” said Lexi. “No idea what she wants. You were the one who met her. Did she say anything?”

I thought back to the incident.

“Yes, actually. She said that it didn’t have to be this way and something about wanting to spend time with Stefan. I think she was implying that her original plan was to just show herself, but that she couldn’t do it with me around because she’d end up dead.”

“She might have a point there,” said Lexi.

“You bet. She also indicated that she was upset about Damon before she punched me.”

“Indicated how?”

“I think her exact words were, ‘this is for killing Damon, bitch’.”

Lexi raised an eyebrow.

“How did she know?”

That, I realized, was an excellent question. How indeed?

“Is it possible that she was in hearing range, too?” I asked.

“No way,” said Anna. “I’d have noticed her.”

“Then,” I said, “someone must have told her. But...” I stopped. “If it were just that Damon died,” I said slowly, “that would be one thing – a bunch of people might know that – he might have been missed or whatever – but she blamed _me_ for killing him. This isn’t something you would guess – she must have known how it went down. And... there are only a hand full of people who know about it... there’s Jenna, Caroline – but I’m not even sure I’ve told Caroline the details – Stefan, Zach, and me.”

“What about Sheila?” asked Lexi.

“Right, Sheila. Did we tell her? I don’t remember...”

“You said, ‘I convinced Stefan to kill him’,” supplied Anna. “‘We burnt his body and buried his ashes in the woods.’”

Her knowing this was a little creepy, but also helpful.

“Thanks,” I murmured. “Okay, so I’ve told her – kind of. But that doesn’t seem like it can be it. As far as we know, Katherine wasn’t even there when she had Sheila murdered – and even if she was, why would this be something she had asked about?”

“Zach, then?” suggested Lexi.

“Zach said under compulsion that he would never betray us, and Stefan hasn’t told him about...” I paused. Anna might already know about Gail, but if she didn’t, it probably wasn’t something I should tell her “... the incident,” I continued, “so I don’t see why that would have changed. But if he was compelled... he did say that he had stopped taking vervain after Damon’s death.”

I thought more about it. If Katherine had compelled Zach...

“... that would also explain why she knew I was at home that night,” I murmured. “I sleep at the boarding house about half the time. Probably more.”

“I could check,” offered Anna.

“You could... _oh._ ”

This was something I had known in theory, but I hadn’t realized the implications of Anna’s presence. If two vampires compelled the same person to do contradicting things, the one from the older vampire would override that of the younger one, assuming both vampires were on human blood. Previously, this had meant that Katherine’s compulsion would be impossible to detect. But now...

“Yes,” I said to Anna, “please do. And not just Zach, but also every other possible target – Matt, Tyler, Jeremy – if that’s okay with you. Caroline and Jenna would be on the list, too, if they hadn’t turned.”

Anna just shrugged. “Sure.”

“Okay,” I said, “good... but we still don’t know what Katherine wants. If she wanted me out the way, she could’ve just killed me. She didn’t seem to know that we were on vampire blood. So... I guess it has to be for leverage? She wants the tomb opened, for whatever reason, and wants to blackmail Stefan to do it?”

“If I were kidnapping you for leverage,” said Lexi, “I wouldn’t kill your aunt and your best friend in the process.”

“That’s... a good point...” I said slowly. “Yeah... it doesn’t seem like a thing you would do if you wanted Stefan to cooperate. But then, what did she want?”

I looked at Anna.

“Do you know anything?”

“No. I also thought she was in the tomb all these years.”

“Given the timing, it’s probably related to either the tomb or Isobel,” I mused. “Okay – I assume you don’t know much about Isobel...”

Anna shook her head.

“... but what about Katherine?”

“She was friends with my mother.”

“Oh? But if she just wants to free Pearl, she could have achieved that much more easily.”

“I don’t think Katherine is doing this for Pearl. Doesn’t seem like her. I don’t think Kathrine really cares much about anyone but herself.”

“Did you know her well?”

Anna nodded. “I’ve known her for over two hundred years before 1864. Although she never stayed with us for long, and we often didn’t see her for years, even decades.”

“What was she like?”

“Playful. Selfish. Didn’t care about humans. She wasn’t sadistic, but she would kill with no remorse if it was convenient. And she was clever. It was difficult to know what she wanted even then.”

That sounded similar to what Stefan had told me.

“Well,” I said, “if nothing else, we should assume that she _has_ a plan. I just don’t know what it can be.” _Which is the sign of someone smart,_ I added in thought. “Killing me doesn’t seem to be it because she didn’t, and taking me for leverage doesn’t seem to be it because of what Lexi said. But whatever it is, it probably includes freeing the vampires from the tomb. Maybe she just thought Stefan would cooperate either way...”

I made a pause.

“Okay, if we can’t figure out what she wants... the biggest open question is what we can do to stop her. We’ll be trapped in this room for quite a bit longer, and this is the thing we should think about. So...”

“Do you want this?” I turned my head to Lexi, who had pulled a notebook out of her bag. Sheila had once mentioned that tracking spells could be made easier if the object used was important to the person, so Stefan and I had decided to keep some of my old journals at the boarding house, to prepare for a case like this. Naturally, since the plan had been for Lexi to visit a witch, Stefan would have given it to her.

“Only if you also have something to write.”

Lexi grinned and produced a pen out of her pocket. “I figured I’d take one just in case.”

“Thanks.” I took both items, then flipped through the pages until I found a spot with some space left to write on. “Alright... let’s brainstorm. What can we do to prepare for Katherine? Ideas?”

“Find out if Isobel knows something,” suggested Lexi, and I wrote it down.

* * *

“The witch I know lives in Canada,” said Anna, “and if you want her to make you more than one ring, I don’t think we should ask her to also open the tomb for you. Maybe Lexi should go straight to Georgia once it’s dark. Freeing my mother is the best thing you can do if you’re worried about Katherine. That puts another powerful vampire between you and her. And I can take you home by myself.”

“I think Elena wants both of us to protect her,” said Lexi, and I nodded.

“You’re not _that_ much older than her,” I said to Anna. “And I don’t want to give her even odds.”

“I can drive there first thing tomorrow,” said Lexi.

“But you would have to bring her here,” I said slowly. “If we want her to open the tomb.”

“Yup.”

 _Escort witch here_ , I added onto the list.

“We should be careful about that, too – if I’m a target, you’re a target, and Katherine could attack you on the way.”

* * *

“As I see it,” I said, “the biggest problem we have – aside from the tomb stuff – is that we have too many points of attack. Even if all vampires stay in one place, Katherine could still go after Jeremy, Matt, or Tyler – or the tomb, if we leave someone in there. It just seems impossible to protect everyone we care about.”

“Would you give yourself up to save them?” asked Lexi.

“I wouldn’t. But Katherine may not know that.”

I twirled the pen in my hand, staring at the item in the list that said ‘protect loved ones’.

“Even if we tell them,” I murmured, “and we give them guns, vervain, vampire blood, whatever – none of that really matters. There is no way to make it so they have a chance if Katherine decides to hurt or kidnap them. She’s far too strong. And even if we did quarantine them all – there are their parents, and Matt has a sister, Jeremy’s ex... it’s hopeless.”

“In some cases,” said Lexi, “you have an agreement that no-one goes after loved ones of the other. It’s better for everyone if they stick to this rule.”

“But Katherine doesn’t love anyone but herself,” said Anna.

I twirled the pen faster – much faster than I could have done as a human.

“Fear of retaliation,” I murmured. “It’s the same principle nations apply to nuclear weapons...”

“How do you retaliate against someone in hiding who doesn’t have anyone close to them?” asked Anna.

 _Yes,_ I thought, _that’s the question. What do we have to threaten Kathrine?_

It didn’t take me long to come up with an answer.

I shuddered as I wrote it down.

* * *

“Okay,” I said slowly, “let’s tackle the elephant in the room. The tomb.”

At some point during the past hour, Lexi had left her seat and had begun to pace around the room. Anna, on the other hand, hadn’t moved from her seat once. Given what she had done and how she had behaved in the past hour, I figured her patience must be virtually infinite.

I flipped through the pages until I found another spot with some empty space left.

“Option 1: free everyone. Will lead to countless human deaths. Unacceptable. Option 2: kill everyone except Pearl. Essentially murder without having any proof of guilt except in the cases where Sheila has given us information. Also pretty bad. Option 3: leave them there. Probably amounts to either Option 1 or 2 if Katherine gets into the tomb. I guess we could try to set up a trap, but it seems fairly hopeless. She doesn’t have to go in herself – all she needs to do is compel someone to give everyone in there a blood bag.”

I paused.

“Those are all terrible. Can we seal the tomb again after we’ve opened it?”

“According to the witch I’ve mentioned,” said Anna, “no. Only once the comet comes back next time.”

“Okay... can’t seal it magically... trying to do it in other ways is probably not possible... whatever we do, Katherine could undo... so if we can’t free them, can’t kill them, can’t leave the bodies there...”

It took me a few seconds, then I saw another way.

“We have to move them.”

“Where to?” asked Lexi from the other side of the room.

“The boarding house. Otherwise, it’s just one more point of attack. Now that Katherine has the compass, hiding them would be difficult at best.”

“That would kill them,” said Lexi.

“... why?”

I was looking at Lexi, but Anna answered in her stead.

“Because they aren’t invited in.”

“... oh. Crap. They would die?”

“Yes,” said Lexi. “It damages their bodies. If you knock a vampire unconscious and move him into a house he hasn’t been invited into, he’ll regenerate faster than it hurts him, but those vampires are mummies. Our healing abilities go out the window without blood.”

I drove a hand through my hair, trying to digest this further restriction.

“What if we invite them in?” I asked, getting somewhat desperate.

“You would have to wake them,” said Lexi.

“What if we just give them a little bit of blood?”

“That would work, but then you would subject them to repeat the experience. Witnessing the slow shut down of your body-”

“Right,” I said, “I get it. Yeah, that’s definitely out of the question. I’d rather kill everyone than torture them.”

I felt a slowly growing sense of despair. There was no law of nature dictating that every problem I encountered needed to have a solution. Perhaps, this problem truly was unsolvable.

... but we had to solve it, somehow. We _had_ to.

“We could transfer the house... if Zach is okay with that... we could make Stefan the owner. That way, the barrier disappears. But we _need_ it. Without it, Katherine can just walk in and kill Zach... not to mention any other vampire. Giving that up is a high price to pay. And it’s not even a good solution. We would only delay the problem... and make failure an even worse outcome...”

“If it comes to it,” said Lexi, her arms now resting on the back of a chair, “would you rather kill everyone than free everyone?”

I nodded. “The average vampire causes too much damage to release a random sample. And it’s probably worse than random in this case – they would be disoriented, justifiably angry, might want revenge...”

“It would help if we knew more about them,” said Lexi.

We both looked at Anna.

“Even if I were willing to help you, I only know a few of them,” she said with a sigh. “It wouldn’t solve your problem.”

“Is there any other way we could...”

I stopped mid-sentence. A horrible sinking feeling hit my stomach when I realized what the true solution was.

“What is it?” asked Lexi.

“They think I’m Katherine,” I said in a hollow voice. “I look exactly like her. They were in the tomb together, and Katherine wasn’t there... they know she’s out there. If I revive one of them, they’ll think Katherine has come back to save them. I can talk to them. Figure out their attitude toward humans.”

“And kill them if it’s not good enough?” asked Lexi.

I looked at her and nodded.

“ _You_ want to do this?” asked Anna, her tone skeptical.

“I think I have to.”

“But you’re-”

“A newborn, seventeen years old, and emotionally volatile,” I said. “Yup.”

“And you’ll do it anyway,” said Anna.

“Yes,” I whispered. “There’s no other way. If we can’t move them and we can’t seal the tomb, it follows that we can’t postpone the decision. That means we have to do it on the spot. Then, the only question is how we can get as much information as possible. And that will be me talking to them. Katherine doesn’t care about humans. You’ve said it yourself. They won’t think they have any reason to hide their true opinions from her. We can come up with some kind of story to make it part of the conversation... they’ll wake up from months of suffering and suspect nothing... it shouldn’t even be difficult to figure out what they think...”

“Maybe not,” said Lexi, “but killing them will be.”

As if to prove her point, the first tear rolled down my cheek at that moment. And if the mere thought about what I would have to do in a few days was enough to make me cry...

... how bad would it be to kill over a dozen vampires?

* * *

The day went on without a sign of Katherine. As the hours passed, it became increasingly difficult to strategize. Eventually, I gave up trying to be productive, and the conversation drifted to less urgent matters.

I would have liked to use the opportunity to learn more about Anna, but that turned out to be difficult – she wasn’t talkative, and, unlike Lexi and me, seemed entirely immune to boredom. The most humanity she showed was when Lexi teased her for being a stalker – a label that was difficult to argue with, given what she had done.

When it got dark, we got into the car without trouble. I spent most of the drive daydreaming about Stefan. I missed him, and my new ability to get so deeply lost in thought turned out to be useful. I had decided against calling – he was probably busy, and in any case, it would be a poor substitute.

We arrived past midnight. Whilst still on the road, I had imagined how good it would be to meet him now that all sensations were heightened. I was not disappointed. When he came out of the house and hugged me, I knew I had never been as deeply in love as in this moment. The feeling became even more intense as we exchanged a passionate kiss.

When we parted, I realized that Lexi had already gone inside, probably to meet with her boyfriend. When I was about to step inside myself, Anna grabbed my arm to pull me back.

“You can’t enter this house.”

“Oh. I forgot.” Experimentally, I tried to do it anyway. It was very unpleasant, worse than hitting a wall. I silently thanked Anna for not letting me walk blindly into it.

 _“ **Zach!** ”_ called Stefan. “He doesn’t know yet,” he added toward me. “He just wasn’t around, and I had other things to do. It was almost like he was avoiding us.”

“Do you want me to do it now?” asked Anna.

“Yeah,” I said once I realized what she was talking about, “go for it.”

It took an unusually long time, but then, Zach showed up at the door.

“What is it?”

“You need to invite me in,” I said.

He stared at me.

“... oh. Shit. ... well, come in, please.”

But Anna stepped inside first. She walked up to Zach and grabbed his head with both hands, forcing him to look at her.

“Did Katherine compel you?”

“Yes,” said Zach at once. Then, he took several deep breaths, leaned against the wall, and slowly sank downward. “Oh, god,” he murmured. “Finally. Finally, it’s over.”


	24. Interlude, #1

Stefan kneeled down beside him, and I followed suit.

“I’m sorry,” said Zach, “I’m so sorry. She compelled me to tell her everything, that’s how she knew you were at home last night, and she-”

“It’s not your fault,” I said, but Zach didn’t stop to listen.

“-forced me not to tell you anything. I tried to get around it, but I couldn’t. She compelled me not to do anything that would help you find out. So I tried to stay away as much as possible to not hear things that I would need to tell her... I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, Zach,” echoed Stefan. “No-one can fight compulsion.”

“It is my fault – I should have kept taking vervain. Elena showed me how little I would have needed, and Katherine only got to me after that. We had more than enough.”

“Okay,” I said, “so you’ve neglected taking vervain. That’s one mistake, at most. Who knows what she would have done if you had been protected. And everything after that isn’t your fault. If you tried to stay absent, that means you did the best you could.”

Indeed, Zach’s absence had been _noticeable_. He was virtually never around when I was, even though he worked from home. It had been like that for a while. Never mind his mistakes – _I_ could have realized that something was wrong much earlier if I had been smarter.

This was something I should take to heart. Just because I was smarter than my opponents didn’t mean I could rest easy. I could always do better. There was no reason why I couldn’t have deduced that Zach might be compelled much earlier. I’d had all the information necessary to figure it out.

And if turning amplified your character traits, I ought to get better at doing this in the future. Thinking for minutes at a time came easier to me now than it had before.

I decided to apply the lesson to the situation at hand – and within a moment, I realized what Zach being compelled really meant.

“We can catch her,” I heard myself say.

“Katherine?” asked Stefan.

I nodded. “If we can feed her any information we want – I don’t know how to do it yet, but there’s got to be a way to use this to catch her.”

“You want me to pretend I’m still spying for her?” asked Zach.

I nodded again. “Please,” I added, “if that’s something you’re willing to do.”

“... alright,” said Zach, and I could tell from his tone that he was probably only doing it because he felt guilty – but this was too important to feel bad about manipulating him.

“Does she know about Anna?” I asked. A lot would turn on that; if she knew, she might become suspicious, but if she didn’t...

“Not yet,” said Zach, and I almost cheered. “But I’ll have to tell her the next time she contacts me, which could be at any moment.”

“That’s no problem,” said Anna. “I can override anything she’s told you to do.”

“And the fact that she didn’t order you to tell her things immediately shows that she’s not that smart,” I said, my thoughts already racing ahead. “Smarter than Isobel, sure, but not by enough. Give me a couple of days – we’ll go into the tomb first, anyway – and I’ll figure out a plan. Until then, we just have to decide what to tell her when she asks. Did you tell her that I’ve turned?”

“No. I didn’t know about it until now.”

I turned my head. Jenna had come into the entrance hall. I ignored the problem at hand and went over to hug her.

“I don’t know how you feel about being a vampire,” I whispered, “but if you don’t like it, then... Jenna, I’m so sorry, it’s my fault. So... how are you...”

We parted, and Jenna shook her head. “It’s okay. I think. If... I think that... that, if you had turned out well, as a vampire... I think I would have wanted to turn anyway. I’m not sure. But... man, it’s _intense_. Thank you for making me drink vampire blood, Elena. You’ve saved both of us. Caroline and me. I’m so glad that I listened to you.”

“You wouldn’t have been killed in the first place if not for me,” I held against her. “How is Caroline doing?”

“Awesomely,” said Jenna. “Way better than me. I can’t get a taste of blood without going all crazy and wanting more.”

“And she _can?_ ”

“Almost.”

“What the fuck?”

“You can’t, either?”

I gave a humorless laugh. “It’s hard enough not to scream at everyone else _after_ they’ve pulled me away from the blood. How can Caroline be so much better at this?”

“I can hear you, you know.” Caroline had appeared beside us mid-sentence. “Looks like I’m the better vampire. Sorry to disappoint you, Elena.”

Throughout all this, I had still heard Stefan and Anna talking to Zach, which was _distracting_. It was difficult to pay attention to both conversations at the same time, but from what I had gathered, Stefan had worked out a reasonable way to handle the situation, namely by giving Zach the ability to hide pieces of information if he wanted to, but instructing him to act as if he was still compelled otherwise. Then, Zach had pointed out that Katherine would want to know how I had escaped.

“Tell her I was wearing a tracker,” I said over my shoulder. “That way, Stefan could follow me. He broke into the house when Katherine wasn’t there and freed me.”

“The sunlight thing _sucks_ , though,” Caroline now said. “You were right, Elena. We need daylight rings, badly.”

“That’s gonna be difficult,” said Jenna. “Bonnie and her grandmother are both dead.”

“Anna has offered to maybe get us some if we help her free Pearl,” I said. “But don’t get your hopes up. She’s only promised us one, and she said she doesn’t know if her witch will agree to make more. And dealing with the tomb is not going to be easy.”

Stefan appeared beside me.

“You sure about the tracker idea, Elena? If we do that, Katherine will know we use them. Zach said he didn’t tell her about them, either.”

“Give me a few more minutes to think about it,” I said. “If we can come up with a better idea, that’s great – but telling her about the trackers is probably better than claiming we had access to a second witch... for several reasons.”

“What the hell is a tracker?” asked Caroline.

“A GPS tracker,” said Stefan. “While it’s on, you can access its location from a smartphone. Global reach. Don’t look at me, it was Elena’s idea. If she had carried one, we would have been able to follow her. Katherine didn’t search her pockets, so there’s no reason why she shouldn’t believe it if that’s what Zach tells her.”

“So, why didn’t you?” asked Jenna. “Carry one?”

Suddenly, everyone in the room was looking at me.

“I... wasn’t keeping one in my safe,” I said truthfully, “we only have them here. So, when I heard Katherine break in, I couldn’t-”

“But why not?” inquired Jenna.

I held up both hands in a gesture of helplessness. “Don’t know. I guess I wasn’t thinking much about kidnapping.”

“But you had the blood thing... _and_ the suicide pill,” said Jenna.

“Which was mostly a way to have vervain on me,” I reminded her. “And the point was that it would be with me at all times. I haven’t _specifically_ prepared for a kidnapping. And I had decided against having human blood around – it seemed impractical. It was only when Lexi came over and had donor blood with her that I asked her to give me some. And that was the only reason the plan worked. I couldn’t have escaped without having blood to complete the transition.”

“But wouldn’t it have been much easier to just have a tracker in your safe and hide that from Katherine?” asked Caroline. “Instead of _two_ flasks of vampire blood and donor blood?”

“Yes,” I said freely, “it would have. I’m sorry. We have more than one here, but I didn’t think about keeping one at my place. I should have done that, and maybe left the compass here instead. I’m sorry.”

“Could we stop blaming the person who did more thinking ahead than the rest of us combined?” suggested Stefan. “Does that sound good?”

No-one said anything else, and I nervously let Stefan take me into his arms. I wasn’t quite sure what had happened, but everyone had seemed strangely antagonistic for a moment. I turned my head to look for Lexi, but she wasn’t there.

I reminded myself that Jenna and Caroline had both just turned, much like myself – and in both cases, it was at least partially on me.

I could feel my eyes watering. This, I was pretty sure, was due to the transition – even I hadn’t been quite so thin-skinned before. I kept my head on Stefan’s breast, hoping I would be able to hide it. I didn’t want Jenna or Caroline to feel bad about the incident, and I knew that they would if they saw what effect it had on me.

“You should talk to Isobel,” said Stefan, speaking quietly. “We haven’t visited her while you were gone. She still hasn’t gotten any blood.”

I didn’t trust my voice – and now that everyone had supernatural hearing, I didn’t know if I could whisper quietly enough for only him to hear me, so I said nothing.

“You okay, Elena?” I heard Caroline ask, and my heart sank. Reluctantly, I turned my head to look at her.

“Don’t worry about it,” I said in a whisper, “it’s just because of the transition.”

“Oh my god! Elena, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine,” I assured her, “really.”

“Come on,” murmured Stefan, and pulled me away from the scene.

“Did we decide what to do with Zach?” I asked as I followed him upstairs.

“I think so. **Anna?** ”

I realized what he was doing and remembered in time to become mindful of the sounds I was hearing.

“I’m here,” came Anna’s voice from the direction of the entrance hall. “You still want to do the tracker thing?”

Now that I was focused on it, I couldn’t help to also hear Jenna say something to Caroline (that was about me) and Lexi saying something out of a different direction, probably one of the seven bedrooms – and then Jeremy of all people answering her.

This would take some getting used to.

“Elena?” asked Stefan.

“Right,” I said. “Tracker. Yes, go for it. How does she contact you?”

I heard Anna relay the question to Zach.

“She texts me,” said Zach’s voice, “and I’m compelled to text her back.”

“Good,” I said, “then we don’t have to worry about you sounding believable.”

Once again, I heard Anna relay what I had said to Zach.

“ ** _Caroline,_** ” I said sharply as Stefan led me into our shared bedroom, feeling both annoyed and embarrassed. “Stop worrying about me, seriously. I’m _fine._ ”

I had the strong suspicion that the cocktail effect would extend to supernatural hearing, and I was right. Below us, the conversation between Jenna and Caroline abruptly stopped.

“Okay,” said Caroline’s voice, “okay, fine. Sorry.”

I sighed, but made sure to do it silently, then dropped down onto the edge of the bed.

“It’s possible to be so quiet that no-one else can hear us,” whispered Stefan, “even if they’re trying, as long as they’re in another room.”

“Good,” I murmured.

I could feel myself about to cry again, and this time, it came with no small amounts of frustration and disappointment. I had worried about this as a human, but Lexi had given me some hope that it wouldn’t be so bad, and it _hadn’t_ been too bad until now...

Suddenly, I remembered what I had decided to do with the tomb vampires, and for a moment, I felt utterly horrified. Worse, it felt like it was obviously not going to happen. How was it anything but madness to plan a mass murder _if I couldn’t stomach two of my closest friends mildly criticizing me?_

I dropped back and fell headfirst onto the bed.

“I just want to sleep,” I murmured.

“Isobel,” Stefan reminded me.

“Oh, fuck.”

“Just take a break. You’ll feel better in a bit. Mood can change fast as a vampire. Do you want me to leave?”

“No,” I whispered, “come here.”

I had my eyes closed, but I heard him scoot up beside me, and I leaned against him when he put his arm around me.

* * *

When I pulled up the shutter this time, I saw Isobel lying on the floor, barely moving. It had been two and a half days since we had caught her. Damon had still been able to speak after four days without blood, but he had been much older.

I waited for her to show a sign of being present, figuring that she must have heard me. But perhaps she was asleep.

“Isobel?”

After a few seconds, her head was moving. Isobel groaned, then crawled into a sitting position.

“Why were you still in Mystic Falls?”

“I was working for someone,” said Isobel weakly, and with no trace of arrogance left to her voice. “He or she wanted me here. I’ll tell you, but – you have to give me blood, Elena. Please.”

I pulled up one of the small hip flasks and put it in between two bars.

“Tell me who you work for, and this is yours.”

“It’s important information... and he or she won’t like it if I tell you. It’s worth more than that. Please.”

“Okay – I promise you – let’s say, forty ounces of blood if you answer me. That should be about a day’s ration.”

“A gallon.”

“Half a gallon or nothing.”

Isobel buried her face in her hands. “Katherine,” she murmured. “I’m working for Katherine. Do you know who she is?”

I slid the flask through the hole. Due to its material, it wouldn’t be damaged by the fall.

“I know who Katherine is,” I said, “and I know about the tomb and that she was supposed to be in there but isn’t. Thanks for being honest. I’ll get you more blood soon – like, in under an hour. I promise. Don’t have more right now.”

Isobel took the flask and opened it. She took a swing at it, but then put it down.

“What is this?” she asked.

“Animal blood.”

“Animal blood – really?”

“Well, you’re not getting human blood. I don’t really want you to be able to reach out to people from within here, you know? Makes guarding you more difficult.”

Without saying anything, Isobel put the flask back onto her lips and emptied it.

“I want human blood.”

“No chance.”

“Please, Elena.”

“Absolutely not. I’m not giving you a tool you can use to escape.”

Isobel gave a weak whimper.

“Give me something to distract myself, at least. Something to read. Please.”

“That can be arranged. What do you want?”

“Can I name specific books?”

“Don’t see why not. Let’s make it three, for now. I’m open to more in the future.”

Isobel gave me a list of three names. They were all nonfiction, and two of them seemed to be about local history, judging by the title.

“And something to sleep on,” said Isobel.

“The three books, something to sleep on, and half a gallon of animal blood,” I said. “I promise. Now, what does Katherine want?”

“Bring me the blood first,” murmured Isobel. “It was for your earlier question.”

I hesitated.

“That’s fair. I’ll be back soon.”

* * *

It only took about half an hour, then I returned to Isobel’s cell carrying two bottles of animal blood. Since she was now cooperating, I didn’t want her to suffer anymore, and Stefan had agreed to supply the blood on short notice.

“This won’t fit through the bars,” I said upon opening the shutter. “I’ll have to open the door.”

“Go ahead. I won’t do anything.”

“Go to the end of the cell, please.”

Isobel did this. I unlocked the door-

-and Isobel rushed at me as soon as I opened it. I fended her off without difficulty, took a step inside the cell, and pressed her body against the wall.

Isobel gave a painful groan. “What the hell? _How?_ Who are you?”

“Elena Gilbert,” I said icily. “And you’ve promised me not to do anything.”

I let go of her. She had to catch her fall with both hands.

“When... when the fuck did you turn?”

I ignored the question. “Here’s your blood,” I said, putting both bottles beside her. When she grabbed one and opened it, I left the cell and locked her back in. A newborn on human blood would probably beat a young vampire on animal blood, but there was no reason to test that theory.

“I assume the deal is off,” said Isobel after emptying the entire bottle and thereby depleting half of her supply.

“No,” I said, “it’s still on. Tell me what Katherine wants, and I’ll bring you what you’ve asked for.”

“I had to try,” said Isobel. “Anyone would have done the same.”

“I doubt that,” I said honestly. “I would have to be an utter idiot for what you tried to work. You might have done better waiting for a real chance.”

In truth, I hadn’t even relied on beating her myself; instead, I had asked Lexi to wait in hearing range, just in case Isobel was somehow stronger than expected.

Isobel got up and walked to the end of the cell and back.

“Katherine wants all tomb vampires dead.”

Now _that_ was valuable information indeed – if it was true.

“Why?” I probed.

“Not part of the deal. And she hasn’t told me.”

“But do you know?”

“Not part of the deal.”

“I’ll give you two gallons of blood – that should last for about a week.”

“First, give me what we agreed on.”

I briefly considered bribing her with human blood – that would probably work. But I didn’t want her to know how eager I was to hear the answer.

“Fine,” I murmured. “I’ll try to get you everything as soon as possible.”

I closed the shutter, retreated from the cell, and returned to where Lexi was waiting.

“Do you have my notebook?” I asked. “The one I used at the hotel?”

“Should still be in the backpack,” said Lexi. “It’s in, err, one of the bedrooms. Do you want me to get it?”

I nodded. “And afterward, we should all meet up. It’s time to make this tomb plan official.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! :)
> 
> Let's talk about Luminosity. (Link: https://luminous.elcenia.com)
> 
> Luminosity is a Twilight fanfic. I've mentioned it in the notes to chapter 11, although it hasn't been there when the chapter was first posted, so you might not have seen it. Luminosity has been the primary inspiration for this story. Upon reading it, one of my reactions was thinking that, while the overall work was impressive, there was no particular part that felt like something I couldn't have written myself, so I went on to test that theory. I didn't expect it to ever cross 10.000 words, but here we are.
> 
> (The last paragraph is in no way meant to imply that I'm as good of a writer as Alicorn, who wrote Luminosity.)
> 
> The structure is a bit similar: the main character's personality is supposed to be the only initial change from the original. Luminosity-Bella is similar to Meteor-Elena in that she's analytical and very ambitious, though there are also significant differences. One difference is that I put more emphasis on the utilitarian-ish ethics. In popular media, I often see a particular stereotype of the classical "good person." This person is very selfless, would die for her friends, but is shockingly indifferent to the fates of people who aren't close to her. Original Elena is pretty much that – and original Bella even more so. With Elena, while she ends up tolerating far too much of it in my view, she at least *recognizes* that it's a bad thing if innocents die because of her. Bella doesn't give a fuck. In book three, another vampire kills hundreds of people to get at her and there isn't a single sentence in the book indicating that Bella feels bad about it, even though she's meant to be an empathetic, caring person.
> 
> Meteor-Elena, as you know, is the opposite of that on all accounts. She's more "selfish," yet far more caring when it comes to strangers.
> 
> Sorry for the tangent. 😔 I wanted to talk about Luminosity, so let's do that. After an ominous prequel, it opens like this:
> 
> > Here is how I decided to live with my father in Washington.
> 
> > My favorite three questions are, What do I want?, What do I have?, and How can I best use the latter to get the former?
> 
> > Actually, I'm also fond of What kind of person am I?, but that one isn't often directly relevant to decision making on a day-to-day basis. 
> 
> One thing I worry about a lot with Meteor is that Elena’s overly analytical nature might be off-putting to people. That’s why reading Luminosity was encouraging: her Bella strikes me as more overtly analytical/rationalist than my Elena, so if Luminosity is something people can put up with, then Meteor should be, too (in that regard). Of course, I have no idea how many people are alienated still since I believe most people on this site are too nice to comment when they don’t like something. (Maybe that’s not true? I can’t really tell since I don’t read other fanfics, but it’s the impression I got.) I mean, at least *some* people got to be upset that I killed the most popular character in the franchise in chapter 7, right? Similarly, I have no idea how many people were alienated by Alicorn’s Bella, but I believe the story is at least moderately successful (don’t really know since there are no view counts or comments).
> 
> One of my favorite scenes in Luminosity is when Edward mentions that he’s worried about souls. Imagine someone like Elena, but more extreme and less concerned with not hurting other people’s feelings, reacting to that idea. It doesn’t take long for him to throw in the towel.
> 
> > Edward made an awful face. "Okay, okay," he said. "Never mind about souls." 
> 
> > I sighed. "Do you actually no longer believe that turning into a vampire makes an important thing called a "soul" evaporate, or do you just not want to think about Esme being someone who lacks an important thing called a "soul"?"
> 
> > He was silent, and I sighed heavily and closed my eyes again to avoid looking at the whoosh of trees to either side of the highway. 
> 
> I lol’d. It’s pretty fun to see Bella just roll over people, figuratively speaking.
> 
> The other thing about Luminosity is how much of it is just TALKING, especially in the second book. It’s kind of hilarious, actually – there are long stretches where it’s just chapter after chapter of characters standing around discussing stuff. This, too, is encouraging. The two chapters before this one, for example, are predominantly dialogue, but it’s nothing compared to what readers of Luminosity go through – and it honestly never bothered me.
> 
> Yeah, so, that's that. Sorry if that didn’t seem to lead to any sort of conclusion.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the latest chapters and keep finding the story unpredictable! But don't forget all about Meteor in case you go read Luminosity and like it more than this ... 💔 😭
> 
> ☄️


	25. Interlude, #2

When everyone assembled in the living room, I realized for the first time just how many people were now involved in all this. Sitting around the table, starting from my left, were Lexi, Lee, Anna, Stefan (I had deliberately chosen a seat opposite to him, knowing he wouldn’t like what I was about to say), Caroline, Jenna, Jeremy, and Zach. Counting myself, that made nine people in total, seven of them vampires.

And it _felt_ different. It was now a group, not a couple of friends.

Lexi must have noticed me being uncomfortable. Before I could say anything, she had begun talking in my stead. She explained the deal I had made with Anna, the resulting moral dilemma, and why there was no easy solution. Then, she got to the plan.

“Elena looks like Katherine, so if she wakes up the tomb vampires, they’ll think Katherine has come to save them. They probably know Katherine doesn’t give a shit about humans, so they have no reason to lie to her. Elena can use this to figure out if they’re bad guys. If not, we let them go. But if they are...”

“You’ll kill them,” said Jenna. It was not a question; she knew what I was planning, but she seemed utterly horrified by the idea. “You... want to kill... what, like... half of the vampires down there? A dozen?”

“I’ll kill them,” said Stefan. “Elena only needs to talk to them. Once she has decided that they need to die-”

“You’ll do no such thing.”

Once again, everyone was looking at me.

“I’ve already made you kill your own brother. And this time, I’m the reason the problem exists. Katherine has attacked our home, because of me. Jenna and Caroline have been turned against their will, because of me. Anna offered us her help, because of me. My deal. My responsibility.”

This, of course, was not the real reason. The real reason was that Stefan had a horrible past, and I would not let him do anything with a risk of making him snap back.

 _I won’t say it,_ I thought as I looked anywhere but at him, _because Anna and Zach may not know, and even Jeremy, Jenna, and Caroline don’t quite know how bad it was. But I’ll_ _rather go insane than let you kill anyone else._

“I don’t know about Jenna,” said Caroline, “but I was going to turn anyway. I’ve said I wanted to turn with you when you told me, remember? And I _love_ being a vampire. Minus the sunlight stuff.”

“Point taken. But what I said still stands.”

“But even if you’re right, you _can’t_ do this,” said Caroline. “Okay, just – listen, alright? You’ve never held up well under stress, and now that you’ve turned, it’s clearly gotten worse.”

“Do you really think she doesn’t know that herself?” asked Lexi in my stead.

“Well, if she does, then why suggest something so crazy?”

“Because it needs to be done,” I said. “Unless you – or anyone else – has a better plan. Better for the greater good,” I added, “ _not_ better for me.”

“I think you can do it,” threw Jeremy in unexpectedly. “Just look at everything she’s done in the past weeks, Caroline. I think she’s proven that she can handle more than you think.”

“Well, I don’t,” said Caroline. “Making plans while everything’s still great is not the same thing as keeping your shit together when things get serious. And she might have had ideas, but Stefan is the one who’s done the hard work.”

“Having the ideas _was_ the hard part,” said Jeremy. “Otherwise, any other vampire could have done the same. And of course Elena didn’t do it herself; she’s only been a vampire for a day.”

“Imagine he does the killings for me,” I said to Caroline. “I wake up a vampire, I talk to them, I decide whether they die and then cover my eyes and let Stefan kill them. That’s just pathetic.”

“I wouldn’t think you’re pathetic,” said Stefan. “And shouldn’t I get to decide that? Listen, when I killed Damon, it wasn’t because you’ve asked me to, it was because it was the right thing to do. All you’ve done is show me what I’ve been too much of a coward to admit to myself. You didn’t do anything wrong. You don’t have to make up for anything.”

“You’re not killing a dozen vampires for me,” I said icily, still without looking at him.

“It wouldn’t be for you,” he held against me. “It would be to save the people they would kill if they went free.”

“No. The bad vampires will die either way because _I’m going to kill them_. So if I let you do it instead, you _wouldn’t_ do it to save anyone else – those people are save either way – you would be doing it for me. And I won’t let you do that.”

“So what if we let you try,” said Caroline, “and you just – I don’t know – have a mental breakdown?”

“Then, we’ll wait for me to get over my breakdown and get back to the job. There are only twenty-five vampires I have to talk to, and we can stay there the entire night. There’ll be plenty of time for a breakdown or two.”

“What will we do with the vampires you save?” asked Lee.

“Elena would only give them a little bit of blood, so they’re not strong enough to fight,” responded Lexi. “They’ll stay with us until the job is done. Afterward... well, that’s why we only release the good ones.”

“You don’t actually support this plan,” said Stefan, “do you? Caroline is right. You know that.”

That hurt. It was perhaps the first time ever that Stefan had said something to hurt me. I tried my best not to cry – if I did, that would not at all support my case.

Lexi stood up, walked over to my seat, and put a hand on my shoulder. Almost involuntarily, I put my hand above hers.

“I think,” said Lexi, “that you should let her _try_ rather than tell her she’s not capable. If she really can’t do it, we’ll see soon enough, and _then_ you can take over for her.”

I could feel her interlocking her fingers with mine.

“Why should you get to decide this?” asked Stefan. “Why not me?”

I bit my lip.

“You know why,” I whispered. I wanted to look at him now, but I was too much of a coward to do it. There was a fine line between protecting someone’s secret and still telling the truth. I was okay with stating reasons that weren’t the primary one, but now that he had asked me directly, I couldn’t say anything else.

“What about Anna?” asked Stefan, his voice not revealing any emotional reaction. “She was around in 1864, and her mother’s in there, so she has a good reason to open the tomb. She could-”

“Oh no,” said Anna, and my eyes flickered toward her face, “I’m not killing anyone. That was not part of the deal.”

“Now you’re just being unreasonable, Stefan,” said Lexi. “Look. We both know this is an Elena-plan, right? I mean, no other person I know would have come up with something like this. Do you think that without her-”

“Yes,” Stefan cut her off, “Elena’s the smartest person here, but that doesn’t mean-”

“Then, let her do this. It’s her plan. And if you don’t like it, she’s told you that you can come up with a better one.”

“I _have_ ,” said Stefan stubbornly. “We do everything as you described, except I kill the vampires and not her. Alright? That _is_ a better plan.”

 _YOU KNOW WHY YOU CAN’T_ , screamed a voice in my head, _WHY DO YOU KEEP FIGHTING OVER IT?_

 _Because he loves me,_ responded a second voice, _and he’s willing to risk it to spare me the pain. He’s not thinking about the people who will die if he goes back to being a ripper. I’m more important to him than they are. But he’s wrong. Whatever pain I feel can never compare to the lives that will be lost if he slips.  
_

“Even if I agreed to that,” I now said quietly, “it would still be the most traumatizing experience of my life. You can’t save me from that, Stefan. I would still have to wake them up, look into their faces, and decide they’re too dangerous to be left alive. I’m not convinced that putting a stake into their heart is really the hardest part.”

“That’s because you’ve never done it.”

“Maybe. But you can always step in if I decide that I can’t do it alone.”

Finally, I gathered the courage to look at him – and, just barely noticeable, he nodded.

“For the record,” said Caroline, “I still think you’re crazy.”

“Noted,” I murmured. “Thanks for the extra motivation. And for being honest.”

“What do we do with the vampires we’ve saved after we’re done?” asked Anna. “Where do they stay?”

I turned to look at Zach. I wasn’t the only one.

“If you want them to adapt well,” added Anna, “I don’t think leaving them to find their own place is a good idea.”

“I’ve never wanted to have anything to do with vampires,” said Zach. “But here I am.” He held out both arms, and the implication was clear: he was surrounded by vampires. “I suppose I can hardly say no and let them find a home to break into. But this house can’t host unlimited numbers of people, and I’m not sharing my bedroom with anyone. It’s your job to figure out how to house these people, Stefan.”

“They’ve just been in a cave for a hundred years,” said Jeremy. “I think they’ll be fine if it’s a bit crowded.”

“Maybe,” said Lexi, “but you probably wouldn’t want to sleep in the same room with any of them.”

“If we’re discussing practicalities now...” I pulled a folded sheet of paper out of my purse, which Lexi took as her cue to return to her seat. Before all this, I had copied some of the notes I had made during our stay at the hotel – I didn’t want anyone to read the rest of the page in my diary. “There’s stuff we need to get done until then.” I pushed the sheet over the table to Stefan. “Most importantly, we need Lexi’s friend – can’t do it without a witch – and we need to decide who does and doesn’t come along. I think it would be unwise to have a human around since we might be releasing underfed vampires, and even in the best case-”

“You want me to stay home?” said Jeremy. “No way, Elena.”

“Jeremy, there’ll-”

“If _you_ can stomach it, then I can, too. Come on.”

“It’s not about your nerves, Jer,” said Lexi. “It’s about the vamps we free. Remember that the plan is to only give them a little bit of blood. That means they’ll still be underfed. Having you around would be like dangling a snack right in front of their faces, which they’re not allowed to take.”

“Good,” said Jeremy, ”then we’ll find out if they’re serious about not harming anyone, right? And you’ll be there to protect me. If they’re weak, I’m sure you can easily-”

“That’s _torture_ , Jeremy,” I said sharply. “Maybe not comparable to what they’ve been through before, but still. We’re not putting them through that. It’s completely out of the question.”

“Then, just give them more blood right away.”

“ _No._ There is a reason why I’ve decided not to do that. What if one of them has someone they care about down there, and they’re smart enough not to tell me when I question them? What do you think they’ll do if I’m about to stake the love of their life, and we’ve been stupid enough to feed them to full strength?”

“There’ll be enough vampires there to protect you. Lexi, Anna-”

“ _That’s a fucking ridiculous argument,”_ I snapped. “We’re not trading off real security for your personal feelings. We wouldn’t do that for anyone’s feelings. Don’t be an idiot.”

Too late, I remembered that heightened anger was another part of the transition.

“Sorry,” I murmured. “I’m a newborn and don’t have my emotions under control. But what I’ve said is still true.”

“Fine,” murmured Jeremy, “I’ll stay here.”

“Good. Well – I think we should have at least one vampire here to protect you and Zach. Just in case Katherine tries the same thing she pulled at my home. Zach said he never invited her in, so she can’t enter the house herself, which means having just one vampire is _probably_ safe.”

“I’ll stay,” said Lee at once. “I don’t want to see it. I know you’ll want to be there for Elena,” he said to Lexi, who nodded. The two exchanged a brief kiss.

“Do you think you can protect them by yourself if Katherine uses humans to break in?” I asked Lee, who nodded. “Alright. Thank you. In that case, everyone else can decide whether they want to come or not. Although,” I added, “none of you can stay in the tomb itself since the vampires I wake up can’t be allowed to see you. But you can stay in hearing range.”

“Guys, think about this before you decide to come along,” said Lexi. “It sounds cool and all, but it’ll really mean standing around in a room for an hour, or more, just listening to Elena interrogate vampires. You won’t even be able to watch. Doesn’t sound like fun, does it?”

“You’ll come, won’t you?” I asked Anna. “Theoretically, you could also wait until we’re done with everyone else.”

“No way,” said Anna. “if you go inside, I’ll be there. I don’t care if I have to wait a few hours doing nothing.”

“I didn’t think you would. But that means our two strongest vampires will be there,” I said to everyone else. “So, there’s no need to come along to help protect us. You really do have a choice here. Stay here with Lee, Jeremy, and Zach, or come with us to the tomb.”

“This list says nothing about clothes,” said Caroline abruptly, who must have taken the notes I had given to Stefan when he was done reading them. “Do you think these people want to stay in the clothes they’ve worn for over a century?”

“Good catch,” said Lexi. “One of us should go and buy a ton of outfits tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” I echoed, “good catch. Money won’t be an issue, so whoever goes doesn’t have to worry about finding something cheap.”

“Have you talked to your witch?” asked Stefan, addressing Lexi.

“Yes,” said Lexi, “I’ve called her. She’s agreed to help, as long as we can guarantee her safety.”

“Then,” said Stefan, “when do you want to do it, Elena?”

“If we can arrange it, tomorrow night. I’ve promised Anna it would take at most a week, but it was in the spirit of doing it as early as possible. Of course, since she’s in Georgia, it might not be practical for-”

“There are flights,” interrupted Anna. “She can be here by tomorrow night if she wants to.”

“I can ask,” said Lexi. “But not right now – it’s still the middle of the night. And I imagine you would have to pay for the plane tickets.”

“If it helps,” I murmured, “offer her ten thousand dollars on top of whatever the tickets cost, as a thank you and as compensation for coming on such short notice. As I said, money isn’t an issue.”

* * *

“I know you’re stronger now,” I said to Isobel when I returned to her cell. “Don’t try to attack me. I’m not the only vampire in this house, and if you hurt me, _they will kill you_. Got it?”

When I had mentioned Isobel’s demands to Stefan, Anna (who had overheard it) had volunteered to look for the books in question. I had made it clear that she was under no obligation to run errands for us, but she had said she didn’t mind.

“It’s not like I can do shit anyway on animal blood,” murmured Isobel.

“Probably not, but it wouldn’t help you even if you could.”

“Yeah, I got it.”

I unlocked the door, opened it, and put the three books inside. Without turning around, I walked a few steps backward, knelt down, and felt for the rolled-up mattress behind me. I grabbed it and tossed it into the cell. Next, even though Isobel hadn’t asked for it, I threw a thin blanket on top of it. Throughout this, Isobel had stayed at her end of the cell, not making any attempt to run or attack me.

Finally, I shut the door.

“I believe that was everything.”

Isobel picked up the books and threw a brief look at their covers.

“Thanks,” she said.

“Why does Katherine want the tomb vampires dead?”

“You know, I have everything I need now,” said Isobel. She unrolled the mattress onto the cell’s floor. “I think you need to offer me human blood to tempt me.”

“You just don’t seem to get this thing about security.”

“What would calling a human even do? Now that you’re a vampire...”

“‘What would you do to break out, Elena?’” I said, impersonating Isobel. “‘Well, Isobel, here are the precise steps I would take if I were in your situation and had access to human blood.’ ‘Oh, thanks, Elena, that’s very helpful.’ ‘No problem, Isobel, I love helping my prisoners escape.’”

“... you think you’re really clever, don’t you?” asked Isobel.

“I think I’m smarter than you,” I said honestly, but I regretted my previous response already.

_It’s possible she hasn’t considered ways that access to human blood might help her escape, and if that’s true, I might have just given her ideas. This was stupid._

_Maybe I’ve done it to deal with the fear and anger..._

As soon as I thought this, I felt a feeling of shame. I didn’t want to be someone who punished others for problems they had nothing to do with – not even if those others were Isobel.

 _Sorry,_ I murmured in thought only. I wouldn’t say anything. Mistake or not, I still wasn’t willing to open up to her. _And I still expect we’ll have to kill you. Building up an emotional bond with you now would be one of the stupidest things I could do._

“I don’t think I need to offer you human blood,” I said after what had been a very long delay. “I think all I need to do is wait until you run out of animal blood.” And with that, I pulled down the hatch.

* * *

Not long after that, I was lying in bed, so tired that I knew I was running the risk of falling asleep momentarily. It had been a long, long day. I barely registered it when Stefan crawled into bed next to me.

“I need to brush my teeth,” I murmured. “But I don’t wanna stand up...”

“You don’t,” said Stefan.

“What?”

“You don’t have to brush your teeth anymore. You’re a vampire. We can’t get caries. It’s impossible.”

“... oh.” Somehow, hearing that cut through the tiredness. “That’s so messed up.”

Stefan laughed quietly.

“I would have never realized this if you hadn’t told me. This means that yesterday, Caroline and I both brushed our teeth for the last time ever. Fuck...”

“You’ve also started swearing,” said Stefan.

“Um... I have?”

“In the two months I’ve known you, I’ve heard you say ‘fuck’ perhaps ten times, and don’t forget that I’ve watched you months before we’ve met. You’ve probably doubled that since yesterday.”

I needed a while to digest that. The truth was that I wouldn’t have noticed this, either, and it was downright uncanny. It wasn’t that I considered it important (some people swore a lot, others never, and I had never thought much of it either way), but I was supposed to, at least, _notice_ it when things happened to me.

“It’s scary,” I whispered. “Turning just does things to you. In the beginning, I thought it was less extreme than I had expected. Aside from the bloodthirst – but even then, it’s only bad if it’s out in the open. I could manage a normal conversation with Lexi and Anna. But since I’ve gotten back... I think it was just because Lexi is so nice to me, and Anna is so dispassionate in general...”

“Sorry for earlier,” murmured Stefan.

“You did it because you love me.” I reached out with a hand, touching his face. Then, I kissed him. He returned the kiss, and I felt a heat behind my face. My kiss became needier...

Then, he pushed me away, and within seconds I realized what I might have been about to do.

I tried to keep my breathing steady. I knew how deceiving the walls were. Even I occasionally heard people from other rooms, and I knew that my hearing was nowhere near that of Lexi, let alone that of Anna.

“Thank you,” I whispered. At the same time, I felt like something I badly wanted had been taken away from me.

I scooted closer to him, and he put an arm around me. This was our normal sleeping posture, and even still...

“You’re still dressed.”

I barely managed not to swear again. Without standing up, or even opening my eyes, I stripped out of my clothes one piece at a time and threw them across my side of the bed.

“Promise me,” I whispered afterward, “that you won’t interfere unless I ask you to.”

No response.

“Promise,” I urged.

“I promise.”

* * *

The coming day was not fun. I awoke with fragments of a nightmare in my head (about Stefan turning back to his old habits, as if that were something I needed to worry about now), and found out that Lexi’s friend Bree was already here. I barely made it a minute in her company, then I retreated into my room.

I felt a paralyzing fear that made it extremely difficult to do anything. Over and over again, I went over the prospect of actually murdering other vampires, and wondered just how quickly I would lose any semblance of self-control. I avoided everyone else on the pretense of having time to think about it, and yet got preciously little done. Before long, sunset was only a few hours away – then, it was one hour – and then, Stefan came into my room and told me it was time to go.

Everyone but Jeremy, Zach, and Lee had chosen to come with us. Stefan, Anna, Jenna, and I drove in one car, and Lexi, Bree, and Caroline in the other. Throughout the drive, the only thing I could think of was how horribly unprepared I felt. Shortly upon waking up, I had compiled a list of all the items I would need in the tomb. That had taken me about ten minutes, and it was just about the only useful thing I had accomplished all day. It felt as if I had done the bare minimum, not as if I had prepared in meticulous detail, _which would be the smart thing to do_ given the size of the problem ahead.

I should have spent more time on the story that I would tell the vampires I interrogated. I should have spent more time thinking about how I would react if they didn’t say what I expected them to say. I should have explored different directions and prepared for them all.

I had done none of those things.

Soon, I would have killed the first vampire, and I would be a wreck.

And the vampire... they would spend an eternity in perfect loneliness. Wandering the world by themselves, forever. It was a little bit like hell, wasn’t it? Certainly, it was far worse than death. I had no idea what I had been thinking, back when I had argued that we should purge the tomb for the sake of the vampires we killed. Lexi had known. When I had first told her, she had immediately questioned the idea that the afterlife was preferable to death. Because, of course, it wasn’t. Most people’s happiness was so dependent on the presence of others that solitary confinement was considered a terrible punishment even within a high-security prison. We were so afraid of loneliness that we would rather, much rather, have the company of convicted criminals than be by ourselves.

How could I have ever thought it was a good idea to give everyone vampire blood? It was madness. Eventually, all of us would die, and we would suffer for eternity... we were so much worse off than humans... and I had done this to Jenna and Caroline, and to myself.

And now I would do it to so many more people.

I had to call off the mission. Nothing could be worth what I was about to do. I hadn’t thought it through. I hadn’t made the proper utilitarian calculation. We should have thought of another way. We should still think of another way. We should move the bodies and leave them unconscious, in a coma, protect them from the horror that was the afterlife.

I felt the car slowing down. In my entire life, I had never noticed so little of my surroundings during a drive. I realized I was in the passenger’s seat. If someone had covered my eyes a minute ago, I couldn’t have told them as much. When Stefan turned off the engine, I felt myself loosen my seat belt and step out of the car.

I knew I wouldn’t really call off the plan. Not that I had the authority, anyway. If I backed out, they would probably just kill everyone except for Pearl. But that was an excuse. I wouldn’t call off the plan even if I could. I had committed to it, I had decided that it was right, and now it was time.

I didn’t know if it was a mistake. I didn’t know if I was a monster for doing it. I couldn’t tell anymore. It felt like it now. It hadn’t felt like it earlier. I couldn’t tell.

I didn’t know.

Numbly, I followed Stefan down a staircase and into the tomb’s entrance hall. On the other side, a part of the wall was visibly disconnected from the rest. A five-pointed star was engraved into it.


	26. The Tomb

“It’s behind that thing?” asked Caroline once everyone had assembled in the entrance hall.

“Yes,” said Bree. “But this is just a piece of rock. You can move it.”

Stefan and I had been here before. Since the place wasn’t particularly hidden and had existed since before 1864, it was a safe bet that regular people had stumbled upon it at some point. This, I had reasoned, meant that the area protected by the barrier couldn’t possibly include the entrance hall. I had still avoided getting too close to the wall, though, just in case.

I tried to ask for confirmation that it was safe, but it was as if I had lost my voice. I had to clear my throat and try again.

“The barrier only begins behind it?” I managed. “We wouldn’t want anyone to get trapped in between it and the wall.”

I felt as if I had already killed someone. I wasn’t sweating, but my entire body _felt hot,_ and the burning in my throat extended almost seamlessly into my arms and chest. It was a bit like the feeling of nervousness, only far more intense.

But Bree either didn’t notice or was hiding her reaction. She only nodded, which Lexi took as her cue to step up to the piece of rock. Her arms were just barely long enough to grab it on both sides. I covered my ears as she pulled it backward; the screeching of stone dragged across stone was _very_ loud. Once it was out of its hole, Lexi moved it to the side and leaned it against the wall.

Now exposed was a dark tunnel leading further into the ground.

Bree held out a hand, and Anna gave her the amulet. The witch touched it with two fingers, held them there for a while, then pulled back.

“Done. The spell is lifted.”

“You sure?” asked Lexi.

“I’m sure.”

Lexi stepped in front of the tunnel. “Wish me luck.” She took a few steps inside, then turned around on the spot and made it back into the hall with no apparent difficulty.

“It worked,” said Anna. The excitement in her tone was unmistakable.

“Here,” said Stefan to Lexi, handing her a sizable battery-powered uplight lamp. Lexi took it and disappeared back into the hole. A few seconds later, I could see light coming out of the tunnel. Previously, I had imagined it leading far away from the entrance hall and deep underground, but the fact that I could see the light from here proved otherwise.

I stepped over to Jenna, who was holding up a laptop. It showed footage of the three cameras Stefan had installed outside weeks ago, and Jenna switched between them while I was looking. The only thing out of place was the pair of cars we had arrived in. Yesterday, we had also asked Jenna to verify the footage taken between now and a few hours before my abduction, and, according to her, neither Katherine nor anyone else had visited the place.

“Is she there?” I heard Anna say, and I turned around. Lexi was back, and she shrugged.

“Don’t know. But there are exactly twenty-six bodies. I counted.”

Without saying anything in response, Anna made for the tunnel.

“If you want to see the tomb,” said Lexi to everyone, “now’s your first and only chance. Once Elena wakes up the first vampire, I don’t want anyone going near the tunnel.”

I threw a look at the others, just in time to see Caroline get moving. A moment later, Jenna put down her laptop and followed. At that point, I stared down at my feet and only dared to look up once I heard Stefan disappear as well.

Now, the only people left in the hall were Lexi, Bree, and me.

“I’ll stay, if you don’t mind,” said Bree.

“Of course,” said Lexi, “visiting the tomb’s optional. Come on,” she added toward me, and I followed her into the tunnel. As I had suspected, I could see into the room (that was now brightly lit) as soon as I turned around the corner.

The tomb was roughly circular, and the bodies of the vampires were spread out across the wall, some leaning against it, some lying on the floor next to it. In all but a single case, their skin looked unnaturally pale, a bit like Damon’s had looked after Stefan had killed him... but unlike with Damon, their blood vessels weren’t visible under their skin. These vampires had been starved, but they hadn’t been staked.

I noticed that there were never two together, no pair of lovers who had mummified arm in arm. Stefan had once said that every physical touch began to hurt as you ran short on blood...

That was good. It would make it easier.

Their clothes were still intact enough to hide their bodies, which I was grateful for.

Right now, with the tomb full of living people staring at the mummified vampires like items put on display, it was hard to feel a sense of threat. But the vampires weren’t dead, and I knew it would change once the operation began for real.

“Can we take pictures?” asked Caroline.

“Go nuts,” said Lexi, and I saw Caroline fish her phone out of her pocket.

“If you’re doing this anyway,” I whispered – inadvertently, but I knew Caroline would understand me anyway, “could you take a photo of each one? Please?”

“Um, yeah,” said Caroline, “sure.”

I took another look around. Everything seemed to be unnaturally pale and dull. It was as if time itself had slowly sucked the colors out of the room... in reality, it was probably the dust that had accumulated over the decades. Another thing that stood out was that the vampires were predominantly male; it was possible to tell that much even in their current state. I quickly counted and came up nineteen to seven.

Anna had already knelt down in front of a woman who must have been Pearl. Myself, I couldn’t imagine that I would want to stay with someone I loved while they were in this state, at least not if they were going to be back to normal in a few hours. But Anna didn’t look like she had any intention of leaving her mother’s side.

I went back to looking at my feet while everyone was walking around, and I heard the sounds of Caroline taking picture after picture with the camera of her phone. There were things I had to do, but I didn’t want to do them yet, not now while everyone was here...

I noticed Lexi appearing next to me. Almost involuntarily, I took a step closer to her, and she put an arm around my shoulder. Neither of us said a word as we waited. After a while, I decided to close my eyes. Somehow, I didn’t want to look at them too much before it all started.

“Alright,” said Lexi sharply, “visiting hour’s over. Out with you all.”

I opened my eyes, blinking at the unpleasantly bright light. No-one protested Lexi’s directions, and they all left, except for Anna, who simply remained next to Pearl.

Now, I no longer had an excuse.

“Alright,” I murmured. With shaking hands, I took off my backpack and produced one of my diaries. “Okay...” I had to swallow before I continued. “First things first – Sheila has given us five names of vampires who have been seen murdering people. This was weeks ago, way before we even knew what we were going to do with the tomb. That’s Kye, Angletta Olsen, Ramsey, Harper, and David. We only have one last name, so there could be duplicates.”

“Harper?” asked Anna, the first word out of her mouth since she had laid eyes on her mother.

“Yeah... and Sheila said he was black – that would be him.” I pointed in the direction of the only vampire in the room whose skin didn’t look like crumpled paper, the same one who had stood out earlier.

Then, I looked back at Anna, who was staring at me, biting her lip.

“You know him,” I said, and she nodded.

“My mother turned him after he was fatally wounded in the war. He was a soldier, and he’s a good person. I didn’t think...”

I sighed.

“It’s all anecdotal, Anna,” I said weakly. “Sheila just relayed to me what the spirits happened to remember and tell her. Are you certain he’s never murdered – ever?”

Anna shook her head.

“Well, then he must have been unlucky enough to be seen one of the few times that he did. But if you want him to live...”

“I said I wouldn’t get involved.”

“Fuck that. Do you want him to live?”

Perhaps I was compromising on my morals, but I was eager to kill one fewer person, to delay the moment of the first murder, and to tighten my bond with the oldest vampire I had ever met.

Anna nodded.

“Good, then he’ll live.”

“Thank you,” said Anna. “We’ll take care of him, mother and I. He won’t kill anyone else.”

I stepped over to him but then hesitated. He had been withering away for a hundred and forty-five years... might his body have become so brittle that I could break it? I wasn’t quite sure if this was a silly thing to worry about, but I had never asked...

“Um,” I made. “... Lexi?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think it’s... safe... to carry him? It won’t, like... injure him?”

“No,” said Lexi, “our bodies hold together even when we starve. You won’t rip out his arm if you drag him.”

“Right,” I said hoarsely, “thanks.”

I turned back to face him, then pulled at his arm experimentally. When nothing happened, I heaved his body over my shoulder. He left behind a cloud of dust, the tiny particles dancing around in the light.

“I thought you wanted to wake them up right now,” said Anna as I carried him back through the tunnel.

“We wanted to wake them up so that Elena can talk to them,” said Lexi. “There’s no point now.”

She followed me into the entrance hall, where everyone else was waiting.

“This one lives,” I said, even though they would have all heard the conversation, “by request of Anna. He’ll be the only one we don’t have to wake up. Just leave him here until we’re done.”

“I’ve opened the tomb,” said Bree before I could turn back around. “The seal is broken – it won’t close again. Can I go?”

“Right,” I said, “of course you can. That was the plan.”

“I’ll take her back to the boarding house,” said Lexi. “Anyone who doesn’t like the idea of staying in this room from now until Elena’s done, _without going outside or setting another foot into the tunnel,_ should come with us now.”

No-one reacted.

“Your call,” said Lexi, “but don’t complain about it later. It’s now or never.” She waited a few more seconds, then stepped over to give me a hug. “Good luck, Elena. I’ll be back before long.”

I only nodded.

When Lexi left, I somehow felt a little more alone than before. Perhaps it was because I was still avoiding eye contact with Stefan. I knew he still didn’t want me to do this.

I turned around and went back through the tunnel. By the time I arrived in the tomb, I felt tears in my eyes.

And I hadn’t done anything yet. Perhaps I would simply be unable to go through with the plan. Even with Harper and Pearl out the way, there were still twenty-four vampires in total. Twenty-four.

I shuffled over to my backpack. It took me only half a minute, then everything was set – everything, except for myself.

I looked back at Anna, who was still kneeling beside Pearl’s mummified body.

“Go,” I whispered. “You know the plan. Take your mother out of here.”

Our eyes met, and for a moment, I expected her to come and simply take the blood from me. But then, she nodded.

“Good luck,” she said. “I hope you can make it.” The doubt in her voice was unmistakable. I said nothing and only watched as she picked up Pearl’s body and left through the tunnel.

I turned off the light. My eyes were just barely good enough to see in the resulting darkness, but if I gave them little enough blood, none of the vampires I was about to wake ought to be able to do the same. That was good. The plan was to make each one believe that they were the first to be woken up.

Though... even in a weakened state, vampires could still hear about as well as humans did. Previously, as I had expected a longer tunnel, I hadn’t thought much about it. But now...

I sat still, I didn’t know how long it was, until I trusted my voice to sound normal. Then, I returned to the hall.

“You have to be quiet,” I said to everyone. “As far as the vampires I wake up are concerned, there shouldn’t be anyone here who isn’t mummified. So you just have to be really quiet. I’ll only give them a little bit of blood, so you can whisper, but _only_ whisper. If there’s something to discuss, come to me in between two vampires. Got it?”

Stefan and a few others nodded.

“Although,” I added, “never mind this in case of an emergency. If Katherine comes or something, you can be as loud as you want. Just stay quiet as long as things go according to plan.”

“What about the laptop?” asked Jenna.

“Pretty sure that’s fine. We’ll see if someone can hear it, but I don’t think so.”

I turned around before anyone else could say something to me.

My eyes trailed across the walls. _Perhaps,_ I thought, _perhaps it’s good that I can’t see better. This way, it’s almost random whom I choose._

And so, seeing only a dark outline against the wall, I chose my first target. In coming closer, I saw that he was a man. I dragged him back to the center of the room to make sure that he wouldn’t be able to see anyone else. With that done, I realized I would have to move my backpack, too – there was blood inside, and, bottled up or not, it was foolish to leave it next to a hungry vampire. I carried it back to the tunnel entrance, then I returned to the center. But I couldn’t do it. Not yet. I was still crying, and my voice still wasn’t steady. Both of those things needed to change. I couldn’t cry while impersonating Katherine.

I sat down next to the mummy, closed my eyes, and waited. It took a while, and every time I thought I had calmed down enough to proceed, I remembered just what that would mean, and it got worse yet again. I realized that everyone else would know that I hadn’t done it yet, that they were probably beginning to wonder whether I would even be able to talk to a single vampire, let alone twenty-four. Thinking about that did not make things better.

I felt sick. I had to lay down. I felt my heart hammering in my chest. It was so loud. Maybe the others could hear it from the entrance hall.

What would they think if we aborted the mission without me having spoken to a single vampire? What would we do then? Kill everyone? I imagined what that would feel like. To have planned the expedition, to have bet against people twenty times my age, and then to fail so miserably. To fail after Lexi had stood up to me.

And disappointing Lexi was something I couldn’t allow to happen. It would be worse than disappointing Stefan because Stefan had failed before, and he would understand. But Lexi... no, I couldn’t disappoint her, I just couldn’t.

Even worse were the vampires themselves. Given what I had seen so far, it was reasonable to expect that most of them were cruel and stupid and deserved to die. But there were twenty-four, and somewhere among them, there could easily be – no, there were likely to be – at least a few who were entirely innocent, and I couldn’t send them to an eternity of emptiness. I had a moral responsibility. I owed it to them to do this.

But I couldn’t.

I turned my attention to my heartbeat. It hadn’t slowed down. Moreover, now that I paid attention to it, I noticed I was once again crying.

How long had it been? Five minutes? Ten? Probably something in between. And I hadn’t made any progress. If anything, I had gotten worse.

I rolled onto my other side. I was doing it wrong. I couldn’t think about all the reasons why I wasn’t allowed to fail. That way, I would never get better. I had to think about... about what? Stefan? No, he was up there, waiting for me to do something. Lexi? No, that only reminded me of why I couldn’t allow myself to fail. But who else? Everyone I loved was right here, and they were all waiting for me to do something. Only Jeremy was at home, and he would be just as disappointed as everyone else if I failed. He, too, had believed in me.

I sobbed. I was getting worse. Worse, not better. I pressed my lips together. I couldn’t make a sound. The others couldn’t know how bad I felt. But who was I trying to trick here? They had all heard it. They were vampires. There wasn’t even a wall between us. They might as well stand right next to me.

I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to focus on my breathing. But I didn’t manage to do it for long – soon, my thoughts drifted off once again, drifted to Lexi, to the vampires around me... and I was too exhausted to try and stop them...

Time passed. A lot of time. Too much. How long before someone would look down here and see what I was doing? How long before Anna decided that this wasn’t going to work and demanded to give her mother blood immediately?

But my breathing had become a bit steadier. Perhaps just a few more minutes...

Then, I heard the sound of a car from above. Lexi had returned already. How long had it been?

I heard her turn off the engine and enter the hall. Then, I heard her whisper.

“Has she...?”

I only now realized that no-one else had spoken a word until now. I didn’t hear a response, either. I imagined Stefan just shaking his head.

I could feel the panic as a pulsating heat inside my chest. Perhaps it was out of spite of some sort, but this time, I resolved to feel it. I focused on the sensation, almost to the exclusion of everything else. I didn’t want to think. I didn’t want to be reminded of how things were going even more poorly than I had feared.

I kept my attention there as the minutes crept by. But it wasn’t that strong anymore. Had I calmed down, somehow? I swallowed and paid attention to how my throat felt. The familiar feeling that signaled incoming tears was almost entirely absent.

Not questioning my luck, I decided at once to do it now. I sat up and grabbed the flask with human blood, holding my breath as I opened the lid. I had to look around to find the vampire, even though he was still right next to me.

I held the flask onto his lips and tilted it.

It happened almost immediately. The man was moving, his lips twitching around the flask’s neck, and color returned to his face in real-time. Then, he opened his eyes.

He swallowed two more times, then the flask was all but empty. It was small to begin with and only filled halfway. But it seemed to be enough.

He was young, just a bit older than me – and, now that his face was no longer pale as ash, he was rather handsome. His hair was dirty and had a touch of gray, but you could still see that it had once been a light brown, not unlike that of Stefan.

“Katherine,” he mouthed, the moment I retracted the item.

“What’s your name?” I asked.

So far, so good – my voice had sounded almost normal.

“You don’t recognize me?”

“The council has done things to me,” I lied. “Terrible things. I barely remember the faces of anyone in this hall.”

“Chester.”

“Last Name?”

“Francis.”

“Who turned you?”

The man laughed weakly. “You did, Katherine. You’ve really got it worse than us. I already remember... everything... it’s all there...”

“In 1864?”

“Yes. You said... you had something much less boring for me than my old life.”

I felt a shiver run down my spine. Although I had done well so far, the feeling in my throat was slowly returning. I knew I wouldn’t be able to control myself for much longer. I had to be quick.

“How did you escape?” he asked.

“Long story. I can’t compel people anymore.”

“What?”

“Yeah. I think it’ll come back, eventually, but right now, it doesn’t work anymore. Even if they’re not on vervain. I’ve brought someone to feed on, but you’ll have to kill her.”

He grinned.

“That’s never held us back before.”

And that was it. This was enough. I couldn’t give people second chances. This wasn’t ‘innocent until proven guilty’, it was ‘you better don’t give me a single bad sign, or I’ll put a fucking stake through your heart’.

I slid my right hand into my pocket and pulled out a vervain dart. When I stuck it into his neck, his body went limp almost immediately. I returned to the tunnel entrance, retrieving the stake I had hidden underneath my backpack. Then, I returned to the center, and I looked right into the face of the man I was about to murder, and my hands were shaking more than they had ever before, more than when I had been about to shoot Katherine...

My grip tightened so much around the weapon that I wondered if the wood would break. And then

I thrust the stake

where I hoped his heart would be

and it entered the skin like a knife cut into butter

the man made no sound. he didn’t spit blood. but his face turned pale and the blood vessels became visible under his skin and it was exactly as it had been with Damon and I knew that it had worked.

I had become a murderer.

I counted to ten, then pulled out the stake, trying my best not to look at it. But I looked at the man I had killed. The man, who was _not_ dead because vampires didn’t die. The man who had entered the afterlife, who was now without pain and thirst but all alone.

All alone. For the rest of eternity.

 _I hope you don’t suffer too much,_ I thought as I stared at his face. _I hope you can figure out how to deal with loneliness. No matter what you did, I don’t want you to suffer forever._

I looked down at my feet, trying to deal with the onslaught of guilt I felt as I internalized the full extent of what I had done. Then, I picked up his body and carried him into the entrance hall. But before I had even stepped out of the tunnel, Stefan came rushing at me. The body was taken off me, and then I was in his arms.

“You can’t do this, Elena. Look what it’s doing to you. You can’t.”

I heard my own voice respond as if I was standing beside both of us. It all felt like a dream.

“It was so easy to get him to confess. It would be selfish and cruel not to do this, I couldn’t live with myself.”

“Let me do it. You’re seventeen! You’re brilliant, but you can’t be asked to do _this_. Let me do it. You’ve seen how hard it is. Please!”

“No.”

“But you can barely stand. This is insane!”

“I can stand,” I heard my voice say. “It’ll get easier. And if not, you can take over later. We’ve been through this, Stefan. I will try until I can’t do it anymore. We’re not there yet.”

I broke his embrace. He let me go.

Numbly, I returned to the tomb and went through the steps to prepare for the next one. I wrote a note in my diary documenting his name and why I had chosen to kill him, refilled the flask, and hid the stake underneath the backpack.

 _Twenty-three to go,_ I thought. It might still as well be a hundred, or a thousand.

I walked over to the next vampire, the one who had been lying next to Chester. It was another man. Once again, I first dragged his body into the center of the room.

I focused on the feeling in my throat, which I knew to tell me how my voice was going to sound. To my relief, it didn’t take long for it to get better this time. The urge to cry diminished, and when it was close to gone, I felt capable of repeating the experience.

I held the flask onto his lips, just as I had done before. His eyes opened. He tried to lift his arms, perhaps to grab the flask himself, but he was too weak.

I pocketed the flask once it was empty. As of last time, it had been enough to bring color back into his face. He looked a bit older, though not much. His hair was just as short, but it was darker, and he had much rougher facial features.

“Didn’t think I would ever wake up from this,” he murmured weakly.

“What’s your name?”

“You’re the one who turned me. You know who I am.”

“While you’ve spent your time rotting away in this place, the council has done its own part on me. I don’t know if I’ll ever recover most of my memories.”

His eyes stared into mine. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

“Kye Wood,” he said. “What did they do?”

There was a pain in my chest, not unlike when I had mourned the loss of Bonnie. He had been named. I would almost certainly have to kill him.

“ _Don’t ask me that question ever again,_ ” I hissed, realizing with some relief that this, too, had sounded convincing. It was another part of the plan: instead of coming up with a story, just pretend it was so bad that Katherine didn’t want to talk about it. Who would ever want to question that?

“... sorry. How long... how long has it been?”

“Twenty years.”

 _I know you’ve killed,_ I thought, _so for you, I will make it harder. Anyone else, I’ll tell that it’s been longer, perhaps fifty years, so that direct revenge is out of the question. But if you want to live, you have to show me that you’re not interested in revenge, even if you think it’s possible._

“Are they still alive? Jonathan Gilbert? Giuseppe?”

“Both of them.”

“I need more blood. I need to be stronger... then, I’ll help you kill them. Them, and the entire rest of the bloody council.”

He didn’t say anything else. It was enough for me. He would never say anything else.

I retrieved the weapon at vampire speed, the moment I was sure he had passed out. This time, I didn’t hesitate before I staked him. Once again, I saw the blood vessels protrude from under his skin as the weapon cut into his heart.

I shuddered, knowing that the sight of it would haunt my dreams for weeks if ever I made it out of this place.

 _I hope you’ll do okay,_ I thought. _Don’t go mad with loneliness. Please don’t. I want you to regret your actions, but not to live in despair year after year._

_Twenty-two to go._

I carried him upstairs, then tossed his body onto the ground. The hall was full of people, but this time, no-one said a word to me.

I went back down.

I wrote a note in my diary.

I refilled the flask.

I approached the next body. It was yet another man. I dragged him into the center, just like the two vampires before him. When I held the flask onto his lips, he didn’t move at first, even as his face regained color. Only when the flask was almost empty did he open his eyes.

“You’ve come back,” he said as I took it away from his lips. “I didn’t think you would.”

“What’s your name?”

“Billy Price.” He looked at me, and somehow, just his stare told me that he wouldn’t leave this room alive. “Are you going to wake up everyone?”

“Yes.”

“You’re shaking.”

Was I? I realized that I should have waited a bit before waking him, but I hadn’t...

Well, if I was, I might as well make it part of the story.

“You don’t know what the council has done to me,” I whispered. “And if you know what’s good for you, don’t ask. Who turned you?”

“You’ve asked me that question before. Did you forget?”

“I’ve forgotten most of what happened in 1864. You would have, too, if you had been through what I’ve been through.”

“Ramsey turned me. Ramsey Nielson. You weren’t happy about it. You told him not to turn anyone. But you understood that it wasn’t my fault.”

I nodded. “I’ve just been out and tried to compel a human to follow me back here,” I said quietly. “It didn’t work.”

“People are still carrying vervain? How long has it been?”

“I don’t think it’s vervain. I think I can’t do it anymore. Compulsion no longer works.”

“You’re not strong enough to catch someone, either?”

“I am. But you would have to kill him. Would you?”

“Just do it. Bring him here. I would kill the entire town to get one more bite.”

“Good,” I said, “but you won’t.”

This time, I stuck the dart into his arm. I only left it there briefly; vervain in this form was valuable, and our supply was limited.

I retrieved the weapon.

I killed him. ( _I hope you’ll do okay.)_

My third murder. And it was getting easier. Much easier.

 _Twenty-one_ _to go,_ I thought as I returned upstairs.

“Are you sure you can do this?”

It was Caroline.

I said nothing. Right now, it was like I was in a trance. Everything felt so surreal that even the horrifying act of murdering another person didn’t shake me. And that was good. I was making progress. _Respond_ , I thought, _and it might break the spell_. I couldn’t risk it.

I went back into the tomb. I wrote a note in my diary. I prepared for the next, dragging his body into the center.

His eyes opened almost immediately when the blood began pouring into his mouth. He was the oldest one so far, probably in his forties. When I retracted the flask, he coughed. It took a while for him to collect himself, then he stared at me, breathing heavily.

“Tell me they’re still alive,” he said. “Tell me they’re still alive, so I can rip their hearts out myself.”

“Sorry. It’s been eighty years. They’re all dead.”

“Their families. The council. Are they still there?”

“You would kill their descendants for revenge?”

“If you haven’t done it already.”

My hand found the insides of my pocket. It was enough for me. But there were things left to find out.

“Tell me your name,” I said. “The council has done even worse things to me than the rest of you. I don’t remember most of your faces. Or names.”

“Jacob Mosley. Help me out, Katherine, and we can kill them together. We’ll kill them all.”

“I will. But tell me – who turned you, and when? Was it me? I don’t remember.”

“It was Pearl, in 1864.”

Without hesitating, I stuck the dart into his neck, then I retrieved the stake. It was so easy to drive it into his heart. Vampire skin was so soft, and I was so strong now.

I spoke the words _I hope you’ll do okay_ in my mind, even though I felt nothing.

_Twenty._

Suddenly, it didn’t seem like an impossibly large number anymore.

I carried the body into the hall, returned to the tomb, and wrote the entry. It had already become a routine. These vampires were all the same. Cruel. Vengeful. Stupid. They all needed to die, and I would see to it that they would.

I realized on the side that I was no longer feeling close to tears.

The next one was also a man, this one young, handsome, a bit like Chester, but with longer and darker hair. He groaned softly as he gulped down the blood. I noticed that it was a bit more than before – an accident on my part – but it shouldn’t be enough for him to become a serious threat.

“I knew you would come back,” he said. He was staring at me, and his gaze was different than that of the vampires before him. “I’ve told them all that you hadn’t betrayed us. I knew it. And I was right.”

“I’ve been held up,” I said. “The council has done things to me... _don’t ask_. But I’ve seemed to have suffered more permanent damage than you have. I don’t remember your name. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t... it’s Kelvin.”

“Last name?”

“Butler. You really don’t remember? You don’t remember turning me?”

I shook my head. “Sorry.”

“Maybe it’ll come back. We can heal through a lot. Do you have more blood?”

I shook my head again. “I can’t compel people anymore. That makes it more difficult.”

“But you’ve chosen to give it to me. Out of all the vampires in this room. I think you do remember some things, even if you don’t realize it.”

I looked at him. I knew this gaze. People had looked at me that way before; it was the way Stefan looked at me most of the time, and it was the way Lee looked at Lexi.

_You are in love with Katherine._

“I can try to capture someone,” I said. “But you’ll have to kill them.”

I shouldn’t say ‘them’, I realized. It was unlikely to be something Katherine would do. But Kelvin didn’t seem to notice.

“We don’t _have_ to. Bring someone here... let me feed off him... then, I can compel him.”

My hand that had already touched the vervain dart froze.

“If I do,” I said, “and you get your strength back, will you help me kill the people who have done this to me?”

“Gladly.”

“It’s been over fifty years. None of the people who have rounded us up are still alive. But there is still a council.”

“And they’ll die for what they’ve done to us, and to you.”

“Even the ones who haven’t done anything?”

“Are you defending them, Katherine? Aren’t they still hunting vampires?”

“They are.”

“Then, we have to kill them anyway, to protect our own.”

I lowered my gaze.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

“What are you-”

He didn’t get further. The additional blood didn’t make a discernible difference; as with everyone before him, his body went limp the moment the vervain was released into his system.

I retrieved the stake. I could taste my own blood as I bit my lip. Talking to someone with a modicum of compassion had broken the spell. It had reminded me that I didn’t know these people, that they might be innocent, that I _wanted_ them to be innocent, and that they had suffered, too.

But the stake still found its target.

_Nineteen more._

_I hope you’ll do okay,_ I thought, fending off the guilt as I looked down on his body. _God, I really hope you do. I hope it’s not as bad as I think._

He might not have been a bad person. It was normal to want revenge. But it wasn’t good enough. I couldn’t be soft. True kindness meant thinking about the nameless people whose lives would be lost if I was too soft now. He had expressed willingness to kill for revenge, to kill people who hadn’t done anything to him. And it wasn’t like this was a hypothetical. The council still existed.

And he had been in love with Katherine. There was no reason to lie to myself – the way he had looked at me was part of why I had chosen to do this. If I had freed him, I would have had to tell him that I wasn’t her, that she was the enemy. I had no idea what he’d do then, and that wasn’t a risk I was willing to take.

Once again, no-one said a word to me when I delivered the body. I deliberately avoided looking at anyone’s face. I didn’t want to see their uncertainty or their judgment. This had been my decision, and I would live with it.

When I approached the wall this time, I realized I had deviated from the plan. I had meant to choose one point and then work my way along the wall from there. Now, I had instead approached an entirely new spot.

I considered going back but decided against it, and simply dragged the first body I saw into the center. It was a woman, and as I held the flask onto her lips, I realized that she looked barely older than I was. And she was beautiful. Her bright hair that was now flat and dirty must have once been not unlike that of Caroline.

“Ramsey,” she murmured the moment I pulled the flask from her lips, “did you free him, too? Where is he? I can’t see...”

“I only have this much blood.”

“Didn’t you open the tomb? Can’t you get out?”

“I can.”

“Then, bring a human down here.”

It wasn’t a question – it was an order.

“We would have to kill him,” I said. “I can’t compel people anymore.” Suddenly, I got an idea. “No-one can,” I added. This was so much simpler, but I hadn’t thought of it until now. “We don’t know why. It just doesn’t work anymore.”

“When have you ever cared about that?”

“Don’t you care?”

“I _don’t._ Not now.”

 _And that,_ I thought, _means you die._ Love or not, if you weren’t willing to at least explore other options... it wasn’t good enough.

And Ramsey was on the list, which meant he would most likely die, too.

I nodded. “I’ll find someone. But please, tell me your name.”

“What?”

“The council has done things to me while you were trapped. Terrible things. If you think you had it bad, you have no idea. I’ve escaped, but I still haven’t recovered all of my memories. I don’t remember who you are.”

“I’m Victoria. You’ve turned me when Ramsey asked you to.”

“What are your last names?”

“Shaw. His is Nielson.”

“I’ll get you someone to feed on,” I said, then I hit her with the dart, right above her shoulder. This time, there was a moment when she realized what was happening, and her eyes widened, but even love could not protect her from the vervain.

 _It’s magical,_ I realized as I watched her head roll to the side. _Jenna said there’s basically no substance that won’t take at least a few seconds to knock out a human – and vampires should be harder, not easier. Whatever vervain does, it’s not natural._

I retrieved the stake and killed her. _I hope you’ll do okay,_ I thought as I pulled back the weapon with closed eyes. Somehow, I was more afraid of seeing the stake than her face.

_Eighteen._

After writing the entry, I once again approached a new spot entirely at random, and I ended up dragging another woman into the center. I took the flask and-

“Will we see it if Katherine comes here?” asked Caroline’s voice from the hall.

“We have the cameras,” responded Jenna’s voice.

“I know, but do they cover everything? Couldn’t she sneak by?”

They were _whispering_ , as I had asked them to, and I was sure I wouldn’t hear it as a human, which probably meant the vampires I woke up wouldn’t hear it-

“It covers an area around the entrance. Look.”

-but _I_ had supernatural hearing, which meant that _I could understand them from here._

“What if you’re not looking?”

“Caroline, looking at the footage is literally the only thing I’m doing.”

“I’m just worried... if she knows we’re down here...” This was followed by something too quiet for me to hear, _but I could still hear that she was talking even if I didn’t understand the words._

“We outnumber her,” whispered Jenna, “and we have Lexi and Anna.”

“Could you shut up, please?” I asked at normal volume.

For a few seconds, there was silence.

“Is it that distracting?” asked Caroline, now no longer whispering.

“Yes,” I said. “I know I said you could whisper, but – just – please don’t? Please? This is hard enough as-is.”

“Sorry,” said Caroline, “we’ll be quiet, I promise.”

I suppressed a sigh of relief. I had been afraid Caroline would protest, and the last thing I wanted was to get into an argument now.

Having heard them was a reminder that this was all real, and that there were other people close. It wasn’t good to be reminded of that. Even though I had dragged all the dead bodies into the hall, this was different.

I bit my lip and stared down at the woman.

It wasn’t so much that I felt close to crying now, but I felt as if I really didn’t want to do this. I felt as if I wanted to do _anything but this._

But I overrode the instinct, held the flask onto her lips, and poured. As the color returned to her face, I realized that she was the oldest person I had awoken so far, in terms of physical age. She looked to be over fifty.

“Katherine,” she murmured as I pocketed the flask. “You’ve really come back for us.”

“I’ve been held up,” I said. “Sorry for taking so long.”

I was now vividly aware that all of the others could hear every word of the conversation, which wasn’t helpful. I could only hope that the feeling of being observed would go away, that it would go back to feeling as it had before. It had been hard enough then, but now it was worse.

“We thought you didn’t care, or even wanted us dead,” said the woman. “I suppose I must thank you.”

She turned her head, but I hadn’t given her more blood than anyone before her, so she shouldn’t be able to see anyone but me.

“Where is everyone else? Did you already wake them up?”

“Not yet. I only have this much blood. You’re the first I’ve woken up. What’s your name?”

“Why would you have to ask me this?”

“The council has done things to me. Terrible things. Worse things than what you have experienced down here. I’m missing large parts of my memory, especially around 1864. I barely remember anyone.”

“My name is Emilia Benton. We’ve known each other for some time.”

“How old are you?”

“I was a hundred and ten when I was locked down here. What year do we have now? How long has it been?”

“1920,” I lied. “There’s been a change. Probably a spell. Vampires can no longer compel humans. Now, we have to kill if we want to feed.”

“Do we?” asked Emilia. “Why not knock someone out, then take blood from him?”

_Yes – why indeed?_

I realized I had forgotten about the possibility that she might live. In my mind, I had already accepted that I would have to kill her.

“Would you really go through the trouble?” I asked.

“The ‘trouble’?” echoed Emilia. “If you want to kill, Katherine, you can kill, but this is hardly an excuse.”

“If you made it outside, would you not kill? Even now?”

Emilia looked at me for several seconds before she answered.

“I would not.”

I hesitated. It was a good answer, but...

“Not even the people who imprisoned you?”

“I might,” said Emilia, “if they were still alive. I don’t imagine they are. You’ve said it’s 1920.”

“What about their descendants?”

“Their descendants didn’t lock us into the tomb, now, did they? It would be madness to punish someone for crimes their parents committed.”

I lowered my gaze.

“Sorry,” I murmured. “Everything I’ve told you was a lie. It’s not 1920, and I’m not Katherine. I don’t know anything about most vampires in this tomb, but I have to decide whether to let them live. I’ve tested you, and I guess you’ve passed.”

There was almost no change in her voice when she responded. Had she suspected something already?

“If I hadn’t, you would have killed me?”

“I value human life,” I said. “Too much to release a murderer into the world.”

“How many did you kill already?”

“Did any of them mean something to you?” I asked instead of responding.

“No.”

“Tell me the truth,” I said coldly. “I’m not alone.”

“I didn’t live in Mystic Falls. I barely knew any of them. None of them were important to me.”

I stood up.

“I don’t entirely trust you,” I said. “I’m sorry if I’m making a mistake here, but I’m a very careful person. I will give you a bit more blood so you can walk, but not enough to regain full strength. Not until I’ve dealt with everyone else in here. I hope you understand.”

“But you’ll let me live?”

“I will. If you’re not a murderer, we’re on the same side. All I want... all I want is for as few people to die as possible. Vampires or humans.”

I returned to the center of the room and, carefully, filled the flask to the brim, holding my breath as I did so.

Emilia opened her mouth obediently when I brought it to her lips.

“I understand,” she then said. She pulled herself into a sitting position, then turned her head around. “I see that many of us are still here,” she said, which proved that tripling the amount of blood was enough to make her see through the darkness. “Are you going to talk to them as well?”

I bowed my head. “You’re the first one I’ve left alive, but I hope you won’t be the last.”

“And you intend to play the same game with all of them?”

I nodded.

“Did you figure out what I was trying to do?” I asked. “Before I told you?”

“No,” said Emilia, and it was impossible to tell from her tone if that was the truth, or if she had realized in time that saying ‘yes’ wouldn’t be in her interest.

It was surreal – I was now casually talking to a vampire who was over a century old, and whom I would have killed by now if she had answered differently. Perhaps it was the fact that she didn’t show any sign of surprise or relief that made the situation feel so strange. It was hard to get a read on this person. I had no idea, for example, whether or not she approved of my actions.

I noticed that I was worried, but it was more the fear of having misjudged her than the fear of her hurting me. I knew Stefan would be down here in a second if she attacked me, and, given how little blood she had received (even including her second ration), I could probably beat her without help, too.

“How well do you know the others?” I asked.

“Barely,” said Emilia. “I am not from Mystic Falls. Most of these vampires have been turned by Katherine – who, I take it, is not your friend.”

“Anything useful you can tell me?” I asked without answering her implicit question. “Anyone you trust or mistrust?”

Emilia let a few seconds pass before she answered.

“There is a beautiful woman. Brown hair – at least back then – green eyes, just a bit older than you. I don’t know her name. She was not turned by Katherine, either. She is dangerous. I cannot see well enough to locate her right now, but I could examine the others if you want. I’m afraid that’s all the help I can offer.”

I thought about it but then shook my head.

“That’s alright,” I said. “I’ll know who it is when I wake her. I think you can wait upstairs with the others. _Stefan?”_

It took only a few seconds, then he appeared through the tunnel.

“You have to stay in the entrance hall,” I said to Emilia, “while I wake up the rest of the vampires down here. We have clean clothes, if you want. Once all this is over, you can have more blood, too.”

Emilia stood up.

“What’s your name?” she asked.

“Elena.”

“Thank you, Elena. I will do as you ask.”

“Are you...” Stefan looked at me. I could see the pain in his eyes.

“Fine. Let me continue this. Please.”

He said nothing, but he and Emilia made their way through the tunnel.

_Seventeen._

And we had finally found someone worth saving. Probably. Hopefully.

I could hear Stefan talking to Emilia from here, but I knew he was trying to be quiet. It was so indistinct that I would probably be able to ignore it. I certainly couldn’t understand the words.

This time, I wrote a much more detailed journal entry. Instead of merely documenting her name and the reasons for my decision, I tried to replicate the conversation at verbatim as best as I remembered it. Keeping a record of the vampires I killed was important, both for my conscience and to keep myself honest, but tracking the vampires I set free was what really mattered. Our relationship wasn’t going to end tonight; whatever was going to happen next, I would want to keep an eye on them in the future.

 _It took seven vampires to find someone who isn’t a monster_ , I thought as I dragged the next body into the center. It was a man with short brown hair, and when the color returned to his face, I estimated him to be around forty. He remained almost perfectly still while I fed him.

“Who are you?” he asked.

And that was probably a good sign.

“Katherine.”

“Katherine? They said you’ve betrayed us.”

“Not quite. Who are you?”

“Ethan Vance.”

“Who turned you?”

“Pearl. Where is she?”

“Still mummified. I’m sorry, but I don’t have more blood with me. I could bring someone here, but vampires have lost the power of compulsion. We would have to kill him.”

“I don’t care. I’ve never compelled my prey to run.”

It took me a moment to digest this. I could have ended it right here – I had his name, the name of the person who had turned him, and a better admission of guilt than I could have dreamt of. But what he had said was so utterly evil and _unnecessary_ that I found myself asking for confirmation instead.

“You’ve always killed them?”

Despite how weak he must be, he managed a slight nod.

“Am I the only one who cares?” I heard myself say. _This is a bad idea,_ I thought almost immediately, _I shouldn’t be doing this_. But a feeling of anger had manifested in my heart, an anger that cut too deep for me to put him out of my mind. ‘ _I’ve never compelled my prey to run.’_ It was evil at a scale even Damon couldn’t aspire to.

“Cares about-”

“ _About human life, you son of a bitch,”_ I hissed, and I found myself no longer caring if the others could hear me. “How can it be that you’re not even _trying_ to hide it?”

“The strong prey on the weak. I thought you of all people would understand that, Katherine.”

“Please,” I said icily, “describe what goes on in your head that makes you think observing what _is_ in nature is an argument for what _should be_ ,” _because it fucking isn’t._

“The strong prey on the weak,” he repeated. “Wolves kill sheep. Men kill wolves. Vampires kill men. That’s how the world is, Katherine. Every vampire murders. Only a fool fights their own nature.”

“Answer the fucking question. Why should what is in nature be an argument-”

“You said we have to kill him,” he interrupted me. “Bring him here. Once I’ve had some of his blood, send him away if you want. What do I care?”

“I _lied_ , moron. I’m not Katherine, and I’m about to kill you because you’ve just admitted to being a fucking psychopath. You are _worse_ than anyone I’ve woken up before. Thanks for not making it hard, I guess. I’m just trying to understand what’s wrong with your head a little better before I drive a stake through your heart, _but I will do it._ ”

“If that’s true, you’re only proving that I’m right. You’ve caught me while I’m weak, and so you can do with me as you please.”

“Answer my question, or this ends.”

“There are people who accept how the world is, and there are people who don’t. Now get it over with.”

A part of me wanted to punch him, to take the stake and rip through his arms rather than hit his heart...

... but I would not torture someone who was about to die, no matter how evil he was.

And what had I expected? He couldn’t have given me a good response – there was none.

I thrust the dart into his neck with considerable strength, as if doing so would prove a point. Then, I retrieved the weapon and killed him.

Only after it was done did I realize that this time had been different. Even with the third of fourth murder, where I had been almost entirely numb, there had still been a part of me that had dreaded the moment when the stake entered the flesh. This time, I had anticipated it. I had _wanted_ him dead.

But I hadn’t thought about what it meant. At that moment, I had forgotten all about the afterlife.

And yet... even now that I was thinking about it, a part of me still wanted him to suffer.

I lowered my arms to pick up his body, but then stopped.

 _I didn’t wish him well,_ I realized. _For every vampire, I’ve made a point to wish that they won’t suffer in the afterlife..._

_Eh, to hell with it. It’s not like it’ll matter to him what I think. My thoughts have zero influence on what happens to him now._

With that, I should have picked up his body and carried him into the entrance hall. Instead, I was still just standing there, feeling that, if I didn’t end up wishing him well, though it wouldn’t matter to him, it would matter to me...

I needed to figure out how much punishment I wanted to inflict on him. It was important to me to get an answer.

_How much do I want him to suffer?_

_It’s a lot. It’s a fucking lot. ‘I’ve never compelled my prey to run’ – fuck him. I want him to be alone. I want him to despair. It’s only right._

_But for how long?_

_A year? Ten years?_

I felt a horrible feeling of dread wash over me as my thoughts went there.

 _Ten years is too much,_ I realized. _I don’t want him to suffer for ten years. One year maybe, but not ten. That’s absurd. Oh my god. Maybe the pain he’s caused is greater than that, but... but..._

_... but I don’t think people should suffer as much as they’ve made others suffer, right? I can’t think that. I am with Stefan._

_But Stefan is different. His humanity was flipped off. It’s not really his fault._

_But this doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t work. I’m not punishing intentions, I’m punishing actions. Likely actions. What I think they’ll do if I let them go._

_No, no, that’s not right. It’s just that I have to decide based on actions to save other people. But what I really care about is intentions. It has to be. Intentions are what make someone good or evil._

_But are they, really? What if Ethan thought he was doing the right thing? What if he just doesn’t understand that ethics is a different thing from the way the world is? What if he thinks he’s doing good? Or, at least, doesn’t realize he’s evil?_

_I would say that the result is what matters, but then, what about Stefan?_

_Oh, god._

_I have no idea what I’m doing, do I?_

_I have no coherent view of what does and doesn’t make someone deserve punishment. I just don’t. That’s the truth. All I have is a bunch of intuitions, and I’m ready to ignore them if I must._

_I should have figured this out earlier. Why am I thinking about this after I’ve already killed a third of_ _the vampires here? This is madness. I’ve totally failed to make an informed choice._ _Probably because I was afraid of what I might figure out, if I figure it out. If I conclude that I can’t be with Stefan, I don’t know what I’ll do._

 _I HOPE YOU’LL DO WELL,_ I screamed in thought only, for at least that much was now clear; I didn’t want Ethan to suffer as much as he was going to suffer. I didn’t want that for anyone. I wouldn’t have wanted it even if he had been worse.

 _But,_ I thought desperately, _since I have to do this anyway, I might as well put this problem on hold, right? Doesn’t matter if I don’t know how much punishment is right. It’s not like I can control it. I can only choose between two things, letting them go and killing them, and I can’t choose the first for him because that would be worse for sure. Right? It doesn’t matter how bad the afterlife is or how long it lasts. Humans might have an afterlife, too. Sheila said they don’t, but she doesn’t know. And one bad vampire means so many dead humans..._

_Yes, I don’t need to solve it now. I can just continue what I’ve been doing already. Save as many as possible, but only if they don’t cause others to die._

I stood up. I only now realized that I had sunk onto the floor at some point during this. I wanted to stop thinking about it now that I had arrived there, but-

 _Could you make it less bad for them?_ I wondered, and now that the question had occurred to me, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about it.

_I don’t know what punishment is right, but I know eternity is too much. If I could help them to suffer less in the afterlife..._

_Or, perhaps not them, but other vampires we will kill in the future, like Isobel..._

_How would we do that? They’re all alone. Can you learn not to suffer if you’re alone?_

_Can you train your mind to be happy if you’re alone?_

_Why didn’t I think about this before?_

_It’s so important. Any of us could die tomorrow. It doesn’t matter how likely it is. If there’s any chance, and if there’s anything we can do to make it better..._

I stared down at Ethan’s body, and it was as if he were hidden behind a veil of mist.

I would ask Jenna about it. We lived in a world with six billion people. There was no doubt that someone had claimed to have found a way to be happy that didn’t depend on other people. Thousands of people had probably claimed as much. But some of those claims might be credible, and I had no idea how to find the right ones. Jenna was the most internet-savvy person I knew. She’d had to do research projects for her degree before. And I didn’t know anything about doing research.

I would ask her to search for something. No matter how likely it was to succeed, I knew it was worth the effort. I should have done it months ago, before either of us had turned.

I let out a breath. Then, finally, I picked up Ethan’s body and carried him through the tunnel. Despite the delay, no-one spoke to me as I lowered him onto the ground. When I was back and wrote the entry, I noticed that my hands were shaking, but I knew that it was no longer because of anger.

_Sixteen left._

Soon, I poured blood into the mouth of another man. This one was young, he might even be younger than me.

“Katherine,” he said as soon as he had room to speak, “you’ve freed us. Thank god.”

“Who are you?”

“Henry. You don’t remember? You’ve turned me.”

“While you and the others have been down here, I’ve had it even worse. The council has done things to me... don’t dare ask about it. I’m still missing parts of my memory. What’s your last name?”

“Wattles. Do you have more blood?”

“No,” I said icily. “Listen to me. Compulsion doesn’t work anymore-”

“What?”

“Compulsion doesn’t work anymore. It’s not just for people carrying vervain. Vampires have lost this power.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know why. But it means we can’t feed on humans without killing them.”

“Why?” asked Henry. “Can’t you just knock them out? Or find someone who volunteers?”

“Would you go through the trouble?” I asked. “Always knock people unconscious before you feed?”

“Yeah, I will. I think. Or, we could find another way? Have you-”

“What about the people who’ve done this to you?” I interrupted him. “They are dead by now, but their children are still alive. And the council still exists.”

“Revenge?” he asked. “I don’t know... it didn’t end well for us last time. I think I would rather stay out of trouble.”

I looked at him, and my gaze softened.

This person was nothing like Ethan. He seemed to be young, perhaps a bit naive, but entirely good-hearted.

I had mistrusted Emilia, but he was different. Still, I would probably not do him a favor if I gave him enough blood to hear everything from the other room.

I went to fetch a full flask of blood, the same amount that I had given to Emilia. It was probably enough to hear spoken words, but if he was lucky, he might be spared from hearing the ugliest parts.

“Drink,” I said as I returned to him. He obliged, and I waited until he was done. “I lied. I’m not Katherine, and vampires haven’t lost the power to compel humans, either. I’ve tested you to find out whether you value human life. Your answers were good enough. You can go free after I’ve dealt with everyone else in here.” I made a pause. “Stefan?”

“You’re not Katherine?” asked Henry. “But you look like her.”

While he had said this, Stefan had appeared in the room.

“It’s been helpful,” I murmured. “Something else – even though compulsion is still possible, it’s not safe. I want you to only use blood bags. Stefan can explain to you what they are.”

I returned to my backpack to fetch my diary. Once again, I wrote down every word of our conversation that I still remembered.

 _A second person saved,_ I thought once I was done, At some point, perhaps I would feel good about it. Right now, I only felt hollow.

_Fifteen._

Next up was a man with short black hair, a round face, and pale skin.

“Katherine,” he said once he was able to speak. “Have to give it to Kelvin. He said you would save us.”

“What’s your name?”

“You don’t remember the person you’ve turned?”

“I haven’t taken so long because I’ve enjoyed my life out there. The council has taken me. They’ve done things to me, horrible things. Don’t ask what they are. I still can’t remember most of your faces.”

“We’ll help you get revenge,” he hissed. “We’ll kill them all. For what they did to you, and what they did to us.”

“What’s your name?” I asked again.

“Michael Turner. You’ve turned me, months before the town rounded us up.”

“The people who did it are no longer alive. It’s the year 1921.”

“But the ones who’ve done this to you-”

“Also dead. I’ve killed them when I escaped. But other parts of the council are still intact. Same families, different faces.”

“Then we’ll kill them. They’ve hunted us and left us to starve. It’s time to return the favor.”

 _Was I being unfair_ , I wondered as I grabbed the dart, _by encouraging him?_ Once his body had gone limp, I retrieved the stake, then made the mistake of looking at it. There wasn’t any blood on it. The vampires didn’t have any blood left. But what was stuck on it was worse.

I rushed over to Michael and drove it into him. But I knew I hadn’t done it right. I had missed his heart. I pulled back, then did it again.

I stood over his corpse, breathing heavily.

_I hope you’ll be okay..._

I could feel myself shaking once more as I delivered the body. This had been bad. It wasn’t difficult to hit someone’s heart, but I had rushed it. I hadn’t even taken a second to think about what I was doing.

But it didn’t matter anymore. It was done. He was dead either way.

_Fourteen left._

I stashed the vervain dart into my backpack and replaced it with a fresh one. I didn’t want to hit someone with it, only to realize that it had run dry. But I had learned that it was fine to retract it almost immediately, so if I did that from now on, this second one should last for the remaining vampires.

Next up was a young woman with black hair and rough features. Her gaze pierced into mine when her eyes opened.

“Are they dead?” she asked, the moment I pulled back the flask.

“It’s the year 1920. Yes, the people who have done this to you are all dead.”

“The council. Is there still a council?”

I nodded.

“I’ve waited over fifty years for this moment. All this time, when my body was rotting away, I pictured what my vengeance would look like.” She seemed to try to lift her head but was too weak. I had learned from the early vampires and had reduced the amount of blood even further. “Give me more blood, Katherine. I need more. I’m not strong enough.”

“Tell me your name.”

“You’ve forgotten? You’re the one who turned me.”

“The council didn’t just punish you. They did even worse things to me. I’ve forgotten all of your faces.”

“Sally Graham. Give me more blood. Do it, so I can be strong enough to help you get your revenge.”

I didn’t leave her time to realize what was happening before I stuck the dart into her neck. When it was done, I was shaking more than ever before. I realized how much I had hoped I wouldn’t have to kill her. She had been wronged. Her passion was deserved. It might even be understandable. But she had been willing to direct her vengeance toward people who hadn’t lifted a finger against her. The council still existed. A person like that couldn’t be allowed to live.

Numbly, I returned to the center of the room, retrieving the stake. Then, I felt it taken out of my hands.

“What-”

Someone moved at vampire speed, and I heard the weapon finding its target. I heard it pulled out, and then, I felt arms wrapping around me.

“No,” I whispered, “no, you can’t, not you, you can’t do this, you’ve never killed anyone-”

“Neither have you,” said Lexi.

“But you were pure... a perfect record...”

“I’ve killed two people, Elena.”

“Two people!” I almost choked on the words. “Two people! That’s even less than I thought! Over three and a half centuries. You are the proof – you are everything good about vampires – you are kind and perfect and whole – you can’t do this –”

“I can, and I will.” Lexi’s voice was firm. “I’ve killed before, and they were innocent. Now, I’ll do it to save people. To save their victims, the council, and you.”

I broke into tears.

All this time, I hadn’t cried. Now, I began to understand why. It had been too horrible, too much, so I had blocked it out. Even after Ethan... even realizing the extent of my failure, I hadn’t cried...

“Shh,” whispered Lexi. “It’s barely midnight. You can take your time.”

I closed my eyes, but I could still see them. I saw the faces when their blood vessels protruded from under their skin, when their face returned to being pale...

I was cowering at the floor in the center of the tomb, the souls of more vampires still around me, and I felt as if I would never leave this place

and as if I had never seen anything but this place, as if the rest of my life was just a story I had come up with, a lie to conceal the truth that this place was all there would ever be

and I felt weak and tired

and though death was all around me, now it was nice and warm and Lexi was holding me

and I barely realized that I wasn’t sitting anymore

and now I felt numb and I wasn’t sure who I was or how I had found this place

and I realized after a while that a lot of time had passed and I wasn’t sure what it meant anymore

and my thoughts drifted off far like clouds across the sea

_and there was a square with a light flickering along its sides, and the light went up, left, down, right_

_and there was Damon, and his blood vessels protruded from under his skin, and there were wings sprouting from his back, and there was blood at the joints, and the light went up, left, down, right, and Damon looked at me, and I knew I was about to die and I was screaming, but there was no-one there, there was only Damon and the blood dripped down from the joints of his wings and it hit the ground and he would find me and kill me and torture me and the light went up, left, down, right, and Damon reached for the square, and his hand went through it, and the light went up, left, down, right_

_and he hadn’t gotten it then but he would get it soon and he would kill me and torture me and the square would break and the light would end and then everything I had ever been afraid of would happen and everyone I had ever loved would die and I was screaming and the light went up, left, down, right and Damon was there and he had seen me and the blood vessels protruded from under his skin and blood was dripping from the joints of his wings and the square couldn’t protect me and the light went up, left, down, right and Damon came toward me and I was screaming_

_and I was screaming as I was sucked down into a tunnel and I was falling and Damon was following me and the light went up, left, down, right and Damon was diving after me as I was falling and I only wanted to hit the ground and die before he could reach me and I was screaming and the light went up, left, down, right and I was screaming and it seemed to go on for so long and I was screaming_

_and I was screaming and I was falling and there were the outlines of a person at the end of the wall and there was something warm around me and I was screaming and the light went up, left, down, right and_ I realized that I wasn’t screaming as I woke up, only breathing heavily, and there was no light and no square and Lexi was still there holding me, and I had no idea how much time had passed

and Damon wasn’t here because he was dead because Stefan had killed and burnt him.

I had no idea how long it had been. Had we been like this for an hour or for five minutes? Had Lexi even realized that I had drifted off to sleep?

“How long,” I whispered, “since you’ve said it’s barely past midnight?”

“Ten minutes, maybe,” said Lexi.

 _Ten minutes._ It had felt longer. But if it was just ten minutes, and if I hadn’t really been screaming, no-one would have even noticed that something was up and _I can’t believe I still give a fuck what they think now how stupid am I?_

But I had let Bonnie die because I had been afraid of looking awkward, and now she and Sheila were both dead, and _I wonder if Bonnie feels better or worse now that Sheila is with her. They can talk to each other all the time now, but Sheila was her link to the real world. Now that she doesn’t have that anymore, it’s like she’s gone even further. Will she even want to come back what am I thinking of course she’ll want to come back, this isn’t a fucking story, of course people who are dead would rather not be dead._

I didn’t know why I was thinking about this now. I didn’t know anything anymore. The sense of surreality that had been most pronounced after the first few vampires was now stronger than ever before. Already, the nightmare felt like it had been ages ago. I didn’t feel like I had lived my entire life in the tomb anymore, nor did I feel like I had ever been anywhere else. I felt neither good nor bad, neither prepared nor unprepared for what I was going to do next. I only felt strange, as if nothing of this was real, as if I were watching my own life on a screen...

But that might not be the worst state to do what needed to be done.

“Alright,” I said, “let’s continue.”

Lexi let go of me, and I stood up.

“The journal entry,” said Lexi. I turned toward her and saw her offering me my notebook, and everything still felt so strange-

“Sally Graham,” said Lexi. “Was obsessed with taking revenge on people she’s never met. Write it down before you go to the next one. And don’t dare using the stake again. I’ll do it from now on.”

I nodded, taking pen and notebook. Lexi gave me a kiss onto my brow, then she disappeared. I wrote the entry, then looked around and approached another figure at random.

I dragged a man with short, black hair into the center. He opened his eyes the moment the blood hit his mouth.

“ _More,_ ” he demanded once the flask was emptied.

“Don’t have more,” I said, and my voice certainly didn’t sound shaky, it also didn’t sound like me, but he probably wouldn’t notice, “sorry, what’s your name?”

“Charlie. Have you forgotten about me?”

“The council has done terrible things to me,” I heard myself say, and it felt entirely effortless, I felt as if I could have told him anything and I wouldn’t care, “things worse than starvation. I remember almost none of your faces.”

“What things?”

I wondered if he was someone intimidating by nature. I couldn’t even tell. I wasn’t sure if anything he could do would make me feel something now.

“Don’t ever ask me that question again. What’s your last name?”

“Why?”

“It might help me recover my memories,” I lied.

“Decker,” he said. “Am I the only one you’ve woken up?”

“Yes. I don’t have more blood, as I said.”

“Then, get a human down here.”

“Did I turn you?” I asked, ignoring the command.

“You did. And that means I’m here thanks to you.”

“If I bring you someone, you’ll have to kill him. Compulsion doesn’t work anymore.”

“What the fuck?”

“I don’t know why. One day, it just stopped working. Everything else is the same.”

He looked at me as if he doubted my sanity – a look that told me he wouldn’t be alive for much longer.

“What have they done to you, Katherine? The person I knew wouldn’t have had to think twice about this. Get me some fucking food. I need more blood.”

Once he was knocked out, I returned to my backpack, picked up the pen, and wrote a short entry. I said nothing to Lexi as she appeared, but I heard the sound and knew what she had done.

_Twelve._

The next vampire was tall and handsome, perhaps ten years older than me, with black hair and a mustache.

“Katherine,” he said as I pulled back the flask. “You’ve come back for us after all.”

“What’s your name?”

“You’ve forgotten? How long has it been, Katherine?”

“Seventy years,” I lied. “But it’s not time that made me forget. The council has done things to me. Horrible things. I barely remember anything from 1864.”

“So that’s why you didn’t come sooner. We thought you betrayed us.”

“Your name?” I repeated.

“Frederick. Frederick Chandler. Do you have more blood for me, Katherine?”

I shook my head. “This is all I have. Who turned you? And when?”

“I’m sorry to see you like this, Katherine. You’re the one who turned me. You’ve turned a lot of people in 1864, but I was the first. Now, get me a human. How did you even end up with so little blood? It’s not enough.”

“Vampires have lost the power to compel people,” I said, ignoring the question. “It’s become more difficult to get your hands on human blood.”

“Have they lost their strength, too?”

“No.”

“Then, it has hardly become more difficult. You’re the strongest vampire I’ve ever met. It’s child’s play for you to catch someone.”

“I can do that, but you would have to kill him.”

“Have you gone soft under the council’s hand? Since when is human life a reason for us not to take what we want?”

As I stuck the dart into his neck, I realized that the protective shell of surreality was gradually fading. Things felt more real again, and unlike the previous time, I now felt relief knowing that I didn’t have to stake him, that Lexi would do this most difficult part in my stead.

I still said nothing when she came down, but against all reason, I watched as she did it, and it didn’t leave me cold. It wasn’t supposed to be like this; I had given her the ring to _correct_ the injustice, to reward her, reward the symbol of everything that was good about vampires... she shouldn’t have to do this for me; she shouldn’t have to spoil her near-perfect record just to help me out; she shouldn’t suffer from being around me...

But I knew she wouldn’t listen to me, and I couldn’t pretend not to be thankful. I didn’t want to kill anyone else. I had killed more than enough people for the rest of eternity.

_Eleven._

_Frederick Chandler,_ I wrote, _tall, about thirty, black hair, stupid, arrogant, indifferent to humans, killed by Lexi._

 _I hope you’ll do well,_ I thought, and only then realized that I had forgotten to think it the two previous times. But I barely remembered their names anymore. I would do it for future vampires, but not for the ones I had missed.

Next up was a man with brown hair and stark features. He didn’t move at all while I fed him, and for a few seconds, I wondered whether he had somehow died from starvation, even though it should be impossible.

But then, he opened his eyes.

“Out,” he murmured. “After all this time. You’re here to help me, aren’t you?”

“If I can. What’s your name?”

“Amiel Cord. Are you Katherine?”

I nodded.

“It wasn’t us,” he said weakly. “The murders they hunted us for.”

_What?_

The spell was broken – I was back to feeling emotions, and therefore back to being vulnerable.

“How do you know?”

“I’ve seen it. It was wolves. Werewolves.”

I paused. _Werewolves._ Well, I certainly wouldn’t bet against their existence. Among witches and vampires, werewolves would fit right in.

“Do you know who it was?” I asked.

“No. They say a werewolf bite is deadly to a vampire. I didn’t want to risk being killed.”

“Could it be both? Vampire and werewolf deaths?”

“Didn’t you teach the ones you turned not to kill to avoid suspicion?”

“Not all of the vampires were turned by me, and some might not have listened.”

“Doesn’t matter. Henry told me the bodies were ripped apart in ways he had never seen before. It wasn’t vampires.” He coughed. “I need more blood.”

“What about you? Didn’t you leave your own victims?”

“I didn’t kill a single person in 1864. I’m not an idiot.”

“And before that?”

Even while I said it, I knew I was making a mistake.

“Before that?” he echoed.

“Did you kill before that?”

“... no. I’ve always compelled my victims to forget about me after I was done.”

I closed my eyes. I had completely screwed this up. I had deviated from the plan because it had felt natural given where the conversation had been at, but in doing so, I had been far too transparent. I knew he had seen through me; I could tell from the tone of his voice. He might not know why, but he had understood that I was asking for a reason, and he had given me the answer he thought I wanted to hear. I had lost my chance to find out whether or not it was true.

I would have to let him go. I wouldn’t kill him without having proof of his guilt. But it was a major failure on my part. He had given me almost no reason to trust him.

I was about to spoil the secret, but then remembered the other thing I wanted to know – and in this case, he probably didn’t have a reason to lie.

“Who turned you?” I asked.

“A vampire named Trevor, in 1798. I never learned his last name. I’ve only known him for a few days, then he left me to take care of myself.

“Alright,” I murmured, trying to ignore the crippling fear the word evoked in me. “I’ve lied to you. I’m not Katherine. There are other vampires in the entrance hall. They’ll explain. If you can, please try to be as quiet as possible. I’ll get you more blood so you can walk.”

I didn’t know whether this was the right choice or not – given that I had no important information about him, there was an argument that killing him would have been the more moral choice. But I couldn’t do it. Not after what he had told me.

 _If I’m wrong,_ I thought as I held the refilled flask to his lips, _several people might die because of it._ If that day came, those lives would earn special places on my list, for they would truly be just on me.

I didn’t look at Stefan as he came down to pick up Amiel. Shame was burning behind my face, and I didn’t want him to console me, as I knew he would. I wanted to feel it. I deserved it. I had failed.

_Ten..._

_Amiel Cord,_ I wrote. _I’ve made a mistake in the conversation, and I think he figured out what I was doing before he gave me the information I needed. But it wasn’t obvious. I don’t think most in his situation would have caught on in time. If I’m right, he’s smart – and that could make him even more dangerous._

This was followed by a transcript of our conversation as best as I remembered it.

 _I’m sorry,_ I then wrote, following an instinct. _I will follow the plan from now on. I won’t allow anyone else to see through me so easily._

I knew I had made all the amends that was reasonable. Beating myself up more wouldn’t do good to anyone; it would just make me more likely to fail again in the future. So I resolved to put it out of my mind and approached another figure at random.

It was a man with long, blond hair. He kept his eyes closed while I fed him and only opened them once I was done.

“More,” he whispered.

“Sorry, that’s all I have. What’s your name?”

“Chester.”

“Last name?”

“Wiley.”

“Who turned you?”

“My master. It was a long time ago. I would like to keep his name a secret.”

I bowed my head. “Things have changed since you’ve been imprisoned,” I said. “Vampires have lost the power of compulsion. I can catch you a human if you want, but you will have to kill him.”

“If that’s the only way, then so be it.”

I hesitated.

There had been no joy in his words. If he told me next that he had never murdered on purpose, I would believe him.

But it wasn’t good enough. I had never intended to free vampires who merely didn’t kill unless it was convenient; I had intended to free vampires who understood that taking a human life was a _big fucking deal_ , and who tried, at least for a few seconds, to come up with alternatives before agreeing to do it anyway.

“Sorry,” I murmured, then I grabbed the dart and stuck it into his neck. When I retracted it, I realized that he was still moving, so I gave him a second dose. What this probably meant was that he was old, perhaps much older than most of the others.

It didn’t help him.

For a few moments, I wondered whether Lexi would protest my choice. She didn’t. She appeared mere seconds after Chester had passed out, and though I didn’t look this time, I could hear the stake finding its target.

 _I hope you’ll do well,_ I thought. I realized that my hands were shaking once more. At least now, I was nearing the end.

_Nine._

Next up was a man with dark hair. He looked a bit older, perhaps forty. His body had mummified while he was sitting, with his back leaning against the wall. I noticed that there was no-one close to him, so, for the first time, I didn’t drag his body into the center. Instead, I merely steadied his head while I poured the blood down his lips.

“Katherine...” He coughed. “You’ve come back after all.”

“What’s your name?” I asked, and I realized that my voice was starting to sound shaky again, although the change was likely still too subtle for him to notice.

“David... you should know... you’ve turned me.”

I would have given a lot to make the numbness extend until the end of the procedure. I didn’t want to feel. I hated it. I hated looking at him and knowing that I would probably have to make Lexi kill him, given that his name was on the list. I was a coward at heart; I was willing to judge people for their actions, but I didn’t want to look them in the eyes while I did it.

“I might have escaped being buried alive, but the council still got to me. They’ve done things to me worse than starvation. I barely remember anything from 1864...”

“Bastards... they will pay... I need more blood, Katherine... give me more... and I can help you get revenge...”

“What’s your last name? Maybe it’ll help me remember.”

“Williamson.”

“Things have changed. Vampires can’t compel people anymore. I don’t know why. I don’t have more blood. I can hunt down a person for you, but you’ll have to kill him.”

“Do you think I care? Everyone in this bloody town can go to hell.”

I slid my hand into my pocket.

This time, there was a sharp stitch of pain when I heard Lexi end his life, even though there wasn’t a shred of doubt that he deserved it.

 _Eight,_ I thought. _I hope you’ll do well._

There were two more names on the list that I hadn’t heard so far – Angletta Olsen and Ramsey. Both of them would probably have to die.

 _Angletta might also be the woman Emilia was talking about,_ I realized. _I don’t remember how many women are left, but it can’t be that many. In that case, she’ll almost certainly have to die._

Next up was an indistinct looking man with black hair. He didn’t say anything when I retracted the flask, but I saw his eyes flickering, and a smile creeping onto his face.

“What’s your name?”

“Asks the vampire who turned me. Ramsey Nielson, at your service.”

And there he was – the fourth person on the list.

“The council has done worse things to me than to the lot of you,” I said quietly, even though I already knew this man would die – not only was he on the list, but I had also killed his lover. “I don’t remember most of the faces of vampires I’ve turned.”

“A shame,” said Ramsey. His eyes were still darting around as if he could see things through the darkness. But he shouldn’t – everyone I had awoken before him had behaved as if they couldn’t see anyone else. “You don’t look so good, if I say so myself.”

I nodded. “I’m not sure if I’ll ever recover.”

“You don’t suppose you have more blood for me?” asked Ramsey. “I don’t quite have my strength back.”

“Not right now. But I can capture a human. You will have to kill him.”

“Nothing will give me greater pleasure.”

A shiver ran down my spine. I didn’t want to hear any more. I detached my gaze from him the moment his body went limp.

_Seven._

_You were a fucking piece of shit, but I still hope you do well. I really do._

I dragged the next body into the center, even though there had been enough free space on the walls beside her. I didn’t know why. I wasn’t feeling well... I had hoped I would be able to do it just a few more times, now that it was easier, now that I didn’t have to drive the stake myself...

I crouched down and held my head between both hands. It was only seven. Seven more.

_I wonder what Caroline will think about me after this. Will she trust me with more? Should she? I’ve been able to do this, but barely, and only with Lexi’s help..._

_What about Anna? Will she be angry that I delayed for so long? But she has been so patient before. A few more hours can’t matter to her, or can they? Is it different now that she’s so close?_

_And will Pearl be angry at me for not waking her first and asking her for help? She might know things that could have been useful..._

_... but it was right not to wake her up. Ethan was the worst piece of shit I’ve ever seen in my life, and he was turned by her. I bet Pearl is like Anna. Would never hurt anyone herself, but doesn’t think she’s responsible for the actions of people she’s turned. I couldn’t have risked her feeling loyalty toward him. Who knows what their relationship was like. And if we had woken her up, Anna would probably have given her as much blood as she wanted. Then, if she wanted him alive... together, they’re probably stronger than the rest of us combined..._

_I don’t like it. I don’t know what she’ll say to me afterward. But I know it was right._

_I wonder what people who hate vampires would say if they could be me for just a few minutes and experience what it’s like. I feel so afraid and vulnerable, and I only want to save everyone... it’s bad people who are responsible. It’s always bad people. The humans who have locked in everyone, even those who weren’t guilty, and the vampires who were murderers, and still are. We’re not any different from humans. I only became more of what I already am when I turned. Bad people may become worse, but only because the transition heightens what is already there. It doesn’t create anything new. The only way to hate all vampires and not be inconsistent is to also hate all humans._

I opened my eyes and looked at the vampire lying beside me. She was a woman with long, dark hair. Would she be a murderer? Would she have to die?

Probably.

My hand was shaking when I picked up the flask, so I stared at it and waited for it to become steady. Then, I held the flask to her mouth and tilted it downward. Her eyelids opened at once, and in perfect contrast to Ramsey, they were fixated entirely on me.

“Frederick,” she said the moment the flask parted from her lips, and a terrible sinking feeling hit my stomach. “Frederick... Frederick... where is he?”

“Who are you?” I asked weakly, but I already knew that I couldn’t leave her alive. I had killed the person she loved, and now she would hate me even if she was innocent.

“Bethanne Chandler. Where is Frederick? Have you woken him yet? Is he okay?”

A coldness I had never quite felt before spread throughout my body as I slid a hand into my pocket. There was no point in continuing this conversation. Yes, I could talk to her and discern her attitude toward humans, and perhaps I would be lucky... perhaps I would see that she deserved it, and then I would feel better...

... but I would be deluding myself if I pretended that it made a difference. I had murdered the person she loved. If she was kind toward humans, I would have to kill her all the same, and then it would be even worse...

“I’m so sorry,” I said, and I took the dart and thrust it into her neck.

“ _Really?”_ asked Lexi, who had appeared beside me mere seconds later. It was clear how upset she was.

I sobbed. It was hard to breathe.

“You’re right,” said Lexi just a moment later. “I _know_ that you’re right – we can’t leave her alive; we can’t, but – ah, _fuck,_ Elena. This is fucking awful.”

I buried my face in my hands. After a few seconds, I felt Lexi’s hand on my shoulder.

“Don’t give up now,” she said, “we’re too close.”

“I won’t,” I whispered, even though I didn’t feel as if it were true, “I won’t, I promise, just give me a little more time...”

The weight was lifted off my shoulder and I knew what I was about to hear next-

-and then I did and it still hurt so much...

_I hope you’ll do well..._

_... please don’t suffer too much. Please. I know you might not deserve this. You might have never harmed anyone. But we couldn’t leave you alive. I’m sorry._

_I’m so, so sorry._

I counted down from a hundred and it felt way too short and then I stood up and walked over to my backpack and I picked up my diary.

_Bethanne Chandler. Wife of Frederick. Seemed deeply in love with him. I have no idea what she thinks about humans. Killed by Lexi._

I couldn’t remember when I had started crying again, but I knew it had to pass, so I waited. Waited for my tears to stop before I fed the next one. It was a young man with short, blond hair.

“Katherine,” was the first thing out of his mouth.

“Who are you?” I asked, my voice sounding hollow in my ears.

“Alex. Alexander. You’re the one who turned me.”

“The council has done worse things to me than to you. I don’t remember a single face in this crypt. Last name?”

“Abbot. What did they-”

“Don’t ever ask me this question. There’s more. Vampires cannot compel humans anymore. I don’t have more blood with me; if you want more, I can capture a human, but you’ll have to kill him.”

“Do it. I don’t care. And neither do you.”

I still felt numb as I stuck the dart into his neck. Neither Lexi nor I said a word while both of us did our jobs.

_Five._

Only five more, and this would all be over.

 _I hope you’ll do well,_ I thought numbly.

Next up was a woman with a lithe stature and dark, flat hair. It was so long that it touched the floor after I had moved her into a sitting position next to the wall. Her eyes opened halfway through the contents of the flask.

“Katherine,” she said quietly. Her voice seemed tense, and though I wasn’t sure why, there was certainly something other than relief in it.

“What’s your name?”

“Elizabeth Apailana.”

“While you were trapped down here,” I said, “the council has done things to me. Terrible things. Things worse than starvation. Much of my memory has been lost and still hasn’t returned. Have we met before?”

“We have. But only briefly.” A pause. “Do you... have more blood for me?”

“Sorry. I’ve given you all I have. Getting your hands on blood is harder than it used to be. Vampires have lost the ability to compel humans. No-one knows how. I can bring you a human, but you will have to kill him.”

Several seconds passed while she just looked at me.

“There would be other ways,” she said, sounding as if she was worried about offending me. “You could knock him out without killing him.”

“What if he wakes up halfway through?”

“You could also bring me an animal. I won’t be as strong, but it will be enough to get me onto my feet. What about the others? The other vampires?”

“You’re the first one I’ve woken up. I only had a little bit of blood. But do you really care? It won’t be someone you know.”

“It will be safest if you bring me an animal,” said Elizabeth. “That way, you don’t risk being found. If you do, I’ll help you. I can help you get human blood, too, if you want. You’ll see how resourceful I can be.”

“What about the people who have done this to us?” I asked. “The council? The original members are all dead, but their descendants are still alive.”

“No-one is responsible for the crimes of their parents,” said Elizabeth. “Even if they were already alive when the round-up happened, there is likely nothing they could have done to prevent it.”

I could feel tears creeping into my eyes. But I knew that it wouldn’t matter anymore.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I lied. I’m not Katherine. I was testing you... I needed to know whether you value human life...”

Her eyes widened.

“And...” she whispered, “... you mean...”

“I needed to know because I do, and I couldn’t release you into the world if you didn’t. But I see that you do, too, so it’s okay, it’ll all be okay. I’m sorry for making it difficult, I’m sorry, let me just... just... let me get you more blood...”

I returned to my backpack. I forced my hands to be steady as I poured blood into the flask. And this time, I brought the entire container with me as well.

“You can have as much as you want,” I said, “but there are more vampires here. I’ll have to speak to them, too, and if they don’t... if they aren’t... and most aren’t... you’ll probably hear well enough to understand the words either way, but if you take more, you might also hear how they die... you don’t have to put yourself through that if you don’t want to...”

“You kill all the ones who are willing to murder for food?”

I nodded.

“I want to hear,” she said, and I put the flask onto her lips. Halfway through, she lifted up her own hands to hold it up.

Once it was done, she sat upright.

“It is horrible,” she said, “what most of us do to feed. But I was afraid – I thought you were Katherine, and I didn’t want her to think I would oppose her, not while I needed her, so I-”

I shook my head to cut her off. “I get it. I can tell that you care, and it was obvious why you didn’t want to push back more. You have nothing to apologize for. Your reaction was the best out of anyone I’ve talked to.”

I could hear her release a breath, and she nodded. I noticed her looking around. “There are only four,” she said. “Did you... wake... all the others? All twenty-two?”

“There are two we didn’t have to wake. But otherwise, yes. Was there anyone you care about in here?”

“Not really,” said Elizabeth. “I’ve spoken to Pearl twice before the round-up, and once to her daughter. They seemed like kind people. I would be sad to see Pearl gone, but if you decided that she’s not worth saving...”

“Oh no,” I said, “Pearl will get out for sure. I’m with Anna, her daughter. Pearl is the reason we’ve opened the tomb in the first place.”

“Is she...?”

“In the entrance hall,” I said. “Along with the other vampires I’ve saved, and the ones who’ve come with me. They just can’t be in sight when I interrogate the new ones.”

“How many have you saved?”

“Besides you and Pearl, there have been four.”

“Only four,” whispered Elizabeth, but then nodded as if to signal that she wouldn’t have expected otherwise.

I hesitated. But I trusted this person, and it seemed unlikely that she had lied, and even if she had... with Anna and Lexi being here...

“Do you want more blood?” I asked, and she nodded again. “Go on,” I said, pointing at the container. There were several gallons inside; I had only used a tiny amount so far.

Elizabeth took it and carefully held it onto her lips. She closed her eyes as she drank, and only then did I realize that the other vampires I had saved might be offended that I was treating her differently...

... but I didn’t care. I had treated them differently because they had responded differently. Even Henry, who had by no means been a close call, hadn’t shown as much compassion as this woman. When I had asked him, the only reason he had given for not wanting revenge was cowardice.

Elizabeth put down the container, and at that point, I forgot that I was supposed to hold my breath, and then the smell was there, powerful and enticing and promising-

“Are you alright?” asked Elizabeth.

“ _Close it,”_ I hissed, “ _close it, please.”_

I could hear her doing what I had asked, and I also heard people come into the room, no doubt because they realized what had happened, and I had managed not to breathe in again, but the promise was still there, so close, so _sweet_ , and the disappointment was so bitter...

“You okay?” It was Stefan’s voice.

I nodded. “I forgot,” I murmured, “I forgot I had to hold my breath, I’m stupid, but it’s all good, nothing happened...”

I opened my eyes to see Elizabeth staring at the two newcomers. Lexi had come down, too.

For a moment, I wondered whether she recognized Stefan, but then she looked back at me.

“Are you... new?” she asked, and I nodded.

“New and particularly bad around blood,” I murmured. “Holding my breath works fine, I just... I forgot about it.”

“And they are...”

“Friends of mine,” I said. “More vampires who value human life.”

“You bet,” said Lexi.

“Sorry if I’ve frightened you,” I said quietly. “Just then, and by pretending I was Katherine.”

But Elizabeth shook her head. “Don’t be. You had a good reason.” She lifted a hand to touch her obscenely long hair, as if to make sure it was still there. “If compulsion doesn’t work anymore-” she began.

“It does,” I interrupted her. “It works. Nothing’s changed. It’s just something I’ve made up. I need to find out whether the vampires I wake up _really_ care. Just being willing to use compulsion when it’s easy isn’t good enough. I have to see that they think about other ways when compulsion isn’t in the cards anymore.”

“I see,” said Elizabeth. “That was brilliant. And it’s a good thing... if compulsion didn’t work, I bet that would lead to even more bloodshed.”

I nodded. “None of the others even thought about that,” I said, “but you’re right.”

“You have to finish the job,” said Lexi quietly, and I nodded again.

“Do you know them well?” I asked Elizabeth. “The ones that are left?”

“Only from the time we’ve spent down here.” She turned her head. “It’s too dark for me to recognize them. If I take a closer look, perhaps I can tell you more.”

“Yeah,” I said, “go for it.”

I watched as Elizabeth went around the room and knelt down in front of each of the remaining four vampires.

“The woman,” she said as she returned. “Angletta Olsen. She seemed... vengeful, and... unconcerned with the lives of others, to an unusual degree. Be wary of her. I know this one is named ‘Sam’,” she pointed at one of them, “and this one Cole,” she pointed at another, “and the last one never told me his name. But none of them said much. I don’t know what they think about humans.”

“A witch has told me that Angletta was known to have murdered,” I told her, “and Emilia has also warned me about her. She’s unlikely to make it out of here. Thank you.”

Elizabeth nodded. “Is there anything else I can do?”

I shook my head. “I’ll have to finish this on my own.”

“Can you tell me your name?” asked Elizabeth.

“Elena Gilbert.”

“Elena. Thank you so much for what you’re doing. You’ve saved my life.”

I only managed a nod, then she and Stefan left through the tunnel.

It was a good thing that I had met her so late. Witnessing kindness made it worse, that much I had understood by now. There were four vampires left, and perhaps I could last that long, but I knew it would be harder than ever before.

But it had all been worth it. The suffering I had gone through, it meant nothing. Not if I had gotten to save someone like her.

“You okay?” asked Lexi.

“I don’t know,” I said honestly.

“You can’t give up now – we’re too close.”

I nodded. Lexi left as I shuffled over to pick up my diary.

 _Elizabeth,_ I wrote. _Asked me to bring her an animal when I told her compulsion doesn’t work and gave a perfect reason why punishing existing council members doesn’t make sense. I’ve let her have as much blood as she wanted._

Then, I documented the relevant parts of our conversation, even though I was convinced that, this time, it wouldn’t end up being necessary.

When I was done, I noticed that I wasn’t crying, which meant that there was no reason to delay. I looked around, then stepped toward the vampire who Elizabeth had said was named Sam.

 _Four,_ I reminded myself as I put the flask onto his lips. He had black hair and a hard face. I felt his breath on my hands before he opened his eyes.

“More.”

“Sorry. That’s all I have.”

“Katherine... Kelvin said you would save us. I didn’t believe him.”

“What’s your name?”

“How can you not remember me?”

“I haven’t come sooner because the council caught me. They’ve done horrible things to me, things worse than what any of you have been through. It’s all gone. All of your faces.”

“Sam Lopez.”

“Did I turn you?”

“Yes. If you haven’t done it already, Katherine, I’ll help you punish them.”

“It’s been sixty years. The people who brought you here are all dead. But the council still exists.”

“Still hunting for vampires?”

“Yes.”

“Then we’ll kill them all. They have no chance if we organize, and if you help us. Bring me more blood, Katherine.”

“I can bring a person here. But you’ll have to kill him. Compulsion doesn’t work anymore.”

“Why?”

“No-one knows. But it doesn’t. Stopped working seven years ago.”

“Do it.”

I stuck the dart into his neck, and Lexi appeared while I was still kneeling beside him. I looked away while she killed him. _I hope you’ll do well_ , I thought, all the while realizing that I had been right. Knowing what was happening hurt more than it had before.

_But only three are left._

Upon refilling the flask, I turned to the man who Elizabeth had said was named Cole.

“You’re here to free us?” he asked once I pulled back the flask.

I nodded.

“You’ll need to give me more blood than this. I can’t even stand.”

“What’s your name?”

“Cole Dotson. You should remember me, Katherine. We’ve hunted together.”

“I wouldn’t. The council has caught me, and they’ve done things to me worse than letting me starve. Much of my memory is gone.”

“But you escaped?”

“I did.”

“Then, get us someone down here. Doesn’t have to be a council member. Get anyone. Get me someone to feed on, and we can go hunting together again. Maybe that’ll help your memory.”

“I can – but you’ll have to kill him.”

Cole gave something between a cough and a laugh.

“You were the one who used to insist that we let them live to avoid attention. Changed your mind since, have you?”

“No,” I said, “I’ll bring you someone. But one last thing – who turned you?”

“Trevor. That was in 1862. But he didn’t think I was worth his time. Left me a week after he turned me. I have no idea what happened to him.”

“Thank you,” I whispered. “Now, die.” And I stuck the dart into his neck before he could say another word.

“You’re almost there,” said Lexi after retracting the stake. I now saw how much I was shaking. It wasn’t sadness, it was something deeper than that. The procedure itself didn’t get to me that much anymore, but there was something else, and whatever it was, I knew that it wouldn’t let me continue for much longer.

 _I hope you’ll do well,_ I thought while going through the routine, and, just barely, I managed to summon enough empathy to mean it.

Now, there were only two vampires left: the woman who was said to be Angletta Olsen, and a man who was lying a few yards to her left. I went to him first, dragged his body into the center, and held the refilled flask onto his lips.

When the color returned to his face, I thought that he looked more like a killer than any other vampire I had woken up before. He wasn’t attractive, but more than that, something seemed off about his face. But then, looks were deceiving. Perhaps he was really a saint. Perhaps he would be the final person I could save.

“Katherine,” he whispered once he could speak.

“What’s your name?”

“Randson. How long’s it been since you woke up that you can’t remember me? You’ve made me into this.”

“The council has done things to me. Horrible things. They’ve taken much from me. I can’t recall the faces of anyone in this tomb.”

“Good.”

_... what?_

“Your last name?” I inquired.

“Myres.”

“Why did you say it’s good?”

“Why? Are you kidding me? You should suffer, Katherine. You’re the reason all of us have been through this. Eternal life? Fuck you. Even if we get it now – nothing has been worth this.”

I wondered if anyone else had felt this way, anyone who hadn’t been stupid enough to say it to the person who was supposedly saving them.

“Vampires can’t compel humans anymore,” I said, deciding to simply ignore the insult – it didn’t matter much, given that I wasn’t Katherine. “No-one knows why. And I don’t have more blood. If you don’t want to spend another fifty years mummifying away, you will have to get your hands dirty. I can bring someone down here, but you’ll have to kill him.”

“He’ll be lucky to have a quick death.”

When I stuck the dart into him, all I could think about was how I would feel after all of this was over.

 _I hope you’ll do well,_ I thought as I heard Lexi stake him. I shuffled over to my notebook, wrote another entry, refilled the flask, and finally, knelt down in front of the last vampire.

Angletta Olsen.

Given the evidence presented against her, it would almost be a safe bet to kill her outright, but I knew that doing so would leave me wondering forever if I had murdered someone innocent. Going through this final interrogation might not make a difference to her, but it would make one to me.

Angletta had shoulder-long hair, and her beauty became apparent as soon as the color returned to her face. Her eyes were green, just as Emilia had said.

“Katherine,” she said as I pocketed the flask. “You’ve really come back for us.”

“What’s your name?” I asked. No reason to deviate from protocol, even if I already knew the answer.

“Angletta Olsen. Don’t tell me you don’t remember me.”

“The council has done terrible things to me. Things worse than letting me starve, far worse. Much of my memory is gone. I don’t remember any of your faces.”

“But now you’re here. I don’t suppose it ended well for them?”

“It didn’t.”

Angletta laughed quietly. I realized that she must have been older; otherwise, the amount of blood I had given her shouldn’t allow her to sound this close to normal.

“Vampires can’t compel humans anymore. I don’t know why. No-one does. We have lost this power a few years ago. And I don’t have more blood with me. I can catch you a human, but you will have to kill him.”

“Well,” said Angletta, “we wouldn’t have to. You could knock him out, feed on him while he’s unconscious, and bring him back into his home. But I’ll gladly kill him if I can spare you the trouble.”

I nodded. “I’ll catch someone and bring him here. But before I do – who turned you?”

“I don’t know her name. I’ve only seen her once. That was in 1726.”

I felt a shiver run down my spine, but I slid my hand into my pocket, and, one last time, stuck the dart into her neck. This time, I left it there for about two seconds, knowing that she was older than most.

When I retracted it, her body was as limp as those of the vampires before her.

Lexi appeared, and she killed her while I wrote the final entry. When I looked up, I saw Anna and Stefan standing beside me.

“Go,” said Anna. “We can take care of the rest.”

“You have to burn them before you-”

“I know the plan, Elena. Go. Get some rest. You deserve it.”

I looked at Stefan. He walked up to me. When he closed his arms around me, I conceded to give up the fight at last. I closed my eyes and felt my feet being lifted off the ground. I knew he was carrying me, carrying me back into the entrance hall.

Feelings came rushing into my head. I couldn’t have said whether I was happy or desperate; there were too many things, all existing at the same time...

I remembered when I had gone to visit Sheila, when I had sat in the passenger seat of her car. I remembered being seven years old and playing with Caroline... I remembered the first time I had met Bonnie... and I remembered watching Damon’s body burn and dissolve into ash and telling Stefan that I loved him.

My thoughts lingered at the scene, and then, I wondered if I had truly lost my mind because I felt it. I felt the heat, here and now...

Then, I realized that it was the heat coming from the tomb. The heat of twenty vampires burning to ashes. It was so intense that it reached all the way through the tunnel.

I opened my eyes. I knew what came next.

Anna didn’t bother with the flask. She lifted the entire container up to her mother’s mouth and didn’t stop until Pearl had drunk much of it, even more than I had given to Elizabeth.

“Annabelle.”

They hugged, but it barely registered for me. My emotional responses didn’t work anymore. Nothing was working, really. It was all a dream.

I saw her turn her head, and then I did, too, looking at the people in the room...

So many...

There had been only Stefan just weeks ago. How had we become so many...

I felt the tears returning. I didn’t know why.

It didn’t matter anymore.

Nothing mattered.

I blacked out.

* * *

**End of Part II**

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're interested, this is the spreadsheet I was working with to help me keep an overview. I've tried to be consistent with all the information presented in the show and the wiki.
> 
> ODS: https://www.dropbox.com/s/6rcecrmfj025226/Tomb%20Vampires.ods?dl=1  
> PDF: https://www.dropbox.com/s/9t4daahh8xac2z4/Tomb%20Vampires.pdf?dl=1


	27. Aftermath, #1

_The light went up, left, down, right. I looked around, taking in the massive building complex. The ceiling arched high above our heads._

_“What is the light?” I asked as I stepped beside a large pillar._

_“It’s the ground breaking down beneath you,” said Bonnie, and the light went up, left, down, right. “Every time the light completes a round, the ground breaks beneath your feet.”_

_“Why would the ground break?” I asked._

_“Don’t you remember?” said Elena. “When I was young, I had the same dream every night. I would be standing somewhere, and the ground would break beneath my feet, and I would fall and land on another platform. But it would also break, and I would fall again. Every time it happened, the platform would look a little different. And it would happen over and over again. I’ve had that dream every night for over a year.”_

_I looked at the light, and it went up, left, down, right._

_“How old was I?” I asked. Though I remembered that it had used to be this way, I hadn’t thought about it for years._

_“Three when it started,” said Elena, “four when it ended.”_

_“Why did the ground stop breaking?” I asked._

_“The ground never stopped breaking,” said Bonnie, and the light went up, left, down, right. “It’s been breaking every time the light completes a round, every time since you were three years old.”_

_“But it’s not breaking right now,” I said._

_“It is breaking right now,” said Bonnie, and the light went up, left, down, right. “It’s been breaking every time the light goes around, like clockwork. You just don’t notice it anymore.”_

_“But it’s not breaking_ ** _right now,_** ” _I insisted._

_“It is breaking right now,” repeated Bonnie, and the light went up, left, down, right, and the ground broke beneath our feet, and we fell, but then landed on another platform, unharmed. “Every time the light goes around, the ground breaks beneath your feet. Every time.”_

_I looked around. The building was different now, but we were still inside of something._

_“This reminds me,” said Elena. “When I was a little older, I often dreamt about large halls. I never knew how I had gotten there. I was lost, trying to find my way home. It wasn’t the same every night, but it always felt similar.”_

_And the light went up, left, down, right._

_“The fall didn’t hurt,” I said._

_“It didn’t hurt when you used to dream about it, either,” said Bonnie, and the light went up, left, down, right. “Whenever the ground broke beneath you, and you fell, you always landed on another platform, and it never hurt. But you were still afraid.”_

_“I was three,” I said defensively._

_“It was_ ** _scary_** _,” said Bonnie. “It’s_ ** _normal_** _to be afraid. You’ve just gotten better at lying to yourself.”_

_“I’m not lying,” said Elena._

_“No,” said Bonnie, “but she is.”_

_“I’m not,” I said. “I didn’t know.”_

_“You’re right,” said Bonnie, “you don’t know. But that’s because you forced yourself to forget. It was on purpose. Look around you. The light has gone around many times by now, but you’ve only noticed it once. Just look.”_

_I looked._

_It was entirely different now. I wasn’t in a hall anymore but on a wide, grassy plane._

_“The platform is different every time,” said Bonnie, and the light went up, left, down, right. “And it only changes after you fall through the previous one. But you don’t notice it anymore. Even after I’ve told you, you’ve only noticed it a single time. We’ve fallen down again since I’ve started talking, Elena. Look again.”_

_I looked. It was a little different. We were still outside, standing on grass, but it wasn’t a perfect plane anymore. There were bumps along the ground, and a few plants sprouted out._

_I didn’t feel good. I was exhausted. Too much had happened..._

_... and I felt a bit angry at Bonnie for putting this all on me right now. And the light went up, left, down, right, and the ground broke beneath our feet._

_“I don’t think you get to complain,” said Bonnie while we fell, and I sank onto the new ground, covering my face with both hands. “I’ve died, remember? And you...”_

_I looked up, and now, Damon was there. For a moment, I expected him to come after me, but this time, he had no wings, and he wasn’t bleeding, and he didn’t look threatening, just handsome and normal..._

_And he leaned down to give Bonnie a kiss._

_“You thought he killed me,” said Bonnie, “but he didn’t.”_

_“I love her,” said Damon, “I would never kill her. You’ve never seen me kill anyone. You’re the murderer, not me.”_

_“No,” I said, “no, I’ve never killed anyone who wouldn’t have killed far more people themselves.”_

_And then, Damon and Bonnie turned into Bethanne._

_“That’s another lie,” said the vampire, and her voice was soft and beautiful, and she seemed to be the most innocent person in the world._

_I heard a choking sound. I looked beside me, and it was Elena, and she was staring at Bethanne, who now had a stake stuck in her heart. And I saw the look on her face, and I rushed over to her as Bethanne was dying in front of us, as her wings deformed and blood started dripping down from the joints._

_I expected Elena to push me away, to loosen herself from my touch, and say that she hated me. Instead, she only clung to me more tightly, and she was whispering something, but it was so quiet that I could barely hear it._

_But I paid closer attention until I understood her._

_“why,” she whispered, “why why why why”_

_It would have been so much easier if she had hated me instead._

_“I can’t even kill a fly,” whispered Elena, “and I’ve stopped eating meat as soon as I understood that it doesn’t matter if I don’t see that it happens. How could we end up here? How could things have gone so wrong?”_

_“They didn’t,” I said, “things didn’t go wrong, I can explain”_

_But Elena looked at me, and I choked on the words-_

_“Of course they did”_

_-and now I noticed how young she still was._

_“No,” I whispered, “no, I only wanted to help, you have to believe me”_

_“To help,” sobbed Elena, and she hit me with a fist, but she was so weak, and I knew it wasn’t to hurt me but only out of frustration and disappointment, because I had failed to take care of her, “to help, by sending twenty vampires to the afterlife?”_

_And I wanted to say that I was sorry, but-_

_“Why did I do this, why?”_

_“Why?”_

_“Why?”_

_“why?”_

_And then, I saw that the light was still there, and it went up, left-_

_and I decided to ignore it, I had ignored it before, I could do it again_

_-down, right, and the ground broke beneath our feet and I fell and I clung to Elena as tightly as I could but the fall tore us apart and she fell down far, far away from me and I couldn’t help her and-_

_(( and at that moment, I understood why I had really dreamt that the ground was breaking every night for over a year, and that I had always known but hadn’t wanted to admit it to myself, and that even now, I had never reconciled it with what I had come to learn about the afterlife ))_

_-I looked around._

_I was all alone._

_Then,_ I woke up.


	28. Aftermath, #2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big news! Well, big for me, anyway :-)
> 
> I've created a website for this story. Check it out at http://meteor-tvd.com/. (Not yet accessible on mobile, sorry.) All chapters can now be read on there.
> 
> Note that there is currently no way to leave comments on the website, but comments are still welcome on here. Let me know if anything about the site needs fixing.

The first thing I noticed was the hunger. The second the headache. The third was the weight of a blanket.

I opened my eyes to see that I was lying in the same bed I had spent about half of the nights in during the past month. I turned my head to look beside me, but Stefan wasn’t there.

One thing was clear in any case: it was over. We had been in the tomb, and now it was done, and I would never have to go back. Now, I merely had to deal with the consequences, the fact that six vampires had been set free.

I felt a crippling sense of dread at the thought. Six vampires were now free because of me. What if Amiel ran away, too far for us to track him down, and lived his life as most vampires did, killing humans every year?

How many people had I killed by allowing this to happen?

I thought about the people on my list, thought about Bonnie, and then, at once, remembered the dream I had just awoken from...

... but my head hurt, and I didn’t want to think about it more...

I didn’t know what I had been supposed to feel after the operation was completed, but right now, I felt utterly miserable.

“Stefan?” I asked out loud. There was no rationale behind it, I just felt awful, and he was supposed to be there to protect me; he wasn’t supposed to let this happen.

There was no response. Irritated, I looked around me again. This was our room, wasn’t it? I was in the boarding house. He ought to be here. Why hadn’t he stayed beside me until I had woken up, anyway?

I pressed my eyelids together. My head hurt. I would have liked to sleep again, nightmares or not, because at least then my head wouldn’t hurt and I wouldn’t be so hungry, but I knew I would never fall asleep now.

The door opened. Moments later, Stefan stood beside the bed.

“How are you feeling?”

“Hungry,” I hissed, feeling somewhat disappointed as I was looking at him. Why wasn’t he doing anything?

Stefan opened my nightstand and pulled out one of the larger plastic bottles.

“You’ve been asleep for over twelve hours,” he said as he gave it to me.

Impatiently, I grabbed the bottle and tore off the lid. In an instant, Stefan disappeared, my headache disappeared, the room disappeared, and my worries disappeared. There was only pleasure, vast and powerful, rippling all throughout my body.

Until it was over.

I felt the familiar sense of disappointment, but it was short-lived. Soon, it was replaced by a feeling of euphoria.

I had done it!

I had done it. The tomb was behind me. And it had worked even better than expected. There was only one person I was worried about, but surely Stefan and Lexi wouldn’t have allowed anything bad to happen, and now that I was back...

I looked at Stefan and was almost overwhelmed as I did so. I loved him so much.

“Better?” he asked.

Something clicked.

“Oh, shit,” I murmured, only now realizing what had happened. _I knew that hunger can affect your mood,_ I thought, _but that was extreme._

I stretched out my arms, still lying in bed. I felt great, satisfied with what I had accomplished, proud of how I had lasted all the way, and excited about the future. To think that nothing about my circumstances had changed from now and a minute ago, except for the blood...

Stefan had once mentioned that this effect was more potent for vampires than humans, but I had not grasped to what extent it was true.

“I’ve told you to have some blood before going to the tomb,” whispered Stefan. “Did you forget?”

“Oh. Yeah, I... well, I wasn’t feeling hungry, then.”

“Fear and anxiety can make you forget that you’re hungry. But that means your last meal has been a long time away. Always a bad idea to let that happen.”

“I’ll remember it.” Once again, I reached above my head with both arms and let them go as far as they went, enjoying the sensation of stretching.

“Why don’t you come in here?” I whispered.

“I think some of the vampires want to speak with you.”

I pouted. “You’ve said I’ve been asleep for twelve hours,” I reminded him. “They can wait a bit longer. Please?”

I could see him rolling his eyes and almost cheered because I knew what it meant. Impatiently, I waited as he took off his shoes. I held up the blanket as he was done, and finally, he crawled under it, and then he was there and I could hold his head between my hands, and I kissed him and he kissed me back and it was so wonderful...

He pushed me back after a while, despite the fact that I had remembered to be quiet all throughout. I was disappointed, but I still let him.

“Thank you,” I whispered. “It means the world to me that you’ve kept your promise. I know how hard it was for you. I could see it. And... thank you for everything else, too.”

“There were parts when I wondered if I was insane not to interfere,” whispered Stefan darkly. “Lexi thought the same.”

“You were right. But Lexi hasn’t made a promise. And Lexi isn’t-”

“I know.” He brushed a strand of hair out of my face and gave me another kiss.

“But you were right,” I repeated. “I couldn’t have done it on my own. It took something from me every time. And there were just too many.”

“How do you feel now?” he asked.

“I feel-” I began, but then paused. I had been about to say ‘great’, but it didn’t quite seem to be true anymore. “... worse,” I whispered eventually. “Well, much better than before eating something, but worse than a minute ago.”

Stefan nodded, and I could tell that he wasn’t surprised.

“It’s the blood. If you drink a lot at once, you feel amazing for a while, but it goes away quickly. That’s why vampires like Damon often don’t touch blood for an entire day, wait until they’re extremely hungry, and then go out and drink as much as they can at once. All to get an even greater kick out of it. And hunger can reduce compassion, too.”

I examined my mental state once again and realized that he was right. The blood had catapulted me from a terrible low to an extreme high, but now it seemed to be receding back to a more normal point. My headache was still gone, but I certainly didn’t feel carefree anymore. I also realized how tired I was, despite supposedly having slept for twelve hours.

“Okay,” I whispered, “so, how are things? Anyone dead yet?”

Stefan shook his head. “Nothing has gone wrong so far. Pearl is the only one who can walk in the sun, so until sunset, they don’t have much of a choice other than to stay here. We’re fifteen people in total – Zach isn’t happy about it, but this place is large enough to house all of them, at least for a while.”

“Fifteen,” I murmured, “really?”

Stefan only looked at me.

“When did we become so many?” I asked weakly.

“Probably around the time you released six vampires from the tomb.”

“Yeah,” I murmured, “that could be a factor, couldn’t it?”

“And they all think you’re in charge,” whispered Stefan.

“Do they?” I asked rhetorically, somewhat afraid to say what I was thinking.

“You’ve decided to purge the tomb,” he reminded me, “and you’ve done most of the work. We’re now thirteen vampires, and all of the ones you’ve freed have understood that they’ve been spared because they value human life. I don’t know about Henry, but I think many of the others expect you to continue watching over them. You’ve started something.”

I bit my lip, then gave myself a push. This conversation needed to happen, and it needed to happen _now_ , while there was still time for a change of course.

“I think it’s bad if people think I’m in charge,” I whispered outright.

“You’ve been making decisions ever since Damon died. Do you really want to back out now?”

I shook my head. “No, I can still make decisions – although not right now, but I think I’ll be better if I get some more sleep. I’m saying that I can’t be _seen_ doing it. I can pull the strings, or some of the strings, but I can’t be who people _think_ is in charge.”

He didn’t ask me why – he knew me too well not to know it himself.

“Who then? If you want them to stick together, I think we need a leader.”

“Um,” I made. “... how about you?”

Stefan said nothing for a while, long enough for me to worry about his response. This was a conversation we’d never had before – I had always thought it would be far longer until it began to matter.

But then, he nodded.

“I play boss, but we keep deciding important things together?” he asked. “Is that the plan?”

“Well...” I said, even though the honest answer was simply ‘yes’ – what Stefan had just described was exactly what I had envisioned. “... um... well... yes?”

“And by ‘we decide together’, I mean we usually end up doing what you want, just like we’ve done so far?”

Hearing this, I felt confused – Stefan didn’t sound like he was complaining; he sounded like he was _teasing_ me, and as if he didn’t even mind the idea. I wasn’t sure if I was reading him correctly, but I knew I had expected him to react differently.

I ended up just nodding.

“Alright,” whispered Stefan, “let’s do it.”

“Really?” I asked. “You’re okay with this?”

He bowed his head. “I had my doubts about you leading a group of vampires, too – I was wondering what you’d say about it.”

That hurt a little, even though I had basically said as much myself.

I ignored the feeling and nodded. Stefan gave me another kiss (which I returned, still feeling confused), then slid out of bed.

“Why don’t you get some more sleep?” he asked. “I’ll go back down.”

I nodded again.

“And I’d ask everyone to stay here for at least another night so that you’ll have an opportunity to talk to them once you’re feeling better.”

“Um, yeah. Sounds good.”

He leaned down to give me one last kiss, then he left. I closed my eyes, trying to figure out what had just happened, but I didn’t get far before my thoughts drifted off, and it became impossible to focus.

* * *

When I fell asleep again, the real nightmares began.

Unlike before, there was no coherence to them anymore. I saw the tomb, and I saw myself killing new faces over and over again. Some of them were from real victims, but others were those of humans, people from my class, people who were my friends... there was Bonnie, and my mother, and Jeremy... and Bethanne. Again and again, she was there, and I was killing her. Her face didn’t match, but I knew it was her.

And I was never hurt. Every time someone died, I was the one committing the murder, never the one on the receiving end. Miranda. Caroline. Bethanne. Lexi. Jenna. Bethanne. And Bethanne again.

At some point, I wanted it all to end. I tried to walk out of the tomb, but it only led me further down, and then there were more people. This time, all of them were innocent. They had to escape. I wanted them to escape. But I couldn’t stop myself. I took the stake, and I killed them all, one at a time.

“Elena?”

My eyes flew open. I was still lying in bed, and-

“Can I come in?” asked Lexi.

I stared at her, noticing how quick my breathing had gotten during my sleep.

“Yes,” I managed, “please.”

Lexi closed the door behind her, took off her shoes, and slipped under the covers of Stefan’s bed, just as he had done earlier. I felt glad about it; even though everyone had supernatural hearing, whispering still felt the most natural when the other person was physically close.

“How are you?” I asked.

“Not great,” whispered Lexi, and I winced. I didn’t need Stefan’s level of empathy to feel guilty about what she had done for me. “But I think I’ll be fine in a few days.”

“I wouldn’t have lasted to the end without your help. Thank you.”

Lexi gave a slight nod. “It’s been worth it. It really has been. You can be proud of what you’ve done in the tomb. And you were right – it was easy to find out who was worth saving.”

“Yeah,” I whispered, immediately thinking about Amiel. “... for most of them.”

“Stefan and I will take care of Amiel, and Anna and Pearl promised to take care of Harper. We’ll know it when they slip.”

I nodded. I didn’t want to worry about it. Not now.

“Why have you never asked me about my record?” asked Lexi. “You must have thought about it. I know you well enough to tell.”

“I was afraid of what I would hear,” I admitted. “If you had killed a hundred people or something... it wouldn’t compare to the good you’ve done, but it would make it more difficult for me... it’s already hard with Stefan... there are times when I remember what he’s done, and it feels like it’s all a lie, everything I’m doing, and I’m trapped because I love him, I can’t get out, but he’ll snap back eventually, and everything will go to hell...” I bit onto my lip, hard enough to taste blood. “Knowing what he has done is... it’s...” My voice trailed off. “It’s the worst thing about my life,” I whispered eventually because that was the truth. Even though it wasn’t about myself, even though it was decades away, the mere knowledge of what Stefan had used to be like had been the worst part of my life, ever since I had learned about it.

“Are you disappointed now?”

“Disappointed?” I echoed, feeling the immediate urge to defend her. “About two mistakes in three-hundred years? Have you ever met a vampire with a better record?”

“No,” said Lexi. “But that doesn’t mean you’re not disappointed. Don’t lie to yourself because you want to be fair to me, Elena. I can handle the truth.”

I felt my eyes watering.

“Maybe I was disappointed,” I whispered as the tears hit my cheek. Only then did I realize how true it was. I closed my eyes. “You’re right,” I confessed, “I was disappointed, even though it doesn’t make sense. I was hoping... if Jeremy turns... or if Caroline loses it... that there would be at least one case of a vampire who’s perfect... who proves that it’s possible... and I didn’t want to lose that hope...”

“Do you want to know about them?”

I nodded. “I do,” I whispered. “If you’re willing to tell me.”

Lexi bowed her head. “I was turned in 1680,” she began. “The first one was in December of the same year. I didn’t have any idea yet of how to feed safely. My maker never taught me anything. So, I just broke into a random house to get food. I thought he was alone, but he had a daughter. She came in while I fed on him. I stopped, went to her, and apologized. She asked me what I was doing, and I explained it to her. I told her what I was, that I needed to eat, and that I wouldn’t harm either of them. And while I was still with her, he struck me from behind. He had a spiked club; I think it was hanging on the walls somewhere, maybe just for decoration. He almost killed me, but I managed to fend him off. When I disarmed him, I asked him why. He must have heard me talk to her. He knew I didn’t want either of them dead, that I had to feed, even that I hadn’t chosen to be a vampire. He said I was demon’s spawn, that I was evil through and through, that I would burn in hell for eternity once I was dead, that he regretted that he hadn’t been able to send me there himself. I could have compelled him to shut up. That’s what I should have done. But I responded. I argued with him. I wanted him to admit that he had been wrong to attack me. And even his daughter had understood. But he didn’t. Eventually, I told him that he could either apologize or I would kill her while he was watching. He refused. So I bit her. I didn’t mean to do it. I never meant to hurt her; I just wanted to scare him. But I started drinking more of her blood, and I was so angry, and I didn’t have myself under control, and when I stopped, she was dead. I took her body away and compelled her father to remember that it was his fault. He had made me do it, and I wanted him to suffer for it. But the next day, I came back and changed it, making him remember that it was an accident.

“Her name was Lea. She was nine. And over three hundred years later, I still dream about her. Last time was the night of Stefan’s birthday. I still know exactly what her face looks like.

“I hadn’t even made it through the first year as a vampire without killing someone. I didn’t get the idea to feed on animals until much later. Otherwise, I might have done it then. I thought I would never be able to control myself. But I was much more careful ever since that day, and for over a hundred years, I didn’t kill anyone else, although it was close many times. The second one happened in 1798. I was living in Paris at the time. He was an old man. Sixty-one years. I didn’t take that much from him. I didn’t lose control. I didn’t do anything wrong, nothing worse than on any other day. But he had a heart attack while I was still feeding on him. I tried giving him my blood, but it was too late. His name was Frederick. Sometimes, I also dream about him.

“Since then, I’ve always asked people about their health before I fed on them. Even so, there were several times when I almost killed again. And there was one time when I almost died because the man had vervain in his system, and he tried to stake me once I was weak. I was lucky. I’ve been lucky so many times, Elena. I wouldn’t be here otherwise. I’m not as careful as you are. Eventually, as you know, I stopped feeding off of people altogether.”

“Thank you,” I whispered. “Thank you for telling me.”

“And last night,” whispered Lexi, “I might have killed the third innocent person.”

I didn’t have to ask whom she was talking about.

“You could have let me do it,” I said quietly. “I could have handled one more.”

“Maybe. But then, it would have been even worse for you. In the end, I don’t think it matters. And these things do get better with time.”

At that point, we both said nothing for a while. Eventually, Lexi slid off the bed.

“Elizabeth wants to talk to you,” she whispered. “And I think a few of the others do, too.”

I nodded. “She can come. But please, tell everyone else who asks to wait.”

* * *

Elizabeth showed up less than a minute after Lexi had left. When she stepped through the door, I realized for the first time just how much the tomb had changed the appearance of those trapped inside of it. Elizabeth was far less pale than I had remembered, and her hair was pitch black and curly, not flat and gray like it had been in the tomb. Even in its current state, it still reached far past her shoulders.

“May I?” she asked. I nodded, and Elizabeth approached the bed, kneeling down in front of it so that we were at the same height.

“How are you?” she asked. I was relieved that she was whispering without me asking her to – I didn’t like the idea of the other vampires overhearing us.

“I think I’ll be fine,” I murmured, thinking about what Lexi had said. “With enough time. I’m not there yet.”

“What you have done would be hard for anyone who still feels compassion,” whispered Elizabeth, looking down as she did so. “I cannot begin to imagine what it must feel like.”

“There was one,” I whispered, following an instinct. “One vampire. Bethanne. She... when I woke her up, she murmured the name of someone I had already killed. All she wanted to know was if he was alright. I decided that she had to die, without even finding out what she thought about humans. I can still hear her voice. ‘Frederick... Frederick... Frederick... where is he?’ She is... the one I think about the most. Maybe it wasn’t right.”

“Love is real,” whispered Elizabeth, who hadn’t made a sound throughout the story. “Freeing her would have put your own life at risk. But do not feel guilty about your choice, Elena. You gave us a chance to go free. Even if Bethanne was innocent, you still offered twenty-five of us a fair chance to live, as supposed to none of us – which is what many would have done in your stead.”

“Thank you,” I murmured, somewhat surprised – this almost felt like something I could have come up with to make myself feel better, and it was genuinely comforting. “Still,” I continued, involuntarily rubbing my eyes, “I’ve dreamt about her both times I’ve fallen asleep since then. Even if you’re right, it’s hard not to blame myself.”

“Are you still tired?” asked Elizabeth, and I nodded.

“Stefan said I’ve slept for twelve hours after everything was done, but it still wasn’t enough. I think I need to rest more before I go meet the others. But it’s scary. I don’t want to see myself killing her again.”

“If you want...” Elizabeth hesitated. “... I could help you with... with your nightmares. Vampires can affect the dreams of each other. Though,” she added, and now she sounded a bit like the very first time she had spoken to me, when she had still thought I was Katherine, “I realize that you might not trust me to invade your mind.”

This idea had not occurred to me. I knew that vampires had this power – Stefan had mentioned it at some point, I couldn’t remember when – but it required him to stay awake while I slept, so I had never seen much use for it.

I shook my head. “I trust you. And it would be a big help. But... wouldn’t it require you to be there the entire time?”

“It’s no trouble,” whispered Elizabeth. “And I don’t think I’ll have to stay in this room. It has more reach than that, and walls don’t matter.”

I thought about it, then decided to accept the offer.

“Alright,” I whispered. “Um, thank you. Really.” I made a pause. “... can I ask you something?”

Elizabeth nodded.

“How old are you?”

“Two hundred and ninety-one. But over half of that was spent in the tomb. I was born in 1718. Turned in 1744.”

“Do tomb years make you stronger?”

Elizabeth shook her head. “I was wondering as much myself, but sadly, the answer appears to be no, unless things will change in the coming days. From what I can tell, I seem to be exactly as strong as when I was trapped in the tomb, and I have been told by Lexi that the difference should be substantial, no less noticeable than that of the first hundred years. That means I still have a mere hundred and twenty years worth of strength as a vampire.”

“And... you know I’m seventeen?”

Elizabeth nodded again. “This is why I have thought it safe to make you this offer. Given your age, it should be easy for me to get into your head while you are sleeping.”

“Makes sense,” I murmured. I felt more tired by the minute and was about to ask her to do it now, when I remembered something.

I looked back at her.

“... can I ask you for something else?”

Elizabeth smiled and nodded again.

“I want Katherine to think that everyone who used to be in the tomb is dead. So, um...”

“Do you want me to stay in this house for now?”

“Not in this _house_ , necessarily, but... if you could not show yourself in Mystic Falls for a while...”

“Not a problem,” whispered Elizabeth. “I promise I won’t show myself until you think it’s no longer necessary.”

“Thank you.” I shifted around in the bed, trying to get comfortable. “Can you also help me fall asleep?”

“I think so – although, that would require me staying here for a while. Only until you’re asleep, of course..”

“Yeah, that’s fine. Um... go ahead, please.”

“What do you want to dream about?” asked Elizabeth.

That question caught me off guard – somehow, I had forgotten that ‘pleasant dreams’ didn’t imply any particular topic.

“Something peaceful...” I whispered. “Something with nature... without any other people...” My mind drifted toward the trip we had made on the day Lexi had arrived. “Mountains... I would love mountains.”

I closed my eyes. It took a few seconds, then I felt it. Something soft, gentle, pulling my mind down... far down...

I fell asleep in under a minute.


	29. Aftermath, #3

_In my dreams, I was ascending a grand mountain at human speed. In the background was a vast range of summits, stretching all the way to the horizon’s edge where it merged seamlessly into the sky. Everything was beautifully crisp, beautifully clean, and beautifully silent._

_I took step after step, enjoying the feeling of mild physical strain, and I felt as though, at last, I was truly and entirely satisfied with the world._

When I woke up, it took a while for me to remember that I was presently in a situation that was not _bad_ by any means, but that was _complicated,_ with a myriad of things that could go wrong in the future. I had to remind myself of this, because just a moment ago, it had felt like everything was so simple and stable...

In fact, ‘stable’ was the precise opposite of my current circumstances. By freeing six vampires from the tomb, I had potentially done a lot of good, but also potentially done a lot of harm. It was entirely possible that dozens of people would end up dying because of what I had done.

However, no-one had died so far. And it might all come down to the coming days.

I would have to talk to Stefan and Lexi and really work out a plan. Stefan had said everyone was in the boarding house for now. That was good. Perhaps the fact that they had over a century worth of technology to catch up on would be enough to keep them satisfied here for a while, but we still had to work out a permanent solution.

Then, there was Katherine. That was still the most pressing issue. If we could catch her, that might also help us retain the respect of the others... but we would have to figure out what to do with her once we were successful.

More urgently, we would have to find a way to make sure that the news of what had occured didn’t reach Katherine’s ears. Zach had been instructed to tell her that we had killed every last vampire in the tomb, and I intended for her to keep believing that.

Lastly, there was the thing Amiel had said, back in the tomb. Werewolves. I had never asked Stefan about supernatural creatures besides vampires and witches, which now felt like an oversight on my part. But at least that one could wait. Nothing Amiel had said was a reason to believe that they would become relevant anytime soon.

At this point, my thoughts were interrupted by someone knocking on the door. I tensed up a bit. Another tomb vampire?

I threw back the blanket and sat down at the edge of the bed.

“Come in.”

It was Pearl. I recognized her face immediately; it was the last thing I had seen before I had passed out. Despite her rudimentary clothing (there probably hadn’t yet been an opportunity to acquire personalized outfits), she had an aura of elegance around her, with her tall stature, her long, black hair, and her gorgeous facial features.

She wasn’t as beautiful as Anna, but then, no-one was.

I also noticed that she was wearing the necklace Anna had mentioned. Among all the twenty-six vampires in the tomb, she had been the only one with the power to walk in the sun – a testament to just how rare it really was.

“May I talk to you, Elena?” asked Pearl, sounding friendly.

“Yes,” I whispered. “But let’s be quiet, please. Maybe it’s because I’m new, but I’m not comfortable with everyone in the house hearing conversations in this room.”

Pearl pointed to the bed; I nodded, and she sat down beside me. I immediately felt nervous; even though Anna was now, by all intents and purposes, older than her mother, I had felt less intimidated talking to her. Perhaps it was the mere fact that Anna, despite her actual age, still looked as if she were eighteen.

“That’s quite understandable,” whispered Pearl. “Especially if you’re living in a house with so many other people.”

I tried to come up with a response, but couldn’t think of one, and then Pearl spoke up again.

“Annabelle has told me about your role in freeing me from the tomb. I’ve come to say thank you.”

I nodded, accepting her gratitude. “I’m glad I could help you,” I whispered, “I really am. Although...”

“You’re worried about the other vampires you freed?”

I nodded again.

“I have turned Harper, as I’m sure you know. He has always been loyal to us. I will do what I can to make sure he does not kill anyone in the future – if that is what you want.”

“Yes,” I whispered, “please do, if you can.”

“I have also turned Jacob and Ethan, as I’m sure you know as well. Given what your judgment was based on, I cannot claim to be surprised that neither of them is with us now.”

I had forgotten about Ethan until now. I tried to tell myself that Pearl wouldn’t be here if someone hadn’t made sure she wasn’t angry at me, but it didn’t quite work. What if no-one had thought about it?

“I’m very sorry for your loss,” I whispered, not daring to look at her.

“A price I am willing to pay for my freedom,” whispered Pearl, and I tried my best to hide my relief. “You don’t have to worry – I won’t be seeking revenge. And I am grateful that you have spared Harper.”

I nodded for a third time, vividly aware of the fact that Pearl would have noticed my rapidly beating heart.

“Is there anything else I can do?” asked Pearl, and I gathered the courage to look at her.

“... yes,” I whispered eventually. “... but... if I may ask... what is your relationship with Katherine? Given that you were imprisoned and she wasn’t?”

“Fortunately for you, I no longer have any sympathy for your doppelganger. Katherine has done nothing to free us, even though most of the vampires have been turned by her hand.”

“I have been told that Katherine wants all tomb vampires dead,” I revealed.

“That is possible,” whispered Pearl vaguely. “Even though we have been friends for centuries, I don’t doubt that Katherine would let me die if she thought it in her interest.”

It dawned on me that Pearl probably knew a lot of things she wasn’t telling me – but as long as what she had told me was accurate, that should be enough.

“We’ve burnt twenty of the twenty-six bodies in the tomb,” I whispered. “And we’ve left the ashes there. It seems pretty unlikely that Katherine will examine the pile and conclude it’s too small for twenty-six bodies – but I do think she’ll send someone to check that there _is_ a pile. And if I’m right-”

“-she’ll believe we’re all dead?” finished Pearl for me.

“Yes, I think so. This is also what Zach will tell her. She doesn’t know about Anna, so she won’t be surprised to hear that we supposedly killed you as well, and she does know that I value human life. I expect her to think it’s plausible that I’ve killed all of the vampires for the greater good. If we have six vampires on our side that she thinks are dead, that could be... helpful.”

“Of course, if you are, in fact, right about what she wants,” whispered Pearl, “then it would appear that all six of us have more than enough reason to keep quiet for our own sake.”

I nodded. “That’s true. ... has Anna told you about Isobel?”

“Yes. Annabelle told me about every person in this house, including your mother.”

“She’s the one who told me what Katherine wants. Unfortunately, she hasn’t told me why. I don’t think she’s lying, but I don’t want the other five to know about her. I hope Anna has made sure not to be overheard when she told you?”

“Yes, I am fairly certain no-one heard us.” Pearl made a pause. “Do you want me to convince the others that Katherine wants them dead, and that it is in their interest to hide?”

“I wasn’t going to ask _that_ – I only wanted to ask that _you_ don’t show yourself, and perhaps keep Harper from doing it. But if you do believe me – well, your word would probably count for a lot. I mean, I certainly think it would help. You can also ask Isobel yourself if you don’t trust me.”

Pearl shook her head. “That will not be necessary. I’ll see what I can do.”

“Will you keep hidden yourself?” I asked carefully.

“Just in Mystic Falls?” asked Pearl, and I nodded. “For how long?”

“Maybe a week?” I suggested. “I realize it’s not a small ask, given what you’ve been through...”

“And after that week?”

“I’ll try to _hurry_ in catching Katherine.”

“You think you can catch Katherine in a week?”

“I think it’s possible,” I whispered. “The situation with Zach offers us a way to feed her arbitrary information, as long as we can make it sound believable. I haven’t had time to think about it yet, and I don’t think it’ll be easy, but I do think there’s a way to lay a trap.”

“I see what Annabelle meant,” whispered Pearl vaguely. “Very well, Elena. I will avoid Mystic Falls for at least a week, and I will make sure Harper does as well. In cases like these, a group only survives if everyone is working together, and what you suggest is reasonable. I am not so much of a fool as to be unafraid of Katherine, not now that she has gained one and a half centuries on me.”

“Thank you,” I whispered. “You don’t have to bring it up first; I’ll talk to the others.” _Or,_ I corrected myself in thought only, _I’ll probably have Stefan do it._

“Is there anything else you want?” asked Pearl.

“Maybe help out if any of the three newborns in this house accidentally attacks someone,” I murmured, giving the hint of a smile. “That includes me. But other than that, no.”

Pearl nodded. “I’ll do my best to prevent accidents if I see them.” Another pause. “Well then.” She stood up from the bed. “It appears I’ll be staying in this house for a while. Thankfully, Annabelle and I have already been offered our own room. One last thing...”

“Yes?”

“Be careful with Amiel. I don’t believe he shares the compassion of the rest of us. This, you can consider a personal favor.”

I nodded. “Thank you.”

Pearl left, and I noticed myself relaxing. This had gone better than I had expected. First and foremost, Pearl didn’t hate me for killing the two vampires she had turned. But more than that, her promise that she and Harper wouldn’t show themselves had come as a relief.

Stefan and I would still have to ask the remaining four, but the truth was that I had probably just solved most of the problem. Pearl was Asian and unusually beautiful, and Harper was black; both of them would stand out in Mystic Falls and could plausibly attract Katherine’s attention. On the other hand, Amiel and Henry were white American men with short hair, and neither had a particularly noticeable face. Similarly, Emilia just looked like a regular middle-aged woman. Even if Katherine had compelled someone to specifically look out for them, and even if that person were to see them walk into the grill, there probably was no textual description that would single them out among everyone else, absent further clues from their behavior.

And I doubted that Katherine had photographs. I didn’t even know if photography had existed in 1864.

Elizabeth might pose a greater risk, just because Katherine could instruct someone to look for ‘a small woman with very long hair’, or something like that. However, given the warm attitude she had shown me earlier, it seemed unlikely that she of all people would disregard the request.

I had just enough time to consider finally going downstairs myself, before another knock came from the door.

“Come in,” I said automatically. I saw with some relief that it was none other than Elizabeth.

“Sorry to disturb you again,” whispered the older vampire. “If it’s not a good time, I can-”

I shook my head. “You can sit on the bed if you take off your shoes,” I offered. It was much more comfortable than sitting on the edge.

Elizabeth nodded, did as I asked, and sat down cross-legged in front of me.

“Thank you,” I whispered, “for the dream thing. It was so nice. I’ve never quite felt like that. And it really helped.”

“You’re welcome,” whispered Elizabeth warmly, “I enjoyed thinking of the scenery myself. I miss being in the sun. I, um...” She made a pause. “I wanted to talk to you about blood... if that’s alright.”

I made a questioning face.

“In my old life, I used to feed on animals. But you’ve given me human blood when you woke me up, and that got me wondering... given how the world has changed, what is the best way forward? Is what you call donor blood without cost?”

“No,” I whispered, now feeling an even stronger sense of appreciation for the older vampire. I had a crazy amount of respect for anyone willing to forgo human blood, especially now that I knew what drinking it felt like. “Donor blood is used in hospitals to treat patients, and it’s pretty valuable. The cost is more indirect, but if you take it seriously, drinking donor blood for a year may do more harm than accidentally killing someone. Lexi is a bit of an exception because she often gets supplied with blood that would otherwise be thrown away because it’s past its expiration date or something. But that only works because she knows people in hospitals all over the country.”

Elizabeth seemed surprised by this answer, and I wondered if she was too polite to ask why we had been using it then.

“Up until a week ago, Stefan’s been the only vampire I knew,” I whispered, deciding to answer the unspoken question, “and he drinks animal blood. My transition has been forced on us, and I also hadn’t realized how problematic donor blood really is until I looked into it more. So, I haven’t had time yet to figure out a better solution... but still, if you’re asking whether a donor blood diet is an ethical lifestyle, the answer is no. Animals are better, even though...”

I gave a somewhat strained sigh, rubbing my eyes.

“I don’t actually think animals are a good solution, either. I take animal’s lives and animal suffering seriously. Before I turned, I was a vegetarian. But you have to eat _something_ , and I certainly think killing animals is better than the alternative. Usually, I would be all about figuring out something better,” I added – somewhat defensively, even though Elizabeth hadn’t voiced any sign of disapproval (or, indeed, said anything to interrupt me). “But with the tomb and now Katherine, it’s never been the priority.”

Elizabeth nodded. “I have been worried that it is wrong to kill animals as well,” she whispered, which came as quite the surprise. “But I did not expect to hear you say so. Has it become a larger concern in the world?”

“Larg _er_ ,” I whispered, “not large. I think around two percent of people in America don’t eat meat. Was it even a thing before 1864?”

“It was – barely. The Vegetarian Society was a charity in Britain founded in 1847. It was one of the best things I have learned when I...”

She bit her lip.

“I am sorry,” she whispered, though I didn’t quite understand what she was referring to. “In any case, I believe the term originated around that time...” She took a breath. “I suppose I will continue to live on animals then, for now. But do let me know if you find a better solution. And... if I do switch back, I will no longer be able to influence your dreams. A hundred and twenty years will not be enough to make up for a difference between human and animal blood.”

I opened my mouth to say something but then thought better of it.

“Please, don’t let that influence you,” I whispered instead. “You couldn’t do it that much anyway – you need to sleep, too. But... you might still want to stay on donor blood for a while longer, for different reasons.”

“Different reasons?”

“Katherine. I think she wants all tomb vampires dead – I don’t know why, but it puts you in danger. The plan is to make her believe you’re all dead already – to do this, I was going to ask you not to show up in Mystic Falls for now – but we don’t know what will happen. This might not be the time to weaken yourself. Maybe stay on donor blood for just a few more days? Or go out at night and find someone to compel.”

“I won’t show myself in Mystic Falls,” whispered Elizabeth immediately. “You have my word. But why do you-”

She stopped as yet another knock came from the door. We exchanged a look, and I shrugged.

“Come in,” I called, and Caroline entered the room.

“Oh,” she said as she saw us. “Sorry, I – I didn’t hear anyone, so I thought-”

I gestured for her to close the door. “I don’t like the everyone-in-the-house-who-wants-can-always-hear-you thing,” I whispered. “I think I’d rather get used to whispering all the time – I know it’s annoying, but the alternative is that everything you say can be overheard, and I bet that, if I tried to remember to whisper only when it’s important, I’d forget it eventually and reveal something.”

Caroline nodded. “Sure, yeah, that’s fine. Am I interrupting?”

I shook my head, then slid backward on the bed to make space for her. Caroline climbed on the bed, and Elizabeth moved a bit to the side. We were now sitting in a triangle formation, and, suddenly, I had a thought... even though I had only known her so briefly, and even though she wasn’t like Bonnie at all, perhaps-

“I just wanted to check in on you,” whispered Caroline, pulling me back to the present moment. “How are you?”

“I, um...” I thought about it. “... pretty good,” I decided. “Yeah, I was... I was bad initially... I had a super intense nightmare, it was really creepy, and then I woke up and was crazy hungry – don’t ever spend too much time without blood; it sucks. But I’m much better now.”

I noticed Caroline throwing a gaze at the older vampire, as if trying to decide what was okay to do in front of her, but then she leaned forward to give me a hug.

“I’m so proud of you,” she whispered over my shoulder. “And I’m so sorry I doubted you. I was totally wrong.”

“Thanks,” I whispered. “And not totally. I wouldn’t have made it without Lexi’s help. And there’s nothing to apologize for. It was honest to tell me. I appreciate that. I don’t want you to keep quiet out of fear of hurting me.”

We held onto each other for a while, then Caroline drew back.

Once again, I saw her throwing a look at Elizabeth, and I decided to try and play icebreaker.

“Elizabeth and I have been talking about Katherine,” I whispered. “I think you were about to ask something?”

“Yes,” whispered Elizabeth, “what is your plan? Do you expect her to simply forget about us after a while?”

I told her about Zach. “I don’t know how, yet,” I added, “but we have to lay a trap for her.”

“I hope you find a way,” whispered Caroline. “Do you think she’s the reason you had to suffer through this?” she asked, addressing Elizabeth.

“I have only met Katherine once myself,” whispered Elizabeth. “But Pearl indicated that she believed it. She’s been more reserved since we got out, but she’s said it when we were trapped... while we were still awake.”

_That’s interesting,_ I thought. _I didn’t realize she already thought this_ ** _before_** _I told her. She certainly didn’t make it sound like that earlier._

“She killed me,” whispered Caroline. “Me and Elena’s aunt, Jenna. She’s the reason why both of us turned.”

“And me,” I added. “All three of us turned because of her.”

“Do you regret it?” asked Elizabeth.

“No,” whispered Caroline, “no, I don’t – being a vampire is awesome. But that’s beside the point. Katherine didn’t know I had vampire blood in my system. She thought she had killed me. And while I wanted to turn anyway, it wasn’t supposed to happen like _this_.” She made a pause. “It doesn’t compare to what you’ve been through, of course,” she added. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

But Elizabeth shook her head. “It feels like I’ve been born the moment Elena gave me blood,” she whispered. “None of my old life feels real. It’s just a story I remember.”

I noticed Caroline throw a brief look at me. Then, neither of us said anything for a while.

“Something else,” whispered Elizabeth eventually. “I am grateful that you thought about buying clothes for all of the vampires you freed. Still-”

“That was Caroline’s idea,” I whispered, eager to give her credit.

“But Stefan didn’t allow me to choose what to buy,” added Caroline, “else you wouldn’t have ended up with this. You do want to buy something else, right?”

Elizabeth nodded. “Yes. Thank you, in any case – this is much better than having nothing. Still, this outfit is not... my style... or my size. It’s not important, but I’ve been told clothes are easy to come by these days, so I’ve been wondering...”

She was right, of course – she was wearing a simple shirt and jeans, both of which clearly above her size. Whoever had ended up buying the clothes had probably not bought enough of a range. Neither Caroline nor I were unusually tall, and yet, she was small compared to both of us.

“I don’t imagine I’ll be allowed to show you around, either,” whispered Caroline, an annoyed tone to her voice.

“Actually,” I whispered, “If you go together, I think that’s fine.”

Caroline turned to me, looking surprised. “Really? What about supervision?”

“Elizabeth’s one hundred and twenty years old. That’s not Lexi-level of strength, but I’d say it counts as supervision – at least for you; I’m less sure about Jenna and me. If you want to help make it even safer, you could drink animal blood for the day. We still have some in stock. Stefan says it lowers cravings.”

Caroline turned from me to the older vampire.

“Would that be okay? Could we...?”

Elizabeth smiled and nodded. “Though,” she added, “I do not have a daylight ring, and I assume you don’t, either?”

Caroline shook her head. “No, but that’s fine. Stores are open for a few hours after sunset at this time of year.”

“We would also have to visit a neighboring town,” whispered Elizabeth. “Elena doesn’t want the tomb vampires to show themselves in Mystic Falls.”

“That’s fine, too. It’ll take half an hour if we take a car.”

“The things you used to drive us to this house?” asked Elizabeth.

“Gosh,” whispered Caroline, “1864. I forgot. Yeah, those. I can drive one.” She giggled. “If you like clothes, you’ll love the trip. There’s so much more of a range than there used to be.” She turned toward me. “Can we go tonight?”

“Don’t see why not,” I whispered. “What time is it?”

“Around five.”

I nodded. “Go for it. And again, if you want to drink something before that, try animal blood.”

Caroline smiled and gave me another hug.

“Thanks, Elena,” she whispered.

“I will see you this evening, then,” whispered Elizabeth, and, somewhat unexpectedly, she slid off the bed. “Until then, I’ll leave you two to yourselves.” She put on her shoes and made for the door. “It was nice to meet you, Caroline.”

“You too,” whispered Caroline. “I can’t wait to get out of here.”

I couldn’t help but feel happy as I watched Elizabeth give Caroline a smile before she left.

“She’s great,” whispered Caroline, taking the words right out of my mouth.

“Yeah,” I whispered, “yeah, she really is. I like her a lot. It’s such a nice reward for all the horror I’ve been through. ...but,” I added after a while, “I’m worried about the others, minus Pearl and Henry. I don’t want Katherine to know that they’re out of the tomb, and I didn’t coordinate it well with Stefan yesterday. I think it’s time that I go down myself.”

“Please do,” whispered Caroline. “I’m bored,” she added upon my questioning look. There’s just nothing to do. I can’t leave the house – well, not until sunset, anyway – you’re up here, and Stefan is always busy.”

I nodded. “I’ll come. But, I need to take a shower first.”

“Right,” whispered Caroline, standing up. “I’ll leave you to it.”


	30. Aftermath, #4

When I stepped out of the bathroom (I had brought fresh clothes with me so I could leave fully dressed), I felt an increasing sense of detachment. Just yesterday, or so it felt like, I had fantasized about my future, about my role in improving the world... but it had just been Stefan and me. It had always just been Stefan and me. It didn’t feel like I had ever taken the first step to invite more vampires into our lives – and yet, now we were eleven.

 _Then again,_ I thought, _maybe nothing will come out of this. Maybe they’ll just stay here for a few days and then leave._

I could feel my heart beating uncomfortably fast as I approached the living room. I had no idea how the other vampires would react to me. Pearl had been kind, which had come as a relief, but that didn’t mean others would react in the same way. Either way, they had probably heard me already, and I didn’t want them to think I was scared, so I pressed down the handle and pushed open the door.

Inside, there were Stefan, Caroline, Pearl, Amiel, and Emilia. Amiel was sitting in front of a laptop, Stefan, Emilia, and Pearl were standing behind him, and Caroline was sitting at the other end of the room. Everyone looked up when I entered.

Amiel got up from his seat and approached me. Running on instinct, I offered him a hand, but rather than shaking it, he lifted it up with his own and lightly touched it with his lips, reminding me that he was from 1864.

“Elena,” he said, “thank you so much for saving me.”

“You’re welcome,” I replied automatically, and despite my feelings about him.

“Thank you,” echoed Emilia, and I responded with a nod.

“Can you use these things?” asked Amiel, pointing to the laptop.

“Worse than anyone else I know,” I replied, which was almost literally true, even though I had gotten somewhat better at it in the past few weeks. “I almost only use it to read.”

“Read what?” he asked. Involuntarily, I felt grateful to him for giving me an easy topic.

“Wikipedia, usually. It’s, um...” My knowledge of history was so poor that I didn’t know whether there had been written encyclopedias in 1864... probably? “... it’s a collection of articles about virtually every topic. They’re usually very good.”

“Can you show me?”

“Um... yes, alright.” The invitation was unmistakable, so I took his previous seat in front of the machine. It currently had a word processor open, with just one line typed in. I minimized it, then double-clicked on the firefox icon on the desktop. When it opened, I typed ‘Wikipedia’ into the search bar.

I turned around in my seat. “What topic?”

“Would they have an article on vampires?” asked Amiel.

“Yes,” I said, “and I’ve read it when I... first suspected they might be real. The article doesn’t think they’re real; it thinks they’re a mythical figure.”

“I’d like to see that,” said Amiel. Apparently, this had sparked Caroline’s interest as well, who now got up and walked across the room, taking a position next to Emilia.

“‘Vampires are mythological or folkloric beings who subsist by feeding on the life essence, generally in the form of blood, of living creatures, regardless of them being undead or a living person.’” I read aloud, having decided that not everyone was close enough to the screen to read for themselves. I felt a bit strange doing it but overruled the instinct and continued. “‘In folkloric tales, vampires often visited loved ones and caused mischief or deaths in the neighbourhoods they inhabited when they were alive. They wore shrouds and were often described as bloated and of ruddy or dark countenance. This is markedly different from modern fictional portrayals of gaunt, pale vampires beginning in the early 19th century. Although vampiric entities have been recorded in many cultures and according to speculation by literary historian Brian Frost that the belief in vampires and bloodsucking demons is as old as man himself, and may go back to prehistoric times, the term vampire was not popularized until the early 18th century, after an influx of vampire superstition into Western Europe from areas where vampire legends were frequent, such as the Balkans and Eastern Europe, although local variants were also known by different names, such as vampir in Serbia and Bulgaria, vry’... some complicated word, no idea how to pronounce that, ‘in Greece and... strigoi in Romania. This increased level of vampire superstition in Europe led to mass hysteria and in some cases resulted in corpses actually being staked and people being accused of vampirism.’”

I decided to stop there.

“The entire article is super long,” I added. “It’s got sections on history and fiction, and all sorts of stuff... it’s getting some things wrong and others right; I haven’t found a real pattern. But you can see, the article talks about superstition. It doesn’t think we’re real. And it says nothing about compulsion, anywhere.”

“How do they think we’re turned?” asked Pearl.

“It’s all over the place, but no-one has it right. Nowadays, the cliché is that you have to be bitten by another vampire, but this article says that people were worried about anyone who died to an animal. They had all of these religious practices to prevent people from turning... like putting coins on the eyes of the deceased before they bury them. There are some bizarre things in here, like this one part about letting a virgin boy ride on a virgin horse through a graveyard to find out which corpses are vampires.”

Caroline laughed at that, but no-one else did.

I turned back around. “There are recorded cases of vampire attacks,” I said slowly, which was something I had wondered about before. “They seem fairly credible. At least, they don’t contradict how we really work. There was this one case about, err... someone named Plogojowitz in 1720 or something... do you know about that? I guess that was...” I stopped. “Sorry, I’ve forgotten exactly how old you are.”

“That’s alright,” said Amiel. “I was born in 1767.”

“1754,” said Emilia.

“So, it was before your time. But did you hear about it?”

Both Emilia and Amiel shook their heads.

“I’ve met him,” said Pearl.

My eyes widened. “So it’s real? He killed... wait, you tell me what happened.”

The article claimed that Plogojowitz had died, returned as a vampire, asked his son for food, and killed him when he refused. Subsequently, he had killed some of his former neighbors.

“I’ve met him eight years after the incident,” said Pearl. “Plogojowitz was turned by a vampire named Trevor, in 1721.”

“Didn’t you say that was the vampire who turned you?” asked Stefan. It was addressed to Amiel, who bowed his head in response.

“The first thing he did was to return to his son and ask him for blood,” continued Pearl. “Unlike what was later reported, his son agreed to help him, but Plogojowitz couldn’t control himself and drained him to death. Afterward, he shut off his humanity and killed nine more people in the same town.”

“What-” Caroline and I began at the same time, and I stopped to let her finish.

“-happened to him?” asked Caroline.

At this point, the door opened, and Anna stepped inside.

“I killed him,” she said.

For a few moments, everyone remained silent, until Stefan asked the question that must have been on everyone’s mind.

“Why?”

“You can tell them,” said Pearl. “The secret got spoiled while we were in the tomb. They all know.”

“He wanted to walk in the sun,” said Anna, a moment after I had connected the dots. “But he thought mother was too powerful, so he tried to attack me instead. He wanted to take my amulet. He didn’t even have the patience to wait until I was asleep, not that I would have let that happen. He thought he could beat me.”

A shiver ran down my neck. Anna didn’t even bother to mention her own age. She was five hundred and seventy now, so she must have been... already closer to three centuries than two, at the time. I could imagine it well: an older man, ten years into his life as a vampire, already having murdered dozens, perhaps hundreds, now having the hubris to think he could beat this innocent-looking girl... this girl, who had the body of an eighteen-year-old, and even looked young for her age.

“In case you have forgotten,” said Pearl to everyone, “these artifacts only work for the vampire they’re made for. Annabelle’s amulet would not have granted him the power he wanted, even if he had succeeded in taking it from her.”

 _Unless he had killed her_ , I thought, wondering whether Pearl knew about this detail. Stefan had said almost no-one knew, so perhaps...

“What surprises me,” said Amiel after a while, “is that there aren’t more stories about us. Or are there?”

“There are plenty of stories,” I said, “but usually they’re presented as that: stories. And I’m sure many of them really are made-up. There aren’t a lot of cases that are reported as fact, like this one.”

“It’s the compulsion,” said Stefan. “The part no-one knows about. That’s what allows us to hide our tracks over and over again.”

“What do history books say about what happened in Mystic Falls?” asked Pearl.

“Confederate soldiers firing on a church with civilians inside,” said Stefan. “You won’t find a single mention of vampires.”

“Attitudes have changed a lot since then,” said Anna. “Nowadays, no-one believes in us anymore. You’ve heard the article. It’s all considered a myth now. That was different in 1864, and even more different in the early eighteenth century.”

“But the council still knows,” said Stefan. “They don’t talk to the public about it, but they know. Don’t make the mistake of revealing what you are in town.”

I thought quickly. We still had to ask everyone to not show up in town in the first place. Ideally, this should come from Stefan, but there was no way for me to communicate that to him without ruining the effect.

“We also have reason to believe that Katherine wants all of you dead,” I said, deciding that doing this now, while everyone was still here, was more important than building up Stefan’s image. “If you show up in town, even if you don’t reveal what you are, Katherine might have compelled someone to notify her. Right now, she thinks that all of you are already dead. We should make her keep believing that.”

“How do you know that?” asked Amiel.

I opened my mouth to formulate a response but then stopped.

_Crap, what am I going to say? I don’t want to-_

“That’s not really your business,” said Stefan sharply, and I suppressed a sigh of relief.

“Can you promise not to show up in Mystic Falls?” I asked outright. “For a week, say.”

“Certainly,” said Amiel, “provided you have enough blood for that time.”

“We will,” said Stefan before I could.

I turned to Emilia.

“Even if you’re not afraid of her, exposing yourself might put the rest of the group in danger,” said Pearl. “If Katherine learns that one of us is still alive, she will suspect that others are as well. This can only work if we all stick together.”

“Alright,” said Emilia, “I promise.”

I bit my lip. I usually prided myself in planning things in advance, but this time, I had failed spectacularly at doing that. Stefan had reacted well, considering, and Pearl’s loyalty was an invaluable asset – so it was probably fine, but only because I had gotten lucky. I had to do better from now on.

“Can I try?” asked Amiel.

It took me a moment to realize what I meant; as soon as I did, I got up from the seat, offering it to him.

“Yeah, sure.”

“How do I look at another article?” he asked, and I directed him to the search field. He had to scan the entire keyboard for every letter, but eventually, he managed to type in ‘Mystic Falls’.

I looked at Stefan, trying to meet his gaze. When I did, I made a nod toward the other room. It was a tall ask for him to understand what I meant, which made me all the more thankful when he did.

“Harper, Henry, Elizabeth,” he said loudly. “Can you come here?”

I heard noises from the other room and only then realized that there had been a television running this entire time. My hearing was good enough to understand every word when I focused on it, but up until now, I had screened it all out, which was evidently what my brain did by default.

I had always insisted on whispering during private conversations – and I would continue doing that – but now I realized that, if the others were like me, they were unlikely to hear it either way.

Then again, perhaps they weren’t like me. Perhaps with a hundred years of experience, you could continuously pay attention to several things at once.

All three of the requested people showed up; they must have all been in the neighboring room. Stefan explained the situation in a few words and repeated the request for them to lay low for a week. Unlike me, he phrased it as an order, not a question.

Elizabeth agreed at once, and, to my delight, without mentioning that I had already asked her before.

“Only a week?” asked Henry. “What about after that?”

“If Katherine is still out there, we’ll reconsider,” said Stefan. “But for now, stay out of Mystic Falls for at least a week.”

“... alright,” said Henry with some delay.

“Do you think this is a good idea?” asked Harper, addressing Pearl. He seemed to be much less intimidated by Stefan than Henry was.

“I do,” said Pearl. “We should give our hosts at least some time to take care of the problem before we make it harder for them. Plus, it is a small price to pay for our freedom and safety, wouldn’t you agree?”

Harper nodded. “Alright,” he echoed Henry. “Is that all?”

When Stefan nodded, Harper left the room, shortly followed by the other two. I suppressed a sigh of relief; despite my screw-up, this was going really well, at least so far.

Now, all we had to do was catch Katherine within the next seven days.

“How do I read the rest?” asked Amiel, and I turned my head.

“You have to scroll down,” answered Caroline before I could, grabbing the mouse to show him.

* * *

“Elena?” said Caroline, who had since moved back to her position on the couch. “Do you want to go to the other room?” she asked as I approached. It was apparent that she was bored; it had been over an hour, much of which had been spent mentoring Amiel about how to use the machine, though there had also been some discussion about what had happened since 1864, inspired by the Mystic Falls article. Emilia had remained quiet for most of it, and Pearl and Anna had left the room at some point.

I nodded. The atmosphere had become fairly relaxed, enough so that it felt okay to leave without announcing it. In the other room were Jenna, Harper, and Henry, all of them staring at the screen. Caroline and I took a seat on the couch next to Jenna.

It took me about a minute to realize that what was running appeared to be an episode of a romance series; nothing I recognized. I had to suppress a laugh when I stole a glance at the two tomb vampires, who seemed to be following the action with utmost interest. For someone who had never watched television before, the most poorly written show would probably be fascinating. I also understood why Caroline preferred being here to watching Amiel figure out how a laptop worked – she might have even followed the plot from the other room.

I indulged in the experience for around ten minutes before my mind wandered off. I had never had much patience for television, and now that I was in what had felt like a high stakes situation just an hour ago, watching a soapy drama seemed like a hard sell for the best use of my time. On the other hand, none of the tomb vampires appeared to be interested in causing problems, and most of them seemed content with slacking off for a while – and was that really surprising? For them, the time in the tomb must have been an experience of gradually slipping into unconsciousness while going through various stages of agony... and the ones that were now free had been selected for not caring about revenge.

But still. I had better things to do, like coming up with a plan to catch Katherine.

I focused back on the action for long enough to estimate that we were probably near the end of the episode. I resolved to stay until then so that my departure would appear more diplomatic, and then get some time in my room to think things through. But before we got there, the door was opened, and Anna stepped inside.

“Elena?” she asked, evidently not shy to interrupt the viewing experience. “I’d like to talk to you. Unless you want to...” she gave a nod to the screen.

I shook my head without thinking, got up from the couch, and bridged the distance at vampire speed so as not to block vision for anyone.

“Can we go to your room?” whispered Anna after she had closed the door.

“Um, yeah,” I whispered. “Wait,” I then added, as Anna took the first steps.

“Yes?”

“How many people can you hear right now? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Hold on,” whispered Anna. She stood still, and her face focused in concentration. I waited... it took almost a minute, time which I used to stare at her angelic profile.

“Thirteen, including you.”

“What?” I whispered without thinking. “But that’s... all of them. Did you really count, or do you just know that...”

“I counted.”

“Fucking hell,” I murmured, which Anna seemed to take as a cue to lead the way. _She is the oldest one, and she did say she has unusually good hearing,_ I reminded myself as I followed her. Even so, it was deeply, deeply humbling. I could have perhaps lower-bounded the number of people by six or seven based on listening, mostly due to the people in the two neighboring rooms. To isolate each source, including cases where several people were in the same room, precisely enough to count... I had expected her abilities to exceed mine, but not by _that_ much.

At least she couldn’t hear Isobel.

“I wanted to thank you,” whispered Anna without preamble, as soon as we were in the deceptive safety of Stefan’s and my bedroom. “You’ve held up your end of the deal. And I respect what you did in the tomb. You’ve fought for what you thought was right, at great cost to yourself. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you more of what I knew about them, but I can tell you that it wouldn’t have made a difference. None of the vampires that I knew had blood on their hands have made it.”

“Thank you for saying that,” I whispered coyly. Justified or not, it did feel special to hear this from Anna.

“And I’ve contacted the witch, as I’ve promised. She’ll arrive here tomorrow evening. I’ve arranged with Stefan to transfer her a few thousand dollars as payment. She’s flying in from Canada.”

“Oh... good.” I made a pause. “Did she say whether she was going to make daylight rings for the others?” I asked, but Anna shook her head.

“She said she only owes me enough for one. I’m sorry. But perhaps you can change her mind when she’s here. She’s worried about what they will do if they get one. I think you would find her concerns reasonable. If you can convince her that Caroline and Jenna won’t hurt anyone...”

I nodded. “I’ll try.”

This was followed by a bit of an uncomfortable silence – at least, uncomfortable for me. Out of everyone in this house, Anna was still the person most prone to make me nervous.

“Caroline won’t be happy if she doesn’t get one,” I whispered, simply because that was the first thing that had come to mind. “How did you meet Plogojowitz?” I then asked – another thing that had just come to mind, which had the advantage of being a question.

“Mother and I investigated a series of murders,” whispered Anna. “Back then, if things got too out of hand, witches have tended to interfere. It’s not good for us if that happens. Sometimes, innocent vampires get killed in the process. If you’re smart and you see the signs of an unhinged vampire, you either move away or take it upon yourself to stop him. We didn’t want to move, so we decided to put an end to it ourselves.”

Her words left a bit of a bitter taste in my mouth. Anna had said nothing about stopping the murders to save lives, and, of course, she didn’t care because she hadn’t been the one committing them. I had to be careful not to idealize her; her way of thinking had consequences I didn’t like, and I didn’t want to look away from that.

Then again, she _had_ interfered, even if it was for the wrong reasons.

 _And it explains how it happened_ , I thought. _I was wondering if it was just a coincidence. The chance for two vampires to meet by accident is so low... it’s happened with Stefan and Lexi, but it was only one time, and even then, it was in the middle of a civil war, so not purely by chance._

I was still brooding when someone was knocking on the door. I winced.

“Um, come in,” I said, trying to get a grasp on the sudden feeling of anxiety that had been triggered by what Anna had said. I still wasn’t used to mood swings being this sudden.

Jenna and Caroline entered. “Henry can watch TV by himself,” murmured Jenna as she sat down on the bed.

“What’s going on?” asked Caroline.

“I, um...” I began inelegantly. After a moment of thought, I decided to tell them about the witch, since that was what impacted them the most. “I’m sorry,” I added, addressing Jenna and Caroline. “I’m really concerned about not killing anyone, and _I_ think you guys should have daylight rings. Maybe we can convince her.”

“We’re family.” whispered Jenna, “and Caroline is your best friend. I don’t think she’ll take your opinion at face value.”

“As long as you try,” whispered Caroline. “If she refuses, it’s not your fault. Speaking of family,” she added, “what happens with Jeremy? Shouldn’t he still be going to school?”

“Caroline, _we_ should still be going to school,” I reminded her, wondering if she had changed topics on purpose.

“I know that. But he’s not a vampire.”

“-yet.”

“Do you think he wants to turn?”

“Do you think he’ll want to be the only non-vampire in his family?”

We both looked at Jenna.

“Maybe you should ask Lexi,” she murmured. “She’s done more parenting lately than I have.” Jenna sighed. “I don’t know what to do with him. I know we can’t go back to our house, now that Katherine has been invited in – or even if she hadn’t, it clearly didn’t stop her.”

“I haven’t talked to him about turning since I’ve been abducted,” I whispered. “Have you?”

“Nope,” whispered Jenna.

“I have,” whispered Anna, and everyone looked at her. “He wants to.”

“Great,” whispered Jenna, the sarcasm in her voice unmistakable. “Good thing I’m hearing about this now.”

“He didn’t tell me, either,” I pointed out.

“Of course he didn’t,” whispered Caroline. “You’re always going on about how vampires are dangerous and how everyone should plan their transition carefully. You would never agree to him turning while the three of us are still new.”

“And I’m _right_ about that – I know you have superpowers, but you know how difficult it is for the rest of us.”

“Not saying you’re wrong, just explaining to you why he would rather talk to Anna.”

That made me laugh.

“What?” asked Caroline and Anna at the same time.

“I’m sorry – didn’t mean to, it’s just... I imagine Jeremy wanted someone to agree with him, and he knew I wouldn’t, and Jenna probably wouldn’t, either, and Lexi – well, I suppose she would tell him to wait-”

“She _did_ tell him to wait,” whispered Anna. “He’s asked her before.”

That made me laugh again.

“Sorry,” I apologized again. “My point was just that I think it’s easy to project things onto you, just because you don’t rub your opinion into people’s faces. But I have no clue what you actually think about it, and I doubt Jeremy does.”

“I think he needs a better reason for wanting to be a vampire than jealousy and teenage drama,” whispered Anna.

“... and it’s funny that you’re stalking everyone.”

“I wasn’t stalking him,” whispered Anna. “I wasn’t even in the same room. He was just talking loud enough for me to hear it.”

“Anna apparently can hear well enough to follow conversations in other rooms without even trying,” I whispered for the benefit of everyone else. Anna just shrugged.

“So, you’re saying it’s unintentional stalking,” whispered Caroline.

“It’s not stalking,” whispered Anna, and I noticed with some satisfaction that I had finally succeeded in making her display an emotion.

“In any case,” I whispered, “Lexi thinks turning at fifteen is a terrible idea...”

“She’s right,” whispered Anna.

“... so we really can’t let him. I’m all-in on trying to cheat death, but he can wait a bit longer before locking in his physical age for the rest of time – I don’t think seventeen is ideal, either, but I don’t get to choose anymore. Jeremy still does. ...um, by the way – something else – Jenna...”

“Yes?”

“If you’re looking for things to do, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you – since we’ve captured Isobel, actually.”

Jenna gave me a questioning look.

“It seems like there are message boards on the internet where people talk about vampires – and some of them know about vervain. I thought it would make sense to have someone look into that.”

“What site?” asked Jenna.

“I don’t know. Can’t you just... do... a broad... search...”

My voice trailed off.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, “I have no clue how difficult stuff like that is.”

“You’re not wrong,” whispered Jenna. “You can do a broad search. I mean, it depends on how niche it is. If it’s, like, a tiny community somewhere, I might not find it.”

“So, are you going to look?”

Jenna sighed. “Why not. My study program is a disaster now, anyway. Without a daylight ring, there’s no way to salvage the semester.”

“Good. Um, thanks.” I paused. “There’s... something else,” I whispered carefully. “I got the idea while I... did what I did... in the tomb. Um... if we... well... if we die...” I had always known that talking about this would be awkward, but I ignored it and pressed on. “... then, well, the afterlife is just us being alone forever, right? And that... well... it’s bad, obviously, but most of all, it would just be incredibly _boring_. It’s easy to just think about it in the abstract, but in concrete terms, it just means having nothing to do for... a really long time.”

“... and?” asked Jenna.

“Well, if there are techniques humanity has come up with to deal with boredom – mental training or whatever – learning those would be a really good idea. I’m not optimistic, but just in case – I mean, imagine it is possible to learn how to be happy – or, at least, less unhappy – if you’re alone. If that’s true, and if we don’t live forever, then not learning those could be the greatest mistake we’ve ever made.”

“Wow,” whispered Caroline. “you’re cheerful today.”

“So,” I continued, “I would like someone to do research there. And...” I sighed. “I think I’m too cynical to do it myself and too inept with internet stuff. Also... there are other things I need to do... like figuring out how to catch Katherine...”

Jenna nodded. If I read her expression correctly, then what I had said had frightened her even more than myself.

“Alright,” she whispered, “I’ll look.”

“Do you know anything?” asked Caroline. It took me a moment to realize that she was addressing Anna.

“Buddhism,” whispered Anna. “Buddhism might be the closest thing to what you’re looking for.”

“Buddhism?” I echoed. “Isn’t that the religion that says you get reincarnated as animals, and that’s a good thing?”

“I think Samsara is supposed to be a bad thing,” whispered Anna. “I think the goal is to liberate yourself from the cycle of reincarnation. But yes, that’s part of it. But the Buddha was said to teach his followers how to overcome suffering, and many people believed it. I know it has some traction in the west, too.”

“Okay,” I whispered, “but if he said two things, and one is almost certainly false, why would anyone believe the other?”

Anna shrugged. “I have no idea whether there’s anything to it. But almost everyone used to believe in supernatural stuff, Elena. Atheism was barely a thing a century ago. If you only accept wisdom from atheists, you’ll be on your own.”

“Are you religious?” I asked.

Anna shook her head. “Not anymore. It’s hard to be religious when no religion has anything to say about vampires or about how magic works in the real world. It doesn’t look like there’s much to it.”

“And does suffering include boredom?”

“I have no idea,” whispered Anna.

“Well,” I whispered, “the techniques, whatever they are, they either work, or they don’t... I take your point that the animal stuff doesn’t prove they don’t work... ‘overcoming suffering’ doesn’t seem plausible, though... I mean, what if you cut yourself... but whatever. Sure. Yes. Buddhism. Great. It’s worth a try.”

“I’ll look,” repeated Jenna. “I’m glad if there’s something I can do to be useful.”

* * *

Jenna and Anna left some time after that, but Caroline stayed.

“This would all be really cool,” she whispered, “the vampire stuff and all, if I could go outside.”

She had, of course, voiced more or less the same thing before, but I didn’t point it out. “Yeah,” I whispered instead, “I miss it, too. It’s depressing to stay inside all day. At least you have your trip to look forward to.”

“You could come, too,” offered Caroline.

I thought about it.

“No,” I decided. “This is your chance to get to know Elizabeth better.”

Caroline shrugged. “If you say so.”

“Otherwise, are you-” I began, but Caroline interrupted me.

“By the way, Elena, what’s with you and Anna?”

“... what do you mean?” I asked with some delay, trying to conceal my true reaction.

“You get _flustered_ around her,” whispered Caroline. “I’ve never seen anyone have that effect on you.”

I said nothing.

“I’m right, aren’t I?”

“In my defense,” I murmured, “I’ve never seen anyone as beautiful as she is.”

“Really,” whispered Caroline. After a few seconds, I realized that it wasn’t a rhetorical question and nodded.

“You think she’s more attractive than Damon was,” probed Caroline.

“Well,” I murmured, “I don’t know about more _attractive_. Damon was beautiful in a seductive way – the fact that I was terrified of him ruined that, but I can see how it would be otherwise. Anna is beautiful in an intimidating sort of way.”

“So, you’re not attracted to her?” asked Caroline outright, and I shook my head. “And you’re sure you’re not just saying that because you don’t want to betray Stefan?”

“Pretty sure. I think I would understand that feeling physically attracted to someone else wouldn’t make me a bad person. It’s not like you can control it – it would just be biology. If it had happened, I don’t think I would lie to myself about it.”

“Mhh,” made Caroline, sounding skeptical.

“What,” I whispered, “do you disagree?”

“Well,” whispered Caroline, “if you truly love someone-”

“-you can’t ever develop feelings for anyone else?” I finished for her. “Caroline, if you really believe that, you’ve read too many romance novels. The real world doesn’t work that way.

“Even so,” whispered Caroline, in a tone that left me unsure if she was convinced or not, “aren’t you relieved that it didn’t happen?”

I nodded; I couldn’t deny that part.

“But do you really think she’s the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen? Aren’t you exaggerating?”

“I don’t know why that’s not obvious,” I whispered honestly. “Just look at her.”

“Vanessa Hudgens?” probed Caroline.

“No competition.”

Caroline giggled. “Then, why don’t you like her?”

“I do like her,” I corrected her, “just not-”

“You know what I mean.”

“Do I really need an explanation for not being attracted to someone?” I asked. “But since you asked...” I thought about it. “I don’t think she’s my type. No,” I added, feeling more confident that it was true, “I’m pretty sure she’s not. In terms of personality, I mean.”

“Didn’t you say you don’t know what your type is? Just before Katherine broke in and killed me?”

When she said this, I realized something.

“I haven’t apologized to you,” I whispered. “For what Katherine did. I’m really sorry – it was my fault, after all – but then there was this other stuff, and I just forgot. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” whispered Caroline. “I wanted to turn, remember?”

“But turning like _that_ couldn’t have been fun.”

“No, but I got over it. And it wasn’t your fault that Katherine broke in – don’t change the subject. Why is Anna not your type, if you think she’s the hottest person in the world?”

“Um,” I made. “Maybe because she’s... introverted? I’m not sure. I kind of know what I like in guys because I got to experiment a bit, but I’ve never been with another woman, so it’s hard. But Anna’s also almost six hundred years old. I mean, just saying. I’m seventeen. There’s got to be something wrong with that.”

“That’s bullshit,” whispered Caroline. “You never cared that Stefan was over a century old.”

She was right, of course – I had realized that it wasn’t a real reason even while I had said it.

“Okay, that was an excuse,” I admitted. “We’re attracted to biological age, not real age, and Anna’s eighteen.”

“So, because she’s introverted? But Stefan is introverted.”

“Yes, but he’s a guy. It’s different.”

“You like guys who are introverts, but girls who are extroverts?”

I had to think about it but then nodded.

“I think I do.”

“Who do you like?” asked Caroline. “Have you ever felt attracted to another woman?”

“What makes you think I’m open to discussing this?”

“You just said it’s your fault that I’ve turned. That means it’s your job to make sure I’m not bored.”

I laughed.

“Besides, we’ve always talked about the guys we like. Why is this different? You told me it’s just the same.”

“Do you like anyone right now?” I asked in a pathetically weak attempt at dodging the question.

“Not since Damon. Don’t change the subject.”

“I don’t like anyone right now,” I whispered. “Other than Stefan.”

“Obviously,” whispered Caroline. “But you used to?”

“I was never in love with her,” I murmured. “I would have said yes if she had asked me out, but she didn’t, and I didn’t, and nothing happened, and we’re still friends, and I haven’t felt anything for her since being with Stefan.”

“ _Who is it?”_ demanded Caroline.

I bit my lip. It took a few more seconds, then I saw Caroline’s eyes widen.

“It’s only natural,” I whispered defensively. “Matt and I have been friends forever, and at one point, he became interested in me that way. I wasn’t mad at him for it.”

 _Although,_ I added in thought only, _we’re not as close as we used to be... I didn’t even feel like I had to tell him about vampires..._

“Um,” made Caroline. “I’m not mad at you.”

“And you don’t think I’m weird?” I asked. Though I wasn’t brave enough to look her into the eyes, I saw her shaking her head.

“But, can you tell me how it happened?” asked Caroline. “When did it start?”

“My friendship with Bonnie always felt easier,” I whispered, still staring down at my hands. “But she didn’t take it seriously when I lost composure and cried. Which also made it easier because it meant crying around her didn’t make things awkward. But you were always the one who took care of me. People say you’re shallow... but you really want everyone around you to be happy... it’s not shallow... and maybe it doesn’t work for everyone... but it did for me. I think that’s the part of you that I was... attracted to.”

“But why doesn’t it work for anyone else?” asked Caroline. “I’m sorry,” she added momentarily, “I shouldn’t be thinking about myself – this isn’t about me.”

“It’s okay,” I whispered hastily, eager to talk about her rather than me. “Maybe you’re trying too hard. You’ve never tried to make me like you; I just liked the way you naturally are.”

“But boys don’t like the way I naturally am! Otherwise, someone would have asked me out by now.”

“Well, now that you’ll be seventeen forever, at least you don’t have to worry about missing your moment, right?” I whispered, eager to cheer her up. “You can always try again.”

“Yeah,” whispered Caroline, “I guess. Actually, that is kind of encouraging. But I won’t meet anyone if I can’t get out.”

“You also don’t know – maybe there was someone who liked you before but was too shy to ever tell you.”

“No way. He would have said something eventually.”

“I’m not so sure about that. Taking rejections is _hard_. I know you’ve taken a few before, and it didn’t discourage you – but I think not everyone is that brave. I was never brave enough to tell you.”

At that moment, there was a knock from the door.

“Yes?” I said, and Elizabeth stepped inside.

“Oh, is it time already?” asked Caroline. All the blinds in the room were shut, of course, so we wouldn’t have noticed if it were already dark outside.

“No,” whispered Elizabeth, “it’s still about an hour until sunset. I was hoping to talk to Elena before that – but if I am interrupting something...”

Caroline and I exchanged a look.

“I think it’s okay,” whispered Caroline. “We were kind of done – right?”

I nodded. Caroline gave me a hug before she turned to leave. “Don’t miss our date,” she whispered to Elizabeth. “You’re my only way out of here.”

“Don’t worry,” whispered Elizabeth. “I’ll see you in an hour; I promise.”

Caroline nodded, closing the door behind her as she left.

“Can I?” asked Elizabeth, gesturing at Caroline’s old spot. I nodded, and she sat down. “I...” The older vampire took a breath. “I was hoping I could talk to you about the big picture.”


	31. Aftermath, #5

“I nodded. “Shoot.”

Elizabeth took a breath. “I’ve been... unhappy with how our species operates,” she whispered, “for a long time before I was locked into the tomb.”

I remembered that this was the first thing she had said after I had given her blood. ‘It is horrible what most of us do to survive.’

“I am, too.” Instinctively, I decided to reveal even more. “I’ve... wanted to do something about it,” I whispered, “ever since Stefan told me what he was.”

Elizabeth, whose gaze had been set on her hands up until this point, was now looking up.

“Most vampires don’t think like us,” she whispered. “But right now, there are eleven of them in this house, all committed not to cause bloodshed. Do you... think anything will come of this?”

Now I was the one looking down on my hands. It shouldn’t have taken Elizabeth to bring it up; I should have thought it through before going into the tomb in the first place. For a moment, I caught myself trying to make up an excuse, but I overrode the instinct.

“We knew Katherine was still out there,” I whispered, “and I had promised Anna to help free Pearl from the tomb. I wanted to do it as quickly as possible, and all of my... planning went into that night. I didn’t think about what would come next.” I swallowed. “The truth is,” I added reluctantly, “I only realized that this was an opportunity this morning. It was just... the operation itself seemed so... threatening of a prospect that I...” My voice trailed off. “So I have no plan,” admitted, “but I want it to become something.”

“If everyone keeps their promise,” whispered Elizabeth, “that probably means they stay for a least a week. It’s not too late.”

I looked at her. At this point, I was almost certain that she wasn’t putting on a character. Everything she had said and done in my presence so far indicated that she sincerely cared about the lives of humans – and, most importantly, not just about those she was directly responsible for. I realized that I had never considered the possibility of meeting someone like her – I had always expected to have to nudge everyone else along. But, now that I had, perhaps it was time for me to take advice.

“What do you think we should do?” I asked outright. The phrasing of ‘we’ rather than ‘I’ had been deliberate.

“I, um... I have lived almost all of my life by myself,” she murmured, now speaking even more quietly than before. “I don’t... know much about what makes people work together. But,” she added, “since most of the others may not be as committed as you or I, I imagine giving them other reasons would...” She stopped. “... if there is a way to do that.”

“Well, the fact that all the tomb vampires are unfamiliar with the modern world should be some reason for them to stay for a while,” I mused. “There’s also the blood, although the truth is that I don’t know for how long we can keep supplying everyone. We probably can’t keep everyone around indefinitely – I don’t imagine Henry will be interested – but maybe it’s enough if some of them stay.”

While saying this, I remembered something else.

“There is another reason,” I whispered slowly, “why it may be in people’s interest to keep the appearance of being a part of this group.”

I waited a few seconds for Elizabeth to react to this before I remembered from our previous conversations that she tended to stay unnaturally quiet until it was her time to speak.

“If I tell you about this, could you... promise not to discuss it with anyone else?”

Elizabeth looked up and nodded.

I hesitated a bit but then decided to tell her. When I was done, Elizabeth had two follow-up questions, which made a lot of sense given that she knew nothing about modern technology.

“I don’t know what to think about this,” she murmured after I answered her second one. “If you are right, it seems... hopeless.”

“Well,” I whispered, “it’s hopeless for vampires as a species – if I’m right – but it doesn’t have to be hopeless for _us_.”

“You think they would spare us if they knew... yes, I suppose you could be right. In that case...” She paused. “I suppose nothing changes? Except that we have even more reason to make it work.”

“Yeah, and it might make it easier. More motivation for those who need it.”

Elizabeth said nothing, and I looked at her for a while. It was hard to know what she was thinking.

“By the way,” I whispered, “Stefan has to be seen as the leader of our, whatever it’s going to be.”

Elizabeth nodded. “I’ll keep it in mind,” she whispered, not questioning the assertion.

“We may want to have a title,” I mused. It was an idea that had only just occurred to me. “To make it feel more... official, I guess. Like a... I don’t know, like a clan?”

“A coven?” suggested Elizabeth.

I thought about it.

“Sounds good,” I whispered after some delay. “It would also fit well with having a mixture of witches and vampires, which is something we should probably strive for.”

“Witches tend to care more for the lives of humans,” whispered Elizabeth. “If what we have is working out, some witches may join for ideological reasons.”

I nodded. “I promise I’ll think about it. And I’ll discuss it with, um, the inner circle. The same people you can discuss it with, too.”

“Who’s part of it?” asked Elizabeth. When I had said it, I had realized that I wasn’t sure who should be included. Who among the people in this house did I trust enough?

“Stefan, Lexi, Jenna, Caroline,” I decided. Once upon a time, Caroline had had a reputation for being untrustworthy with secrets, but she had matured a lot, especially since Bonnie’s death. Jeremy, on the other hand, had not.

Elizabeth nodded.

“And you, of course,” I added. I had said it jokingly, even though I was serious. Elizabeth smiled, giving another nod.

“Thank you. ... well then,” she added after a stretch of silence, standing up from her seat. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Right,” I whispered. “Have fun on your shopping trip.”

“Thanks. Oh, and... for the name...”

“Yes?”

“How about ‘The Coven of Life’?”

* * *

After Elizabeth had left, I had finally gotten some time to do what I had needed more than anything else: grab a diary and write. The situation felt so complicated, with so many people involved, that it was easy to feel overwhelmed. Putting my thoughts onto paper was the only thing that helped; it made the problem feel smaller, more concrete, more manageable.

In particular, there were four things we should try to do in the near future. None of them were easy, but none of them seemed impossible, either.

One, prevent human deaths from anyone in the house.

Two, find a sustainable way to attain blood.

Three, catch Katherine.

Four, get as many vampires as possible to think of what we had here as a lasting alliance rather than a temporary group of people.

If Stefan was going to be the face of the coven, I had reasoned that it would be fine if I didn’t show myself again for today, so I was still lying in bed, writing in my diary, when he returned.

I closed the diary and sat up in bed.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

I nodded. “You?”

He bowed his head. “It’s been... easier than you would think. Seems like you’ve only let out the nice ones.”

I giggled nervously. Stefan stepped up to the edge of the bed and leaned downward for a brief kiss.

“We’re running short on blood,” he then whispered.

“Right... I’ve, um, I’ve been thinking about this, among other things. Do you remember the army veterans you’ve compelled?”

Stefan nodded.

“I’ve been thinking – ask them if they want to sell us blood. You know, like how people donate blood to hospitals, only we pay them.”

“Interesting idea,” whispered Stefan slowly, “but that’s not going to get you far. People are supposed to donate only one pint of blood every eight weeks.”

“So little?” I murmured, feeling a bit shocked. I had known that the proportions weren’t in our favor, but I hadn’t expected it to be quite this bad. “We have ten vampires who drink human blood – perhaps nine of Elizabeth switches – let’s make that fifteen pints per day. We would need... um... over seven hundred people? Ouch.”

“We’re going to have to steal from hospitals at a larger scale,” whispered Stefan. “Or-”

“No,” I interrupted, “we can’t do that. I’ve been thinking about this, too – stealing at the scale we need is straight-up murder. We would kill the people who would rely on the blood for treatment. It’s no different than releasing or creating vampires without making sure they stay peaceful.”

Stefan bowed his head. “I wouldn’t expect to hear anything else from you. But Lexi’s system doesn’t work at scale. There just isn’t enough excess blood at hospitals. I already had trouble getting what we have now.”

“I still think we should use voluntary donors,” I whispered slowly. “If you think about it, the fact that we need a lot of people just shows how big the problem is anyway. In all three cases – stealing, feeding with compulsion, and voluntary donors – the blood comes from other people, right? In the first case, we steal from existing donors; in the second case, we force people to become new donors; and in the third case, we pay them to become new donors.”

“What,” whispered Stefan, “are you saying you want to pay and collect blood from hundreds of people?”

I looked at him and nodded. “Not right now, maybe. But in the long term, I think so.”

“How much do you want to pay them?”

I thought about it. “Five hundred dollars per donation?” I suggested. “That would be... let’s round up... four hundred thousand dollars per month. So, about four million per year.”

“You’re pushing it. People donate blood for free. For most people, five hundred dollars is a lot of money.”

“Granted. How about two hundred? But either way, getting that kind of money is doable, right?”

“It wasn’t hard last time. But it would all be stolen.”

“I know, but I think stealing from millionaires is a much lesser crime than feeding from people without their permission.”

Stefan nodded – as usual, he took my word without questioning it when it came to morality.

“Still,” he whispered, “it would be hard to organize. Forget the stealing part; even if we have unlimited money, your plan means paying and collecting from hundreds of people, regularly. There is no way that we can-”

“-do it soon,” I finished for him. “I know. We can’t organize it quickly enough, which means we have to feed on people and use compulsion in the short term.” I sighed, rubbing my brow with my left hand as I processed the implication. “Well, since we have to do it, we should make sure to go to another town. Mystic Falls is the worst possible place now that the council is handing out vervain.”

“You should form groups,” whispered Stefan. “If you’re feeding on someone, have another vampire around who isn’t feeding right now. Preferably someone stronger than you.”

Although it was obvious now that he said it, it wasn’t something that had occurred to me before.

“Right,” I whispered, “that’s a great idea. Actually, that should really bring down the risk a lot. Maybe it’s not so bad after all.”

Stefan nodded. “But you’ll have to do it without me. And I’m not sure if Lexi will be up for it, either.”

“I think that’s okay – it still leaves Anna and Pearl. If we form two groups... it should be doable, as long as they agree to help.” I took a breath, driving both hands through my hair. “Anyway. Let’s discuss the details later. Do we have enough for one more day?”

“Barely. I think I’ll take one last trip to collect excess blood from hospitals tomorrow. Even if you start feeding on people, we should still have some in stock.”

“Maybe ask someone else to do it?” I suggested. “Anna...” I paused. “... said that her witch is coming tomorrow, so... how long do you think it’ll take?”

“Long. I’ll have to travel a lot to find ones that I haven’t been to before. It’s pointless to visit the same ones again.”

“Okay, then Anna probably won’t want to go, but what about Lexi? You don’t even drink human blood yourself. It doesn’t make sense if you have to supply it to everyone. Isn’t Lexi the expert when it comes to donor blood?”

He hesitated. “Maybe, but Lexi may want to be around if we ask the witch to make a ring for Lee. We’ll see.”

“Okay. Well, we can probably organize groups and stuff by tomorrow evening, so the blood we have only has to last until then. ... anyway, aside from the blood, anything new?”

“We sorted everyone into rooms. Do you want to know the details?”

I nodded.

“We’re fifteen, and there are seven bedrooms. Pearl and Anna took a room together with Harper, and the rest were pairs. There’s Zach and Jeremy, Jenna and Caroline, Lexi and Lee, Amiel and Elizabeth, Henry and Emilia, and us two.”

“Hold on.” I grabbed my diary and the pen. “Repeat that, please.”

He did, and I wrote it down.

“It could be important in case someone tries to sneak out at night,” I murmured. I looked at the list – I liked the fact that Amiel was in a room with Elizabeth. We probably didn’t have much to worry about on that front. I remembered that Zach had announced he didn’t want to share a room with anyone; he must have made an exception since Jeremy was still human.

“Only four of us have daylight rings,” I then whispered. “You, Lexi, Anna, Pearl. Won’t the rest want to stay up at night, anyway?”

“They’ve been awake for a long time. You’ve been passed out until noon, but they have been awake since we left the tomb, which was around three AM. Most of them said they wanted to sleep. But yes, I’m sure they’ll do it eventually. I’ve rarely ever met vampires without a daylight ring who choose to sleep during the night.”

“Right,” I whispered. “Well, I’ll probably have trouble falling asleep now, but I don’t think I want to change my rhythm. I should have a daylight ring by this time tomorrow. On the other hand, someone should probably be around... I guess that’s another thing we should figure out.”

Briefly, my thoughts drifted to the prospect of finally obtaining a ring. The past few days hadn’t left me a lot of time to worry about it, but I did miss being in the sun. There was something oppressive about being locked behind blinds all day.

The others would probably feel the same way and would want to go out before long, even if it had to be after sunset. This would introduce another risk; a bunch of vampires out at night, in a world that must seem entirely alien to them... perhaps we should form groups for that, too.

“What are you thinking?” asked Stefan.

I told him.

“It’s not _hard_ to go around unnoticed,” whispered Stefan, “if you try. Even if people see you, they’ll just think they imagined something, if you run away immediately. I think it’ll come down to whether they want to cooperate. So far, it looks good.”

I nodded. Stefan was right – and incidentally, this brought us right to the selfish reason everyone may have to cooperate.

“There’s something else I wanted to talk about,” I whispered. I hadn’t discussed this with him before, and I couldn’t help feeling curious about what he would say. I reached for my phone on the nightstand, opening it. “Okay,” I began, “you know that this thing has a camera, right?”


	32. Emilia

Stefan had fallen asleep soon after, but I had stayed up for many more hours. At some point, I had put my diary aside; after that, my next memory was of breaking into a house in the middle of the night. It was my own house, the one I used to live in with Jenna and Jeremy, but in the dream, it was Damon who was human, and me who was coming in as a thief, as a killer. I murdered his wife and children, licking their blood off my lips as I watched Damon flee the scene. I followed him, chased him down into the tomb. Here, there was no way out; here, Damon would die. I closed the distance between us, ready to end it, when an invisible force trapped me in place. I turned my head to see Bonnie, and that’s when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

I opened my eyes, gasping for breath. It was odd, but in the first moment after waking, when I was still unable to process what I was seeing, the touch of the hand told me that something wasn’t normal. It was too forceful to be from Stefan.

Sanity returned, and I blinked in surprise. It was Lexi.

“What are you doing here?” I breathed, instinctively throwing a look at the other bed. Stefan was there, already awake.

“You okay?” asked Lexi.

“Been better. Nightmares. It’s... still the tomb... it’ll pass... had it after Damon, too.”

I could tell from her expression that something had happened.

“What is it?” I asked, fearing the worst.

“Emilia is dead.”

“Katherine?” I whispered, but Lexi shook her head.

“I did it. She killed someone. She snuck out last night while you were asleep.”

I sat up in bed, trying to process this. Instinctively, I scooted closer to Stefan, who put an arm around my shoulder.

I had thought Amiel was the one to worry about. I had barely spent a thought on the idea that one of the other vampires could do this – at least not so soon.

And Lexi had killed her? I felt surprise mix with the guilt and sadness.

“It was a fight,” whispered Lexi. “When we caught her, she attacked me. I don’t think she knew how old I was. I wasn’t sure if there was still time to save her victim, so I wanted to end it quickly. I still didn’t have to kill her, but... to tell you the truth, I was surprised at myself when I did it.”

“Thank you,” I whispered. I could feel the first tears dwell out of my eyes.

“How did it happen?” asked Stefan while I wiped my eyes with the blanket.

“Lee and I were up late last night,” began Lexi. “We’ve heard someone sneak out the door. When I went to check, I saw Elizabeth – she also heard it but hadn’t been quick enough to see who it was. We knew it wasn’t Amiel, and I was sure it wouldn’t be Pearl, so it had to be Henry, Harper, or Emilia. We could have checked the rooms, but I didn’t want to get anyone else involved, so I called Bree to cast a tracking spell for all three of them. We tried Emilia first, and-”

“Hold on,” interrupted Stefan, “how did she cast a tracking spell? You need a personal item.”

“When Caroline gave everyone the new outfits, I collected the old ones and gave them to Bree. They were in terrible condition, so no-one wanted them back.”

“Wow,” I murmured involuntarily, now feeling both impressed and even more surprised.

“We tried Emilia first,” continued Lexi, “and her signal was moving away from Mystic Falls. We followed it; it stopped at Rockport. When Lee and I got there, we found that she had broken into the house of what I think was a gay couple. She was in the process of feeding on one of them as we arrived. We managed to save him, but his boyfriend was already dead.”

“Fuck,” I whispered, feeling utterly shocked. It didn’t even make sense; the human body had far more blood than any vampire could drink at once; there was no reason to feed on more than one person at a time. Emilia, who had seemed so normal to me, must have been as evil as Damon – perhaps more.

“Do you think I did the right thing?” asked Lexi.

I nodded. “I do. It’s...” I had to wipe my eyes again. “... it’s horrible that someone died,” I whispered, “but it’s only one, thanks to you. One person, who wouldn’t have died if I hadn’t let her out...”

While saying this, I felt a physical, intense pain in my stomach. It wasn’t quite like anything I had felt before. Perhaps it was because there had never been such a direct link between a mistake I had made and the loss of a human life. This wasn’t guilt by omission. This wasn’t me failing to do something, like I had done with Bonnie. This was me doing something that had caused the death of someone else. Someone innocent.

“What did Emilia say to you?” asked Lexi. “In the tomb. Didn’t you write it down?”

“Do you have to ask her this now?” protested Stefan, but I shook my head.

“It’s-” I began, but I couldn’t finish the sentence. I took a few seconds to collect myself, then opened my bedside drawer, grabbing one of the journals. “It’s in here,” I murmured. I had to clear my throat while I flipped through the pages. “Here... I remember. I wrote down the entire conversation. She began by calling me Katherine. I gave her the usual line about the council having done terrible things to me, to have an excuse for not knowing her. She said she was a hundred and ten when she was locked into the tomb. I told her that compulsion doesn’t work anymore, and that’s why we would have to kill people, and she... she questioned it. She said, ‘can’t you still knock people out and feed on them?’. I asked, ‘would you really go through the trouble?’, and,” I didn’t have to read this part; I remembered it exactly, “she said, ‘if you want to kill, Katherine, you can kill, but this is hardly an excuse.’”

“She didn’t say she wouldn’t do it,” observed Lexi, “she only questioned that there was no other way.”

I pressed my eyelids together and nodded. “Well,” I then whispered, “she said it afterward. She, um...” I blinked, wiping my eyes once more. “I asked her if she would kill now if I let her outside, and I remember that she just stared at me for a while before she answered. She must have figured out what I was doing at that point. She wasn’t stupid.”

“What did she respond?” asked Lexi.

“She said, ‘I would not’. Then, I asked her about revenge, and she said she might if the people who imprisoned her were still alive. I asked her about their descendants, and she said that it wouldn’t make sense to punish someone for what their parents did. That was good enough for me, so I decided to let her out.”

“Hey,” whispered Lexi, and I raised my gaze to look at her. “Don’t beat yourself up over this, you hear me? You tried. Man, you really did. We both did. We’ve done horrible things to protect human lives. You’ve killed eight vampires on that night. And I’ve killed twelve. We’ve done all we could.”

I tried to say something in agreement, but I couldn’t. I was pretty sure the only reason that I was able to talk at all was that Stefan was with me.

“She seemed nice enough to me,” murmured Lexi, “although I barely talked to her.”

“She was very quiet,” whispered Stefan. “She was in the living room almost the entire time but didn’t say much.

“What about Amiel?” asked Lexi. “You’ve told me he was the one Elena was the most worried about.”

“He was...” Stefan paused. “I don’t know, really. He _seemed_ very... eager. He was asking the most questions, wanting to know how things worked. He made me show him how to use a laptop. He didn’t seem dangerous, but I don’t... I don’t really trust him.”

I nodded slightly, though I wasn’t sure if anyone noticed it. What Stefan had said matched my own impression. Amiel had been friendly, even charming, and it was in a very respectful sort of way, entirely unlike the aggressive, seductive kind of charm that I associated with Damon. Still, I couldn’t shake the suspicion that it was all a farce. Amiel was smart; that much was clear. Both he and Emilia had probably been let out due to a mixture of intelligence and luck, which was not how it had been supposed to go. It was possible that Amiel really was a good person (although the odds were against it), but the point was that we simply didn’t know.

In some sense, it may have been selfish to let him live. Killing an innocent vampire meant one innocent life lost. Freeing an evil one could mean hundreds of innocent lives lost. But this case had crossed a line where even I wasn’t willing to follow the cold utilitarian calculus. I could not murder someone if I had no proof, nor even evidence, that they deserved it.

... and yet, Bethanne...

I pushed the thought away.

“Elena?”

I looked at Stefan.

“Sorry,” I whispered, “I was... thinking. What did you say?”

“I was asking what we should do now.”

Unexpectedly, I felt a nagging feeling of guilt, or perhaps inadequacy. I was in the company of two vampires, ten and twenty times my age, and we had just learned that my actions had caused the death of someone innocent...

... and yet, Stefan was still asking me what to do. And he was right – I knew what to do. As bad as this was, it was also an opportunity.

I took his other hand into mine.

“Do you still want to redeem yourself?” I whispered.

I could feel the effect the question had on him, even though he did a good job hiding it.

“More than anything.”

“Then, this is your chance. This, right here. We won’t hide what happened to Emilia. We won’t hide why it happened. And we won’t hide what we want this to be anymore. We go all-in. Tell everyone what will happen, and make it convincing. Tell them that their best shot of surviving is to stay with us and respect our rules. Respect human life.”

“What,” whispered Lexi, “are you talking about? What is going to happen?

Neither of us broke eye contact to look at her – not until Stefan gave a slight nod, and I knew I had won him over.

* * *

When I entered the living room, it was full of people.

Elizabeth stood out immediately. She was wearing a long, flowing, light-blue one-piece dress that ended just a few inches above her feet. It reminded me that women wearing pants hadn’t become the norm until long after 1864. Some of the other vampires had gotten new outfits as well (possibly also Caroline’s doing), but they were comparatively indistinct.

I looked around the room and counted. The group was complete – everyone who now lived in the house was here, except for Emilia. Most of them were sitting on the large wooden table; Pearl and a few others were standing at the edge of the room. Almost all eyes were on Stefan.

“Do you see this?” he asked, holding a thin black object in his hand. “Do you know what this is?”

No-one responded.

“ _You_ know what it is,” said Stefan, addressing Anna. “Tell them.”

“It’s... an iPhone,” said Anna. “It’s like a little compu-... um...”

“Tell them what it can do,” said Stefan.

“Well, you can call people – that means if they also have one, you can talk into yours and your voice comes out of theirs. It also has a calendar in it... um, it has a watch...”

She looked at Stefan, apparently unsure if she was supposed to continue.

“What else?” asked Stefan.

“Let’s see... it has a camera...”

“It has a camera,” echoed Stefan. “You know what cameras are – it was possible to take your picture in 1864. But it’s gotten a little easier since.” I saw him pressing a button on the screen, and I knew he was taking a photo of Anna. “Here.” He pressed a few more buttons, then showed it to everyone.

There on the screen was a picture of Anna, sitting at the table, looking gorgeous.

“I could take this picture,” said Stefan, “and, using that machine over there – the one Amiel was so fascinated by – I could share it with anyone else in the world who wants to look at it. And there’s more.” He took back the iPhone, clicked a few more buttons, and held it before him. “What am I doing right now?” he asked.

“Filming?” guessed Anna.

“Filming,” echoed Stefan. “What does that mean?”

“Well... it’s like photos, only it captures everything over time rather than just one moment,” said Anna. “You know, like what you’ve all seen on the TV in the other room. This is how it’s recorded.”

“ _What am I doing right now?”_ asked Stefan’s voice from the recorded video that was already playing back. The real Stefan held the screen so that everyone in the room could see it.

“ _Filming?”_ said the Anna from the video, then the real Stefan pressed another button, and the video froze.

“I could do the same with this recording,” said Stefan. “Everyone in the world could see it. Now. Tell me.” He leaned onto the table with both hands. “How much longer do you think our existence remains a secret if anyone in the world can film you – and once they do, show it to everyone? If you are caught feeding on someone or healing a wound, you can’t compel anyone to fix it. And a single instance, one vampire being caught anywhere in the world, will be all it takes.”

He made a pause.

“I don’t know how long it will take. Maybe it’s another ten years. Maybe it’s three years. Maybe it’s twenty. But I know that the times where we can correct any error we make are over. At this point, it’s only a matter of time until humanity finds out what we are.”

I stole a glance at Anna. If this was something that came as a shock to her, she wasn’t showing it. Then again, it was Anna.

“People will find out,” repeated Stefan. “And when they do, when our existence is no longer a secret, what do you think they’ll do to us if we’re still killing them for food?”

His voice was quiet, but it was so still in the room that everyone would have understood him even if they didn’t have supernatural hearing.

“There are six billion humans on this planet. Three hundred million live in America. How many vampires do you think there are? Twenty thousand? Fewer?”

“But we’re not killing for food,” said Henry. “That’s why you’ve let us out of the tomb in the first place.”

“Someone did,” said Pearl. “That’s it, isn’t it? One of us killed someone?”

“Not anyone _here_...” said Lexi.

“Emilia?” guessed Anna.

Instead of answering, Stefan produced a photograph. This one wasn’t taken with a phone – instead, it was one Jenna and I had pulled from Facebook.

“Glenn Parker,” said Stefan. “This is the person Emilia murdered last night when she snuck out of the house. She must have thought we wouldn’t find her. Unfortunately for her...”

“You killed her?” asked Amiel.

“A stake right through the heart,” said Stefan.

“We wouldn’t have done it if she had slipped,” said Lexi. “But this wasn’t a mistake. She meant to kill him. It was murder.”

“What she did put the rest of us in danger,” said Stefan. “This is not 1864. In the past century, humans have created weapons that are a thousand times as deadly as firearms, and they outnumber us a hundred thousand to one. Once they know we exist, they can kill every last one of us if they want to, and there will be nothing we can do about it. Nothing. We can’t fight them, and we can’t run from them. Our only chance to survive as a species is to convince them that we can coexist peacefully.”

This was followed by a stretch of silence, until-

“I was asleep,” said Henry, who I remembered had been Emilia’s roommate. “I didn’t hear her. I swear, I had nothing to do with this.”

“No-one’s blaming you,” said Lexi.

“It’s my fault,” I said, speaking up for the first time. “I’ve decided to let her out of the tomb. I’ve misjudged her. It was my mistake, and I’m sorry. None of you are responsible.”

“You all have a choice to make,” said Stefan. “You can leave this town, go away, and do whatever you want with the rest of your life. No-one here will stop you. But if you leave, you’re on your own. If the day comes that vampires start dying by the thousands, you won’t get help from us.” Another pause. “... or,” he continued more quietly, “you can stay. If you do, you can live here for as long as you want, and you can count on the rest of us for help whenever you need it. We will organize a way for us to obtain blood, one that does not put human life in danger.”

“Human blood?” asked Harper.

Stefan nodded. “We won’t ask you to live on animals. It’s my choice to do it. No-one else has to.”

That was followed by another stretch of silence, this one broken by Pearl.

“Is it true what he told us?” she asked, addressing her daughter. “Are these devices as common as he claims?”

“I’m not sure,” said Anna, and I felt a sudden rush of fear. People listened to Anna; the tomb vampires had all known her since before they had been trapped. What she said now might decide over the future of our to-be coven.

“I’m not sure if what he said will happen,” said Anna. “The part about cameras is pretty much true, though. Everyone’s already carrying cell phones...” She took out her own. “... and these things have been getting better for years now. Most of them already have picture-only cameras. Mine does. So yeah, unless something changes, I would expect everyone will soon be able to shoot videos whenever they want to.”

“And what he said about showing it to people all over the world?” asked Pearl.

“The technology is there,” said Anna. “Millions of people _can_ access it. I don’t know how many will actually watch it.”

“If it showed proof of our existence,” said Pearl, “why wouldn’t they?”

“Because there is so much stuff out there, and you’ve seen the television – they show things that aren’t real. People create scenes that aren’t real on purpose, just for entertainment. There are already stories about vampires. So even if someone does film one of us and gets away with it, and even if he chooses to share it online, I’m not sure people will take it seriously.”

“You can tell if a video is shot by one person holding a camera or a professional studio,” I pointed out. “And one person can’t create scenes that aren’t real. It can be done, but it’s expensive.”

“That’s true,” said Anna.

“What do you think happens,” asked Lexi, “if they do find out?”

“That would be the end of us,” said Anna without hesitating.

“Are you sure?” asked Harper. It was as I had thought: Anna had an authority that no-one else had, not even Pearl.

“There are bombs that can destroy entire cities,” said Anna. “There are weapons controlled from a distance that can kill people on the other side of the world. There are guns that fire ten bullets per second. There are devices that shoot fire. If you think we have a chance to fight, forget it. _That_ part is certain. If they find out, we’re done.”

“And do you think they will want to kill us?” asked Henry. “There are plenty of vampires who don’t murder for food.”

“Yes, there are,” said Anna bitterly. “Like mother in 1864. Neither of us had killed a human in decades. Didn’t make any difference.”

“But you don’t think they’ll find out?” asked Henry.

Anna hesitated.

“I don’t know,” she said again.

“And do you think they would spare us if we did what he said?” asked Henry. “Form a group and make sure no-one kills anyone?”

Once again, Anna hesitated.

“I don’t know. I don’t think much of humans and their sense of justice, but you would have a better case than we had in 1864. It helps that – can I tell them about what happened here?” she asked, addressing Stefan.

“... yes,” said Stefan with some delay.

“Stefan’s brother came to Mystic Falls two months ago. He’s committed the first murders by vampires in twenty-seven years. Stefan killed him for it. And yesterday, Elena and Lexi killed twenty vampires who were in the tomb. You’ve lived up to your principles; I can’t deny that. But will it be enough? Will anyone even believe you? Honestly,” she said with a dry laugh, “I have no idea. Who knows what people will do if they find out.”

“Suppose we’re wrong,” I said quietly. “Wrong about what will happen, or wrong about what we can do about it. If you stay with us anyway, what do you lose? You don’t even have to forego human blood. And you’ll have friends to rely on if you get in trouble. But if we’re right and you leave, you might be dead in ten years.”

“I’m in.”

I turned my head in surprise. It wasn’t Henry who had said it, nor was it Anna or Elizabeth – instead, it was possibly the last person I had expected it from: Amiel.

“I’m too,” said Elizabeth. For a few moments, I was hoping that the rest of the group would follow, but no-one did.

“Do we have to decide now?” asked Harper.

“No,” said Stefan. “You can leave whenever you want. For as long as you live here and don’t put human life in danger, you’re part of us. But if you leave, you can’t come back.”

“Do you want to stay for now?” asked Lexi when Harper didn’t respond.

After a few seconds, he nodded.

“Yeah, I’ll also stay,” said Henry. “For now.”

This left Anna and Pearl.

“I do not promise anything,” said Anna. “But mother wants to live here, at least if we can deal with Katherine. We’ll stay for now.”

“Good,” said Stefan, “then, for now, all of you will be a part of our coven.”

“Give the more careful life a chance,” said Lexi. “See how much you like it. I’ve lived that way for centuries, and it’s not so bad. You can still drink human blood, you can still have fun, and you’ll feel better about yourself. It feels good to be decent.”

“Do we have enough donor blood long term?” asked Anna.

“No,” said Stefan. “No, we don’t. We cannot keep giving you blood from hospitals. They have it for a reason. Respecting human life doesn’t just mean not killing them with your own hands; it also means not taking blood away from patients who rely on it to survive. Besides, stealing at the scale we need would attract attention. There are still vampire hunters out there. We have to do it differently.”

“How?” asked Anna.

“We’ll feed off people,” said Stefan. “There’s no alternative. We will hunt, but we will be smart about it.” He made a pause; when he continued, it was in a more authoritative tone, not unlike his previous speech.

“There are four rules that everyone who stays will follow when it comes to getting blood from people,” he announced. “Number one: avoid Mystic Falls. This one is for your own sake. The council is handing out vervain; biting the wrong person in this town is the easiest way to end up with a stake in your heart.

“Two: never go by yourself. That’s how people die; you lose control, and no-one is there to stop you. We’re smarter than that. We will go in groups, and only in groups, with one person feeding at a time. That way, if you lose control, the others will be there to pull you back.

“Three: use one human per vampire. Never have two vampires feed on the same person. We don’t want to take more than one quart of blood from anyone. That’s about how much you need per day. Drink until you’re no longer hungry, and then stop.

“And four: before you feed on someone, you ask them under compulsion if they’re sick, and if they are, you leave them alone and go to someone else. Sick people can die from losing one quart of blood. Healthy people can’t.”

He made another pause.

“Does anyone have a problem with this?”

“I thought you live off of animal blood only,” said Amiel, once it was clear that no-one was about to object.

“I do,” said Stefan, “which is why you should remember everything I’ve just told you. Whoever organizes the hunt will be in charge of making sure it goes well.”

“And if that’s not you,” said Amiel, “who else?”

“With Emilia gone,” said Stefan, now in a more conversational tone, “we are twelve vampires. I don’t drink human blood, so that makes-”

“I don’t, either,” said Elizabeth. “If we have to go hunting, I’ll rather feed on animals.”

“Good,” said Stefan, “then that makes ten of you who are going to do this. Ten are too many to go together. You should form two groups of five members each. You asked who’ll be leading them. Whoever it is should be strong, so that he or she can interfere if someone gives in to bloodlust, and they should be familiar with the modern world.” Yet another pause. “I believe that only leaves two choices. Lexi?”

“You got it,” said Lexi.

Stefan nodded. “Anna?”

“Five members,” echoed Anna after some delay, “we hunt once per day, and I’m responsible for making sure everyone gets fed and no-one gets killed? That’s all?”

“That’s right,” said Stefan.

Anna hesitated – for long enough that I was starting to worry – but then, she nodded.

“Alright, I can do that. Should be easy enough. Do we form the groups now?”

“Go ahead,” said Stefan. “Let’s finish planning now, and today after sunset can be your first hunt. Then, if anything goes wrong, we can talk about it tomorrow.”

Anna looked around at the people in the room. “Alright,” she said, “you heard him. Everyone who wants to join my group, raise your hand. The rest goes hunting with Lexi.”

Henry raised his hand almost immediately, then Pearl, then Harper, and then no-one. My gaze fell onto Amiel, but he wasn’t looking at me.

Suddenly, and much to my own surprise, I considered volunteering as the last person. I would rather go with Lexi, but if I did, we would have less oversight over the tomb vampires. I still didn’t trust Anna entirely. If I went with her, I would be able to observe them myself.

Following the sudden impulse, I was about to do it, but then I stopped. _Whoever leads my group will be the one keeping me from killing,_ I realized. _There is no way I can stop drinking blood on my own. If I go with Anna, I have to trust her with that, and if it goes wrong, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life._

Did I trust Lexi more than Anna? The answer was an unequivocal yes. I trusted her motivations more, and plus, two mistakes in three and a half centuries was one hell of a record. I didn’t know what Anna’s record looked like, but there was almost no way that it compared.

“We need one more,” said Anna. “Amiel, what about you? I think everyone else wants to go with Lexi.”

I looked back at Amiel, who shrugged. “Alright,” he said, “I’ll do it.”

“Cool,” said Anna, “so everyone who was in the tomb is with me. None of you has any idea of the crazy shit that people can do nowadays, so don’t act out, alright? Do what I tell you, and if you don’t know something, ask. Now, there is a witch who will visit us this evening; she’s supposed to be here at ten. I don’t know how long she’ll stay, so I say we go at midnight. It shouldn’t take more than two hours, so you’ll be back...”

She kept talking, but I stopped processing it as I began to think more about Amiel. He had done the opposite of what I had expected at almost every turn. I had pictured him as a sinister character, and yet, he had been the most direct, the most friendly, and the one who had asked for help the most. I had expected him to be the most likely to reject the group, and yet, he had been the first to announce his support, even before Elizabeth. And I had expected him to go with Anna, and yet, he had been the only tomb vampire who hadn’t volunteered, which meant that he must have expected to be in a group with me. I could feel my suspicions of him crumble, and that very fact gave me a renewed urge to mistrust him. Amiel was smart. Perhaps too smart. A truly intelligent killer wouldn’t behave like a stereotype, as Damon had; he would mask his personality entirely.

 _Perhaps,_ I thought, _perhaps he’s just decided that cooperating is in his interest. I think it is, even if he’s entirely selfish. Maybe he agrees. Maybe he’s eager to prove himself so that he’ll survive when-_

“Elena?” said Lexi’s voice. “Hello?”

I turned my head. I hadn’t even realized it, but while I had been thinking, everyone in the room had clustered into the two groups, with Stefan and Elizabeth standing next to the two humans.

“Sorry,” I said, walking over to Lexi’s group.

“Well,” said Lexi, “you guys know the area better than I do. Where should we go?”

When she said this, I realized that three of us – Caroline, Jenna, and Lee – hadn’t spoken a single word since Stefan’s speech. They hadn’t known what was about to happen; there hadn’t been time to tell them. But I knew they wouldn’t be comfortable talking about it here where everyone could hear them. Would they be angry?

A look at Caroline sent a shiver down my spine. Yes, she might indeed be upset.

“Jenna?” I asked carefully. Her expression was harder to decipher than that of Caroline.

“Do we... have to?” she said at last. “Go hunting? I don’t like the idea.”

“You can opt out and go with animal blood instead,” said Lexi. “But it’s not that bad, really. It doesn’t have to be traumatic for the people we feed on. We can ask them to invite us in, tell them not to worry, tell them what we want and that it won’t kill them, and even heal their wounds afterward. It can be really civil.”

“If I choose animal blood,” said Jenna, “do I have to get that myself?”

“I’m sure Stefan will get some for you,” I said. “Or Elizabeth. Honestly, I’m considering it myself.”

“If you all opt out, our group’s gonna be pretty small,” said Lexi, now sounding amused.

“I want to go,” said Caroline. “I’ve tried animal blood before. I don’t like it.”

“Should I even come along?” asked Lee. “You don’t need me to control them, and we have managed without hunting before.”

Lexi turned to him before she answered.

“You don’t have to, but you can if you want. If we’re going to do this, I will be feeding, too. Our old way isn’t going to work anymore if we stay in one place. There just aren’t enough hospitals nearby.”

“Then I’ll come,” said Lee.

“Alright,” said Lexi, “Jenna?”

Jenna shook her head. “I’ll pass. Animal blood can’t be that bad, right?”

“It’s okay,” said Caroline. “I’ve tried it before. It’s like drinking water. Well, like drinking water used to be. But you don’t get to taste human blood. You know what you’re missing out on.”

“Yup,” said Jenna, “that’s fine.”

“Okay,” said Lexi, “so Jenna stays home. Elena?”

“I’ll come,” I said, “for one time, to see what it’s like. But you know I can’t control myself, right? You’ll have to stop me after I had my part.”

“I know,” said Lexi, “don’t worry. Alright, so we’re four people. Now, like I said, you guys know the area better than I do. Choose a place?”

* * *

When it was clear that there was nothing left to discuss, Stefan had left for the trip we had planned on the day before. It was long past sunrise, which meant that most of us were tied to the house no matter what. I had returned to my room with the intent of thinking about the Katherine problem, but after ten minutes of failing to focus, I gave up. I left the room instead, with the intention of talking to Jenna and Caroline.

“Come in,” said Jenna when I knocked (it had taken me a while to remember which room was theirs).

“Oh,” I made as I entered. Jenna and Caroline were both there, but so was Lexi.

“I think this is my cue to leave,” said Lexi. “I’ll see you guys later, when Anna’s witch arrives. Don’t miss it.”

I stepped aside to make space for her.

“You should talk to Jeremy,” she whispered on the way out. “We’ve put him into a pretty crazy place.”

I suppressed a sigh as she left – it was true; Jeremy’s life had been entirely uprooted, and I certainly hadn’t had much time for him since the tomb.

“I’m sorry,” I murmured, “that I didn’t tell you about any of this before it happened. There was just no time.”

“Yeah,” whispered Caroline, “Lexi told us as much.”

“I don’t think it changes much for you guys,” I whispered, throwing a look at Jenna as I did – I had no idea what she was thinking.

“Lexi said that, too,” whispered Caroline. “Elena, what are your plans for Katherine?”

“What?” I asked instinctively. “Um... nothing yet, sorry. I haven’t really found the time.”

“You have to figure something out,” whispered Caroline. “We can’t all live in this place forever. It’s not just because of me – people will notice something is up if we stay here.”

I winced at that. It reminded me of a different problem that I hadn’t thought about since the tomb: it would be easy for Katherine to kidnap family members of one of us, such as Caroline’s mother, and it was just our luck that she hadn’t done it yet.

In fact, I didn’t know why she hadn’t. None of us had any idea of what she was up to; Zach occasionally got messages instructing him to keep her informed, but that was it.

In other words, Caroline was right – I had to figure something out as quickly as possible.

I nodded. “I promise I’ll work on it.”

Getting Katherine out of the way would be the first step to allow Caroline to return to her normal life – or as normal as it could be as a vampire, at least. Which wouldn’t be very normal at all if-

“And I want a daylight ring,” whispered Caroline, coinciding perfectly with my train of thought. “Even if Katherine’s gone, I can’t go home without one.”

“Yeah,” I whispered, “I hope you guys get one. I really do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have you seen the movie Schindler's list?
> 
> Schlindler was a business man during the Nazi era, who is credited with saving the lives of over a thousand Jews by employing them in his factories (and thus allowing them to evade the Holocaust).
> 
> What is most striking to me about the film is Schlindler's personality. He doesn't start off being a good guy. He wants to get rich and employs Jews because they're cheap workers. He's friendly with the Nazis. But over the course of the movie, as he realizes the good he can do, he gradually changes his priorities from accumulating wealth to saving as many lives as possible.
> 
> The movie ends with what I found to be a deeply touching scene. When allied forces arrive at the factory, Schindler has a mental breakdown at the realization that he could have saved even more people. He had a car he didn't sell; if he had, he could have used the money to employ a bunch more people. And he had a piece of jewellery that was solid gold; he could have employed at least one more person had he decided to sell it. One more person, who died because he kept a piece of metal. While everyone else is thanking him, he is struck by guilt and shame.
> 
> You can watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vOoWpTxKJGA
> 
> The analogy is to Lexi. If you're wondering why she has started to change, that's the idea. And I really do think this kind of thing happens in the real world. There are more people who stumble into their role and then make the most of it than there are people who become heroes purely based on their own convictions. Those people exist as well, but they're very rare.


	33. Judgments

The witch arrived two hours before midnight, exactly as Anna had said. She was tall, beautiful, and had the darkest skin of any person I had ever seen in real life.

“I’m Nomusa,” she introduced herself as she and Anna entered Stefan and my room. Meeting her at the entrance would have been the more polite way of doing it, but I wanted to minimize the amount of contact she had with the other vampires.

“Elena,” I said, “nice to meet you.”

Stefan still hadn’t returned from his trip; the remaining people in the room were Jenna, Caroline, Lexi, Lee, and Elizabeth, whom I had decided to include last minute. From what I had seen, she deserved a ring as much as anyone.

“May I?” asked Nomusa, pointing at the small round table.

I nodded. “Could we...” I asked very quietly, tapping my ear and then pointing to the door. Nomusa raised an eyebrow, then made a small movement with her hand.

“No need for that. No-one will hear us now.”

“Okay,” I said, somewhat surprised. If her spell worked – and I would have to assume it did – then she had already done something that Sheila had once claimed not to be capable of.

“Do you want anything?” I asked, “Water, something alcoholic-”

Nomusa shook her head. “Let’s get to why I’m here.”

“Alright,” I said nervously. “Um, well, there are other vampires besides me who want to walk in the sun. All of them are committed to living peacefully. Is there anything we can do to convince you to make daylight rings for them as well? I, um...” I put three rings onto the table. “I have some jewelry here.”

“Anna mentioned that you would like more than one ring,” said Nomusa. “But I don’t give out this power lightly. Our duty as witches is to protect the weak, not to help the predators.”

“If Anna has told you anything about me,” I said, “you know that I care about protecting human life as much as anyone. I don’t think any of the people here will be dangerous, whether they can walk in the sun or not.”

“Many vampires assure me of their peaceful nature when they ask me to grant them this power. You will forgive me if I can’t take you at your word.”

“Right,” I said, “but these are not a random collection. Our group is based on valuing human life. And you don’t have to take my word for it; ask Anna.”

“I would not trust Anna’s word on this, either.”

“Okay, is there anything that would convince you?”

“Who do you want me to do this for?”

“Um... everyone here except for Anna, and her,” I said, pointing to Lexi.

“If you really want to,” said Nomusa, now addressing the four vampires in question, “I will test you. If you pass, I will give it to you. I won’t even ask anything in return. However, I must warn you: the odds are not in your favor, and I will tell everyone what I find.”

“Test how?” asked Caroline.

“Give me your hand,” said Nomusa.

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“Is it going to hurt?”

“You won’t feel a thing.”

I could see Caroline kneading her hands nervously.

“Now?” she asked.

“It won’t make a difference.” Nomusa held out her hand. “There is nothing you can do to influence what I see. Take it or leave it – it’s your choice.”

Caroline hesitated, but then she stepped forward and took the witch’s hand.

 _Is she going to mind-read or something?_ I wondered. But Nomusa drew back after just a few seconds.

“No,” she said. “You have good intentions, but you don’t have the strength of will. I’m sorry.”

I winced. When I threw a look at Caroline, I saw an expression of what could only be described as utter shock. But I had no illusions about my chances to convince her now.

Nomusa was looking at Jenna next, who hesitated for just a second before she stepped forward. I held my breath as she took her hand; I wanted Jenna to get a ring more than anyone else.

“No,” said Nomusa, again after just a few seconds, and I felt a lump form in my throat. “You have good intentions as well, but you do not have your instincts under control. And you need to deal with your anger.”

 _Anger?_ I thought, feeling confused. This time I didn’t have the courage to look at her, so I kept my gaze at the witch, who seemed to be waiting for additional volunteers.

Lee stepped forward now, and this time, the witch held his hand longer. Ten seconds in, I began to wonder if the delay was a good sign. Nomusa had her eyes closed and seemed to be in deep concentration. After quite a long time, perhaps a minute, she let go.

“You are remarkable for a vampire,” she said, “but you’re not ready. Come to me in five years, and perhaps I will reconsider, provided you don’t get blood on your hands in the meantime.” She looked at Lexi. “Are you his lover?”

Lexi nodded.

“May I?” Nomusa reached out with her hand. Lexi offered her own without protest, but the moment the witch touched it, she drew back at once.

“ _Death,_ ” she hissed. “You’ve killed someone. Hours ago. Anna, you’ve told me that these vampires were peaceful.”

“Err...” said Lexi. “Yeah, that’s not a secret. She was a vampire. I’ve staked her after she’s murdered an innocent man. It might seem extreme, but we don’t tolerate murder.”

“I don’t care what you did to others of your kind,” said Nomusa sharply. “Vampires are walking corpses. I have sensed a _life_ blink out. A human life.”

“I’ve caught her after one of her victims was already dead,” said Lexi. “We’ve saved the other one, so I don’t know what-”

“No,” interrupted Nomusa, “I cannot sense who has committed the act, but someone died _while you were close_. Very close.”

“The moment we’ve dealt with Emilia, I’ve tried to give her first victim my blood to heal him,” said Lexi. “I thought he was dead already, but perhaps he died while I was fighting Emilia? But man, it only took a few seconds.”

The witch said nothing for a while, then-

“Give me your hand again.”

Lexi didn’t protest, and this time, Nomusa held it for a while.

“I’m sorry you couldn’t save him,” she then said, and I suppressed a sigh of relief. The last thing we needed was for Nomusa to think that Lexi was somehow evil. “I can see that you would never harm someone innocent.” She let go of her hand. “Keep helping him,” she added with a gaze at Lee.

“Yeah,” said Lexi, “I will.”

“Very well,” said Nomusa. “I believe we have one more candidate?”

Elizabeth nodded, and I felt an increasing sense of curiosity – and hope – as she approached the witch. Based on our interactions, Elizabeth was one of the most decent people I had ever met. Lexi seemed to have passed the test, which probably meant that whatever the witch did was tracking something real.

 _If she refuses her,_ I thought, _I wonder what reason she will give._

As with Caroline and Jenna, it only took a few seconds, then Nomusa let go.

“Which one do you want?” she asked.

“... the one to your left,” said Elizabeth after some delay. The way it had gone had been so nonchalant that it took me a moment to realize what it meant.

Nomusa took the ring in question and tossed it to Elizabeth, who caught it with both hands. I looked between the two, feeling confused – Nomusa didn’t seem to have done anything.

“I have never seen a vampire with a soul as pure as yours,” said Nomusa. “I wasn’t sure if it was even possible. If you ever need help, feel free to contact me.”

“The spell’s already on?” asked Elizabeth. Nomusa nodded. Unlike when Lexi had gotten hers, this time it was past sunset, so there was no way to test it.

 _Did she really cast the spell just then,_ I wondered, _or has she enchanted all three rings earlier?_

“Thank you,” said Elizabeth. Then, she unexpectedly stole a glance at me. There was something in her gaze that I couldn’t read.

Nomusa turned to me.

“I would like you to enchant this,” I said hastily, wanting to pre-empt the possible enchantment of one of the other two rings. I took off my necklace and offered it to her.

“Put it down,” instructed Nomusa, which I did. “Give me your hand.”

“You don’t have to test _her_ ,” said Anna. “You’ve promised to make her one, remember?”

Nomusa didn’t lower her hand. “I want to know who I am giving this power to.”

Though it was a bit silly, I noticed that I felt excitement as I stepped forward. After what I had gone through, didn’t I deserve a ‘good-person’ badge of the kind Elizabeth had gotten?

The witch took my hand in hers. Suddenly, she grabbed it much harder than I had anticipated. Then, she let go.

“No.”

“What?” asked Caroline and Anna at the same time, and I thought it, too, though the word didn’t make it past my lips.

“What do you mean, no?” said Anna. “You’ve promised _._ ”

“I’ve promised because you told me that she’s a good person. She’s not. She is the last person in this room I would give this power to, and I urge you all not to trust her.”

I felt as if she had punched me in the face. Was this the reward for what I had done? For what I had gone through to make sure Elizabeth and the others were now free?

I knew everyone was looking at me.

I should have replied something. I should have said something smart. Something calculated. Something to convince everyone that she was wrong.

Instead, I broke into tears.

I felt someone take me into her arms. I knew it was Lexi. I buried my head against her body and cried.

“Elena could have had a ring for herself,” I heard Lexi say, and her voice was much colder than I was used to from her. “She decided to give it to me instead.”

“I find that very hard to believe,” said Nomusa.

“You think I’m lying?” asked Lexi. This was followed by a pause.

“Very well. Give me your hand again, Elena.”

I tried to remind myself that there was no dignity left for me to preserve, so I loosened myself from Lexi and, tears rolling down my face, offered Nomusa my hand once more.

She took it. This time, she held it for longer.

“She loves you,” the witch murmured. For the first time, she sounded surprised. It took me a while to realize that ‘she’ referred to me and ‘you’ to Lexi. “She loves you like a sister. And yet...” She let me go. “I have to assume you’ve told me the truth. But my answer remains the same. I won’t do this. I have rarely seen this much darkness in anyone, and every time I have, they have been monsters.”

Without saying anything, I stepped back to Lexi.

“You’ve _promised,_ ” hissed Anna. “This is not up for debate. Did you forget what I’ve done for you? You _owe_ me.”

“Not enough for this,” said Nomusa, and, despite the crushing disappointment and shame, I felt a tinge of respect for the witch. If nothing else, she had courage.

“You said you would do it,” said Anna, “not that you would test her and do it if you want to.”

“Because you told me she was a kind and decent person,” said Nomusa. “I was setting the bar much lower for her than for the others, given that it was payback to you, not a favor to her. But she failed it. You either lied to me or have been taken for a fool.”

“Or maybe your witchy powers don’t work?” parroted Anna. “I _know_ what Elena is like. I’ve observed her and her boyfriend for over a month before I’ve shown myself. If she were a monster, I would know about it. And she hasn’t gotten any worse since her transition.”

“You owe her,” said Nomusa, “don’t you? Perhaps, you simply refuse to see what’s in front of you.”

“You must really think I’m an idiot,” said Anna. “But it doesn’t matter. All you have to do is look at what she’s done since she’s turned. Remember when I told you about the tomb? Elena didn’t just open it; she personally interrogated every vampire in there before she-”

“Interrogated?” interrupted Nomusa. “How?”

“She told them she was Katherine, the vampire who turned most of the ones in the tomb. She looks like her. She invented a story to test their attitude toward humans. And _twenty out of the twenty-six in there didn’t pass_. They’re all dead now. Half of them were killed by Elena herself, even though she almost went mad doing it.”

“And you are among the ones who passed?” Nomusa asked Elizabeth, who nodded.

“And the one you killed?” she asked, now addressing Lexi. “Was she among them, too?”

“Yes,” said Lexi.

“You said she murdered. Then why was she let out?”

“Because a one-minute conversation isn’t enough to find out if someone’s a psycho?” Anna took a step toward Nomusa, but the witch didn’t flinch. “I’m amazed that it worked as well as it did. And look, _I_ don’t think it was her responsibility to find out who among them was a killer. If it were up to me, I would have saved the vampires I cared about and left the rest down there. But _your_ entire thing is to protect humans. Do you have any idea how many people would have died if she had let them all out instead? Twenty unhinged vampires, most of them newbies, who have just been put through hell? You should be _on your knees_ thanking her _._ Elena probably saved more people that day than you saved in your entire life.”

I felt a shiver run down my spine as I listened to that. Even now, hearing Anna stand up to me evoked a warmth in my heart.

“It seems like she’s got you all wrapped around her finger,” said Nomusa coldly. “By doing what she has done, she’s practically gotten her own private army.”

“How the fuck can you suggest that she wasn’t trying for real after you’ve just looked at Elizabeth?” asked Anna, now sounding exasperated. “How many vampires have you ever met who you were willing to give a ring to, without being owed a favor?”

“Two,” said Nomusa, “just now. Her and Alexa. I grant you that she has surrounded herself with unusually kind members of your species, and that is remarkable. It does not change what she is. She would let you die in a heartbeat if her own life were at stake.”

In an instant, the pieces fell into place. What Nomusa had just said was true – that, and more. I would kill Anna _with my own hands_ if my own life were at stake. The all-overriding fear of death had always been a part of me, and that must have been what Nomusa had picked up. I had never understood how, but I knew that most people were not like that.

I felt frustration upon realizing this, but also relief. At least now, I knew.

“That is a fucking ridiculous way to judge someone,” said Anna, who had perhaps drawn the same conclusion. “So Elena is afraid of death. Is that the big crime she’s committed? I’m afraid of death, too. And yeah, maybe I wouldn’t go as far as her to survive, but who cares? Look at what she’s _actually_ _done_ , not what she would do in a case that probably never happens.”

“You will not convince me, Anna,” said Nomusa. “You may as well stop trying.”

“Screw this,” said Anna. “ _Get out._ All of you.”

“What?” asked Caroline. “Are you talking to us or-”

“Yes, I’m talking to you,” snapped Anna. “Get out of here. I want to talk to Nomusa alone.”

It took a few more seconds, then everyone turned to leave without complaint.

“Wait,” I tried to say, but it came out sounding almost inaudible. I cleared my throat. “Wait,” I repeated.

Anna looked at me. “What?”

“You... Nomusa. If you’re... if you’re not going to do what you promised, would you... would you agree that you owe us something in return?”

“Not if it comes to your benefit,” said Nomusa coldly.

I shook my head. “It doesn’t. I want you to make a ring for Lee.”

This request seemed to have surprised everyone in the room.

“You said he was almost there,” I whispered. “It should be a small price to pay, right? And you’ve said that Lexi was one of only two vampires you’ve ever seen who deserve to wear one. She’s taking care of him. She will never let him hurt someone. If anything, the ring will mean that she’ll spend more time with him in the future. And she’s more likely to stay with him if they can be in the sun together.”

No-one said anything for a while, until-

“I don’t care if you do this or not,” said Anna, “but let me be clear: if you do, that doesn’t mean you’ve kept your end of the bargain. The deal we had was about Elena, _not_ about Lee.”

“Yes, you’ve made your position clear,” said Nomusa. Then, without warning, she grabbed one of the rings and tossed it to Lee, who barely caught it. “You won’t convince me,” she said to Anna, “so I suppose you may as well have this as an apology. You are right, Elena; unlike you, he is almost worthy just by himself. And yes, Anna, I will still owe you afterward.”

“Cool,” said Anna, “congrats Lee. Now get the fuck out of here _._ ”

I felt someone grab my arm and knew it was Lexi. I let her drag me along; as soon as we had shut the door behind us, she pulled me into her arms.

“Elena,” she whispered, “ _thank you_. What you’ve just done, I don’t know if you realize how much of a difference it makes. I love you for my own ring, but Lee not having one, it put an obstacle between us. Thank you. Thank you so much. I can’t believe that you’ve now done this for both of us.”

I found it difficult to find words. It had gone over so quickly, and it had been an idea that had come to me in the last second. It seemed almost wrong that something so quick and so unexpected should be that big of a deal.

“Let’s hope... it really works,” I whispered lamely. “We don’t know yet.”

Lexi let go of me. “If it doesn’t,” she whispered, “I will rip the witch’s heart out myself.”

I looked at Lee. Once again, I had no idea what to say.

“I’m sorry,” whispered Lee.

“... thank you,” I whispered. A moment later, we hugged; it was brief, but coming from him, I knew it was honest.

“You didn’t have to do what you just did,” he whispered afterward, “and it means a lot. Thank you, Elena.”

I nodded, still feeling overwhelmed with conflicting emotions.

I looked around. Everyone was still standing in front of the door, except for Jenna and Caroline. I had hoped that we would all get a ring; now, none of us had one. But I didn’t want to talk to them. The truth was, I didn’t even want to talk to Lexi right now. I turned around to escape into my room, only to remember that that’s where Anna and the witch still were. But I had to get away from-

“Elizabeth?” I asked.

“Yes?”

“Do you know if Amiel is downstairs?” I whispered.

“He was a bit earlier.”

“Then, can I come to your room? Please?”

Elizabeth nodded, and I followed her, just wanting to get away from everyone else. I felt better as soon as the door was shut.

Without warning, Elizabeth threw her arms around me.

It came as an utter surprise, given how reserved and formal she had been up to this point. It took me a moment to even remember that she, too, had just been granted the ability to walk in the sun. But unlike with Lee, I hadn’t even-

“I would give you my own ring if I could,” whispered Elizabeth. “I want you to know that.”

“Now you’re going too far,” I protested, feeling almost protective of the older vampire. “You deserve it as much as anyone.”

Elizabeth drew back, looking up at me – she actually had to look up; it was rare for me to be the taller one.

“Everything good that’s ever happened to me has been because of you,” she whispered. “And now, you’ve given me this, too? That’s not fair.”

“But I haven’t done anything. You passed on your own.”

Elizabeth shook her head. “I wouldn’t even have been in the room if not for you.”

“Oh,” I murmured, “right. Still, you deserve it. It’s been only two days, and you’ve already helped me so much.”

To my utter shock, I saw her shed a tear when I said this.

“Thank you,” she whispered. Then, she sat down on her bed, hiding her face between her hands.

I didn’t know what to do, but not doing anything seemed wrong, so I sat down beside her and carefully put an arm around her shoulder.

“Hey,” I whispered, “what’s wrong?”

Elizabeth sobbed. “You don’t know,” she breathed, “you don’t know what my life was like... before you saved me. I’ve been alone... for so long...”

“How did you get to Mystic Falls?” I asked. I had been in her situation many times, and for me, it was always easier if I had something to talk about.

“I wanted to save people,” whispered Elizabeth. “That’s why I returned to civilization. I wanted to use what I was for something good. I gave my blood to people on the verge of death, who wouldn’t make it otherwise. That’s... that’s why I was in Mystic Falls during the civil war. But then, the round-up happened, and I was sure that now I would burn to death. It almost... it almost happened before. More than once. I was out alone, without shelter to hide from the sun. But then, we survived, and... and what came next was even worse. After a while, I began to drift in and out of consciousness, and every time I woke up, the pain was worse, and I hoped that it would be the end. And then, it was like no time had passed, like I had just woken up one more time, but someone was giving me blood, and then...”

She lowered her hands to look at me.

“... then you were there, and the pain had gone away. You don’t know what that was like. There was so much pain for so long. So much. Sometimes, I wondered if I had died and gone to hell, if it would stay like this forever. It hurt... it hurt... so much...”

Elizabeth sobbed, choking on her words.

“I don’t think I would accept your ring, if you could give it to me,” I whispered. “I’m not sure anyone deserves it as much as you.”

Elizabeth buried her head against my shoulder, and I could feel her entire body shaking. A shiver ran down my spine as I realized just how hard it may have been for her to keep together until now. She had always seemed so calm and level-headed before.

 _And the other tomb vampires have all gone through the same thing_. _All of them have lived through hell as their bodies slowly shut down more and more. How long did it take for them to fall unconscious for good?_

Miraculously, something about Elizabeth’s breakdown seemed to have a calming effect on me. Perhaps it was the realization that other people had it so much worse than myself. The interrogation I had done was nothing compared to the experience of any of the tomb vampires, nor to the decades of loneliness and shame that Stefan had experienced.

After a while, Elizabeth’s breathing gradually normalized.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, “I don’t know why-”

“Don’t apologize,” I whispered emphatically. “You have every right to cry after what happened to you.”

This was followed by a stretch of silence, time which I used to contemplate the reality of Nomusa’s refusal. Without her, there was no clear path to a daylight ring. I would remain a slave to darkness for the foreseeable future – perhaps for years, perhaps even decades.

“It all feels so distant now,” whispered Elizabeth eventually. “Everything since before you’ve saved me. It’s so much history, but it feels so distant... and so different.” She raised her head, looking around the room. “So much has changed,” she breathed. “It almost feels like we are already too late.”

Unexpectedly, her words evoked a sinking feeling in my breast. What she had said touched on something I had wondered myself. If only I had been born twenty years earlier...

“Putting the rings aside,” I whispered, “I think things have worked out pretty well this morning. That’s a first step, isn’t it?”

Elizabeth nodded. “It was everything I was hoping for. Was...” She hesitated. “... what happened with Emilia, it was all true, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah,” I whispered, “I wouldn’t make something like that up. It happened. I saw it as a chance and took it. I still cried when I heard it,” I added, using the opportunity to share something private about myself, like I had done with Stefan on the day we had met. “It’s my fault that Glenn is dead.”

“And your doing that so many others are not,” whispered Elizabeth. At that moment, someone was knocking on the door.

“Yes?” asked Elizabeth – notably, not before moving a few inches away from me.

The door was opened, and Anna stepped inside. “The bitch didn’t listen,” she whispered without preamble. “Even though I bet she knew she was wrong. But she would rather break her promise than admit a mistake.”

“I’m not mad at you,” I whispered. “You tried.”

“Yeah,” whispered Anna, “that’s not good enough. We need to talk. I have things to tell you.”

“Um...” I made, “... alright. Can we go back to my room, or is Nomusa-”

“I told her to get the hell out of here. Yeah, let’s go back to your place.”

“I will see you tomorrow, then,” whispered Elizabeth. “Thank you for-”

“Hold on,” I interrupted her, “I wasn’t saying you couldn’t come with us. Anna, is what you’re going to tell me personal or about...” I hesitated. “... the big picture?”

“... both,” whispered Anna with some delay. Then, she sighed. “I know Stefan will hear everything I tell you, and Lexi has a right to know, anyway. If you trust Elizabeth as much as those two, she might as well come along. I know you’re trustworthy,” she added toward the older vampire. “But that’s it, you understand me? Those are the only people who get to know. Not a word to anyone else, and that includes Jenna and Caroline.”

I hesitated – but there wasn’t much of a choice. I nodded.

“Cool,” whispered Anna, “then let’s go.”

She left without wasting another moment, and Elizabeth and I followed her back to Stefan and my room. Once there, Anna grabbed the little stool and dragged it in front of the bed, sitting down to face both of us.

“I wasn’t going to tell you this,” she whispered, “but given what happened, it looks like I still owe you. Mother is free because of you. If you don’t get the ring, at least you deserve to know the truth.”

“... yes?” I asked when, after a few seconds, Anna still hadn’t continued.

“Maybe I shouldn’t,” murmured Anna. “I’m not sure if you even want to know. If I tell you, it might ruin what you have here. At least, you’ll have to do without me.”

“Are you going to leave?” I asked, suddenly worried. I wanted her to stay; keeping the coven together would be much harder without her help.

“Not if you don’t want me to,” whispered Anna, “but you may after I tell you.”

I shook my head. “I doubt that. I’ve forgiven Stefan, haven’t I? I don’t think there’s anything you could have done that could be worse.”

Anna bit her lip.

Then, she sighed.

“Okay,” she whispered, “fuck it. I’ve been lying to you. Katherine and I have been much closer than I’ve let on. I know exactly what she wants. I know why she’s after you, and I know why she faked her death in 1864. And...” I could see her grimace, but she still continued. “... and when I came with Lexi to pick you up, my plan was to betray you once Katherine found us, and use Lexi’s life to blackmail Stefan, so he would finally give me the bloody amulet.”


	34. Revelations, #3

Anna was looking at me, waiting for a reaction.

“What would have happened to Lexi?” I whispered.

“I don’t know.”

“Would you have cared if she had died?”

“A little,” whispered Anna. “Not enough.”

“And you knew what she was, didn’t you? You knew what she had done for Stefan?”

Anna nodded, and while it did make me angry, I couldn’t help to appreciate that she was, at least, being honest.

Not saying anything, I closed my eyes, trying to get a grasp on my feelings. For a moment, I pictured myself standing up and punching her, that person who would barely have cared if Katherine had killed the greatest person in the world. Make her feel a tiny sliver of the pain of others that she was so indifferent to. She would probably let me. She might even be friends with me afterward.

But my anger disappeared quickly. It was already hard for me to be angry at Anna, and the way she had stood up to me earlier made it impossible.

“Is that everything?” I asked.

She nodded.

“Then,” I whispered, “it’s okay.”

“Seriously? Just like that?”

I nodded. “What I said is still true – it’s not as bad as what Stefan has done. Also, you could have done all sorts of things to get the amulet earlier, and I guess I have to thank you for not doing it.” I made a pause. “And,” I added, “I really don’t want to be angry at you.”

Anna grimaced. “You’re being... very generous,” she murmured, “more than I deserve. But I am sorry, Elena. I knew that you were all decent people. It wasn’t right.”

Following an instinct, I stood up from the bed and hugged her.

“It’s alright,” I whispered over her shoulder. “Just, please, stay with us. I want this to work out, and your help could make the difference. The tomb vampires listen to you.”

When I let go, I noticed the hint of a smile on her face. Then, she nodded.

“I’ll lead the first hunt tonight, then,” whispered Anna, “like we’ve planned. And don’t worry; I’ll make sure no-one gets hurt.”

I nodded. “Thank you,” I whispered, retaking my seat next to Elizabeth. Anna’s group was scheduled to depart at midnight; Lexi’s half an hour later. Nomusa had arrived at ten, and her visit hadn’t lasted long, so we should still have well over an hour.

“Okay,” I whispered, “when you came with Lexi to the hotel, when did you decide to stick with us? When Katherine didn’t show up?”

Anna shook her head. “I think it’s better if I start at the beginning.”

“Alright, go ahead.”

“It will be a longer story,” whispered Anna. “There’s a lot you don’t know. It starts with the family of original vampires.”

She made a pause as if to give me a chance to object, but I said nothing, so she continued.

“I don’t know the entire story, but it’s said that a witch named Esther created the first generation of vampires. She transformed her husband, Mikael, and all of her children. You don’t know how werewolves work, do you?”

I shook my head.

“It’s not like vampires. You can only be a werewolf if you inherit the gene from your ancestors. And if you have the gene, it remains passive until you kill someone. The original family lived in a town populated by carriers of the gene. Esther was unfaithful with one of them. That means one of the original vampires, his name is Niklaus, has the potential to be a hybrid. Elizabeth, have you ever heard about the sun and moon curse?”

“No,” whispered Elizabeth.

“A bunch of vampires know about it. It’s said that a shaman put a curse on both species to curtail their potential. Since then, vampires burn in the sun, and werewolves can only turn at a full moon. But it’s all a lie. The real curse was cast by Esther, meant to suppress Niklaus’ werewolf gene. Witches are all about balance, and I guess a hybrid would be too powerful.” She made a pause. “All of this is what Niklaus told me. He had no reason to lie, so it’s probably true, but who knows. He’s not known for being honest. He was the one who spread the lie about the sun and moon curse, hoping to give an incentive to both witches and werewolves to break the curse for him.

“Now, this part is where it affects you personally. There is a magical entity we call the doppelganger that predates the original family by a thousand years. They are a set of people, all from the same family line, who look exactly alike. It’s a gene, like that of werewolves, but it’s unlikely to become active. It only happens once every couple hundred years.”

“And it’s me and Katherine,” I murmured. “Seriously?”

“Yes,” whispered Anna, “and unfortunately for you, the doppelganger is a key ingredient to break the curse. That’s why Niklaus is hunting Katherine and why Katherine was so eager to make him believe she was dead. And-”

“That’s why she’s after me?” I asked. “To sell me to Niklaus?”

Anna nodded. “And here’s the best part. The doppelganger can only be used to break the curse while she’s still human. Katherine has already lost, but because of what you had Zach tell her, she still thinks she can exchange you for her own freedom.”

“Katherine is a vampire, too,” whispered Elizabeth. “Why does he still care about her?”

Anna’s mouth twitched.

“What do you think?”

“Revenge?” I asked numbly, and Anna nodded.

“Niklaus is a spiteful man. But Katherine didn’t expect it any more than you did. You couldn’t appreciate the irony of your own escape, Elena. You did the same thing she did. She hanged herself when someone made the mistake of giving her blood, hoping that Niklaus wouldn’t be chasing after her anymore. Incidentally, the vampire who did it is still alive and also hiding from the originals. Her name is Rose. She’s about ten years younger than me. And her lover, the one who was responsible, is called Trevor, the same vampire who turned Amiel. Unfortunately for Rose, she’s in love with an utter idiot. Trevor was stupid enough to tell his name to the people he turned, even though Niklaus was still after him. And he thought Katherine was in love with him; that’s how Rose got into the mess in the first place. I don’t know how he hasn’t gotten himself killed in the meantime; usually, the dumb ones don’t live that long. Probably because Rose looked after him. Anyway, as far as I know, they are both still alive. There are only a handful of vampires that old left in the world.”

“... okay,” I whispered after taking some time to digest this, “why is Niklaus chasing him?”

Anna laughed, and when I heard this, I realized that I had never heard her laugh before.

“For helping Katherine, of course. As I said, he is a spiteful man.”

“After so many years,” I murmured. “That’s... that’s insane. Who of the original family is still alive today?”

“Oh,” whispered Anna, “right, I haven’t told you the most important part. Original vampires can’t be killed. Or at least, it’s bloody difficult to kill them. But they can be put into a permanent coma of sorts. As far as I know, and I may be wrong, especially on this one, the only two who are free right now are Niklaus and his older brother – well, half-brother, given how Niklaus was conceived. His name is Elijah. When I spoke to Niklaus, he said his brother wanted to kill him, although that was about eighty years ago, so who knows what happened since. Also – and if you tell this to anyone, I might still kill you – I know the location of Mikeal’s crypt. As of now, I’m probably the only person in the world who does.”

“Putting aside whether that would ever conceivably be a good idea,” I whispered, “but to be clear on what the situation is, would it be possible to wake him up?”

“Easy,” whispered Anna. “Pull the dagger out of his heart, and it’s done. Except that you don’t know where it is, and that’s the one thing I’m not going to tell you.”

“Dagger?” I echoed.

“Yeah, apparently, you need to put a dagger into the ash of the tree that was used to create the first vampires and stake them with it. If you use anything else, they wake up after a while. Don’t ask who has the ash right now; I don’t know.”

I drove a hand through my hair, and in doing so, realized that it was shaking.

“Okay,” I murmured, “okay. First things first. Niklaus and Elijah. What are they like?”

“Niklaus is a psychopath,” whispered Anna. “A bit like Damon, but much smarter. He told me his backstory just for fun, after he slept with me. Afterward, he tried to compel me to forget. Yeah, original vampires can compel normal ones; it’s fucked up.”

“Then,” I asked, “why...?”

“They still can’t compel through vervain.”

“Oh.” _Is she still carrying vervain?_ I wondered, but I didn’t ask.

I shuddered when I processed what she had just told me. Niklaus had probably raped her, or at least, it seemed doubtful that Anna had been interested. But she had said it as if it were nothing.

“I don’t know if he would care to kill me if he knew,” whispered Anna, “or if he even remembers who I am and what happened. Who knows. But I’m not about to take chances.”

I nodded. “I won’t tell anyone but Stefan,” I whispered. “I swear it.”

I stared at Anna’s face, and realized that I had to know what had happened.

“Sorry,” I began, “if you don’t want to answer this, I won’t ask again. But... when he... did he...”

“I’m asexual,” whispered Anna. “But I thought it would be safer to pretend to be into it, given that he could have easily killed me if he wanted to, for whatever reason. It wasn’t difficult.”

The utter indifference with which she had said this sent a shiver down my spine. I bit my lip, trying to figure out how to react to it.

 _She said it’s been eighty years,_ I reminded myself _. Perhaps, it’s normal. But probably not._

“Okay,” I murmured, “thank you for telling me. What about Elijah?”

“I’ve heard Rose say he’s a man of honor. I don’t know any reason to think he’s similar to his brother. But I don’t know.”

“Thank god,” I murmured. “Wow, that’s... a lot.”

I pressed my eyelids together, trying to order my thoughts.

“What other powers do original vampires have?” I asked.

“Everything we have, they have more of,” whispered Anna. “They’re stronger, faster, have better senses, and heal more quickly. I think wood doesn’t have any effect on them, though I’m not sure. I know it can’t kill them for good.”

I nodded. None of that was surprising – and, as with normal vampires, the compulsion was the most important part.

 _I need to add the contraption again,_ I realized. _I don’t need the pill, but I need the vervain._

“Okay,” I murmured, “Katherine. You said she faked her own death. Does that mean she knew what was going to happen in 1864?”

“I don’t _know,”_ whispered Anna, “not with certainty, but it seems so.”

“But if that’s the case,” I whispered slowly, “that means she did this to Pearl. Does that not-”

“Of course it matters to me,” hissed Anna. “I fucking hate her. You’re wondering why I wanted to switch sides. I’m an idiot, that’s why. I thought Katherine was in the tomb all these years. When I heard that she was still alive, I didn’t figure out what it meant in time. It only dawned on me when you were speculating about her motivations in the hotel.”

“Is that when you decided to work with us after all?”

“No; I decided that as soon as Stefan called to tell us what you had done. You turned, which meant Katherine lost. As soon as that happened, there was no reason for her to cooperate with me anymore, even if I were willing to. At that point, I knew I had to get mother back by bargaining with you.”

“Why? You could have still kidnapped Lexi and negotiated with Stefan.”

“I didn’t want to do that.”

“But-” I began, then cut myself off. “It’s different if you’re doing it together with someone else?”

Anna sighed. “It’s not that different. I’ve already told you that I think it was wrong for me to do it. But it’s easier. And I was getting... concerned. With Lexi involved, and now Bree and Katherine, there was just no clear path to me getting the amulet, and working with Katherine was the easy way out. And yes, I think it’s not _as_ bad as doing it myself. But like I said, I’m sorry.”

I shook my head. “You’ve already apologized. I was just trying to understand. Well,” added, “I’m glad you chose to work with me instead, whatever the reason.”

“I’m too,” whispered Anna. “I should have known to trust you. I knew you’re not a hypocrite, but somehow, it’s hard for me to believe it. It’s so rare.”

I looked down at my hands, unable to suppress a smile at the compliment.

“Can I ask you something?” whispered Elizabeth.

“Sure,” whispered Anna, “what?”

“Lexi has told me about Elena’s abduction. Katherine kept you alone in a cellar while she was gone, and you escaped by turning and then breaking through the door. Right?”

I nodded.

“Do we assume that she was-”

“Oh, crap,” I whispered when I realized what she was getting at. “She could have already contacted him. Niklaus.”

“I think the odds are against it,” whispered Anna. “You don’t contact Niklaus directly. You probably have several intermediate people. I’d say it should be possible to stop the message chain even if it’s already started.”

“Yeah?” I asked, feeling far from convinced. “In the age of cellphones? Why would it take more than a few minutes? Let alone hours?”

“Because the people are not all immediately available,” suggested Anna.

“Okay,” I whispered, “maybe. _Maybe._ But do we have a guarantee?”

“Well,” whispered Anna, “no.”

“If he’s heard,” I breathed, “what then?”

“Katherine is in trouble,” whispered Anna, “first and foremost. You’ve not really done anything to anger-”

“Neither has Katherine,” I cut her off. “The doppelganger dies to break the curse, I assume?”

Anna nodded.

“Then, she only tried to save her own skin. Being angry at her about that doesn’t make any sense. It’s what everyone would do.”

“That’s your take,” whispered Anna, “but Niklaus does not think like you do.”

“I’m sure he doesn’t, but are you sure that he won’t also think I deserve revenge based on having turned? Even if I didn’t know about the curse?”

“Sure? No. But it seems unlikely. If anything, I expect him to blame that on Katherine, too. It’s her fault you turned.”

I let out a breath. My hands were still shaking.

“How powerful is he? Could we beat him?”

“Probably not.”

“Can he enter the house?”

“No, but Niklaus is known for having witches work for him. Powerful witches. There are ways.”

“Fuck,” I cursed, now feeling even more afraid. Someone smart, incredibly powerful, and with access to witches... that didn’t even sound like winnable odds, let alone good ones.

“There’s probably not much you can do about it,” whispered Anna.

“That’s what people say who are too lazy to think,” I held against her. “I bet that there’s plenty we can do. What else is needed to break the curse?”

“A vampire sacrifice, a werewolf sacrifice, a witch, the doppelganger, a full moon, and an object called the moonstone. I have no idea who has it. But all of that doesn’t matter anymore. The doppelganger is not replaceable. And you don’t have children, which means that your family line ends with you.”

“Not necessarily,” I whispered. “We’ve saved some of my eggs weeks ago.”

“What?” asked Elizabeth. “Eggs?”

“Women still have children in the same way,” whispered Anna, “we’ve just found out more about how it works. The body of a female human produces eggs, which can be fertilized by the sperm cells of a male human. They can be taken out through medical surgery, fertilized, and implanted into another woman’s body. If Elena has done the first step, and if the eggs are well-preserved, and if someone else is willing to go through pregnancy for her – she should be able to have children. I can’t imagine that her turning changes eggs that are no longer in her body. If she does have children, they would be carried through by someone else, but they will have her genes, including the doppelganger gene. But even then, Elena, that could take hundreds of years. As far as we know, there has been no doppelganger in between you and Katherine.”

I nodded. “Yeah, it probably doesn’t make a difference as far as the curse is concerned. But people who don’t know that I’ve turned could still try to break it, couldn’t they? That includes Niklaus and Katherine.”

“Niklaus probably doesn’t know you exist,” whispered Anna. “And Katherine – aren’t you planning to catch her?”

I nodded.

“I don’t know how yet. I was going to think about it as soon as I get some time. But if you guys have any ideas...?”

“Before you start making plans,” whispered Anna, “there is one more thing I should tell you.”

“Yes?”

“I can actually hear you even if you’re whispering and in a different room.”

I could feel my jaw drop. “No,” I breathed, which was a childish response, but I couldn’t help it. Something in me didn’t want to believe that it was true.

“I’m sorry,” whispered Anna. “If it makes you feel any better, I’m most likely the only one.”

I hid my face between both hands as I remembered the conversation with Caroline I’d had the other day...

 _... but even if she can hear well enough,_ I thought, _she might not have paid attention at that time... right? Please?_

“Do you, um... how often do you-”

“I usually hear everything,” whispered Anna. “even if there are several conversations at once. And yes, I’ve heard what you’re probably thinking about. But, honestly, Elena, this is a silly thing to worry about. You didn’t say anything disrespectful. If anything, you’ve proven that you’re an adult about this kind of thing.”

I said nothing. Important or not, Anna had _not_ been supposed to hear me gush over how beautiful she was. That simply wasn’t fair. The conversation had meant to stay between Caroline and me.

“There’s no way to keep anything from you?” I asked, mostly to distract myself.

“Talk even more quietly,” suggested Anna.

“You’ve heard everything,” I murmured. “From everyone. In that case, at least you can tell me if anyone is planning to murder someone.”

“Not as far as I know,” whispered Anna, “but I had no idea what was going to happen with Emilia, either. She didn’t talk to anyone about her plans.”

“Can I tell _that_ to Jenna and Caroline?” I asked. “That they don’t actually have privacy in their own rooms?”

“I’d rather you didn’t,” whispered Anna. “It’s more useful if people don’t know. I’ve never met another vampire who hears as well as I do, so no-one ever expects it. It’s a good way to learn what people are really like.”

“I think they have a right to know.”

“Oh, and the others don’t?”

I paused at that. She was right. The decent thing would be to tell everyone, but Anna wouldn’t do it, and I knew that I wouldn’t do it in her place, so there was no point in suggesting it.

“Okay,” I whispered, “but if we’re all going to be friends-”

“ _You’ve_ earned my friendship, Elena, if you want it. And Lexi, maybe. Jenna and Caroline haven’t.”

I sighed. “Okay. Can I tell Lexi, at least?”

“I’ll tell her myself,” whispered Anna. “Along with what I’ve done.”

I shuddered. “If you do this,” I whispered, “let me talk to her first. I don’t want to have you two fighting.”

“Sure.”

I nodded. “And thank you,” I added. “I’ve always wanted to have powerful vampires as friends.”

Anna giggled, which was another thing I’d never heard her do.

“... alright,” I whispered with some delay, “Katherine. So, now that-”

I stopped.

“... now it’s easy,” I murmured. “If what you told me is true, and if Zach still plays along, the trap is obvious.”

I turned to look at Elizabeth. I had already known she was smart, and her contributions during this conversation had strengthened that impression. I felt curious if she would see the plan as well.

And she did. After noticing my gaze, Elizabeth hesitated for a few more seconds, then summarized the same idea in a single sentence.

I nodded. “Exactly.”

“Yeah,” whispered Anna, “that could work. But there’s a lot that can go wrong.”

“Where is Nomusa?” I asked at once, realizing that this was now the most important question.

“No idea. I didn’t recommend her any hotels before she left.”

“But still in Mystic Falls?”

“Well,” whispered Anna, “I’m sure she hasn’t taken a flight yet. It’s not even been an hour.”

“Call her. We need her for this. Maybe we could do it without a witch, but it would make it a lot harder. And Nomusa seemed really powerful.”

“She is,” said Anna, “but we didn’t exactly part on good terms.”

“Oh, come on. Is she going to refuse this favor because of an argument? She doesn’t want to make me the ring. Fine. But she can’t refuse this. We want her help catching an evil vampire. It’s guaranteed to save human lives if we succeed, and she won’t have to go anywhere near Katherine to do it. Tell her the debt is settled if she does this for us. She can consider herself lucky to get off so easily. And if we get Katherine out of the way...”

I grimaced.

“... Jenna and Caroline still can’t go back to their old lives, not without rings. But _still_. Katherine could decide to kidnap Caroline’s mom any day. And she wants about half of the people in this house dead. We need to stop her. If we can’t get daylight rings, so be it, as long as we can all be safe again.”

“What time frame are you thinking about here, Elena?” asked Anna.

“We want to wait until she messages Zach,” I whispered. “That’s less suspicious. That means we can’t control the timing perfectly. But Zach told us she’s messaging him at least every other day. I’d say, we try to get everything prepared by tomorrow night. Maybe the day after that. Then, whenever she contacts him next, we set the plan into motion.”

Anna nodded.

“I’ll do it. But I have one condition.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you figure out what Elena has planned? You have all the information you need to do this.


	35. Katherine, #1

Baltimore, Maryland.

The Hilton Baltimore hotel was a high-class establishment that had opened up to the public less than a year ago. A place for wealthy tourists, and sometimes young couples in search of a romantic getaway. Rooms began at a hundred and thirty dollars per night, not counting additional expenses such as dining at the pricey restaurant.

But there was one visitor who was yet to pay a cent, despite indulging in a wide range of special offers. A beautiful lady, barely grown into adulthood, who moved around the corridors as if the establishment belonged to her. She could often be seen in the pool, wearing a skimpy two-piece swimsuit and enjoying the looks it got her. Other times, she was hanging out in the lobby or restaurant. Suspiciously often, she got someone else to follow her back to her room. So far, they had all been white, handsome men in their twenties or early thirties.

Usually, these people loved their time in the lady’s room, which one might have thought odd given that much of their stay consisted of quietly sitting around. But they knew it was a privilege to be with her at all, and they wanted nothing more than to offer her their blood as often as possible. Katherine, meanwhile, had long learned to appreciate having dinner available whenever she pleased. One could get more enjoyment out of blood by spreading it out over the day, taking small bites here and there whenever lust dictated it.

Once, a visitor had also served her in other ways. This, too, was something he had loved doing, a great honor that only he was privileged enough to perform – or so he would have said, had he been asked at any point throughout the act. In truth, none of the men ever ended up reporting much of anything, for once they were back in the lobby, all they remembered was having spent a pleasant evening or afternoon with the beautiful lady.

Occasionally, her behavior was noticeable enough to draw attention – who was this strange woman who seemed to have booked several rooms just for herself? But then, most visitors didn’t stay for more than a few days, and far too many things happened out in the world for it to have much of an impact. If she were to stay long enough, perhaps it would be noticed eventually, but Katherine had only been at the hotel for five days, and throughout this time, nothing too extraordinary had occurred. In particular, no-one had died – Katherine was far too experienced to kill by accident, and she had every intention to keep a low profile.

Right now, despite having the entire observable world at her feet, Katherine mostly looked bored as she slouched on the sofa of a hotel room, staring out the window onto the Baltimore Convention Center that was connected to the hotel through a fancy sky bridge. After a few minutes of doing nothing, she stretched out her hand to grab a device lying on a small round table.

Katherine pressed a few buttons with just her left hand, then sighed as she had to adjust her position to free her other one. Lying on her back, she typed a short message whilst holding the device over her head.

_Got any updates?_

She pressed send, then her hand that was still holding the smartphone dropped down as if she no longer had the strength to hold it up.

“Come over here,” she called out. A few seconds later, a handsome young man with dark blond hair entered the room. “Snack!” dictated Katherine. “Give me your arm.”

Not bothering to change her position, Katherine waited for the man to kneel down and hold his arm in front of her face. She used the hand that was still holding the phone to pull it close, and a moment later, her fangs were buried into the man’s skin. She moaned softly around the arm in her mouth, and a shiver ran through her body. But she only drank for a few seconds, then retreated her mouth and licked her lips clean.

“God, you taste good,” she mouthed, her eyes closed. The man’s wound was already healing, and he had held his arm such that not a single drop of blood had spoiled the carpet. “Now, shush. Can’t you see that I’m busy?”

The man left the room, though Katherine had her eyes closed, and only opened them when there was a beep from her phone. Lazily, she lifted it up far enough to look at the screen.

_Lexi asked the witch who opened the tomb to stau longer, but she refused. She said it was too dangrous \ & she didn’tw ant to take the risk_

Katherine gave a snicker as she read the message. She adjusted her position on the sofa, now lying on her back and keeping both hands folded on her belly.

Less than a minute later, the phone beeped again. Katherine gave an annoyed sigh as she lifted it up once again to look at the screen.

_Also, elena has decided that she wants to turn tomorrow_

“What,” said Katherine out loud. A moment later, she sat upright. She stared at the phone for a few seconds, then typed another message that she sent at once.

_Why?_

Katherine stared at the screen for a few more moments, breathing heavily. Then, she disappeared out of the room at vampire speed, only to reappear moments later, carrying a laptop.

“David!” she called out as she booted it. “Or however you’re fucking called! Come over here!”

The man reappeared in the room momentarily.

“Do you have a car?” asked Katherine. “... oh, for god’s sake, you can talk now.”

“Yes,” said Daniel.

“Enough fuel to get to the airport?”

“Yes.”

“Then you’ll drive me there. It is a great honor to drive a lady to where she needs to go.”

Daniel’s face lit up. “When do we go?”

“As soon as I find out when the next fucking flight-”

There was another beep from the phone, and Katherine grabbed it at once, leaving her sentence unfinished.

_Stefan wants her to. He said he wantsh er to stay the way she is right now forever. She was so grateful for what he did in the tomb \ & with damon that shea ccepted._

Katherine’s eyes widened as she read the message.

“Motherfucker,” she murmured.

But then...

... then, she gave a quiet chuckle, slowly licking her lips as she stared at the screen.

 _What exactly have they planned?_ she typed after a while. _When and where does she want to turn?_

Katherine groaned in annoyance as she used the touchpad to launch firefox on the laptop.

“Gotta just find the next flight to Virginia...” she murmured as her fingers flew over the keyboard.

“What do you want to do in Virginia, Miss?”

“Just because I allowed you to talk doesn’t mean I want you to ask dumb questions,” murmured Katherine. Then, the phone gave a beep, and her eyes darted toward the screen.

_They went someplace. Don’t know where._

“Then find out, idiot,” hissed Katherine as she typed another message.

_Find out without raising suspicion. Talk just to Stefan, not Elena, if possible._

A few mouse clicks later, information on the upcoming flights to Virginia flashed onto the screen.

“It’s in under two hours!” said Katherine triumphantly. Without bothering to check whether there were free seats, she closed the laptop. “Get your ass moving. We’ll go right now.”

* * *

“Alright,” said Katherine twelve hours later as she and Daniel sat down in a car whose owner had been kind enough to hand the keys over to her. “I have the address, but I can’t get into the fucking house until Elena’s turned, and then it’s too late. That means you’ll be the key element in my plan. It is a great honor to help a lady get what she wants.”

Daniel nodded obediently.

“Here’s what I want you to do...” Katherine took his head in both hands, pulling him unnecessarily close to hers. “I’ll drive you to the house. You’ll say that you had a car accident and ask whether you can come inside to use the phone. There’ll be two people there, a guy and a girl who looks like me. You do not say why you’re really there or that I’ve sent you, no matter what happens. Once you’re in, you wait for an opportunity, and then you use this...”

Katherine produced a vervain dart, handing it to him.

“You stick this into his skin. He’s a vampire, so he’s far stronger than you, but you have the element of surprise. All you need to do is hit him with this, and the fight is over. Got it?”

Daniel nodded obediently.

“Once you’ve done that, the only obstacle is Elena. She’s a seventeen-year-old girl, and you’re a strong, muscular, handsome man in his prime...” She seductively traced a hand along his breast. “... so she shouldn’t be an issue. But whatever you do, _don’t kill her_. You can knock her out if you want, but don’t you risk killing her. If you lose control for some reason and can’t deal with her safely, you let her win before you risk killing her. Better you die than her. Got it?”

Daniel nodded obediently.

“Cool. God, you’re really hot... once everything is under control, call me. Stefan won’t be knocked out forever, so there’s no time to lose.”

* * *

Dunham Lake, Michigan.

Katherine had pulled off the highway some time ago. The lake house had just entered sight (her sight, anyway), so she turned off the engine. Without saying anything, she pointed in the direction of the house.

It took almost five minutes for Daniel to reach it; during this time, Katherine ran around the house in a wide circle and approached it from the opposite side. Amidst the cover of trees, she made it to a spot within hearing distance, then she waited.

She saw Daniel walk up to the entrance and ring the doorbell. She saw the door open and, just barely, recognized Elena standing in the entrance.

“Sorry to bother you,” said Daniel. “My tire broke a few miles down the road, and this is the closest house. I was wondering if I could maybe use your phone? I know it’s crazy not to have a phone with you in this day and age, but... I don’t, so...”

“Um, yeah,” said Elena’s voice. “Sure, no problem.”

He stepped inside, the door closed behind him, and now Katherine could no longer see what was happening.

For a few seconds, there was nothing except very, very quiet steps.

“Um...” It was Elena’s voice. “I’m really sorry; I haven’t been to this place in years. But we do have a phone. Let me just... yeah, I’ll find it, just give me a minute.”

Katherine took a breath but didn’t move from her spot.

“God-damn it,” said Elena’s voice, just barely audible.

“I think it’s upstairs,” said Stefan’s voice.

This was followed by more of nothing, only faint steps walking around the house. Daniel hadn’t said a word since he had entered.

“Finally,” said Elena’s voice. Then, a few seconds later, “here it is. Sorry it took so-”

There was a thud.

“What the hell?” said Elena’s voice. Then, there was a scream. Elena’s scream. A few seconds later, her voice got muffled.

“ _Yes,”_ hissed Katherine, “got ’em.”

She waited a few more seconds, then she heard Daniel’s voice.

“Got everything under control,” he shouted loudly. “But that bitch is stronger than she looks.”

Not waiting any longer, Katherine dashed up to the house at vampire speed.

“Open the door!” she shouted. “Bring her out to me.”

There was another thud. Katherine looked around, frowning. But before long, she turned her eyes back to the door.

“Just a moment,” called Daniel’s voice. Then, something ran up to Katherine, and within the span of a second, there was a vervain dart stuck in her shoulder.

Her attacker stood beside her, waiting as Katherine slowly sank onto the ground...

... until she shot up at supernatural speed, grabbed the other vampire at her neck, and threw her onto the ground with an amount of force that would have killed a human on the spot. A moment later, she had buried her hand into the other vampire’s breast, keeping it inches away from her heart.

“The fuck are you doing here?” hissed Katherine. Blood dwelt out of Anna’s mouth as she tried to respond.

“... don’t,” she breathed, barely audible, “don’t... kill me...”

“Why not?” said Katherine. “Weren’t you just trying to do the same with me?”

“Elena... she’ll... kill you... if you... kill me...”

“Elena won’t do shit. She’s just been knocked out.”

“I haven’t,” said Elena’s voice. “Let her go, Katherine. I promise I’ll treat you decently if you let her go. If you don’t, you’ll die.”

“What the fuck?” Katherine looked up to the door that was still locked. “What the fuck is going on here?”

“Get that out of me,” whispered Anna before she spat blood once again. “It... it hurts...”

Katherine stared down at the older vampire, then retreated her hand at once. Anna rolled over on the ground, gasping for breath. Katherine gave her about five seconds to heal the wound, then lifted up her body and smashed it against the wall of the house.

“If you can hear me, Elena, hear this. _Get out of here now, or Anna dies._ ”

Anna spat out another mouth full of blood, then murmured something unintelligible.

“ _What?”_ hissed Katherine.

“You, can’t, win,” whispered Anna. “Elena, already, turned.”

“ ** _What?_** ”

“Zach, was, lying. I’ve, compelled him. He, told you, this, to lure you, into a trap. Elena turned, when you captured her, she wasn’t wearing a tracker, she...” Anna had to stop for a painful wheeze, a few more drops of blood spilling onto the ground. “... she escaped by committing suicide after drinking vampire blood... just like you did... you’ve lost that day, Katherine...”

Katherine’s eyes grew wide as she watched Anna heal through her wounds.

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not,” breathed Anna. “You’ve lost, Katherine. You’re already trapped. And Elena wouldn’t give herself up to save me. She’ll kill you if you kill me and let you live if you don’t, but she won’t surrender, no matter what you do with me. She’s just like you in that way.”

“What do you mean ‘I’m already trapped’?” asked Katherine icily.

“There’s a barrier,” whispered Anna. “You can’t get out, and you can’t get inside the house because no-one invited you. Your best chance is to hope that Elena keeps-”

She didn’t get further because Katherine snapped her neck in a single motion, then ran away from the house-

-for about eight yards, until she hit an invisible barrier.

“No,” she whispered, “no no no no no.” She hit the barrier with her fist, then traced her hands along it, trying to find a hole. There was none. Now moving at vampire speed, she followed it all the way around the house, only to end up back in front of the entrance.

As she turned around to the other vampire, Anna suddenly got up and reached the door within a second. She gave it a kick that was powerful enough to separate the entire frame from the rest of the wall; then, she slipped inside.

“ _Fuck!”_ spat Katherine, breathing heavily, her gaze stuck at the door.

“There’s an entire army coming for you,” said Anna’s voice from inside. “We’ve compelled three dozen veterans to help us catch you. Elena doesn’t half-ass plans. She would have never relied on me beating you myself; I insisted on it. I don’t know why the vervain had no effect on you, but even that won’t help you. In just a bit, you’ll get your payback for what you’ve done to Pearl.”

There was a pause. Even though Katherine was free to move around between the barrier and the house, she did nothing.

“Should we call them off?” asked Anna’s voice.

“Might as well go with plan B, at this point,” answered Elena’s voice. “If Katherine’s immune to vervain, then it’s hard to incapacitate her. I’m not sure there is an easy solution. And we don’t know what else she has planned.”

“Probably nothing,” said Anna’s voice.

“Probably,” said Elena’s voice, “but we don’t know for sure. And the vets will be here in just a minute. Better do this quickly.”

“ _Elena killed your mother,_ ” spat Katherine, her hands clenched into fists. “I didn’t fucking kill her; Elena did! How the fuck can you take the side of that bitch?”

“There’s someone you should meet,” said Anna’s voice. “There are a lot more vampires involved in all this than you think. You’ve made a lot of enemies, Katherine.”

“Who ‘should I meet’?” asked Katherine. But a second later, she turned around as there were steps from behind her.

A vampire approached from the direction of the lake, halting several yards in front of the barrier.

“Hello, Katherine,” said Pearl.

Katherine’s eyes widened as she stared at her old friend.

“Annabelle had already released Zach from your compulsion when they decided to enter the tomb,” said Pearl calmly. “Elena didn’t kill me. I’m sorry – I know you wanted her to.”

“No,” said Katherine, “you’re wrong. You’re wrong, Pearl. I didn’t know what the town was going to do to you, I swear it, I just was lucky to escape, I didn’t-”

“Don’t lie to me, Katherine. We know exactly what you wanted. You wanted all tomb vampires to die, including me, just so you could fake your own death and escape the revenge of Niklaus. That’s why you wanted to catch Elena while she is still human, isn’t it? To trade her in exchange for your own freedom?”

Katherine frantically shook her head.

“That is not true; not a word of that is fucking true. Niklaus stopped caring about me decades before I ever set foot in Mystic Falls. I wanted to get ahold of Elena so I can be with Stefan again. I love him. You know that I do. You were there in 1864. You know what he means to me.”

“If that were true, why would it matter to you whether she turned?”

“She’s harder competition once she’s turned,” said Katherine. “I swear to you, Pearl, that’s all it is, just my own petty jealousy, it has nothing to do with you. It’s just personal.”

There were other steps. At vampire speed, Katherine ran a few yards to the left, and her eyes widened as she saw a group of people approach the house from the other side.

“Holy fuck,” murmured Katherine, “Anna hasn’t been kidding.” She retreated, turning back to Pearl. “Please,” she whispered, “please, Pearl, don’t let them kill me. Please. I didn’t do anything to you, you know I don’t care about most people, but I care about you, we’ve been friends for centuries. Please!”

“Fortunately for you,” said Pearl as several armed people stepped between her and Katherine, while others still kept their position around the house, “Elena plans to keep you alive indefinitely. Even if what you said were true, there would be no reason for me to interfere.”

Katherine shook her head, her eyes wide open in fear. “No,” she whispered, “no, you have to help me. Please!”

A moment later, one of the veterans shot his gun, and the bullet hit Katherine into her stomach. Another moment, and a second hit her in the knee.

“Stop them,” said Anna’s voice from inside.

“ _Stop!”_ echoed Elena’s voice. “Did you hit her?”

“Both shots right on the mark,” said the veteran who had fired the second one.

“Then don’t fire anymore,” said Elena loudly. “Two hits are enough.”

Katherine had sunk down onto the ground. She was bleeding but was still able to lift her head to see the door open once again. Anna stepped out, and this time, she was the one snapping Katherine’s neck, as effortlessly as a human might break a matchstick.


End file.
